"One more minute."

"It's not very polite to be late for a job, you know?"

"The party doesn't start until a half hour more."

"I know, but then again, we wouldn't want Santos and Leo to come knocking again while we're in the middle of—Han!" In his half-naked and sleepy state, the man snatched me by the waist and held me down on the bed, burying his head around my neck to which I tried squirming out off, though that did nothing for me so I sighed and let it be, knowing it was futile and it was my favorite position anyway. "I just showered." I murmured, hearing him groan while burying himself deeper, his lips deliberately planting ticklish kisses.

"But I love you like this." Damn it. "With less clothes." I ignored his remark and bit my tongue, knowing Han has been, quite passively, trying to incorporate the 'love' word in everything he says and does. It was a conversation I wasn't ready to deal with right now, not when there are still obvious things that we have to fix and do and think about. Sure, I feel it. Sure, it never left. But after today, when we finish what we came here for, there's a nagging feeling at the back of my head that knows he might leave again. Because if I was taking into account the reason he left before—well, we're going to deal with bigger monsters this time around, who knows what he does next? Still, I'm trying to get rid of thinking too much, and just enjoy the time left as much as I can. However hard it may be when he's like this.

"Come on, we gotta go." I pulled us off the bed, bringing him up as soon as I did and uncovering his totally naked body so we could finally leave. He knows I don't like being late to things, but he also knows how to push my buttons even more. "Get on with it or I'm calling Tweedledum and Tweedledoo to deal with you." Han looked at me all weird and annoyed before jumping out of bed and sneaking a quick kiss.

"Good morning to you, too, babe."

I just know it's gonna hurt. I just know.

-

There's nothing like it than the vicious Dominican Republic summer heat.

I've been here for a month and still, even donned with a thin strapped top, short shorts, and windows rolled down, I was still sweating like a pig and I would love it if we got over this very fast. At this point in my life, I had thought to be drowning in money without much care in the world. Not in the middle of a goddamn desert, putting my life on the line of fire, all the while sharing popcorn with the man beside me as if we're just watching a movie. Han must've felt the way I was looking at him when he glanced for a quick second and held my knees with his free hand. He squeezed it reassuringly but all it did was warm me up and make my chest explode. "You good?" I nodded when he asked.

"Never better." I wasn't nervous in any way for our mission, we've worked on it so hard the past few weeks. In fact, I was more on the edge for what will happen after.

"All right, we're good to go." Dom's voice reverberated on the walkie-talkie just at the same time as Letty climbed out of the car from the window and found her footing at the hood of the vehicle. "Everyone in position."

"l thought we'd be robbing banks by now, not some gas truck in the middle of nowhere." Han quipped back, making me laugh.

"You'd be gunned down the minute you step foot on one, Han Lue." I murmured that he chuckled.

"Down here, gas is gold, bubba!" Letty blurted on the talkie even if she's quite literally in a dangerous position. I admired her confidence and balance, truly.

Not far back, the twins, as I like to call them, had come head to head in a conversation that I couldn't understand and could not be bothered to learn. They were bickering and that's enough to know. "Kill the chatter! Game time." Dom's current irritation and focus were pretty understandable, and it's because this is our only chance to retrieve the liquid gold. If we missed this pick-up, we'll lose the chance for a big payout, we'll be letting down a lot of people, and Father Christmas would personally haunt us down at the money and resources he entrusted to us, crooks.

But I have trust in this plan. And I like to think we're able to cover any and all probabilities that may slap us in the face.

Hopefully.

From afar, I immediately saw Letty climb up the back ladder as planned, skilfully hoisting up and treading carefully atop the moving truck. "Okay, guys, we're gonna have to hit this hard and fast. We got 4K left before the downgrade." Han recognized the signal just the same as I do when he retrieved his hand and his entire movement changed like a flick of the switch. This was the Han that made my entire body squirm and scream, this was the Han that's going to make me miss my mark if I don't stop looking at him right now.

Han shifted the gear and the truck increased in speed, using the momentum to drift it fully backward until the rear of the car met the end of the truck. I hoisted from the seat and onto the back window, "Watch your head, babe." He said at the same time the back of my head bumped over it, every single damn time for some reason. Even in practice. I ignored his laugh and trekked all the way to the middle, lifting a heavy bar with all my might and throwing it timely back to the tow hook. I almost squealed in delight when it locked immediately, but contained myself and signaled to Letty.

"Give me something harder!" I quipped, making her laugh when she hopped down the lock and made the next move. As soon as she was out of sight, I backed all the way to the front and slid myself, feet first, before coming back with a grinning Han Lue.

"We're clear." He muttered as soon as we felt that light tug from the tank we're now holding at the back of the truck.

It was a little underwhelming to know that we've done our part and now we have to go. Usually, it's a bit more than just playing hook and tag. There's car chases, the feds on our asses, and bullets flying everywhere. I guess I got used to the violence so much that a part of me was devastated to live normally again. After this, there's only Miami, more cars, more parties, and standing in the middle of the crowd waiting for more.

We were one of the first to arrive at the meeting point just near the beach Han took me to last time. I couldn't stand the smell of the tank behind us so I walked away a little further until all there is was the scent of the ocean, the life I'm going to leave behind soon, and I guess everything else that came with it.

"What are you thinking?" Han asked, sitting beside me on the sand and leaning on a nearby tree.

"A lot of things." I sighed, "Like what am I supposed to do after this? Go back home? Work on the garage? Wait for another call on the other side of the world to do a short job? I don't think I can do that again. I don't think I can continue without a shred of purpose. The only problem is... what the hell should I be just to not feel this way? What do I have to do, what do I have to give, to know. Because it seems like everyone around me had their shit together, however awful and crooked, and here I am still, just existing." I looked up at Han and saw that he was just staring at me, I laughed. "I know it's a lot to dump out in one go. I'm sorry."

"I think the basis for purpose has been lost in translation a long, long time ago. Forcing yourself for a sense of reward and direction sounds a lot like meaningless hard work to me. You don't have to have a certain purpose to exist, people only do it because it's what they've been told to. It doesn't work like that. You just do what you love, with the time you have, and the ability to make it, and then you go with it. It feels like falling sometimes, like blind trust over and over again, but at the end of the day, you'll know that you didn't fall for some unconscious fever dream just to feel like you have all your shit together. Your purpose is to live, red. Just live, and make shit that makes you happy. It doesn't matter what and it doesn't have to make sense at all."

What he said made a lot of sense, and it made me a little ecstatic that I was going to find a life that I'll truly love. It's going to be difficult, costly, and maybe crazy to do it after all the mess I've managed to put my name on throughout the years, but there's no stopping me at this point forward.

"What about you?" I asked, glancing at him with a curious look. "What are you gonna do after this?"

Han merely shrugged, "I heard they're doing some crazy shit in Tokyo."

"That's a long, long way from home." I quipped, watching him stand as soon as we heard cars revving not from afar.

"You're welcome to come with. It's like what you said, you're my home, too, Vi. I'll be wherever you want me to be."

-

There's a sliver of responsibility that came with the fact that Han wanted to be with me. I guess it sort of—rattled me in some way. Scared me, even. I knew we've been there before, we've done it for a while and it was nothing short of a breeze, but after everything that happened and how fast it all felt, I was beyond overwhelmed. What I feel for him can't be put to words, and getting back with him for some time made me feel like I was lying in the warm fluffy clouds—but doubt pokes me like a poison I've willingly drunk and it makes me want to run.

Sitting by the beach with Letty beside me, there was a clear understanding of what the two of us felt. One look as soon as I sat beside her and she knew immediately what I was planning to do—attempting to achieve even if it makes me feel awful and sick and hurt. "In all the years that I've known you, this is the first time I've seen you so unsure about yourself." She muttered, passing a cigarette to me while I remained unable to utter anything than a huff. My eyes betrayed me for the fifth time tonight, and amidst the party and loud music, all my head could focus on was Han, leaning on Dom's car while they talk. And while I thought about how it's going to hurt like a bitch once I gather the courage to stand up. "No man—none has ever made you so soft until him."

"Was it that obvious?" She laughed as I took a swig of the now warm beer I was holding on to, like a piece of lifeline to keep me above water.

"You don't have to leave, red." Letty said, the word stabbing me repeatedly in the chest. "You just tell him to fuck off for a while and you'll give him a call once you're ready. Easy as that!"

I chuckled, thinking how ridiculous and yet more desirable her suggestion was. I guess it's better than breaking his heart, like he did with mine. "I'm not doing this because I don't lo—like him." I defended, "I'm not being petty or silly. I think I just realized that I have to find a part of me that's always been missing before things settle for good. To know what I need, what makes me want to wake up tomorrow and be happy I'm doing what I love. Without the possibility of hurting him for being too busy or not myself or while I'm in the complicated process of finding shit out. Not to be afraid, not to worry about what he'll think about me or ruin us before we even started. If he meant what he said to me, every word, then maybe he'll wait. But I don't expect him to, nor make him do something he doesn't want. I guess I'll just be meeting him again at some point in our lives and go from there."

"Well," Letty sighed, raising her bottle to me that I did the same, letting our beers clink like a broken promise. "I'll see you around?"

I smiled, "See you soon."

I stood up after letting her keep the cigarette, going over my way towards Dom and Han where I did the boldest thing and leaned right in front of the man that needs to have his own goodbye. I didn't know how to do it without cracking upon the seams, but I mustered a smile and gave him a kiss. "Sure, do that in front of me." Dom muttered, looking away awkwardly which made us laugh. Feeling warm pair of hands around my waist that didn't look like it was going to let go soon.

"You two are sulking like you're planning another crazy job." They glanced at each other knowingly, "Yeah, no. Consider me out of the equation."

"But I need my partner. Dom said we're quite a perfect team." The man in topic scoffed and attempted to leave, but I called him to make sure he keeps Han distracted while I leave. Because if I let him hold me a second more, I don't think I would've had the guts to leave.

"Dom's a pretty good matchmaker, aren't you?" I quipped, earning a raised brow. "Anyway, I left my pack in the car. Letty stole mine so I'm currently tweaking. Let me go, dream boat." I held both Han's grasp on me but before I could fully leave, he held me on both my cheek and pulled me gently into a kiss—almost crumbling my stone-cold resolute.

Fuck, fuck.

"Keep Han away from bunnies, will you?" I told Dom, seeing a familiar glint in his eyes as he raised his bottle in my direction the same as Letty did. Of course, he knows. Dom has a certain specialty for disappearing.

"I'll be back." I told Han, grasping his hands gently and remembering the smile he gave me last when I turned and curse myself over and over and over again.

It was dumb, it was stupid.

But I knew it's the only way.