Well, one of the things I've learned on Wattpad is that women are very eager on reading about sex. Don't get me wrong, I kind of like the fact that "Fifty Shades of Grey" and apparently Wattpad have taken away the guilt and shame women used to feel when enjoying this kind of things but some of us have taken it to the next level. We crave reading about how it's done, which angle, which hole (forgive my crudeness), which position, with which tool or not.

The location is very significant as well. I mean I've read lots of shower sex scenes to be honest. All quite misleading by the way because all writers make it out to be the safest way to have sex but it is sooo not. No, it's not easy for your partner to lift you up, hold you against the shower wall and penetrate you, rubbing your clit, kissing you all at the same time and having the water cascading down their face or back while all of this is taking place. This should definitely come with a warning DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. That shower floor is slippery shit man. Hubby's back hurting for the past month so I speak from experience.

Another thing I've learned is that evidently most women swallow and it doesn't taste that bad, and they don't feel the need to gag. Like all women were designed for that and they are meant to enjoy it. Like eating a protein bar but you don't have to buy it. It's right there. Like you have your own personal factory.  I feel so inadequate.  Fiction is fiction though, isn't it?  So I guess people in their creative modes are entitled to some sort of imagination so let's leave it at that.

Thirteen-year-olds know a looooot about sex. You read this explicit, very detailed sex scene almost taking notes in order to apply some of the certain techniques with your partner when the opportunity presents itself and then there's a comment of the author's friend telling her to meet at the cafeteria at lunchtime. You then you go to their profile page and realise that the author is a thirteen-year-old girl who just knows quite a lot about blowjobs and other intimate stuff I'd rather not name right now. That did not happen back in the day. When I was thirteen I was sooooooo clueless. Perhaps I thought you'd get pregnant by kissing someone lol. I would blush like a tomato when my crush would even look at me. Now you know exactly how to give someone a successful handjob at that age and if you don't you can always read a chapter on Wattpad.

There's another issue that concerns me. The back scratching during sex.  Some describe it as a way to show your partner he is pleasuring you. Others put so much attention to it's worrying me. So should we do like this?

Or like this?

I am so confused. Is it like compulsory? Should I trim my nails?

And the hair thing. How hard should we pull the hair? Like until he hear a complaint?

And the dirty talk? I mean ... how dirty and how much? You know what? Let's not even go there.

There are these readers that will not even touch your story until it's labeled Mature but then again Wattpad won't rank it then for the same reason. I mean wtf man? Life is unfair.

Then again you sneak a sex scene in without labeling the book mature and pray it remains unnoticed by the headquarter squad and you realise that readers skip to that part only. They don't give a fuck that you've spent a blooding lifetime, developing characters, paying attention to detail, building a damn storyline. Well, what can I do?

And the sex comments from your beautiful, adorable readers follow when the couple is taking things slow.

FUCK ALREADY!!!

GIVE HIM SOME OF THAT P* BITCH!

I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS SHIT. Put your c* in her hole.

Yes, they are opinionated like that, god I love them so!

Oh, and something else I almost forgot entirely. Where I come from you date, kiss, label the relationship and then make love. Here things don't go quite like this. Just the order is a bit different and the terminology. You kiss, you fuck, you wonder what the hell you are, then you fuck some more and then you label the relationship. Just a tiny bit different. Again at forty-one I'm confused. Have I done things wrongly?

And finally the spanking. Huge confusion there as well. One of my students got his ass kicked by his girlfriend (he is 18 don't call child services yet) because he spanked his girlfriend while having sex and she stopped in the middle of it turned and slapped him repeatedly (overheard him talking to his friends. Despite your doubtful looks I am not a weirdo. Yet.) One of his female friends read on Wattpad that girls like it and he tried it. What he didn't know was that she liked to reciprocate ...on his face.

Got to go people.

Until next time

Filia xxxxx

P.S Apparently vaginas can be punched too styles_orama :))))))