“Caleb, I can’t let her take me back. I can’t let them bring me there... I’d go nuts. Literally.”

Caleb chuckled. I sigh. Was he seriously laughing at a time like this? Even if it was ironic. I leaned against the wall, cupping my face in both my hands.

“Carter, kill me. Going nuts is the least of your worries,”

“Wow.”

I am amazed.

Just frekin’ stunned.

I walk away utterly pissed off.

Caleb runs after me and yells,“Hold up, Carter.  I’m sorry.”

“Fuck off, Caleb.”

I was so lost, so … confused. I was losing it. I was breaking down. Hell, I even thought I was doing good for a while.

I mutter under my breath as I push through everything to head to my room. Along the way, I see Coach and Troy sitting at the island in kitchen.

“Hey Carter, blow off that steam in the gym. It’d be a good training sesh’. Don’t ya’ think?” Troy says, laughing. Think you’re amusing huh? I roll my eyes and pinch at the top of my nose. Then, I lift my middle finger at him as I walk away. Coach stays silent. He knows better than to piss me off when I’m in this mood.

I guess my attention was elsewhere when I collided with Faye.

“THIS DAMN HOUSE IS BIG ENOUGH! WHY THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS BUMP INTO ME?” I scream at her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She says. Her expression looks surprised. I guess she wasn’t expecting me to explode, then again, who ever does?

“Everything, didn’t you fucking notice?” I spit the words out in the disgust.

I stayed there, looking for some response. I couldn’t walk away from her, not like the others. No matter what she threw at me, I couldn’t walk away. I was always here to listen to what she’d say, whether it be good or bad. Whether it be something I wanted to hear or not.

Why couldn’t I just walk away? Because I was lost, looking for something or someone to tie me down. To stabilize me.

We both stood there and both came to an implied realization.

“You’re not mad at me.” I wasn’t.

“You’re just mad,” she said, almost reassuring herself more than me.

“Then, what?” she asks. I don’t know, Faye. I just don’t know anymore.

I take deep breaths and breathe harder than ever. I sat down against the wall.

Faye sat across from me against the railings.

I pulled my knees close to me and hid my face in my hands which lay on my thighs.“She’s coming for me.” I said. The words were muffled under my tears, under my crying.

“Who is?” she asks, totally unsuspecting. Totally unaware.

She’s probably working on her plans right now so she could take me away from all I know again. I said I’d never let her or anyone do anything remotely like that to me again. I promised myself. That promise seems so distant now, so long ago too.

I remember that day all too clearly. I was in that wretched stark white hospital room. I curled up in the bed. I was crying. I felt so torn up. So traumatized.

Then, Caleb walked in my room. I wiped at my tears. “Hey, guess what? I talked to doc’ and he said you’re stable enough to leave.” He has the biggest smile on and expects me to have one too.

I dreamt of this day for ages. The day where I could leave this so called “hospital.” Otherwise known as the place I call my prison. I was extremely surprised that I even made it. That I was still living. It was supposed to be the day where I could get my freedom, and live my life the way that I wanted to. … but now I was scared. Terrified even. If this place was bad, how would it be in the “real world?” Oh, God.

Caleb stares at me questioningly, obviously confused why I’m not completely excited to leave.

“Caleb, I don’t know. I don’t know how to … make it out there.”

He smiles and has the biggest grin on his face. I expect him to say something like ‘it’s normal to be scared.’

“Caleb, I’m scared. How am I gonna make it out there alone?”

“Oh I have more news. I  quit so that I could be a personal nurse to a beautiful, young girl. She’s due to leave and she hasn’t had any real experience in the real world. She wanted to leave, but I thought she needed a little help so... I’m gonna follow her around so she gets accustomed.” He is smiling like crazy.

I was shocked, “YOU’RE LYING, CALEB! Oh my gosh, I love you so much. Thank you! I cannot believe you’re doing this for me.”

So we both packed our things and got ready to head off.I tried to recollect some memories, but stopped myself before I broke down. I promised myself then and there to never let anything or anybody make me go through things like that again.

“Carter? Are you still there?” Faye asked. A hint of fear was in her voice as she spoke. I used to space out frequently before. It was like an out of body experience. My body obviously didn;t move. It stayed where it was and I subconsciously was thinking about something else, somewhere else. Somewhere I thought was within me. That place could only be channeled when I was under extreme pressure and stress. My mind needs to take a break. I didn’t know how it did it. No one explained. I didn’t read anything to help me understand why my mind collapsed and hid within itself to take a break.

I shook my head. “Yeah.”

“I’m gonna go rest for a while. I feel... fuzzy.”

“Okay, but we’re gonna talk about this when you’re rested.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

She stares at me, probably with an annoyed look on her face, as I walk to my ice-cold room.

I sit down on my bed and sit there. I try to recover. My mind tries to analyze what just happened.

God, a nap didn’t sound too bad right now.

I’m just about to close my eyes, then my phone rings and I panic when I realize who is calling me. It’s her. She’s calling me. The woman that had caused me so much pain and trauma. There in big, bold letters was her name: Hayleigh.