Author's Note! So, this time, I'll try to make this chapter more Donatello-centri since I felt like he had been overshadowed by his two brothers lately. Don't worry, I'll make one for Raphael and Michaelangelo too. And maybe one for Master Splinter as well.

Disclaimer Notice! I disclaim the franchise Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they belong to its respective owner. What I do own on the other hand, was the story twist I made. That's all.

BLAMES, TEARS, AND REGRETS

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fan Fiction

Chapter Four

Kodak Moments

Donnie caught his breath as he engulfed the sight before him. They were standing inside his laboratory; that he had first noticed as soon as his feet touched the familiar ground. But the sight before him, shell! It scared him to the extent that his body was paralyzed with fear.

Lucky for him, he wasn't the one who screamed in panic. No, that was the youngest's job to do so. Michaelangelo screamed his girly scream after seeing the sight. But, who wouldn't?

They saw themselves, their own body, lying lifelessly on three different tables, forming a line. Damn, his laboratory now looked more like a hospital than a research facility. Three similar dextrose were connected on each of their arms. Then there was the sickening sound of their heartbeat on the monitor.

Mikey and Raph were the first to move. He, on the other hand, couldn't since he had found his body frozen from shock.

He saw his two brothers walked near their own beds and examined their own bodies.

Their breathing was normal, at least that's what he conclude. He just hoped that their health was stabilize too.

"Never in my life did I dream to see my body like this. It looked like I'm seeing myself in the mirror!" Even though Mikey sounded like his normal goofy self, he could hear the strain in his voice. Who could blame him? Seeing your body limp on the ground was something you wouldn't get to see every day.

"This is all my fault...." They heard Leo's voice echoed across the room. Donnie shook his head. So predictable for their eldest to blame himself. He saw Mikey choke back his tears. He was about to walk to him and conform him, but Raph beat him to it. 'Oh? I never knew Raph had that side...well, I still think he's closer to Mike than me' he thought as he stare at the Kodak seemed moment of the two. 'What's with all the Kodak anyway?!' Donnie asked himself.

He saw Raph rubbed Mikey's back in circles, whispering words of assurance and comfort as Mikey cried. Mikey was always the crybaby. Or perhaps out of them four, he was the only one who can open up his feelings in the public.

He can never do that. He prefers to let his feelings out when he is in the comfort of his sanctuary. Now, that he found himself inside his laboratory (the one he considered his sanctuary), was it okay for him to cry too?

He looked up and stared at the ceiling of the room. He could see the light bulb lighting up the once darkened room.

Suddenly, they heard another cry. Donnie turned around and was surprised to see Leo...crying. Donnie swore he had never seen his brother cry like this openly.

'Well...he didn't know that you were there...' A little voice at the back of his mind whispered. He nodded, agreeing with the thought.

Leo suddenly started shaking. He hugged his body as tears continue to fall on his cheeks. Donnie could only stare at him as he watched his brother broke down. The other two remaining turtle were startled as well.

'It was all my fault...if I had been much stronger back then...' They heard Leo's thoughts echoed across the room.

Donnie heard a loud growl from Raph. He saw him clenching his fist in anger. "Damn you Leo!" He yelled as he marched towards my eldest brother. "You! You! Always the noble! Eh?! Why do you always take the blame!!!" He screamed at our eldest, though both he and we knew that no words of him, no matter how comforting they could be, would reach the ears of the ones who needed them the most.

It was too dramatic, the scene he was forced to watch. It was too dramatic for him. He felt his body goes numb as he stared at his brothers - Leo who was hauling his angst out, Raph who was shouting at him, and Mikey who was crying at a distance staring at his brothers. He, who can't do anything but to stare and watch. Donatello had never felt useless more than he is tonight.

Leo slowly stood up, and their gazes followed him as he walked through Raph (leaving his brother flabbergasted) and into the center of the room, his hand rested atop of the table in which Raph's body laid.

"It should have been me..." We heard him whispered as he stared at our lifeless body.

Don wanted to comfort him there and now, hugged him, run circles on his back and whisper words of comfort. He wanted to do anything! Anything! That would make those tears stop.

He couldn't bear to see their brother that broken, none of them could. But as he approached his eldest, he was yet reminded again of how hopeless there were.

His eldest brother couldn't see him, he couldn't see any of them. He couldn't hear, nor feel their presence.

As if fate wanted to toy with his hope again, Leo turned his head. His eyes were downcast, but Donatello knew that if they weren't, he could have been staring right to him. But, Leo simply shook his head and headed for the door.

Even though he knew Leo's body would simply pass through him, he insisted on moving aside and making a way for his eldest brother.

Their eyes trailing at Leo's back.

'Master Splinter?' They heard his thoughts. Their eyes immediately snapped at the rat standing in front of their brother. Mikey's eyes shone as he stared at their father. "Master!!!" He yelled as he passed through their eldest and went to hug their father. But, Raph's hand held his shoulder, stopping him. Both Raph and Donnie knew that they couldn't be seen by others. They just don't want Mikey to passed through his as well.

Master Splinter smiled at his eldest and rested his hand on its shoulder. "My son...perhaps the freedom outside may do you good..." Leo's eyes snapped open as he gawked at his father.

'Is he serious?!' They heard his frantic thought. As if reading Leo's thoughts, Master Splinter nodded. Leo shook his head and hugged their father.

Donnie's eyes widened as he heard his father's command. He shouldn't let his eldest brother go out for patrol! He was alone! And freaking depress! What if he got attack? Who will take care of him?! For God's sake! He is your only functioning son! Aren't you even afraid to lose him?!

Raph and Mikey could see their fuming brother. Raph went to his side and tapped him. Donnie's glared turned to him. "Don? What are you thinking about?" Raph asked. "Yeah dude. What's with the panic?" Mikey asked as he approached the two.

Donnie sighed as he pushed his doubt aside. As if reading his thoughts, Raph patted him in the shoulder. "Hey! Its fearless we're talking about! He won't do anything stupid!" He encouraged him with one of his famous grin.

Donnie found himself smiling at him. Mikey went to his side and patted him as well. "Yeah. And we could follow him just to be sure. We could be like...his ghost bodyguard!" Mikey proclaimed, his eyes beamed with excitement. Donnie sighed. "Oh please. Haven't we talked about his before? We're not ghost. We aren't dead yet" Donnie said with faked anger. Raph grinned at the sight his brothers laughing. "Um guys. Leo's leaving" Raph interjected as he saw the door of their lair opened.

Immediately, they followed suit. They watched as Leo jumped from building to building, his eyes dazed and unfocused. It looked like he was just moving out of instinct.

All of a sudden, he halted in front of a building, his breath rigid and rapid. He looked around before sitting down. Donnie looked at his two brothers, silently asking them about what to do next. Mikey sat down beside Leo, while Raph and Donnie followed suit.

"I wish I could tell you how much we hate to see you cry..." Mikey said as he hugged their eldest, well seemed to hug, he made the gesture but he didn't fully circled his arms across their brother's body but instead made a little gap so his arms wouldn't passed through. Donnie smiled. 'Genius' he thought as he stared at his brothers.

Raph stood up, crossed his arms and decided to phase across the rooftop. He didn't want this kind of thing. He didn't want being ignored or not heard. He really wanted to yell at his older brother for being so stupid enough he's hurting himself by taking all the blame. He wanted to smack him in the head, pull his arm, and forced him to fight. Maybe by then, both he and his brother could relax for a moment and forget the troubles of the world.

Ah, who is he kidding? He's the only one who felt relax when adrenaline started to fill his body, and the times he could achieve such things is through the excitement of a fight. And now they're confused on why he's called the hothead?

"Taking a vacation?" Their heads snapped to the direction of the voice. All of the turtles' eyes widened when they saw the foot across the roof. In the middle stood with pride and glory, the daughter of the Shredder - Karai.

"How's the family Leo? Missing them?" Karai laughed as she caught the glare of the blue-banded turtle. She jumped and landed few meters away from the turtle, while the other foot ninja encircled him.

She glared at him as he glared back. She drew out her swords at the same time Leo did. Leo stood up and took a protective stance.

"What are you doing here, Karai?" Leo's voice was filled with venom. "What? So you own the whole place now?" Karai teased. She smirked maliciously as she ordered the foot to attack. The members nodded, acknowledging her orders, before performing as they we're told.

Donnie, Mikey and Raph took a defensive stance on instinct, but as soon as their bodies simply touched the foot, shoving them away due to the force, they we're yet again reminded of their helplessness.

Leo fought and stood on his ground as swarm of foot ninjas fought him. They seemed endless! They were coming from different directions! Thank God he took extra trainings everyday or he would have fallen right here right now.

Raph gritted his teeth as he continued to punch the foot ninjas that were fighting his older brother. Even though his actions didn't change anything, at least he was releasing some of his anger.

Donnie stared as his eldest brother, marveled by how much he could endure a fight. On his side were their youngest, clenching his fist together as if offering prayers from the gods above. Even though his eyes we're filled with worry, you could still see a hint of pride and excitement shine through.

'I can't...' They heard Leo's defeated thoughts as he tried with all his might to keep those foot ninja from him. But the fatigue and exhaustion mixed together with his unstable emotions filled with guilt, was too much for his body to hold.

Against his will, his body soon came to stop. His knees bulged and he fell to the ground. He used his swords to stay conscious and far from the contact of the ground. He was on his knees, but he didn't dare to keep his eyes away from the enemy. The eyes that showed nothing but anger.

The three brothers immediately come to his aid, forming a semicircle to their brother. They could hear their brother's long and huffed breathing. He was exhausted, very exhausted.

The foot ninja didn't waste their golden opportunity and immediately seized the turtle. Raph, Donnie and Mikey tried to fight them off, but to no vain. True, the foot ninja didn't passed through them, but their body pushed them out of the way.

They could only stare as the two ninja lifted each of their brother's arm, while another one pointed a sharp blade at his neck. He was still kneeled on the ground, his swords now kicked meters away from him and two ninjas held his arms.

"Damn it..." Donnie and the others heard him cursed. They couldn't do anything as the foot held their brother captive, they was forced to watch.

Karai slowly emerged from the shadows, a confident smirked on her face. "Look at the mighty Leonardo..." She taunted. "I wonder what would have happen if your brothers were here to join us now..." She twirled the sword she was holding, ridiculing her enemy of his helplessness.

Leo glared. "Leave them out of it" He hissed. Karai ignored his statement and continued on her taunts. After all, her enemy is pinned on the ground, exhausted and surrounded by his subordinates. What could he possibly do?

"You know, if they were with us tonight...I would direct these exact words to them" Leo tried to move against his captors. "Leave them out of it!" He yelled through gritted teeth. A foot ninja punched him in the face, obviously not amused by his disrespect towards their master.

Leo spat out blood, but held his glare.

Karai laughed as she saw the looks his brothers' held. Oh yes, she could see them.

"In this game of chase, no matter how smart, how strong.." she chuckled before continuing "or how goofy one can be. You cannot beat us. Because we are always one step ahead of the game" She kneeled down before him and started to touch his cheeks. Leo flinched in her touch and this made her grin grew wider.

"And if they ever...ever...decided to move against our rules..." she grabbed his chin and whispered her next words at his ears.

"I will make them see you suffer...." Her eyes landed on the three invisible turtles standing with their eyes wide and mouth agape. She smirked at their direction before standing up again.

Leo looked at him with eyes wide in confusion. She motioned for one of the foot to knock the turtle off. The foot ninja nodded and did as he was commanded.

"LEO!" She heard the three brothers yelled as they saw their brother's body goes limp and fell to the ground. "I hope you're amused..." she said as she grinned at the turtles.

Raph launched at her. He didn't pass through her, but he also didn't inflict any damage at her. His fist simply collided with her, and she stood there unscathed. She felt like a wall to him.

"Heed this as a warning, turtle. If ever you decided to play against our rule. Next time would make his suffering today looked like a walk in the park. So, no talking okay?" she winked at them playfully, angering Raph further.

She motioned for them to retreat. And within minutes, they disappeared in the shadows.

Author's Note! I'm really sorry if Karai sounded far from her normal self. I guess, I just made her act like one of my favorite villains. Sorry about that. Anyhow, did you find her encounter a Kodak moment? Cause' I did. Leave a review.