𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ; speak what's on your mind.

Xavier could spot a problem when he saw one.

The problem being that Hisirdoux was acting unusual and secretive with the others. It rang alarm bells inside Xavier's head when the boy started jumping or snapping randomly, keeping whatever thoughts he had to himself. Whenever he would ask Archie, the cat would only helplessly shrug.

Xavier had begun to speculate that maybe he had done something wrong to make Hisirdoux so secretive and shy. It was so rare to see someone spunky and loud to be so quiet and kept to themselves. It made his heart ache with worry, especially when everything was normal days before.

At the moment, he was working with Morgana while Hisirdoux remained with Merlin. During these types of days, they barely saw each other until night came, but by then, Hisirdoux would already be sleeping soundlessly before Xavier reached their room.

Xavier tried to gather the courage to ask as gently as he could, but he felt intrusive before the words would even form in his mouth. He turned his gaze to where Morgana was pointing at numerous spells, but he tuned her voice out ages ago, chewing on his lip as he tried to sort out his puzzled thoughts.

He snaps out of his trance when a book shuts in his face, almost jolting out of his seat as Morgana gives him a pointed look. "Is something on your mind, little lamb? You've been zoning in and out for an hour."

"It's nothing." Xavier sighs, rubbing his forehead.

Morgana places the book down, taking a seat beside the other and pressing her hand against his own. "You can tell me anything."

The young sorcerer pauses for a moment. "It's just about Hisirdoux." Xavier huffs, brushing pieces of his hair from his face. "He's being so quiet and secretive for the past few days, I don't know why."

Morgana frowns. "That sounds truly odd. It would also make sense since I barely walk upon any mess caused by him nowadays."

"I don't know what to do, Morgana." Xavier whispers solemnly, flicking bits of shaved wood across the table. He rests his chin on his palm, elbow digging into the wood.

"Speak to him." The sorceress answers casually. "It's the only way of figuring out what's wrong rather than standing and watching from a distance."

"Like he'll tell me." Xavier scoffs. "He barely utters a word."

"Hisirdoux is soft, especially for you." Morgana pitches in, a teasing smile on her lips. "He'll speak, he just needs a little nudge."

"I suppose." Xavier raised his head, replacing his frown into a small smile to ease the mood a little. "So...that invisibility spell you were talking about?"

Morgana laughed. "Yes, little lamb, the invisibility spell. So, you were listening just a little?"

The teen gives a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck. "I would feel bad about letting you talk to yourself for an hour straight." Morgana rolled her eyes, pulling the gold-laced book and flipping through the pages, unaware of the boy's lingering sadness and confusion that still remained.

Hisirdoux peered out from the open windows, where Morgana's quarters resided close by. He had never felt so guilt-ridden in his life before, and he despised the feeling greatly.

It was a massive weight on his shoulders, the feeling lodged in his throat made it hard to swallow whenever Xavier would quietly enter their bedroom at night after barely seeing each other during the day.

It pained him in ways he couldn't describe, but he thought, maybe it would be okay. He didn't want to make Xavier uncomfortable with how he felt towards the other, especially when he slept so often in Xavier's bed days before. They would get used to it, he would understand. But none of them did.

"You know," Archie proposes from the table. "You're going to have to speak to him eventually."

"I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable." Hisirdoux mutters. "It has only been a couple of days, but it already feels like everything's falling apart."

"You sound like some poetic sap, Douxie." Archie sighed, circling in front of him. The cat eventually steadies himself on his paws, adjusting his round glasses. "Ignoring Xavier is only hurting him, is that really what you wanted?"

"Of course not!" Hisirdoux whispers defensively, eyebrows knitting together in a mix of anger and sorrow. "I want to talk to him, I really do...but I think he doesn't want to speak to me now. I've ignored him for hours on end, I don't think he'll forgive and forget so easily, Arch."

"And all of this started because you won't admit you have formed some sort of crush on Xavier?" Archie rhetorically asks, ignoring Hisirdoux's huff. "Trust me, Douxie. He isn't uncomfortable. Just tell him, I'm sure he'll understand."

Hisirdoux brought his head down to the table, arms around him. Seconds later, he almost jumps out of his skin when a pile of books slam down in front of him, along with a harsh cough.

With a groan, Hisirdoux raised his head and looked to where Merlin stood, hand wrapped around his sacred staff. "What is with you today, Hisirdoux? All this groaning nonsense puzzles me."

"It's nothing, master." Hisirdoux mumbled, watching Merlin open multiple books at once with tired eyes. He stroked his beard, flying through the pages and opening drawers with his other hand. To see his master do all this at once was already tiring the other up, but his desire for magic never faltered.

They spent the next couple hours cooped up in one place, sat on a stool and learning the basics. Hisirdoux yearned for something more than children's magic, the kind false magicians would use to please the crowd. But at least, the boy thought, it was better than mopping the floors all day.

While mixing basic herbs and flowers, grinding them up into unrecognizable paste, he thought back to days before, where the sunset was so alluring after a vile storm that shook Camelot, and had to swallow the urge to kiss his best friend's lips.

He had tried to go over to Zoe's, a long time friend, to ask if 'hey, have you ever felt like kissing your best friend before? Asking for a friend.' but the idea seemed foolish and humiliating. The only reasonable idea was going straight to Xavier, solving the problem right there and then, but Hisirdoux wasn't ready for the avalanche of emotion to come with it.

"Are you even paying attention?" Merlin interrupts, grey eyes narrowed down on the teen.

"Sorry, master." Hisirdoux winces, playing with his fingers and brushing off the stern gaze. An angry Merlin was a force not to be reckoned with, especially when he was in a snappy, tired mood.

But Hisirdoux learned to not be afraid, ever since witnessing Morgana's own outrage by almost walking in on a heated argument between King Arthur and the sorceress. She was a thunderstorm compared to Merlin, venom on her tongue and fire in her eyes. It would be admirable for how she stood her ground if you weren't trembling in your shoes.

However, Morgana's anger always clashed with the motherly, maternal side of her. A side she kept reserved to herself, until she had met Xavier. They were attached by the hip in seconds, she adored him and some would mistake them for being related if it weren't for the scar. It was the type of relationship he yearned to have with Merlin.

Merlin sighs. "Clearly, your mind is not in the right place at the moment." He pushes the numerous amounts of books and parchments to the side. "And you don't work best when your mind isn't the way it should be. Go, you can take this chance as a day off. Perhaps I have been overworking you with these spells."

Hisirdoux bit his tongue, resisting the urge to say 'More like cleaning up after your failures' but with a tight nod, he stumbled out along with the shapeshifter quickly tailing behind. Hisirdoux did not want to walk past where he could hear Xavier's and Morgana's voices a mile away.

"You aren't going to stand here and avoid him all day, are you?" Archie asks, curling up on a stone fence. "That is the worse way to admit you like someone, Douxie."

"I don't like him." Hisirdoux bit back. "Not in that way, at least."

"Lying to yourself won't make it better."

"I am not lying." Hisirdoux mutters, eyes trained on the ground as he tried to tune out the shapeshifter's chatter.

"You slept beside him," Archie snorts. "Many, many times." Hisirdoux goes slightly red, scowling at the cat before walking across the pathway in front of them.

"Plus, you're good at making your emotions painfully obvious." Archie continues, bouncing off the fence gracefully. "It gives me second-hand embarrassment."

"Is this your way of helping me, Arch?" Hisirdoux gritted out through his teeth, glaring down at the shapeshifter. "Because it's not working."

"Maybe not, but Xavier's right there, maybe he can." Archie points a paw at where Morgana's door is wide open, the sorceress and her apprentice walking out as they quietly spoke to each other. Hisirdoux tensed up at the sight of him almost immediately, stumbling on his feet as he took an abrupt turn the opposite way.

Archie sighs, rolling his yellow eyes and running after the young wizard.

Xavier tilted his head, lips pursed as Zoe bickered about how she had pickpocketed a nosy, rich man behind his back. She held up a glimmering ring in her palm, a tiny diamond encrusted on the top, as well as a couple of copper coins.

"It's my finest catch yet!" She grinned, brown curls bouncing as she tossed the objects into a dark pouch, fastening it against her belt. "I could probably sell it for a couple hundred coins, probably buy a new spellbook from that old lady in the corner of the town."

"That's great..." Xavier smiles a little weakly, watching Zoe plop down on a rusting stool.

"So, where's my other idiot?" Zoe asks, sighing when Xavier raises an eyebrow questioningly. "I mean Hisirdoux, dumb-dumb. You two are the only one's I'll call my idiots."

The teen huffs at her smug expression, casting his gold eyes down to the ground. "How would I know?"

Zoe seemed stunned, eyes widening a little at the sudden attitude. She schools her expression to a neutral one. "Ouch, what happened between you two?"

"Nothing," Xavier replies bitterly, leaning back against the wall. "It doesn't matter anyways."

"Yes it does." Zoe corrected, standing to her feet to join beside the boy. "You two barely get into arguments, and if you're this mad, surely it matters."

The young sorcerer sighs, glancing over to the window where the sun began to set behind the crumbling walls surrounding them. "He's just ignoring me for no absolute reason. I'm not even sure if i've done something wrong."

"Douxie is a weird guy," Zoe chuckles, brushing her hair back. "He overthinks things and probably thinks he did something wrong."

"And how did you know that?"

"Had the same experience a while ago," The sorceress shrugs. "He ignored me because he thought he did something weird, never told me what it was though."

"So, what did you do to get him to talk?" Xavier interrupted, turning his body back to her.

"Cornered him in an alleyway." Zoe cackles, but falls quiet as Xavier makes a questionable expression. She rolled her eyes, slapping his shoulder. "Don't look at me like that, I had no other choice but to intimidate him."

"Well," Xavier mused, a small smile on his lips. "Thanks for the enlightening idea."

"Anything to help my favourite idiots."

"Instead of moping like that, could you at least give me a little salmon?"

Hisirdoux glanced down to where his feline companion was perched on the edge of the stone fence, licking its own paws. "Go get it yourself," Hisirdoux grumbled, pressing his face against the cold surface. He ignores Archie's attempt to bite his finger, and swats the shapeshifter away like a fly.

Archie hisses, flashing sharp canines before pouncing off to the ground. His tail curls as he walks back inside, and then there's silence for a brief moment. Hisirdoux lets out a relieved sigh, before there's a sound of glass crashing and objects being thrown around. The young wizard snaps up from his slouched position, furrowing his eyebrows and sliding inside.

"Seriously?!" Hisirdoux yelled, observing the shapeshifter attempt to bring down a bowl of leftover fish from the counter. "What are you doing, Arch!"

"You said I need to do it myself." The cat proclaimed, tearing the lid off the canned fish. "So, I'm doing it myself."

Hisirdoux facepalms, unable to form some sort of anger other than a grunt of frustration. He stomps out of the room and back into the night's chilly air, plopping down on a bench and crossing his arms like a petulant child.

"Can't believe him..." The wizard mutters, kicking at a rock and watching it tumble over the edge of the balcony. He ignores the yelp that comes from below, and the angry yelling that comes from it. His shoulders tense up a little, covering his mouth.

"Something's weighing on your mind."

Hisirdoux almost jumps out of his skin, twisting his head to the left where an unimpressed Xavier stood, leaning against a pillar.

"O━Oh, hey." Hisirdoux laughs, standing up and brushing his hands against his thighs in an attempt to stop sweating from nervousness. "I━I was actually heading to bed, it's little late, don't you thi━"

Just as Hisirdoux walked over to the door, Xavier slammed it shut with a twist of his hand, red sparks lighting his whole hand. There's a smile on his face that makes Hisirdoux shiver and realize ━ he's not going to get out of this one.

"Ha, yeah." Xavier shakes his head, the smile on his face falling almost immediately. "We're not going to do that today."

"Do what?"

Xavier raises an eyebrow like it's obvious. "Running away? Avoiding me? You won't even speak to me willingly." The teen's face switches to a more solemn, sad one. It makes Hisirdoux's heart ache and he actively tries to swallow the need to wrap him up in his arms and whisper a thousand apologies.

Xavier moves forward, so he's completely in Hisirdoux's view. "What did I do, Douxie? I need to know, please." His pale hand squeezes Hisirdoux's shoulder, and the wizard realized he was having trouble speaking when he's being gazed at by gold eyes.

"I━It's difficult to explain," He chokes out, staring down at the floor. He could hear Archie's snickering from behind the coloured windows and it only embarrassed him further. Xavier moves his hand to hold Hisirdoux's one in his own. The gesture is comforting in all sorts of ways, and it staves off the cold, dull feeling the wizard has felt in the past days.

"You can tell me anything."

"I can't, I'm sorry." Hisirdoux mumbles, his sight suddenly filling with tears that threaten to drip over the edge. "It's stupid. I was being stupid."

"You're anything but stupid, Douxie." Xavier laughs, a slight tremble in his voice. "You're my best friend, it hurts me to see you like this."

Best friend ━ a term that used to fit until it didn't.

He snaps out of his thoughts when a finger wipes away a lone tear from his cheek, and Hisirdoux instinctively reaches his own hand out to keep it there. Pretending as if everything were fine for the past couple days was torturous, and Hisirdoux wished he had taken Archie's advice earlier rather than conceal whatever feelings he developed. He hears Xavier giggle softly, move a little closer.

Dainty arms wrap around him, dragging him closer. Fingers thread through his unruly hair as Hisirdoux presses his face against Xavier's shoulder blade, exhaling quietly. This felt better compared to the nights by himself, either trying to do something productive or avoiding any type of contact to drive Xavier from his mind. But it never worked.

"I thought you would be mad at me." Hisirdoux stammered, clinging to him a little harder. "I ignored you for so long, for a stupid reason."

"You're just a big softie." Xavier murmured. "I can never stay mad at you."

They pull apart after a couple seconds, but Hisirdoux is persistent to keep him close and wrapped up in his grasp. He rests his chin on top of the sorcerer's head, refusing to budge despite the redness of his face.

"Do you want to go inside?"

Hisirdoux hums. "Not yet..."

Xavier says nothing but flashes a small smile, and they stay outside for what feels like hours. But the bitter sting of the cold nips at their skin and eventually, the dawn of winter drives them back inside.

"Marvellous to see you two worked out your issue," Archie purred, curled up in satin blankets. "Douxie here was a real pain in my butt for the past few days."

Xavier rolled his eyes, untying his hair from his top-knot and kicking off his shoes. The wizard had taken the liberty to light a fire, sparks crackling and sizzling as Hisirdoux threw in a couple logs. Both boys had stayed up longer than they anticipated, sitting around the fire as they threw blankets over each other.

They bicker and chatter for hours, until Hisirdoux's eyes begin to shut and they fall quiet. He's slowly rocking back and forth on a rustic chair, Archie curled up in his lap and purring. There's a smile on Xavier's lips as he walks over to dim the fire in front of them, and presses his two fingers together to put the flames of surrounding candles out.

The sorcerer slowly wraps Hisirdoux up, lifting his head to slide a pillow to rest his head on. The wizard stirs in his sleep a little, leaning into the touch for a brief moment. Something in Xavier's heart squeezes tight, a feeling of adoration he has felt many times after becoming Morgana's apprentice.

Hesitantly, he leans forward, just enough to press a light kiss to Hisirdoux's forehead. Red-faced, Xavier stumbles back to bed, contemplating his random surge of affection just as Hisirdoux smiles in his sleep.