I know you guys have been waiting super long, some of you literally a year,and I appreciate that so much, seeing my notifications everyday with likes and comments really warms my heart ❤️
I have seen some comments asking where requests are and I wanted firstly, to take this time to apologise for my chaotic ons and offs.
As I'm sure most of you know, I have quite severe anxiety which can prevent me functioning normally, even when on my medication. (which I've been on for 6 years) For me, it makes my brain think in chaotic, unordered and hypochondriac ways, plus I have ocd related issues pertaining to dirt, sleep and food, which can take up quite a lot of time in my day. I have massive anxieties about suffering and failing, especially with uni finishing abruptly. I'm not ready to move on with that, but I intend to turn those feelings into writing. (that's often what I do)
I don't feel I have failed on this account, I am grateful to have a following and I just feel a bit grim that I don't always live up to your expectations, whether that's through being unable to write content or the actual content itself. It was a bit irresponsible of me to open requests, but I genuinely did not expect the volume of requests I have received and its overwhelmed me massively! I never imagined that anybody would enjoy or find joy in my writing, so I hope that being able to invest some time back into this website will rectify that!
On top of my learning difficulties, dyslexia and dyscalculia, and a processing disorder it turns out I was born with, (I can't take in certain amounts of info, which often makes it difficult for me to follow a narrative, as an example) the anxiety is quite a challenge. I try not to bring that into everyday tasks, but they make up my everyday life so it's kinda difficult. Seeing my friends regularly was helping with that, but of course, due to current events it isn't possible for me to see my friends at the moment.
Obviously this quarantine is good in a way, because I don't have to deal with travelling anywhere anymore on public transport or any of the other outside related anxieties. However, I am still a key worker in a supermarket, so my weekends are taken up by that and leave me socially and physically exhausted, often for a few days. It is also worrying me that I am having contact with lots of people and then coming back to my household, despite taking necessary precautions.
ALL of this being said, though, it is nice to know I'm starting to have more time to work on writing. each and every one of your requests has been started, but has been lying around on a USB just waiting for me to come and work them out. I genuinely miss becoming involved in these stories and I still have loads of new ideas/half written stuff in my notes.
It feels better to get some of this down, as I really owe you all an apology, especially to the people who have requested and heard nothing as of yet.
Stay safe everyone, a million thank yous, it means so much to me to feel good about something. I hope to make you all happy again soon, starting with requests 😊