Summary: Simon is still ignoring Baz. Baz decides to seek for some help.

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Baz

Simon hasn't talked to me all week. He hasn't been in our room, and when I went to Ebb's yesterday afternoon, she said he didn't want to see me, not indicating that he was there. This morning, his toothbrush wasn't in our bathroom and his wardrobe was mostly empty. His bed hasn't been touched since last Thursday, which was when he kissed me and ran off.

What is wrong with us? It's obvious we both like each other. Why is it so hard for us to talk to each other? To tell eachother how we're feeling? I know now that the reason Simon was looking for me in the Wood was because he wanted to tell me he liked me. Penny told me that he may or may not like me two days ago. It was obvious she was lying and that he does like me.

His bags are gone. His clothes aren't on the floor. There is no trace of him, other than his messy, untouched bed and his desk chair, half pulled out. The window is no longer open in the morning, and I don't fall asleep to the sounds of his breathing. I don't fall asleep at all.

I try to talk to him during class, which earns me looks from students, but he ignores me. I grabbed his wrist in the hall once and he spun around with his wand pointed in my face. He was glaring the whole time, but I saw the hurt, I saw the pain. I saw me. I know what he feels like because I felt that everyday I knew him, since year 2. I couldn't have him then, and he thinks he can't have me now. He needs to know he's wrong, but he won't let me talk to him.

"Bunce!" I call. She's got books piled in her arms, her bag nearly overflowing.

"Basil," she greets.

"Where's Snow?"

She sighs. "Baz, look. I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to talk-"

"I know. But I need him to know. He doesn't have to talk, but I need to tell him how I feel."

"Baz, I- I don't know what to say. He thinks you hate him. He says he messed up. He told me what happened," she looks sympathetic.

"No. I messed up. I didn't kiss him back. He's taking it out on himself," my hands ball up into firsts at my sides. "What do I do?"

"I. Just, talk to him. I know you said you tried, but really, talk to him. Corner him, spell him, put him in a bag and lock him in a classroom. He just. He needs to know, and I'm not one to tell him for you," she gives me a sad smile. "If you can't talk to him, show him, Baz. He needs to see, so show him."

"But I am! He just doesn't want to talk to me!" I throw my hands up in the air.

"No," she says sternly. "Show him. You love him, yes? Don't tell him. Show him, Baz."

"How? How am I supposed to do that?"

"I can't tell you that. You're smart Baz, you can figure it out. Show him how you feel. Start there." I nod and she gives me one last smile before she turns and walks to her next class.

Show him, keeps running through my brain for the rest of the day. At dinner, Dev and Niall don't even try to strike up a conversation with me. Good men. Football practice is the same. It runs by quickly and as soon as it's over, I head to the hills to talk to Ebb again.

"Mr. Pitch!" She smiles when she sees me. "How are ya, love? Come in, come in," I follow her into a cozy sitting area, nothing like the manor at home. It's small and all the chairs look plush and comfy. There is a thin coffee table in the shape of a staff, made only to hold glasses and mugs. There are nice victorian rugs on the floor. Daphane would ask where Ebb got them, I for one, don't.

I smile. "I'm doing well, thank you. How about yourself?" I sit in a chair with my hands folded in my lap. I know how to be polite, and I can show it.

"Oh, fine. How'd football go? Well, I assume?"

"Yes, indeed. We have a game this weekend. Will you be attending?"

"Better believe it. I'll be wearing all of our pride. You'll find me," she winks. Ebb always comes to our games when she's able, which is most of the time. She also goes to the lacrosse games too. Snow goes with her to cheer on Wellbelove.

I clear my throat. "Is Snow here? I've been meaning to talk to him, but he's been ignoring me," she frowns.

"Sorry, love. He's at the library I believe, with Miss Penelope," after a moment she says, "He's confused, Basil. He doesn't want to hurt you."

"I know. I wish he was okay. I just want to talk to him but he won't let me."

"Yes. He doesn't know what to feel. He likes you, but he doesn't know if you like him back. It's not easy for me to watch." She wipes her eyes.

"I do, though. I really do. Ebb, I've loved him for so long! I don't know what to do to make him understand," tears are forming in my eyes and my throat is clogging up. I just want him to know.

"Darling. Let him know a different way. Other than telling him," a pause. "I can tell him you came by to see him, but I don't think he'll go after you."

"I just want him to know," I sob. I wipe my face and Ebb comes to sit beside me. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her side.

"I know," she whispers. I think she's crying too.

"5 years, Ebb. I want him so bad." My voice is hicuppy.

"I know."

"He thinks he can't have me, but I'm here," tears stream down my face but I don't wipe them.

"Basil."

"He can have me. I'll give myself to him. I just want him to know," the last part comes out as a whisper. She sits at my side, rubbing my arm. She doesn't tell me to stop crying or to brighten up. She doesn't hold my face like my mother used to and kiss my tears away. She sits and she cries too. It's comforting. Simon's lucky to have her.
I wipe my face with my hand and sniff. Ebb lets go of me and smiles, sadly.

"You tell him. Tell my boy. He'll believe you when he's ready. Don't you stop, Basil. You show him until he believes. He's lost, you help him find his way," I stare into her eyes. Blue. Like Simon's. But not like Snow's at all. Her's are happy. You look into them and feel like the whole world is on your side. Her eyes are a perfect spring sky, her yellow hair brings out the navy specs. Her eyes are delicate. Simon's blue is different. To say that his eyes were blue was like saying that the sun was yellow. Sufficient but not accurate to capture the burning. You see his eyes and you feel what he feels. Like you're enchanted.

I nod and get up. I thank her and she kisses my forehead before I leave. I need to find Simon. And if he doesn't want to be found, then I'll give him signs. I'll bring Ebb scones to give to him. I'll bring him flowers. I'll cast a sonnet for him. I love him, and I'll make him know. Somehow....

Simon

I'm ignoring Baz for his own good. I don't deserve him. All I do is hurt him, and I don't think I can live with that. So I'm ignoring him.

It didn't used to be like this. The first time we saw each other at the beginning of the year, we would get in a fight. It's not like that anymore. I can't keep hurting him for some petty excuse. I won't go after him. I'll keep my distance, and if that's hurting him, then I may as well leave. If I can't be who he wants me to be, I'll leave. How can he even manage to like someone like me? A fraud. A fake. The boy whose father murdered his mother. Baz's mother. My mother. A monster. How can he love a monster? I'm wrong for him. Were-mage. I'm putting him at risk. I'm putting everyone at risk. He's in danger because of me. How can he love a monster like me? How...?

I'll run away. I'll hide from him. I'll pack my bags and leave no trace of myself behind. I'll leave Baz, even if it hurts us both. I can't be with him. I don't know what I thought.

Maybe he'll learn to forgive me. Maybe he'll understand. Maybe me leaving will mend the bruises I caused. I don't want to hurt him. So I'll leave if I have to. 

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A/N: So we have a little angst... ish? 

Don't worrY. We have like, one (1) more chapter!!
Who's excited? I am!!

My whole story plot got mixed up, so I thought this was the 14th chapter.... heh. Same goes for Simon's Librarian Boy. That whole thing is effed up. Mood.

I'll see you in a few days!!