Chapter 30

Kaisa


It takes a long while to settle everyone down. No one believes she's gone. Essie looks into my eyes and she knows. Apparently no one else heard what we said.


The wedding isn't called off (apparently these things happen in Lintukoto), and we are married. Eero spends most of the time trying to ask me without speaking what happened and non-verbally comforting his children. The little girls spend most of the wedding sobbing in Rax's arms, quite terrified of their mother's ghost.


"I talked to her. She misses you, that's all," I reassure them.


"She's not coming back?"


"No darlings, I don't think she is," I say, stroking their hair.


It's hours before I can slip away. I wish there were a way I could have told Maija all that went on. Given her all the answers she deserved. But I think now she knows. In her own way now, wherever we go in the end. I feel she has peace. But I made her a promise. And though she never knew Maku's name, she knew him. And she would want him to know the truth.


Rax comes with me to the room where we've been keeping him. Eero stays up tucking his girls into bed and I order Essie to stay with him. She doesn't want to. But I want the little girls safe, they're disturbed enough after today. And Rax deserves to be here.


"He won't speak," Mistress Huta says, letting us in, "And he's refused all food today."


"Idiot," Rax says, quietly, following me into the little servant's quarters. The window is open despite the cold day, and Maku is staring blankly out it.


"Maku?" I say, sitting down on the bed across from where he's bound to a chair.


He ignores me.


"Maija came back today," I say, gently.


"Are the girls—" he turns quickly.


"They're fine," Rax says.


"She showed me what happened I think—I know she'd want you to know the truth. Because she knew in her own way that you were the one she loved," I say, holding out a hand, "Let me show you."


He nods. I put my hand on is arm, and give him the memory. I go through it with him. He's crying by the end.


"She was so scared," he whispers.


"It was an accident. The doors were open all night. She just couldn't get back. It was a tragic, terrible accident," I say, tears in my eyes as well. "Okay? Nobody meant to hurt her."


"Except us," he says, quietly.


"No, you didn't mean to hurt her either. She didn't know your name, because you never gave it to her. But she did know you. You saw her looking for you that night. She knew when it was you," I say, gently.


He nods, tears running down his face.


"You lied to her—but you didn't mean to hurt her. If we'd had the time—I think she would have understood that," Rax says, gently.


"No," Maku whispers, "She'd have never understood. Or forgiven me. I don't forgive myself."


"She would want you to," I say, leaning so I look at his eyes, "Okay? She wants us all to go on now. For Leena and Liala, and for yourself."


"She was waiting for me to come save her."


"You would have if you'd known. Nobody knew she was out there—it was an accident," I say, more firmly now. "That's what she showed me—she wanted to show me."


He nods a little.


"If I let you go, you're not going to hurt anyone are you?"


He doesn't move.


"Would Maija want you to hurt anyone?" I ask.


"No, no she wouldn't."


"Or would she want you look out for the girls? And being happy here? She knew you loved this place," I say.


"I won't hurt anyone," he says, quietly.


"Including yourself?" Rax asks.


Maku doesn't answer. I undo the enchanted bonds from his arms. He stands, rubbing his wrists.


"Mak?" Rax asks again.


Maku half smiles at him, then morphs into a raven. The raven files out the window, and is free.


It's over.

Comment