Tears, tears, tears.

What are tears?

Some say they occur when our soul has been so hurt it bleeds.

Some say it's our soul crying, screaming and begging to stop.

But what if it happens when you heart aches, mind Is going in a million directions, and your feeling frustrated and angry?

Chuuya could feel tears streaming down his face effortlessly, which reminded him of that night.
Nobody has ever had made chuuya even come close to crying, how could dazai do it without even trying.

Chuuya wanted to say something, to atleast confront dazai as to why he left, but he couldn't get himself to say anything.

He felt like he was being ripped, inside out, piece by piece. He wanted it to stop. Just to simply stop, he wanted to forget all this.

That's when he remembered something he had done years ago that made him forget everything. He thought he would obviously never do it again, but times change.

He stepped into the bathroom, looked around and grabbed something, something hidden from the annoying eyes of the world, something dug inside his heart, and everytime he saw it, the object stabbed him like a chipped knife.

He took it and slid it, slid and slid and slid then watched as the crimson liquid dripped on the floor. He would worry about the marks some other time. For now He just wanted to survive, to find even a sliver of hope, a reason for him to continue this.

T I M E   S K I P

Chuuya woke up to sore eyes, an aching body, and a migraine plummeting his head. It was way too bad for chuuya to just ignore like he always did, so he gave a call to Mori and took a day off, he was surprised that Mori had noticed that his voice was different since he was good at concealing it, but at least he got some much needed rest.

Dazai had gotten back from the mission, and surprisingly everybody at the agency had already left. There were usually at least 2 to 3 people still working, just to check he entered the surgerical room, he was curious to whether yosano was still there, and boringly, she was.

"Hey yosano" dazai said, looking behind her, at her table of chemicals and he suddenly felt uneasy.

"Dazai? You're still here? Thought you'd left long ago." Akiko wasn't lying, she genuinely was surprised seeing dazai, out of everybody, to be here this late.

"Care to help me out a little? Just cleaning up y'know" akiko soon noticed how worn out dazai looked, and felt a shot of guilt down her throat, but it was washed away when dazai agreed.

"Mhm, sure, what chemicals are those by the way? Are they lethal?" Dazai sounded curious, but akiko knew all too well of his intentions.

"Nope. Just a few paralyzing dotes, making some for instances in which we are all in danger, just shoot 'em up a dot gun and boom! Got guns that paralyze enemies!" Akiko wasn't all about lies, the gun part was true, but the dotes could do a lot more than just paralyze the enemy.

Dazai and akiko soon got to cleaning, there was a silence between them, which flickered whenever one dropped something, or in dazai's case, tripped.

"Hey, yosano, I was wondering...." dazai started, he really didn't know what way to go about this.

"Yeah?" Now this got akiko a little invested.

"Have you ever messed up? Like trying to tell somebody something but it going the other way...? Like you really want this person to understand, to know, but..... it just.... isn't happening?" Dazai trailed off.

"No..., I don't think so....., but what are you talking about anyways?" Akiko's intrest soon turned into concern for the brunete, cause as far as she remembers, dazai wasn't the one to talk about things like this.

"Nevermind" dazai just left it at that, and akiko getting the hint, left him without any further inquiries.

Chuuya was striding off to the park nearest his house, where the Sakura blossoms had bloomed, he was always one of the people who loved flowers, they clamed him down, and most of all, dazai once gave him Sakura flowers for his birthday, he had never actually thanked him.

He slid through an opening most people barely noticed, to the other side which was basically just another big Sakura tree, but with a bench directly under it, the difference was, no other people ever came there, it was just him and his favorite Sakura tree, sitting under the shedding leaves, in the perfect atmosphere.

He clicked open his phone, to go to listen to his Playlist he had created, he looked down, 1:11p.m 'cool' He thought.l

He loved it when he was alone, but, was he?