Jan was unaware of her inner turmoil at breakfast; he presumed her uncharacteristic quietness was due to her sisters and their falling out.
“What do you plan to do today?” he asked chewing a piece of toast. He was working at midday; he wasn’t due to finish until midnight, and at the moment he intended to come back to her that night.
“I’m working at eleven, til nine. I was thinking then I’d call over to their hotel. Try again. It’s my last chance to sort this out Jan, if they leave, then...I think that would be it, all ties severed.”
“In that case...” he handed her a piece of paper, “I found out their hotel phone and room number, I’d leave a message if I were you?”
She leaned across and kissed his crumby lips, “what would I do without you?”
Grinning he pulled her onto his lap, “I’m coming back tonight, will you call me, let me know where you are?”
She nodded, “counting the hours!” Then left for her job.
Ellen left a message at the hotel at lunch time, figuring if her sisters wanted to catch up with her they had her mobile number anyway. So she threw herself into selling food, drink and souvenirs to a mixed bunch of locals and tourists. The day passed quickly, and as she left the shop at nine pm, she spotted her sisters sat outside a cafe along the street. Taking a deep breath she crossed to join them.
She recognised the waiter, already after just a week she was familiar with people and places.
“Hola, un cafe por favor?” The man nodded and smiled before disappearing back inside, Ellen made her way across the terrace to her sisters. They were both hidden behind sun hats and large shades, and the smiles offered were nervous as she sat down at their table.
Ellen shook out her pony tail and searched for her own shades, it was very bright. “So are we going to fall out forever? I don’t want to argue with you guys, but you have got to be prepared to hear my side of things. That’s my only condition.”
Sara spoke first, and was surprisingly calm, “we’re both sorry Ell, we had no idea.”
“Mum was all about the big successful wedding, so was Richard, and I think I got swept along with it all. It was the first time that people seemed proud of me...” Charlotte tried to speak, but Ellen placed a hand on her arm to still her, “I’ve had to live with you two being so successful, Mum and Dad have been so proud of you, so am I, but I never felt they were that proud of me. I wasn’t good at anything growing up, I watched you two do everything...” she’d dropped her head as she spoke, and when she looked there were tears in her eyes. “I think I confused attention for love, and I’ve screwed it up for everyone. But whenever I turn to Mum for help, all I get is put down. It hurts now as much as it did as a five year old.”
Charlotte scooted her chair a little closer, “why didn’t you talk to us? Your sisters? You ran away and we all just thought you’d changed your mind.”
Ellen sighed, “Yet I’d told Mum all that had happened. I wanted to tell someone, but when did I last talk to either of you? You’re both travelling, busy, I never see you. And to be honest since we were kids we’ve had very little in common. We drifted apart a long time ago.”
The waiter appeared with a tray bearing a steaming cup and saucer, “un cafe?”
“Gracias,” she smiles at him as he laid the drink in front of her.
Sara had been silent through all this, but it appeared she’d been waiting for the right moment to unleash “so you’re staying here with some French bloke?”
Ellen laughed out loud, “Jan is brilliant, he’s funny, caring....you’ll like him, if you give him a chance. He’s listened to me, helped me...”
“Then dived in and taken advantage of your vulnerable state?” Ellen was shocked at the normally calm and disinterested Sara’s outburst.
“Not at all!” she was indignant. “We’ve talked loads, he’s helped me make sense of all this,” she waved her arms around herself frantically. “I’m staying here to sort my life out, I need to decide what I want to do, and I can’t do that at home where I’m jobless, penniless and having all that shit from family, friends. I’m staying at his apartment, alone...he’s being nothing but courteous, and a great friend, when I really needed one. It was he that got the wedding money back from Richard, without that I’d been in SO much debt. So think what you like about me, but don’t slate Jan, he’s a good man; I wouldn’t be where I am without him.”
Sara nodded, “ok, it’s just quick Ellen, you must see that.”
Ellen shrugged, “what does time matter? I was with Richard for so long and knew nothing about him, at least what I have with Jan is real, and if it ends tomorrow I’ll be sad, but I’ll know that he made me see sense when I couldn’t see the wood for the trees.”
The three girls sipped at their drinks for a moment, before Charlotte broke the ice, “I guess we’ve just been in the dark about you Ellen, and I know we both wish we’d been able to help more.”
“How long are you here?”
They both shrugged before Charlotte suggested, “a few days, we’ve both got some special leave to come here.”
“And I REALLY appreciate you doing that, I really do. Tomorrow evening there’s a party across town, we were planning to go there, will you come with me, get a chance to meet Jan? I know you’ll like him, and it’s important to me.”
Sara nodded, “ok. What about tonight? Do you want to join us for dinner?”
Ellen was looking forward to seeing Jan, but she knew that she needed to be here, with her sisters. It was already a difficult job for Jan, finishing at midnight, a twenty minute ride in the dark to her, to head back for half ten the next day. It wasn’t like home where the roads were highways and well lit roads; most of the journey was winding poorly lit single tracks. Dangerous on broad daylight on a moped, so when she went to the bathroom half an hour later she called him and reluctantly told him to stay at the hotel.
“I’m glad you’re sorting it out Ellen, it’s not good to be estranged from your family,” she thought she sensed a wistful tone to his voice, but it was soon replaced by something else as he explained how desperately he wanted her at that moment, but how we was letting his head rule his body. And in the four minutes it took for her to head back to the table he’d turned her into a gibbering mass of mutual longing. Tomorrow was a long way away!
The three girls wandered to a nearby restaurant and ordered food, sitting talking, about everything and nothing, there was still an undercurrent of tension, but as long as they avoided topics of weddings, Jan and her parents they seemed to get along okay.
After food they drank wine and relaxed, Ellen realised as she walked home from their hotel that she’d actually enjoyed her evening, it was the most time she’d spent with her sisters over the last few years, and whilst there were a few awkward moments, generally Ellen was glad she’d seen them, made the effort.
She was still sad to go to bed alone, she missed Jan when he wasn’t there. Was it only four weeks since she’d first met him?
Arms sliding around her were the next conscious thought after lying in bed. She’d been fast asleep, and now someone was here, in her bed, as her heart started to race panic set in, then she smelled that aroma, fresh, citrusy...the distinct smell of Jan. His hands moved to cup each of her breasts and his face was buried in her neck, his teeth nipping at her soft flesh.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with a lazy smile, turning in his arms.
“The thought of you here, alone...Couldn’t bear it! And after that phone call....”
She chuckled as he pulled the duvet over their heads, God she loved this man!