"Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled, it will never be perfect." unknown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zayn crept downstairs trying not to wake anyone on his journey. He was just getting aspirin for his hangover, but he didn't want to be confronted by any of the boys about what they saw. He went back to his room, but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard talking in Louis' room. Being the nosey person he was, he pressed his ear to the door in an attempt to hear better.

"We can't just act like we didn't see what we did." he heard Harry speak. 'Yes you can' he thought.

"Yeah, we should talk to him after we eat, and I'll make sure he eats something." a voice he couldn't make out agreed. He knew that he wasn't going eat and they couldn't make him.

"Alright then, I'll-," Zayn was about to listen for more, but was cut off by Niall scaring him.

"Whatcha doing?" Niall questioned. Zayn jumped away from the door, he thought Niall was in there?

"Umm, nothing. What do you have there?" he replied motioning towards the last bowl of Lucky Charms. Zayn knew that Harry would be upset because he got them from America, and wouldn't be able to get some more for awhile.

"I didn't see you, you didn't see me?" Niall questioned. "Yeah sure." Zayn replied

That's what Zayn loved about Niall. He didn't treat him differently even though he knew what happened. He decided to go back to his room and made sure to lock it this time. He laid down on his bed and sighed.

He didn't want to talk to the boys about it. Honestly, he wished that none of had happened. That he had been more careful, but he wasn't. He had failed at keeping it a secret. He then got the urge to cut again. He walked into his ensuite bathroom and grabbed his razor.

Zayn hesitated. Did he really want to put his boyfriends through that pain again? He contemplated for a moment and decided that what the boys didn't know wouldn't hurt them. He went to his thighs, but there was no room, same with his arms. He didn't mind the fact that he had to cut over his old scars. A few tears slipped from his eyes as he washed up. He was tired of feeling like a failure.

Zayn slipped on a onesie to hide his new cuts before then heading downstairs to see what Harry had called for. As he reached the last step, the smell of waffles hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't remember the last time he had something so sweet.

"Zayn! Come eat breakfast with us!" Harry exclaimed whilst dragging Zayn into the kitchen. Zayn tried to tell Harry that he wasn't hungry, but Harry seemed persistent on him eating.

Zayn took his seat next to Niall and Louis before staring down at his plate in front of him. He only had half a waffle on his plate and he knew that it was Harry's doing. Zayn appreciated the fact that Harry gave him less than the other boys, but he still wouldn't eat it.

"We gave you hardly anything Zayn. Just eat your food." Liam said noticing that everyone else had started eating. Zayn knew that Liam was only trying to help, but he couldn't help but get a little angry. It wasn't that easy.

"Not if hell was freezing over," Zayn scowled.

Liam, as well as the other boys, looked at him in shock. Zayn was never like this.

"Come on love, please. Just three bites." Louis persuaded, but Zayn was sticking to his first answer.

Louis pushed away his now empty plate before grabbing Zayn's fork and putting a bit of waffle on it. "Open," he stated whilst bring the fork up to Zayn's mouth.

Zayn blushed red in embaressment, all eyes now on him. He cracked under the pressure and allowed Louis to feed him the bite. Tears rimmed his eyes as he could practically feel himself getting fatter. Louis lifted the fork to his mouth again, but Zayn spoke up.

"Louis, do I have to?" he whispered. Louis saw the distress on Zayn's face and took pity on him.

"Only two more bites love."

Zayn ate two more bites before Louis let him be done, but they stopped Zayn from leaving the kitchen.

"Wait! Zayn, we need to talk to you." Liam called.

Zayn groaned, did they really want to do this right now? He felt like he had been through enough for today. He was gonna try his puppy eyes, but judging by Liam's face, there was no getting out of this one. So he sat down and motioned for him to continue.

"Since you won't talk to us about it, we thought you would be more comfortable around someone else." he started.

"What do you mean by 'someone else'" Zayn questioned.

"A therapist Zayn, we contacted a therapist. His name is Mr. Jackson. We filled him in on everything and made you an appointment for later today. He's really nice though and you should just consid-," Louis tried.

"I'm not going to see a fucking shrink. I'm not crazy!" Zayn interuppted enraged. None of the boys seemed fazed by this though.

"Zayn, you're going whether you like it or not. If you continue to refuse then we will not hesitate to call your parents and inform them of the situation," Liam stated firmly, daring anyone to defy him. Niall just sat there. He wanted to be included in this as well, but he really didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, and we're not bluffing at all," Niall winked, only to be flicked by Louis.

Zayn knew that they were probably just bluffing, but he didn't want to take any chances. "What time?" he mumbled defeatedly.

"In about two hours." Louis replied.

Zayn got up and started out the kitchen, but Liam pulled him back. "Zayn, you know we're only doing this because we love you," but Zayn just scoffed. "Whatever Liam," he replied before jerking out of Liam's grasp and heading upstairs.

The first Zayn did was run into the bathroom and lock the door behind him. He stuck his fingers down his throat, but nothing came out. He let out a few tears. 'It was just a couple of bites.' he kept chanting, but it wasn't working. He choked on a sob before sliding down the wall onto his bum.

He heard the Harry knock on the door, "Zayn, everything alright in there love?" no reply. "Zayn, are you okay?"

"If you ignore the fact that I want to die, then yes Harry. I'm just fucking peachy."

Zayn heard Harry sit down outside of the door and sigh, "You've been in the bathroom for quite awhile. Please don't do anything."

Zayn held back a groan. Ever since the boys found out, they treated him differently. They would check on him in the bathroom, take away his razors, and honestly, Zayn was tired of it.

"I'm not always cutting you know. I can go to the bathroom without harming myself." Zayn explained, but Harry was having none of it.

"If you can go to the bathroom without cutting, then why do you do it?" Harry questioned. Zayn didn't answer. He heard Harry get up and walk away, only to walk back moments later.

"You've left me no choice." Harry stated. Before Zayn could process what was happening, he heard a 'click' and the door opened to reveal Harry holding a paperclip.

Zayn let him come in and close the door behind him. He didn't even protest when Harry sat beside him.

"I'm glad you didn't do anything." Harry smiled

"I told you I didn't. Why didn't you trust me?" Zayn questioned. The boys always thought of Zayn as the most trustworthy. They could always count on him, but it didn't seem like that anymore.

"Zayn, I trust you with my problems, my secrets, hell, I trust you with my life. I guess the only thing I don't trust you with is yours, but can you blame me?" Harry replied sincerely. Zayn opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He was overcome by guilt for lying to them all this time, but he felt even more guilty when he realized Harry was right.

"It's time to go," Harry said whilst holding a hand out to Zayn. He gratefully accepted the hand and mumbled a small thanks before loading into the car with the other boys.

The car ride was mostly silent. Louis had tried to spark some conversation, but no one really engaged. They arrived twenty minutes early, but they all hopped out anyway, well almost all of them.

"I've changed my mind, just call my mum," Zayn grumbled.

"Too late! We are already here and we're not leaving until you finish that session," Louis stated firmly.

Zayn huffed and crossed his arms across his chest making no move to get out.

"If you're going to act like a child then I'll carry you in like one," Liam threatened. Zayn immediately jumped out of the car and walked into the office.

"Hi, you must be the boyband. Mr. Jackson is waiting for a certain Zayn right behind that door," she said motioning towards a door behind her.

The boys urged Zayn to go in, so he opened the door to be greeted by a young man probably just a couple years older than him.

"Please, take a seat. I'm Dr. Jackson, but you can call me Daniel," the man now known as Daniel smiled.

Zayn took a seat across from the man, but didn't say a word. "Not much of a talker are ya?" he questioned, but Zayn just shrugged.

"Look, I know you don't want to be here. I don't want to be here either, but I am here because I want to help you be happy." Daniel explained, but Zayn just glanced at the clock.

"I don't need help being happy," Zayn huffed.

"Maybe not, but do you want it?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N

Hey guys! It's been awhile, I know. That's why this chapter is a little bit longer than the other ones. I didn't edit this chapter, but I hope you guys still enjoy!

-Paige