I've been dreaming

Author: hey to those that still like this fix thanks for sticking with me. And I also have other works if you get bored of this one so give em a try please I love constructive criticism.


I've also decided to change point of views and style of writing tell me if you like it and I'll continue in that way.
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You awoke that day with a smile on your face. You felt relaxed and at ease. It had been so long since you felt this way. With a dreamy sigh and ever present smile you laid on your back gazing at the ceiling.


Surely this change in mood had nothing to do with Diedrich. You shook your head in disbelief. No that wasn't it, just a good dream. This excuse eased your nervous feeling. Of course just a good dream that you now can't recall.


Before you had a chance to contemplate why it was some dreams are forgotten as soon as you wake you realize that its time for you to supervise breakfast. You were extremely late by your own standards meaning the maids and butlers are already awake before you are even dressed. you looked into your closet and found many dresses. You hadn't realized how much your courtship with Diedrich had changed you, you barely saw any of your original suits and ties. Francis had been slowly convincing you to rid yourself of "improper garments" in favor of the most feminine and frilly things girls your age just couldn't get enough of.


You blushed remembering her very convincing arguments most consisting of "The baron favors you more in a proper dress." You let out a long sigh and put on your last of two suits. You couldn't get through with your daily duties in a heavy dress. Yes you still wore a corset and female undergarments like any other lady would do but the multiple layers and help needed to put on those layers for a dress was just too much in your opinion.


Once your plain black suit with blue accents was pristinely covering your undergarments you left for the kitchen glad you were there in time to discuss the menu for today. You wanted to request the twins favorite Ciel had wanted to cheer up his brother as he had been feeling more under the weather as of late. Poor boy but you were glad he had such a dutiful brother looking after him. In a way maybe he took after you and Francis. Always watching out for your older brother to the best of your abilities. It made you smile. Your family was very important to you and if becoming an old maid was what it took to ensure the safety of them then you would make no complaints.


But what about Diedrich? Shaking your head as you helped polish the silver. Some of the maids giggled as if knowing who you were thinking about. You felt ashamed that you had let one simple man distract you from your duties as a member of the phantomhive house hold. But things can't be like this forever. What if one day he asks you to join his house? You'd have to accept if not because you loved him but for your brother. They were good friends and Diedrich a valuable ally to Vincent. Wait did you just say you loved him?!


You clutched your neatly done up hair (or if its short just pink it out of your face) as this sunk in. Did you love him? Was that bad? You would no longer be able to watch over the head of your family. Would you have to switch to watch over Diedrich's family? Or just Diedrich himself? Would you be able to do that without feeling like you completely abandoned your own family? Why was this so hard? It doesn't have to be and you know it.


You still felt ashamed that you would jump at the chance to marry the Baron. He was so nice to you even if he did have a temper and always had a scowl on his face. You thought the expression made him look strong and distinguished. And you loved his eyes always narrowed in annoyance but his eyelashes were so long and dark making them look almost soft. When he looked at you you could see he wasn't annoyed with you but embarrassed and you knew that you could be a bit more abrasive compared to other woman so you would always reassure him that he wasn't making a fool of himself by sending you flowers or poorly written poems. So he wasn't a romantic but neither were you.


Yet here you were a spoon in your hand and staring off into the distance. You only snapped out of your stupor when the spoon was plucked out of your hand. You then realized the polishing was finished save for the spoon in your hand. "Milady pardon me but there's a manor to run." The maid giggled before finishing up and putting the spoon with its many twins. She winked at you and giggled again walking away. You smiled and shook you head. You always say that to the servants and were actually very friendly with them. You knew their names, their children's names their spouses names, what the current happenings in their lives were. This was unusual for a noble. You hated feeling like you were higher than others it wasn't right. You were all people, humans in your own right. You didn't think class should make such a vast difference but it was how things were. Didn't give you a right to be rude to your workers.


You thought 'what if Diedrich doesn't feel that way?' you hadn't talked about things like this. What if things would be completely different if you married him. You refused to act like a snob but mingling with servants is frowned upon. You had decided. You couldn't marry Diedrich. He wouldn't accept you, you just knew it. And even if he did how could you leave? You were too invested in this house to just leave everyone high and dry. Yes you knew things would be fine without you but that wouldn't stop you from worrying yourself to death.


As you walked down the hall a single tear escaped your eye.


You'll have to let him go.


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Sorry there was no romancing from our fav german shepherd (see what I did there?) But I'm contemplating ending this a little sad because I'm fucked up like that. If you'd like both a sad and a happy ending comment below. But if you want only one comment which one you'd prefer.
Here's the poll!
Happy end: 0
Sad end:0
Both: 0
I'll let you decide 😉
PS. I did not proof read

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