The memories, the voices, they all quietened down eventually and Angelika found herself enjoying the nothingness. She was neither living or dead, simply existing instead of fighting to survive like she had for a long time.

There were times when she wished she could die. Cowardice had always fit her like a glove; too afraid to try, too afraid to speak her mind but ironically, too afraid to die as well. 

She feared the fate she might encounter after death, what her mother would say about the life she had led thus far. She feared that her death might be misinterpreted – some would say she ended up dying under the duress of humans and use her as a symbol for their cause, others would use her to villainize Magneto, making him appear as a radical, rage-fuelled mutant who ended up killing his own.

Every now and then, she heard people talking to her. Elias, Hank, Charles and even Erik. They spoke to her as if she was conscious, talking about their day, what the weather was like, just casual things. However, Erik went a little further and told her his plans for the future. Their future, to be precise, should she accept.

He told her he had bought a small house in Poland. A quaint little town, he said, just like the one they used to live in when they were younger. It had a small garden where she could plant the different kind of tomatoes she liked and he promised to water them with her. At least this was what she thought she heard. 

It was unrealistic of Erik to have stuck around for her anyway.

And she hated that a little part of her wished he had. She had always hoped she meant something to him, just as much as he did to her. There were many thing she wanted to tell him, that she hated him as much as she cared for him, that despite all of his wrongdoings, she still wished him all the happiness in this world. Even when he put her in this state.

"So will you be able to turn your back on him once all of this is over?"

Caliban was right. Angelika was a complete and utter fool when it came to Erik.

–&–

Months had passed since the Trask turbulence and time had allowed every one of them to take a breather. Xavier's School for the Gifted was open once again, and teachers and students alike returned as if they had never left in the first place. The mansion bustled with life and hope, healing some of Charles' wounds and granting him a new sense of purpose.

However, their loss was non negligible. Logan had vanished into thin air, his sister still preferred to stay away from home, from him, and Angelika had not yet awoken from her coma. Physically, Hank explained, she was fine. However, her mind had built an impenetrable barrier around it and there was no way to communicate with her. Charles had hoped letting her know that they had succeeded would ease her mind and give her a reason to come back.

Erik visited her daily, always in the dead of the night to avoid Elias and his unfiltered opinions, and Charles would often catch glimpses of him leaving Angelika's room. Even without his powers, he knew his mind was drowning in remorse. The bags under his eyes seemed to grow darker and the lack of self-care became more prominent every passing day.

"Erik," Charles called out, "We need to talk."

The telepath hated to be the bearer of bad news but Angelika's state was not improving and Erik was the closest thing to a guardian to Angelika, no matter how much Elias seemed to care for her. 

Without bothering to face his friend, Erik simply replied, "I was about to leave." 

Being in such a vulnerable state, both emotionally and mentally, Erik wanted to leave as quickly as possible. He didn't want Charles to hear his thoughts. Having forfeit his helmet to Elias, he always felt bare.

"It's about Angelika," Charles quickly added before he could leave. "Hank says if she stays in a coma any longer, her brain might sustain irreparable damages."

Erik's breath hitched.

Charles continued, "Hank has run some tests and she is perfectly healed physically. But I worry her comatose is voluntary."

"What do you mean 'voluntary'?"

"Voluntary as in she refuses to wake up."

Erik always had been someone hard to read. Without telepathy, Charles never would have understood him. However, when it came to Angelika, he was transparent. The telepath could feel each emotion he felt – guilt, remorse, regret, longing – and it made him pity Erik.

"Isn't there anything you can do, Charles? You are a telepath, you could try talking to her." His voice was raw with despair.

"That's the problem, Erik. There is a barrier around her mind and I might cause irreparable damages if I force my way in."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Erik understood the underlining question Charles was asking and while he was glad that he was kept informed of Angelika's state, he didn't deserve to know anything; hell, he didn't even deserve to see her and here he was. "Have you spoken to Caliban and Elias?"

"I thought it might be wiser to speak to you first."

Human emotions were complicating, Charles thought. Only a few months ago, he would have done anything to see Erik suffer from the pain of losing someone he treasured, just like he had lost Raven, and yet, now, witnessing his raw vulnerability, it tugged his heartstrings. His glacial eyes lost their venom, no longer calculating, as he stared longingly at her door, unsure of what to do.

"This is not something I can decide," Erik breathed out. "I lost that privilege long time ago."

"Angelika, she still cares, old friend."

Upon hearing those words, Erik came undone and pleaded, "Do whatever you can to help her, Charles. Please."

–&–

When Charles read someone's mind, the light served as his guide. Often times, the brightest memory only scintillated because of the darkness surrounding it. It helped him understand the nature, the becoming of said person. Erik's memories of his mother and Angelika explained why he was so hellbent on killing Shaw, why he became such an anger-driven person.

However, Angelika's was cold and grey, almost as if she was already dead. There was a single light left, as weak as the flame of a nearly burnt-out candle. Every step he took towards that memory, it strained him greatly as Angelika, though unconscious, was trying to eject him from her mind.

Charles saw three children in the light; Angelika, Erik and a younger boy whom he presumed as Caliban given the pale skin tone. They were sat in a circle around a campfire, roasting vegetables skewered on sticks. There was laughter and the pure innocence of the children warmed his own heart.

"It's not much but I was the happiest then."

Upon hearing Angelika's voice, Charles quickly spun around and saw her standing behind him. Her arms were folded across her chest, hands rubbing her arms anxiously.

"The war had just ended, and Erik and I were finally free. Even though Schmidt was still out there, we knew he couldn't take any actions to find us just yet, given that he was one of the Nazi's leading scientists," Angelika continued, "And having to take care of Caliban was more difficult than pleasant often times but it made me feel like we were a family."

"Angelika, you need to wake up," said Charles. "Your body can't go on like this any longer."

"I know, Charles."

"Your friends, your family, we are all waiting for you to come back to us."

"I know."

"Is it because of Erik?"

"It's just me being a coward, looking for the easy way out."

Her eyes were dry, for once. All the tears she had left inside her were already shed.

Charles knew the woman was on the brink of giving up. The darkness in her mind thickened each passing second. So he quickly pressed on, "What happened to the strong headed woman who tried to shake me out of my misery? The one who reminded me that there is always hope?"

"I really thought I could do it. I thought he would actually listen to me, trust me."

Oh, but Angelika remembered all too well, the look of pure rage and betrayal Erik wore when he thought she was merely trying to remove his helmet to let Charles control him. It just proved to her that he never trusted her as she did he. And if that was not enough, his poor attempt at ending her life, it let her know how naive she had been. 

Looking for love where there was none.

"This cycle of misunderstanding and hate between humans and mutants will never end, Charles. But I thought that if I kept trying, eventually Erik would take notice of what I was doing and change his ways. He and I are the first ones to know that violence is never the answer. But look where it got me."

Charles saw himself in Angelika. He too thought he could change the humans' and Erik's point of view if he tried hard enough. That's why he recruited and trained mutants with Erik, to prove that mutants were allies to humans and that humans could learn to appreciate their existence. But at the end, it cost him his legs and his dear sister whom he loved more than anything.

He was aware that he was in no position to tell her what to do, having dealt with his loss in the most destructive way. But now he knew that he was wrong, thanks to her. 

There was always hope.

With his index and middle fingers against his temple, Charles forced Angelika to look into his eyes.

"Wake up, Angelika."