CN/TW: Self harm, cutting

Cecily was napping in Mina's armchair in the living room when Mina and Albus came home in the late afternoon. It was already getting dark outside which made the cottage seem even more cosy. They smiled and carefully put the book Cecily was still holding on the coffee table. She must have fallen asleep while reading it. Cecily looked straight up angelic, a lock of her strawberry blonde hair had fallen into her face and moved with every breath she took, her cheeks were a little flushed because the room was warm and for once, her facial features were almost entirely relaxed.
"Your daughter is just as beautiful as you are." Albus whispered and Mina blushed. She loved how he called Cecily her daughter. That's how Mina felt about the girl. "And she's smart too. I think she's going to be just fine with some help from us." Mina just nodded and carefully put a blanket over Cecily. The little girl moved a little but just snuggled deeper into the cozy armchair. She looked so fragile and vulnerable, both Mina and Albus knew that they would protect her with their lives if they had to. They loved her fiercely.
"Let's make tea" Albus said quietly and they went into the kitchen, they didn't want to wake Cecily or pressure her. She should come and hopefully speak to them on her own terms. Soon after they had prepared tea and sat down, enjoying some biscuits, Mina felt two little arms wrapping around her shoulders from behind and a head laying down on her shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat, Cecily being all cuddly and tactile was not something that happened every day.
"Hello sweetheart." She said softly and put her hands on Cecily's. "I'm so glad to have you home again." Cecily cuddled up to her a little more and whispered a quiet "Hi." Albus, who was watching the scene unfold, smiled warmly. This looked rather promising and he was confident that with good communication, they would have a chance to make a brand new start and get Cecily on the road to recovery.
"We missed you here." Albus poured her a cup of tea and offered her a biscuit, but Cecily shook her head, she wasn't really hungry. Being unhappy made her lose her appetite and as she was unhappy a lot, she was almost dangerously skinny.
"I'm like... really sorry I ran off." She said awkwardly and stared at the table, still not ready to let go of Mina. She wanted to never let go of her, Mina was her rock. Her mum, not by blood but by heart, mind and spirit.
"That's all over now. We are moving on." Mina reassured her and Albus agreed. They wanted to offer Cecily a clean slate so she wouldn't have to worry about anything.
"We just want you back. Especially as the baby is due in a few months and until then we want to spend some extra time with you, because you're important to us. We are your forever family and we want you to be happy and settled with us. So does some extra time, one-on-one and as a family sound good?" Albus looked at her. What Mina had proposed was of great importance for both of them and he sincerely hoped that Cecily would like their idea.
"I'd love that. As a family, that sounds great. So, so great." Cecily replied in a small voice. When they did nice things for her, she felt so special. It almost felt like they were one of those families you'd see on posters and in commercials. Happy and loving.
"How about you come home to us every weekend until baby comes then? Stay over night, Pancakes, hair brushing, everything you like." Cecily shrugged. She liked spending time with them, but she was worried about standing out even more than she already did and on the weekends she usually did stuff with Eva. She was worried that her friend would be lonely or even worse, that she would find other friends and leave her if she was gone every weekend.
"Can Eva come sometimes? She's my best friend, you know? We usually hang out and do homework and I promise she knows how to behave."
"Of course she can come, remember, we're always happy to have your friends over." Mina squeezed her hand. "She can come whenever you two like." She was so excited that her daughter had a friend and that they cared about each other so much.
"Isn't her father one of the ministry's ambassadors?" Albus asked and Cecily nodded. Mina rolled her eyes, why did it always take so long for him to put two and two together? Good thing that Mina had engineered that meeting on the train a few weeks back. "I think I know him then, and his wife too. They are lovely people."
"It's your friend Alexander's daughter." Mina reminded him and finally Albus realised what should have been blatantly obvious. He shook his head in disbelief, thank goodness his partner was more observant than he was. Cecily thankfully didn't notice how stupid he currently felt, she was now happily chatting away about her friend and her family, who, at least to her, were the most interesting people in the world.
"Did you know Eva has a younger brother and sister? They are twins and they are really cheeky. Eva always tells me about them." Mina smiled, she knew about them but seeing her daughter so happy made her happy too. "And they lived in America, can you believe it? That is so far away. I didn't even know there were people like us over there..."
"Maybe she can tell us some stories over dinner on Saturday?" Albus took out a quill and marked the calendar they had in the kitchen, he wanted to show Cecily that they were taking her friends and get togethers just as seriously as their own.
"I'll ask her." She said. Mina looked at  Cecily's arms. Right now they were covered by her sleeves, but the thought that Cecily was cutting herself, that these already thin arms were getting even more hurt, made Mina very sad and worried, so she decided that it was Cecily's turn for a hug now.
"You give great hugs darling, but now let me give you one, how about that." Cecily let go, even though she didn't really want to, and Mina turned in her chair, giving her a big hug. Cecily cuddled up to her as much as her belly allowed, which was getting bigger and bigger but they didn't mind. Cecily usually wasn't much of a tactile person, only if the circumstances were right, also she liked the thought of being close to the baby. Albus cleared his throat.
"Cecily, we really don't want to put pressure on you, but how about we get you an appointment at that special doctor we talked about sooner than summer? We feel like there's so much going on..." She looked at him and her eyes went a little cold. Mina felt how Cecily's whole body stiffened and she mentally prepared for another outburst. Good job, Albus, he really was the master of finding just the right moment to address things. Not.
"So you think I am broken and you want me to be fixed before keeping me?" Cecily snapped. She didn't even know where that came from, she felt sorry immediately and ducked in case he'd lash out. She was hurt, yes, but she wanted to make things better and she knew that they wanted what was best for her. Albus didn't lash out, of course not, he just smiled his usual smile and shook his head. Cecily didn't quite understand how neither Albus nor Mina ever seemed to get angry, yell or hurt someone. Was this the new normal?
"Not at all." Albus said calmly. "We don't think you're broken or damaged and we love you, no matter what. We just think that you have been hurt badly and we don't know how to help you heal. It's hard to see your beloved child suffer the way you do, sometimes we feel a little helpless. So we want to get someone involved who can be there when we aren't enough. We want you to get all the help there is." Cecily welled up. Never in her life had someone cared for her that much. Beloved child... was she really their beloved child? Their actions most certainly said so.
"But you are enough." Cecily protested. "You say that you love me and nobody did that before. Nobody ever loved me before and don't you think that's enough to heal me?"
"Cecily, we need to get some professional help for you. We want you to stop hurting, the doctor can help you put all those demons and shadows in your mind to rest." Mina held her a little closer. No more nightmares. No more screams. No more panic attacks. Not because she was sick of dealing with these things, for Cecily she would deal with anything that life threw at them, she just wanted her to finally have a happy life.
"Fine. I'll meet your doctor." Cecily finally said. If both of them thought it would be a good idea, maybe it wouldn't be too bad.
Albus smiled. "We'll find one that you like and want to work with." He promised.
"Sure." Cecily just shrugged, she wasn't sure what to make of all this yet. She just knew that she never wanted to leave the Dumbledores ever. They soon switched to lighter topics of conversation, about school and the ministry and Cecily helped Mina in the kitchen, they made pumpkin soup, which was Cecily's favourite dinner.
After dinner, Cecily went upstairs early and Mina followed her. The whole cutting issue was still on her mind and while Albus had addressed it very clumsily, she agreed that it had to be talked about.
"Sweetheart, do you have a moment? Can we talk?" She asked quietly. Cecily turned around, why was Mina so serious all of a sudden?
"Sure." They went into Cecily's room and sat down on her bed. "What is it?" Mina looked her straight in the eyes.
"Albus thinks you cut yourself. Is that true?" Mina wasn't the kind of person to beat around the bush and from her daughter's reaction she could tell that this was right. Cecily looked away, she was a little ashamed that they knew about her little secret. "Might be, why are you asking?"
"Because that's something I worry about. May I see?" Cecily rolled up her sleeves before she could even think about it, as if she was on autopilot.
"There. Nothing spectacular. Just cuts." Mina carefully took her hand, she tried very hard not to show how shocked she was. Old scars, half healed cuts and new ones that were still raw and bleeding, Cecily's arms looked like a battlefield and they probably were in some way.
"That must have hurt you, Darling." Was all Mina could say, because what to something like this. The usually eloquent and quick-witted Minerva McGonagall was lost for words.
"Yeah I guess. It made things better though." Why was this such a big deal? It wasn't like Cecily was breaking anything important, right?
"How so?" Mina was curious to know and understand what was going on in her daughter's mind.
"After I punish myself I can move on. And I like the way how the pain in my arm drowns out all the other pain." She explained it as if it was the most simple and logical thing in the world, and at least for Cecily it was. Mina couldn't believe how she could be so casual about this. "Don't look so frightened, it's no big deal. Or are you grossed out from all the blood?" Cecily gave her a crooked grin, she tried to make the situation lighter. It was a little gross, that was true, but disgust and pain were only temporary. Mina shook her head.
"No. No darling." Her thoughts were racing. It wasn't a pretty sight at all,  but Mina didn't want Cecily to think that she was disgusted or scared. Then she had an idea. "I'm wondering whether it would be okay if mummy tried to kiss it better? Maybe that could help?" The grin disappeared from Cecily's face and suddenly she looked anxious.
"I think that might help. But why aren't you disgusted by all of this? The blood and the gore and everything. You have to be repulsed."
"I could never be repulsed by you, my darling. Now give me those arms and let me make it better" Cecily shyly rolled up her sleeves further, revealing more injuries and Mina kissed the scars and sang Cecily a silly little healing song her own mother used to sing to her when she had fallen as a child and scraped her knees. She knew that wouldn't fix the issues that caused all this, but she wanted Cecily to feel loved and accepted. When she looked up, she saw that Cecily was silently crying.
"Is everything okay, Darling?" Mina asked gently.
"Never let me go." Cecily whispered. "Please."
"Never." Mina promised. "You are my big girl." Cecily accepted it, for once without questioning Mina.
"I promise I'll make you proud." She said, pulling away her arms and covering them up again.
"You do every day. Pop and I are so proud of you, sweetheart."
"You're so kind to me, I still can't believe I'm not dreaming." Mina looked at her with that serious look she sometimes had, usually not wen speaking to Cecily but it seemed appropriate. It was time for Mina to open up just a little to show Cecily just how important she was.
"Listen" Mina said quietly. "9 months ago I thought I'd never have a family like this, be engaged, pregnant... And then getting a lovely girl like you on top, I can't believe how lucky I am. You make me so proud, so happy. Really." Cecily gave her a quick but genuine smile.
"I'm looking forward to meeting the baby, don't get me wrong. But I'm going to miss when it's just you and me." She blushed a little. "Because I really like spending time with you and feeling like I'm someone's favourite for once."
"I wouldn't give up our time for the world, love. It will change but it will never stop." That was a promise Mina fully intended to keep. "And do you want to know a secret?" Cecily nodded eagerly. "You're my favourite Cecily in the whole wide world." That made them both giggle and the atmosphere in the room was not as heavy anymore.
"And you are my favourite mum in the whole wide world." Cecily reached up and kissed her cheek. "Are you and Albus going to get married one day?" That question came out of the blue. Mina showed her the ring Albus had given her.
"We are. But why are you asking that now?" Cecily admired the ring, it was very pretty, he decided had taste.
"It's a lovely ring. I was just wondering because I don't really know, being Cecily Sunderland doesn't feel right anymore. I'm not one of them, I never was. But I'm not really one of you. Dunno, I'm not sure what I am or who I am or anything. And when you get married, you will probably all have the same name and I will be the odd one out, just like I always am." Cecily's face had clouded again, even such seemingly small issues had her fretting for days.
"Well, we haven't decided on names yet." Minerva reassured her. "We might double barrel. Both of us. And continue to be Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore at school. And you could be Cecily McGonagall-Dumbledore, if the Ministry agrees, of course."
"I would like that lots" Cecily said quietly. "I want to fit in for once in my life. I want to be just a normal girl with parents and a little sibling."
"And you can be just that, my darling. I will be your mum and do all the mum things that you want me to do." Cecily yawned. She was still so tired from all the emotional upheaval over the last few days that she really needed to rest.
"For tonight, can you tuck me in? I'm very, very tired." She asked Mina happily obliged. This felt so right. She wondered how her parents would react if they knew about Cecily, as they could be a little odd sometimes.

The next few days came and went, all rather uneventful. For the time being, Albus and Mina had decided to keep an even closer eye on Cecily and so she slept at home every night. They tried their best to keep sharp objects, needles and other harmful things out of her reach and even though they tried to be subtle so Cecily didn't feel watched, they made sure that she wasn't alone for longer than a few minutes.
For the time being, Cecily enjoyed the time with Mina and she loved it even more when Albus took the evening off to join them. The urge to hurt and punish herself was still there, but not as prevalent as before. On Saturday, Eva came to visit for a sleepover. Albus was very pleased the girls were friends, especially as her father had turned out to be his close friend Alexander. Being the daughter of a diplomat also meant that Eva would understand their need for discretion and privacy when it came to Cecily's issues and their home life in general. Albus was very worried about his family's safety. After all he had about as many enemies as he had admirers and he knew that some of them were dangerous. Mina and Cecily were vulnerable, they had no idea how risky it was to be associated with him. He knew it was selfish to drag them into this dangerous situation, into all the mess he had created which currently lay dormant but could come back at any time. He just couldn't imagine life without them. Without Mina, he'd tried and failed. He needed her so desperately. She was his first thought upon waking in the morning and his last thought at night. He didn't know how he'd gotten so lucky and the thought of something happening to her terrified him. Or worse, something happening to the baby or Cecily or all of them. He'd ramped up security around the house and had background checked all of Cecily's classmates. When thinking about it, it occurred to him that this probably had been a step too far, but you couldn't be careful enough. Better safe than sorry. Cecily was still in a very fragile and vulnerable state and he was worried someone could take advantage of her. He also worried about Mina giving birth and dying, Cecily falling off a broomstick and so on. But he knew that he couldn't keep Cecily from doing her thing so he uneasily accepted her wish to train for the quidditch try outs in spring. She reminded him of Mina. They were very alike, like mother like daughter, especially since Mina had started to get Cecily smaller versions of her own outfits. It looked adorable and Albus caught himself thinking about adopting Cecily instead of just having a long term foster placement. She fit in so well with them and it would be terribly unfair to make her leave one day. He looked upon her as a daughter anyway and she deserved to have the security of a proper family. But that wasn't all that easy, as the whole case about her family was still up in the air and the ministry hadn't been too happy about him just announcing that they were now fostering the girl. They had grudgingly accepted, but only because it had been the only viable option at the time. Albus was dealing with these issues alone, as he didn't want to stress Mina or frighten Cecily. He worried about her enough already, it pained him to see how set she was on destroying herself despite their efforts to help her.
One particular night, when they had already gone to bed, a sound woke him. He followed it and found Cecily in the kitchen warming a spoon over the residual heat from the oven, trying to burn herself with it. He'd gently lead her back to bed and she'd started crying, apologizing over and over again. He knew she couldn't really help it and that she wasn't defying them because she wanted to act up, but he grew more and more frustrated with himself and that he was out of his depth and couldn't fix things by himself.
The day after the burning incident, he'd brought in Dr. Bellevue for the first time. She'd been recommended to him as an expert on childhood trauma and she started working with Cecily immediately after he had explained the urgency of her case. It seemed to help and he was incredibly relieved. Albus was worried about how Cecily would take it when the baby was born and would need their attention. He knew that she loved being showered with positive attention and she deserved it. But the baby would need a lot of their time too. Difficult, he knew that, and yet he hoped for the best, for Cecily deserved nothing less.
Therapy had been good for Cecily, she liked Dr. Bellevue, who was a kind and understanding person. However, after a few weeks, Cecily seemed to notice something. As the fog in her head cleared, she started seeing things. First there were only shadows, but not the scary ones she knew. These felt different. Then, she started seeing people, often halfway hidden behind others, they were definitely not real as they were transparent and disappeared in the blink of an eye when they noticed her looking at them. It took weeks until one of them spoke to her, even though she craved answers and instinctively knew that neither her parents nor Dr. Bellevue would be able to tell her what she needed to know. But one afternoon in February, the little boy who regularly accompanied Dr. Bellevue to their sessions didn't disappear as he usually did when he noticed that Cecily was looking at him. He wasn't older than five, had brown hair and was wearing a blue ensemble.
"Why can you see me? Are you a soul-seer?" He asked. The words hadn't come out of his mouth, it was more like they had been projected directly into Cecily's mind.
"I don't know. I keep seeing you and others, I don't understand. Who are you?" Apparently he could hear what she was thinking because he replied immediately.
"I'm Frederick, or Freddie, I am Dr. Bellevue's son, I died from a werewolf attack when I was five, but my soul is still here. You must be a soul-seer, how wonderful, it's been ages since I met one of your kind."
Cecily smiled, but she still didn't understand. "My name is Cecily, it's nice to meet you, but I am afraid I still don't know what this is all about."
"I have to go soon, communicating is very draining for a small soul like me. Check the library, it will tell you all you need to know..." He seemed like he wanted to say more but he disappeared before he could add something. Now Cecily heard Dr. Bellevue who had been trying to talk to her for a while now.
"Cecily, can you hear me? You have been zoned out for almost five minutes."
"Yes, yes I'm here, I'm sorry." This was so weird. Was this real, or just another figment of her admittedly very broken imagination, playing with her now that the other shadows were almost gone. She knew that she had to tell Eva and go to the library as soon as possible. But first, it was time to work on her current issues with Dr. Bellevue, so that was what she did.