Sajde Kiye Hai Lakho
Lakho Duaye Mangi

Loud music blasts through the massive Haweli. Chatters and rush are in full swing. For today is the Henna function. The royal decoration adores the walls the fragrance of happiness engulfs them all.

At the end of a corridor, the familiar room prevailed in silence as Aarzu stands in front of the mirror. Clad in her pastel blue dress, makeup is done, what's missing is the jewellery. She gulps. Another reason she never wants to come back.

Iss haweli ke riwaz uska gala ghot rahe the.

On days like these, she questions her choices. What if she had chosen the other option? Would had it been better? Maybe yes maybe no. No one knows, no one will never get to know.

She looks up again, puts her smile on and lifts the dupatta to her shoulder. Stepping slowly into the hall, she smiles. Rushing towards the stairs she collides with a familiar body, familiar amber orbs clashes against her blue ones. She smiles again.

"Tum zinda ho?" Zaheer asked, amusement filled his voice.

"Afsoos haa" She replied.

"This is what I called discrimination. I am naraz dude." He throws his hands in the air showing his complete displeased expression. She shakes her head and laughs at this.

"Oh please my drama queen."

"Waise I was looking for you?" He said.

"And why?"

"Ek cup coffee bana de yaara. Yaha sab chai ke ashiq hai, coffee koi nahi banata acha. Par usse pehle tujhe Amma bula rahi hai, koi rasam hai shayad."

"Ek, coffee mai nahi banane wali. Dusra Amma ka kaam jyada important. Toh Bye.

"Ek minute wait." She stops and looks at him with furrowed expression.

"What are you going to wear today?" He whispers and her breath halted. What will she wear? A gulp.

"I...I haven't think about it." She whispers.

"Why don't you wear the old ones?" He suggested. She smiles sadly.

"I don't have them. I returned them too" She sighs.

"What?"

"Stop reacting this way. I had my choices for a decade, it's been like that only."

"What will you wear then?"

Silence, because no one knows. Pain morphs her expression as she thinks about the days.

"Bhabi yeh kya ajeeb riwaz hai? Henna mein khandani jewellery?" A seventeen-year Aarzu whined somehow dragging her pista lehenga to the hall.

"Yehi riwaz hai aur hum sab ne nibhayi hai. Baitho yaha, Amma jee ke jhumke pehnau tumhe." She smiled shyly. Life is good.

Life was good, but it didn't last for long.

The family pieces of jewellery lying on the table in front of Abeera. She is supposed to make her wear them and she did. She gulps all her pain again and again.

"yeh apne koi khandani jewar nahi pehne?" Meera, some distant cousin asked Aarzu. All more reason she wanted to come back. Why can't they keep it to themselves?

"Nahi woh hume allergy hai." She lied with a straight face. An art she had mastered.

"Aarzu ap aye humare saath." Aneesha Begum called her.

"Amma?"

"Beta ap yeh jewar pehan ley," She smiled.

"Yeh humare nahi hai Amma. Hum nahi le sakte."

"Beta ap agr nahi pehengi toh log baatien banayenge."

"Amma, kuch logo ko hum yaad bhi nahi hai. Jinhe yaar hai woh baat ko shuru nahi karenge, aur raha baat humara, hume adat hai aise jeena ka." She smiled.

"Yeh Fatima ke hai beta, issme haq hai apka."

The air around suddenly becomes too heavy, she can't breathe. She sighs. She can't.

"Amma" A known voice of Zaheer calls them, his eyes furrowed seeing a stressed Aarzu.

"Haa bolo"

"Woh Aarzu tum yeh jhumke pehen loo." He kneeled in front of her, giving her the familiar pair of jhumkas she wore years back.

She gulps.

She dragged her heavy lehenga and sigh irritatedly.

"Khud ka qasam pehle khabar hoti itna kuch karna parta hai nikah mein toh kabhi haan na karti, yeh kya bhari kapde pehna diya Bhabi ney bhi"

"Waise hone wali Begum hai ap, apko toh bhari cheezon ki adat honi chahiye." The sudden voice startled her.

A pair of arms encircled around her waist, the scents of the known woods engulf her. The flurries beam shyly. She stands there numb, at the mercy of her captive, eyes shut and cheek flushed.

"Ap hone wali Begum hai Aarzu, ab tak toh apko bhari cheezon ki adat ho jani chahiye"

A soft smile plays on her lips as she slowly opens her eyes. The mirror in front of her shows a picture she wants to flame for forever.

Clad in yellow Salwaar kameez stands behind her. Her captive, her lover. She smiles with stars in her eyes, "Mashallah".

And she captured the moment on the curtains of her eyelids, forever.

"Woh yeh jhumkey bohot bhari hai." She whined. He chuckled, of course, they are heavy. And her red earlobe is the proof of her irritation.

Slowly he removes her earing keeping them in his pocket near his near. And that stayed.

Uske jhumkon ke saath uske dil ka ek tukda bhi wo apne kameez mein chupa legya tha

Unse aaj tak uske jhumkon ko sambhal kar rakha tha,
Unse aaj tak uske dil ko apne paas rakha tha.

He kept them close, he kept her close. Her mind goes back to that when he had taken them off, that night on the terrace.

Usne uss raat apne hisse ki zindegi jee lee thi.

Usne uske baad se har baar sajde mein uss raat ko manga hai.

She gulps, slowly wearing her pair of earrings.
Oh, how she loved these.

Maanga jo mera hai
Jaata kya tera hai
Maine kaun si tujhse jannat maang li
Kaisa khuda hai tu
Bas naam ka hai tu
Rabba jo teri itni si bhi na chali

She slowly steps down through the stairs. For once she feels like living those days again. The days when she used to happy. They used to be happy. But now, happiness is nothing but a question.

"Aarzu" Aneesha's call brings her back to the moment and she sits next to Abeera whose hands are already being adorned with beautiful henna designs.

"Abeera zindagi mein humesha usse chunna joh tumhe chune. Khush rehna yahi dua hai meri."

"Appi," Abeera gulps her tears. A pain she is well aware of.

Suddenly the music slows down as the Nawab enters with her in-laws. Aneesha welcomes them. Sitting next to one other they started talking. For once Aarzu is thankful that Zaheer keeps on annoying her. Otherwise, she is just minutes away from snapping at Meera. That girl is too annoying to her liking.

"Aree Aneesha Begum woh Mirza haweli ko toh kisi ki nazar lag gyi" Zuhera, Meera's aunt and Abeera's mother in law said.

A gulp.

Pale.

Aneesha Begum blinked twice for she is hearing of them after a decade.

"Jee hum kuch samjhe nahi"

"Jee woh Aisha Begum unko goli lagi hai."

A loud crash heard throughout the hall, all eyes snap at her.

The things she was carrying were now spilt on the ground. Broken glassware mocking her broken self. She gasped as she steps upon a piece and it pierces through her left foot.

Choot usse lagi thi par dard kisi aur ko hua tha.

Akhen uski nam thi lekin dil uska ruk gya tha.

She runs covering the luscious green lawn, her dupatta trailing behind. The tree sighed at her fate, the sky roared weeping upon her and he runs faster but before that the gates closed and she slides down crumbling on her knees. Pain. All pain.

"Please darwaze khol de" She pleaded, the sky roared.

"Bade shahab ka huqum hai" They kept their head low.

Huqum.

Order.

Her fate was again written by him.

But this time she has to go, so she runs towards the baithak. The hall covered with his associates but as soon as they look upon her, they leave slowly, for they know her pain. He should at least let her go.

Crossing the threshold she directly comes towards his table. He knows, and that pained her the most.

"Hum jane h waha" A plea, again.

"Nahi" A clear rejection, again.

"Humara haq h" She gulped, her tears know no bound.

"Ap ni jaa sakti"

"Unhe goli lagi h" She screamed.

"Uska badala woh apke khoon se lenge" He screamed, closing his eyes the next moment.

"Toh mar jane de hume" She whispers. His eyes snapped open.

And she stumbles back for his eyes are scary.

Red.

Pain.

"Chup hojao" A roar and he holds her throat caging her between his arms.

"Hum"

"Ek labz ni"

"Hum"

"Aarzu apne Maan ko mat khoo"

Silence.

Walking towards her, he scoops her in his arms, not caring about anyone, at the moment all that matters is her. Only her.

Walking towards her room, he made her sit. Blood. So much blood, yet she doesn't even wince for once. How much pain can she endure? Silence engulfed them as

"Choot gehra hai." He whispers

"Aur uss choot ka kya joh dikha ni skti" Her voice is loud and clear.

"Harr choot gehre hote hai, aur waqt ane par hum apka har zakham bhar denge."

"Arsa hogya issi umeed mein ke ap humara zakham bhar denge. Aur kitna intezar."

Secrecy fills the room. And she loses her last ounce of patience. Standing on her injured feet, she pushes him.

"Aarzu dard hoga." He tries to hold her but he was the one who pushed her this far.

"Salon se wahi horha hai. Jaye ap. Apko toh uski bhi izzazat hai ek hum hi hai jise toh shayad jeene ki bhi izzazat nahi"

"Apne hadd mein raho."

"Aur Kya hadd meri yeh bhi bata dein ap."

"Tum.."

"Kya Tum kya? Humara haq hai waha jane ka. Humara kya qusoor"

"Aur yeh hamari galati nahi hai. Lekin humapko jane ki izzazat nahi de skte Arzu"

"Toh humari galati hai ke hume iss haweli nikala gaya. Humari galti hai ke humse humari zindagi, humara ghar cheen lia gya? Humari galati hai ke ap... ap.."

"Zuban band rakho apni. Galati halat ki thi."

"Woh Ammi hai humari" She screamed.

"Aur tum Begum ho iss haweli ki. Biwi ho meri. Aarzu Zaman Shah ho. Aur yeh rista kafi hai unke lia tumhey goli marne ka."

Silence. Because when had once spoken anything against him.

When?
Never.
Not once in the past decade.

"Aur hum kisi bhi kimat par apni mohbaat ko nahi khoo skte"