I wasn't thinking...
You keep telling yourself that, you know exactly what you were doing and you submitted to it. To him. I know but this is something I wanted and he wanted it too. At this point I myself was conflicted.
But in the situation I couldn't take action. Maybe I'll just take it out of my system... (exactly Nicholas' words).
His touch and his kisses, it feels like something I can get used to.
Now we're laying in bed, with my head on his chest and him playing with my hair. This is such an intimate position. I feel guilty. But am I?
We just fell into silence but it was a comforting silence not at all awkward.
"I thought that sex once would be enough " he said.
I didn't answer.
"Can you tell me what happened? That day from last year?"
I just looked at him.
"Since you brought it up. Why did you leave me in bed that morning. You didn't bother waking me up? and why did you fire me even though you knew what happened?"
"I thought it'll be fun, believe me when I say I didn't know all along I only knew when it was too late"
I gave him a look saying to continue...
"You remember I fired you when I didn't even look at you, I couldn't have it in me to fire you even before knowing it was youI slept with the night before"
Now we are sitting and he was facing me. His eyes looked so sincere. I believe him.
As I was about to look away, he grabbed my face towards his and kissed me. A soft tender kiss.
Then he mumbled into my lips,
"I know I did wrong but now that I have you I'll make it all better "
"How?"
"Just wait and see "
I can't trust that he'd do anything, but I trust him enough to give him a chance.
What is wrong with us acting like this is ok...
We're both cheating.
He's cheating on his girlfriend and I'm cheating on my sister! I put this thought in the back of my head and didn't want to ruin the mood we were currently in.
I'll just worry later.
We talked and talked for some time.
He told me stories about his childhood, some where funny we laughed, some were cute.
He told me about the adventures he had with Liam. And that made me feel guiltier than I already did.
I couldn't even remember when exactly did I fall asleep.
I woke up feeling energized and happy, I looked around the room there was no one.
Where is he?
"Breakfast is ready! Wakey wakey !"
He opened the door with one hand and the other hand holding a tray filled with the yummy food.
••••••••••••••••••••••
The day was a long one and we were exhausted. He had several meeting, and of course I had to attend as well.
Thank god they were all in the hotel we stayed in.
During sometime in the day he managed to tease me, he also kissed me a few times. In public with people around.
But the happy moments had to stop, when my sister called him and he had to take the call outside. Then she called me and she seemed happy and asked if Boss was good to me. Boss meaning Nicholas, she knows I hated being around him.
But now we're back to the suite.
"Hi, I've missed having time for just the two of us " I wasn't in a good mood.
I was feeling like a lier. A cheater. I felt dirty, and I didn't like it .
I tired stepping away from him.
"Wh.. what's wrong babe?"
"I ... I .. just stop ok?"
He held his hands up.
"Tell me what happened. Did anything happen? Did I do anything?"
"I don't like this and I don't like lying and hiding... it is what got us to this whole position in the first place"
Now his facial expression and posture got more serious.
"I know and I shouldn't have made you make such decisions"
"I love my sister and I wouldn't want to hurt her in any way."
"But I met you before I met her."
"But now you're with her "
He went silent.
"Ok! We only have to be here for another night and we'll go back home... trust me baby I'll fix this."
He just touched my face and turned around and left.
I ordered me some food, and instead of waiting I went to shower. When I finished the food has arrived and I started eating right away.
Soon after I found myself tired and pretty much sleepy.
I don't know when exactly did Nicholas come back and I don't know if he even came back, but I had to sleep.
I was tired from the long day and I desperately needed to recharge. I would need all energy I could get for the next day.
The next morning, I woke up early but feeling good nonetheless...
I got ready I then went to Nicholas' room to check up on him, since I slept in the next room.
He wasn't there.
I called him...
beep... beep...
"Good morning ... how are you feeling today?"
It's good to hear his voice, he sounds fine.
"I'm fine, how are you? Where are you?"
"I'm downstairs at the lounge I had things to prepare... come join me for breakfast "
"Ok! I'll be right there, see you in a bit"
I guess that was the start of a fresh new day.