Silky black hair framed the young boys face. His dark blue eyes scanned coldy his surroundings while a scowl was rested on his face. His kinglike presence flowding the court as soon as he stepped on it.

Intimidating. A word that would describe him perfectly. Just as short tempered, arrogant and sullen.

All these judging stares just saw the scary setter, the tyrant with zero social skills who always wears an angry expression. Scowling he stared at everything. Telling you just by a look that he is better than you. His mind is full of Volleyball and nothing else. He didn't need anything else. He didn't need anyONE else. He needed nobody. He rather did everything on his own. A great facade he kept since his second year of middleschool.

But Kyotani ... Kyotani saw everything that was beneath this mask.

He saw his wonderful smile.

He saw the sparkle in the dark blue eyes.

He heard his loud, childlike laugh.

He heard his soft and nice words.

He heard how excited the younger boy talked about Volleyball or the new piano play he learned.

He felt his gentle hugs and cuddles.

He saw his good side. His youthful side. The side the setter hid from everybody.

If anyone would know about this they would probably say that he was lucky to see this side.

He was special.

The blue eyed boy trusted him, felt comfortable enough to let down his walls.

A good thing, right?!

It usually was, indeed, a good thing.

But you're forgetting an important aspect.

Letting down his walls didnt just mean revealing the child he buried beneath anger and rage. It also meant revealing his pain. His insecurities. His fragile and broken side.

Letting down his walls meant that there were two possible outcomes.

The first, positive, one: They would spend hours together, cuddling, cooking, watching movies. The younger boy would talk to him about everything without a care for the world. A smile permanently on his face. If they were at the setters house, the black haired boy would play the piano and the second year would watch him, a small smile on his face.

The second outcome was different...

The setter would cry, scream, break down... and Kyotani... Kyotani couldn't do anything else than holding the younger boy and whisper soothing words, shielding him from the outside world. Kageyama would hug him thight while asking over and over again if he was a bad person, if he deserved all what had happend. It was horrible. It broke the spikers heart and raised his rage even more. Everytime it happend, Kyotani felt like punching some specific former senpais and teammates; and especially a specific middle school coach. But he knew it wouldn't solve anything. It wouldn't help at all. And instead of planning murders, he needed to focus on his friend. His friend who broke down atleast twice a month because of ... everything. His friend who felt like he wasn't good enough. His friend who believed he was a bad person. His friend who not only had to bury his grandfather, but also himself. He had to put down the child in him, push it into the depths of his consciousness and grow up. He buried the child inside of him and payed the price for that. Kyotani knew that Kageyama didn't had any choice, he needed to become an adult at an age were you usually live your life. At an age where your biggest problem should be the upcoming exams, not bills and paychecks.

Kageyama knew the outcome from suppressing the child he was. He had felt the consequences in more then one way. And he knew that it was unhealthy but you can't just stop a habit. You can't just stop something as sudden as you started it. Well, that was a lie. He could. He could stop. Just like he did it everytime he was with Kentaro. But ... he didn't wanted to. He couldn't. He started to associated the child he was deep down with weakness and pain. 'Cause that's what he felt everytime he let his walls down and showed his true side. And he hated that. He didn't want to be weak, or in pain.

„If you want to be the last one standing, become strong." Be strong. That's what he had said to Hinata once. In association with Volleyball. But it wasn't just about Volleyball. You have to be strong in life aswell, to move forward, to be not eaten alive.

In conclusion, his walls stayed and the child remained in the depths of himself, like a prisoner behind iron bars.

~°~°~

Kageyama only let down his walls infront of Kyotani. Even Miwa, his sister, has never seen this fragile side. The raven let down his walls when he felt safe, when nobody but Kyotani was watching. The older boy knew how difficult and ... damaging it was.

And now he had to see how the setter along with his walls broke down.

They collapsed, revealing everything the raven had tried to hid so well.

Kageyama cried, screamed. His heart broke once again.

The opposite hitter ran passed everyone, ignoring the calls from his coach and teammates.

He pushed his way through the crows and kneeled down infront of him.

„Shhh, Tobs. It's okay, I'm here." He hugged the younger boy tightly.

„Make it stop. I don't want this. Please, make it all stop."

„I know, I know." Out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the karasuno players walking towards them. The last thing they needed now was a teammate who thought he understand, who offered a helping hand but will never be able to know the pain the setter went through.

„Touch him and you will never EVER be able to play again." Threatening he looked at the other players, pressing Kageyama closer to his chest.

„Ken... I – I don't want this anymore." The setter clutched his fist into the fabric of the blue-white jersey while burying his face into his friends chest. „I don't want this crown. I don't want this mask. I don't ... want to have to be strong."

„Please, I – I want my grandpa!" It was just a whisper but Kyotani still heard it.

„Why do I deserve this? Do I deserve this? Please, somebody tell me if I deserve this! Please, please, PLEASE!" Kageyamas voice grew louder and louder while tears streamed down his face.

More then one heart broke this time. 

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I hope you liked this 

Thanks for reading :) 

Disclaimer: The art used doesn't belong to me, both pictures were found on Pinterest and the credits go to their artist!!