Hah

I got triggered yesterday

I'm not talking about the joke triggers, I legit do have a trigger that makes me have a full on panic attack.

Tbh mine is probably reasonable...

When someone close to me or whom I care for deelly starts yelling in a serious tone, which does not have to be directed at me, I get a panic attack.

Example,
Bf gets into a fight.

T r i g g e r e d

As for why I have this trigger, its a long story and I rlly need to get it off my chest so bear with me.

Pretty much started when I was younger, elementary age.

I grew up without my dad in my life, he was only home for a couple of weeks then gone for a couple of months.

So me and my mother never got along, I was highly timid and shy when I was little. I couldn't stand large crowds or loud noises. I used to cry a lot as well, but my mother wouldn't let me.

Whenever I cried she'd start yelling at me, and or would break someing or even hit me at times.

This happened all throughout my childhood, exept when my dad was around.

I know my childhood probably isn't as bad as others, but I didn't have anyone to go to.

I was scared to go to anyone for help, because they'd leave...

So yeah.

So nice to finally get that out

Tbh like i said i couldn't go to anyone, so i dont really talk about my childhood to people.

THAT'S ALL