The last time he spoke to Nie Mingjue, it didn't end well.

Nie Mingjue is more of an acquaintance to him rather than a friend, considering he is Nie Huaisang's older brother and the man has nothing to do with him.

Yes, he was thankful when he and Alver was allowed to hide in Qinghe away from the Wens and offered them refuge. But that was it.

And when Nie Mingjue was one of the core members who participated in the siege against Wei Ying, his impression of him only further deteriorated.

So when Nie Huaisang had called him at night when he was about to go to sleep, Cale cursed out loud in the dark room he is in.

What now, where is that buff and angry man that is similar to Tunka go?

How is it so easy for that big guy to be in the brink of qi deviating?

"What will you do, gege?"

When Cale looks at Xue Yang, he immediately averts his eyes then.

"I don't see the need to help him."

He shrugs away the guilt that was slowly starting to gnaw him inside.

He does not want to associate himself with the outside world any more longer.

"It was Jin Guangyao."

The moment he heard that name come out from Xue Yang, the redhead stilled.

"Gusu Lan have a purification music used to cleanse one's mind and soul. But he altered it to bring destruction to one's qi and meridians."

The guilt is slowly becoming visible in Cale's chest, a look of conflict flittered in his face.

"Why are you saying all of this only now?"

Cale had not meant to scowl at the younger, but he did.

"I..."

Xue Yang seemed to hesitate for a while when he saw the older's face, wondering if it's alright to impose his thoughts to someone like the redhead.

"I don't want you to regret again, gege."

Cale's scowl disappeared, showing a surprised expression then.

"When did I ever regret?"

The redhead asks, denying all the words of accusations he's receiving from the younger.

"...Back then, until the present, even now. Your face may not show anything most of the time, but your eyes do."

Eyes are the window of the soul, that phrase is true even for someone like Cale.

He wants to deny it all, but Cale found it hard to do so.

"...Leave."

He does not want to acknowledge those words at all.

Xue Yang stood still and stared at him for a long time.

Just then, he brings out a pile of paper and gave it to the older.

"What is this now?"

Cale does not have the choice but to hold it and look at the younger man.

"An autobiography? No...it's closer to a diary. Read it now or later, it's all up to you."

The redhead wonders who is the owner of it.

"Then, please excuse me. I will be waiting outside if you ever changed your mind."

Cale wants to tel him that he won't change his mind and never will, but he found it hard to speak out.

He wonders if his ignorance against Nie Mingjue is justified by his reasons.

When Cale was left all alone in his room, he looks down at the worn out book in his hands.

As he decides to open it to the first page after a while, the first thing he sees was the familiar and messy handwriting of Wei Ying whenever he is being overloaded with new ideas and inventions.

'Memories of the first'.

So it was his. Wei Ying is the sole person who would put a tacky title in the first page of something he's written.

As Cale flipped to the next page, his name was the first thing he saw at the uppermost part of the paper.

'Wei Xun, courtesy name Wei Xianghuan, does not exist in the previous world.'

Cale knew that fact for a long time now, and he couldmt help but hold back a smile when he sees the messy scribbles underneath.

'Bah! How boring! A life without gege is like living a life without Jiang Cheng and Shijie and Lan Zhan!'

When he turns the next pages, Cale could feel the emotions of the younger the more he reads his words.

'Mo Xuanyu is the child who sacrificed his soul and gave his body to me.'

The more he reads, the stronger the emotions he could feel.

'Urgh, just the thought of it makes me want to hurl. Gege says that no child should experience hardship that was made by adults, and I stand by his words of wisdom.'

Cale could only scoff to himself before turning another page.

'Wen Ning was supposed to be the one I turn into a conscious fierce corpse, not Xue Yang. I don't know what to feel.'

That's...a new information.

Cale does not notice that he turns every worn out page much faster the more he sees something he does not know of.

'Xue Yang was supposed to be originally allied with Jin Guangyao, but his fate changed when gege intervened with it.'

'Jin Zixuan was supposed to be the one who died instead of Zewu-jun.'

'It was supposed to be Wen Ning who went berserk instead of Xue Yang, but it was still Su Shit who used demonic cultivation to frame me.'

The continuous onslaught of information made Cale's head throb in ache, sweat starting to gather on his temples as his record ability continued to be used.

But still, he read and turned every page there is in the journal until it all stopped.

All that's left are blank pages that remained still.

That is, until he sees a handwriting at the farthest end of the page that belonged to Xue Yang himself.

'It was Jin Guangyao who will make Sect Leader Nie qi deviate, and Nie Mingjue will run amok from madness and will stab Nie Huaisang.'

At that point, Cale's blood ran cold.

He could fell his own sweat turning cold and soon dampen his clothing making it heavy and sag, his breaths becoming shorter and shorter as a thousand thoughts ran in his mind.

Cale felt nauseous.

His ignorance to the current affair? Justified?

It was all bullshit to pamper his own ego.

He stands up despite feeling lightheaded, he slams the door open to see Xue Yang waiting for him as he always did.

"Stay here."

But contrary to what the younger had expected, he's telling him to stay still.

"Noㅡ"

"Stay...here."

Cale's eyes were akin to having a firm resolve and his tone is too stern for him to ignore, making Xue Yang hesitate to voice out his opinion.

"If...gege says so."

Xue Yang still do not have the courage to say no to him, nor will he ever be.

It has always been like that.

"Where did he go?"

He hears a familiar voice after a while, failing to notice that the redhead had already been gone and was replaced by the presence of Xiao Xingchen in front of him.

"...Qinghe Nie."

When Cale opens his eyes, everything was in chaos.

The elders of Qinghe doing their best to contain their Sect Leader who was running mad is the first sight that welcomed him.

"Da-ge! Snap out of it!"

Nie Mingjue simply bellowed like a beast as he waved his saber around, injuring Nie Huaisang in the process as he kneels in pain.

Cale's thoughts went blank.

"Da-ge!"

Brotherly love is something that touched the deepest of Cale's heartstrings, considering he experienced it in all of his three lives.

Perhaps this is why it slipped out of Cale's mind and used his own body to shield Nie Huaisang from the saber of his own brother.

This time, Nie Huaisang was no longer screaming da-ge, but...

"...Gege!"

Cale felt numb, he didn't feel any pain despite being stabbed straight through his heart.

He does not feel anything even when his sight is becoming blurry as he simply scoffed to himself.

"You...don't have the right...to die...survive...survive and atone..."

Cale felt himself going insane.

He felt like he was telling those words to himself, and not to Nie Mingjue.

"Xiaoㅡ"

The one who he was supposed to call is Xiao Wang, but what surprised him is that it was Xiao Xingchen who appeared, an expression of horror plastered in his face.

Nie Mingjue tumbled down from the kick he received from Xiao Xingchen, making his hold on the hilt of his saber disappear as Cale fell on the floor.

"Wei Xun!"

His blood continued to seep out as he trembled, the pain slowly becoming known as he grunted.

After dying so many times, he still couldn't get used to the feeling of it.

Was he...supposed to get used to it?

Xiao Xingchen settles his head against his own shoulders, making Cale inhale his comforting scent and held him like he was the most precious in the world.

It brought a gnawing feeling in Cale's chest.

Xiao Xingchen's hold felt similar to Madam Yu and Sect Leader Jiang, making the redhead lull into slumber.

"Wake up...stay awake, Wei Xun."

"...Gege!"

He could feel another pair of hands hold him from behind, making the redhead breath out a sigh of relief.

"...Huai...sang..."

He could feel how warm the younger's hands are against his own cold hands, his breath stuttering.

He's glad that he's okay.

"Call...him...call...Xiao..."

Nie Huaisang didn't wait for another second and bellowed Xiao Wang's name.

"Xiao Wang!"

At the same time, Nie Mingjue started running rampant again like a beast who senses danger.

Before Nie Mingjue could attack them again, Xiao Xingchen put up a defensive barrier around the three of them as he gritted his teeth.

Just then, Xiao Xingchen felt shivers run down from his spine as he looks at the man in front of them.

"That is quite enough."

Xiao Xingchen felt like he was looking at death himself.

GPS traumatized members +1
Author's note:
Sorry if I reply a little late to all your comments, I've been sleeping most of the time as a coping mechanism, I hope you all understand ^^