January, 2019

Three months have passed since my first meeting with Hudson happened. Over the last couple of months, he and I have been calling almost every night. Whether that was academic related or band related, I couldn't help but fall for him even more. I could have sworn he liked me, but I guess I was too naïve during this time. Even my friends saw signs that he did. Or so I thought. Truth is, there is always a pretty face with an ugly heart. I remember for weeks, he would ask me for hugs or wanted to meet up on campus before our classes began. Many of his friends saw me when we were talking and at that point, I wanted to hold him to let the other guys back off so they would not steal me. Let's just say a lot of guys liked me back in the day and still do. But at the same time, there was something different about him I could not put my finger on. It was towards the end of the fall semester that I realized the difference between him and I over a phone call.

"Taylor, now that I have played multiple selections of my favorite band, do you want me to test you on them?" Hudson asked.

 "Test? What do you mean test? I am not your student. " I replied back confused. 

"Yes, but I want you to expand your musical taste." Hudson replied back with a soft laugh.

Musical taste? I thought. What's wrong with my musical taste?  Orchestral music is the best type of music by far and he's testing me on metal music? I was clearly confused throughout this entire call. Why should I be tested when I have known music my entire life? Or at least, the orchestral part of it?

"Hudson, this needs to stop. I don't understand why my musical taste should be expand. I am happy with what I listen to and I am happy with staying in my comfort zone." I almost snapped.

"Well you see, orchestral music is not exactly the best kind of music. Trust me, I know because both of my siblings were in it for quite some time." Hudson said back.

"So? People have different tastes. You like metal and I don't. I am more emotional when it comes to music, you are not." I replied back.

"Yes, but I want your knowledge to expand. Go to concerts or even just listen to AC/DC on YouTube." Hudson replied back.

"No. AC/DC isn't my forte. I prefer movie soundtracks over any sort of genre. I listen to them during school work and on the way to get to campus." I snapped. 

"Well clearly, you are not qualified to be a musician." Hudson snapped back as he realized what just happened. He hesitated and the line was quiet for a few minutes. 

Not qualified  as a musician? What did he mean?  I was shocked at this point. Just because I know more about movie soundtracks than most people, that shows I am not qualified to be a musician? 

"Y-you d-don't m-mean that, Hudson." I said almost in tears. My mouth went dry as I was still shocked over what he said to me. 

"Yes I do. How could you qualify yourself as a musician when your music taste is very bland?" Hudson asked. 

"Stop. You're lying to me. You don't mean that." I said, choking on my tears. 

"Taylor, I do. Now can we move on the next cover I will perform for you?" Hudson asked, ignoring my feelings.

"No. I don't want to. I am sick and tired of the quizzes you are giving me. I am sick and tired of hearing you play music I don't even like. I won't listen to anything you play for me because that is not who I am!" I cried.

"Taylor, you must realize that I am quite sarcastic at times. Half of it I don't mean it." Hudson said with a slight laugh.

"Shut up, Hudson. You hurt my feelings. You hurt my feelings as a musician. So I should just give up on my violin and move into metal music? Is that it?" I asked with tears in my eyes. Thank goodness he didn't see my face. 

"What? No, that's not what I mean. You can still perform. I just want you to expand on your music tastes." Hudson replied back.

"Why should I believe you? You want to know something, Hudson? I like you. I like you a lot! This has nothing to do with music, but I wanted that off of my chest because I have felt this way since the minute I saw you." I said out loud over the phone. 

"Taylor, I am not exactly surprised. From the time you asked for my number, I knew you had a crush on me. That takes a lots of guts to do. Even as a guy, that is quote difficult." Hudson said softly. 

"W-well, n-now you know." I stuttered with my voice breaking. 

"I am proud of you. Look, it's getting late. I'll see you tomorrow." Hudson said. 

And with that, he hung up. I was shocked, hurt, and in disbelief. I put my phone next to my side table and cried myself to sleep that night.

The following day

I walked into my Physical Geology class thinking that I would be okay for the lecture. But all I could think about was telling Samantha that I liked her brother. She had talked to him over the weekend and told me the news I had not been waiting for. 

"Samantha, can I talk to you in private?" I asked.

"Sure, Taylor." She replied back.

We walked outside of the classroom so we could talk for a few minutes. This was it. This was the moment I would tell Samantha about my feelings for him. 

"Samantha, I like your brother. A lot. I've liked him since the day we met three months ago." I confessed. 

"Taylor, I figured. He told me over the weekend and I had asked him if he felt the same way as you. Truth is, he doesn't and I am sorry." Samantha said with a somber look.

I knew it. I knew this was going to happen, but I still acted surprised because I could have sworn I saw signs of him liking me. But I was in denial. Again. I thought to myself. 

"O-oh...I see. Um..." I didn't know what to say to her. 

"I really am sorry, Taylor. Are you sure you're able to come into class?" Samantha asked as she held my hand. 

I pulled away from her with tears in my eyes. 

"No, I can manage." I said with a face full of tears. 

My professor came outside to see what was going on and noticed I was in tears. She asked if I was okay and I basically told her that school was stressing me out. That was an entire lie. Samantha looked at me and we went back into class. I sat in the back row still in shock of what had just happened. I knew things were not the greatest between Hudson and I. He really was not Mr. Nice Guy.