Anticipation tingled down Sirius' spine. It all came down to this. This was the last chance he had. He had to make it count. Carefully putting on his genius disguise, he snuck onto the Hogwarts grounds. In his hands he carried the tools of his mission. He was prepared. He could do this. Ahead of him, he saw his target: the red headed boy with his broom, waiting for the match to begin. Sirius walked up, and reached out a hand.

He clapped the ginger roughly on the back and growled, "Destroy those snakes for me, Harry."

The ginger turned around and frowned and Sirius. "Oi, I'm not Harry, I'm Ron. And who are you?"

Sirius held up his little Gryffindor flag, which he waved so that it roared merrily. "Oh I'm, um, Dour White. Good luck in the match kid, that's a nice broom."

"Thanks, my brother let me borrow it for the match. Say, is that a pair of groucho marx glasses?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius said, adjusting his cunning disguise, and hurried off to the stands. He was disappointed that it wasn't Harry flying on the firebolt he'd sent him, but he still wasn't going to miss his chance to see Gryffindor slaughter Slytherin in the quidditch cup. He lived for stuff like this.

Plus, he had a couple of water balloons he could chuck at Snape and Moony! He'd enchanted them so it would turn their hair pink. Priceless.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/

Harry and the rest of the Weasley's cheered from the stands as Ron, Fred, and George soared into the stadium. Slytherin and Gryffindor were within 80 points of one another. Slytherin had the lead, but would all come down to the final score today. Even if Ron caught the snitch, if Slytherin had too wide of a lead in quaffles they'd still lose the cup.

But that was not the primary reason that Ron was determined to catch the snitch early on. The dementors had been particularly restless today, coming close to intruding onto the grounds several times. They hadn't canceled the match yet, but Ron had half hoped they would. Somehow, playing quidditch just wasn't as fun when he was worried about Harry ending up in the hospital wing again.

Still, Ron was going to do his best. He waited for the quaffle to drop, then immediately started patrolling the stadium while Angelina faced forward on Ron's old Nimbus 2000 to grab the quaffle away from the Slytherin Chasers. Doing his best to ignore the frantic, Ron did a rapid circuit of the field. Malfoy, who normally relied on his superior broom to dive in and catch the snitch when the other seeker spotted it, found that he simply couldn't keep up.

"Where's your daddy's money now!" Ron shouted as he flew past, unable to resist taunting the other seeker. Malfoy shouted something after him, but Ron was already focused back on looking for the snitch as he drew away, his firebolt rapidly outpacing the Nimbus 2001.

In the stands, Remus Lupin was sitting with the Gryffindors feeling absolutely miserable. The full moon had happened the night before, and he was still sore and grouchy. That didn't matter though, as he had promised himself to keep an eye out for Sirius Black and any potential dementors that might try and feed upon the crowd's emotions. Dumbledore was in the stands as well, though he was sitting with the Slytherins while Remus stayed with the Gryffindors.

"That was a clear foul!" someone bellowed from nearby, standing and waving his roaring lion flag. "What, are you blind ref!"

Remus groaned and shook his head. "Keep it down, will you," he muttered, not intending to be heard.

"Eh, what was that, Moony?" the man said, half turning around.

Remus sat bolt upright, his headache forgotten. He stared at the man, then rubbed his eyes. The stranger had on some of those silly glasses the Weasley's carried with them, but even so, he couldn't hide his scent from Lupin, who was still half in the mind of a wolf.

"You!" Remus snarled, his nose finally deciding upon who it was.

Sirius Black turned around, his expression innocent. "Who, me?"

"Traitor!" Lupin bellowed, casting a stunning spell at the same time. Black dodged, then chucked a device at Lupin. The defense professor threw up a hasty shield, but liquid splashed all over him. He spluttered, expecting to feel the burn of acid, but nothing happened.

"Damn, shouldn't have called you Moony," Black muttered. He stood and threw another device with all his strength, straight for the Slytherin stands.

Professor Snape saw it coming, and hastily shielded himself against magical attacks. It did not, however, stop the bright pink water balloon from dousing him in liquid, or Professor Dumbledore, who was standing next to him. Lupin snarled, but had to do a double take. Instead of screaming in agony, Dumbledore and Snape instead had their hair turn bubblegum pink.

"Professor, why is your hair pink?" a student demanded. "And why do you have out your wand?"

"Sirius Black is in the stands!" Lupin roared, causing everyone to shriek in panic. "Get him!"

"Not a chance!" Black shouted. He had reached out and grabbed one of the Weasley's, who were standing right in front of him. "Do anything, and I'll kill him, I swear I will!"

"I'm a girl you moron!" Ginny screeched, trying to bite Black's hand but having no success. A rat tried to wiggle out of her pocket, but Black stunned the creature and it fell back into the girls robes.

"Right, sorry about that. Hold on," Black said. "Portus!"

Before Lupin could react, Ginny and Black varnished with a pop.

"No!" Lupin roared, diving forward, but with no success.

The game came to a screeching halt as the crowd shouted. Lupin ignored that and bowled forward into the Weasleys. "Do you have the map?" He demanded, hoping against hope that Black would not have gone far.

"I've got it here," Harry said, drawing it out. "Where did they take Ginny? What's Black going to do with her?"

"Nothing good," Lupin answered. He seized the map and studied it. He felt his heart skip a beat. They were still on the grounds! "There they are, in the Shrieking Shack tunnel. Ginny Weasley, Sirius Black, and...and Peter Pettigrew!" Lupin's eyes bulged. It couldn't be.

"Who's Peter Pettigrew?" Harry asked. "Is he another Death Eater?"

"No time to explain. You lot stay here, I'm going after Black," Lupin said, taking the parchment map and hurrying away.

"What's happened? Where's Ginny?" Fred and George shouted as they pulled up to the stands.

"Sirius Black kidnapped her!" Percy shouted. "Get brooms from everyone, they're in the shrieking shack! If we hurry, we can save Ginny!"

Angelina, Kaite, Alicia, and Oliver all handed their brooms over to the Weasleys, who quickly mounted up, even Hermione who had forgotten her fear of flying in favor of her fear of losing her sister.

"Ha! Shows what you know Weasley!" Draco shouted, holding up the snitch. "Slytherin wins!"

"Sod off you prat!" Ron shouted, drowning out Oliver's wails of despair. "Some things are more important than quidditch."

All eight Weasley's (and prospective Weasley's) flew off towards the shrieking shack, with Luna mounted behind Harry and clinging to him tightly. They had a score to settle.

When the spinning sensation ended, Ginny found herself being hauled up a long, dark tunnel. She tried to struggle and fight back, but Black ignored her struggles, instead throwing Ginny over his shoulder and striding up the passage. "I've got you now you little rat," Black growled.

"I'm not a rat, I'm a Weasley!" Ginny shouted, trying to kick and scratch at Black.

"Not you, the rat," Black said. He opened a door and strode into a dingy shack that had a banner hung up with the words "Super Secret Lair (No Dark Lords allowed)" written in scarlet letters. Before Ginny could try to figure out just what exactly this meant, she found herself dumped onto the floor. Black had taken her wand, and was pointing it at her. "Now give me the rat, girl, before I'm forced to do something we'll both regret later."

Ginny slowly drew out the stiff form of Scabbers, who was still stunned from Blacks earlier spell. "What, you mean this rat?"

Black licked his lips and nodded. "Tell me, is he missing a finger on left front paw?"

"Er, yes, he is," Ginny said, holding the rat up gingerly. She hadn't really wanted to take him, but Ron had wanted his pet to be present for the match and he'd dumped him on her.

"Ah ha! Then my cunning plan has succeeded!" Black seized the rat, and began hexing him vigorously. Ginny watched in astonishment for a moment, then stood and kneed Black in the groin as hard as she could.

Black let out a moan and dropped to the floor, dropping Ginny's wand as he clutched at himself. Ginny picked up her wand and leveling it on Black. "Now you're in for it, you wanker."

Black snarled and lunged forward, only to be hit from behind with an impediment jinx as Hermione crashed through the ceiling on her broom.

"Stop right there!" Hermione snarled as she picked herself up. "Or I'll hex you again! I'm serious!"

"No, I'm Sirius," wheezed Black from the floor. "You're a Weasley."

Hermione blinked and looked up at Ginny, who shrugged. "Honestly, this is the most rubbish kidnapping I've ever seen. I managed to free myself and get my wand back because he was obsessed with Scabbers instead of me."

"Was going to let you go," Black managed, getting to his knees. "Just want the rat."

Black was once more bowled over as Fred and George dropped right on top of him through the room, kicking Black in the head.

"You let our sister go!" they shouted.

"But I did!" Black protested. "I don't care about your sister!"

Ron and Percy came next, both hexing Black who groaned and slumped over. Then came Harry, Luna and Penelope, who each gave Black a good kick in the groin as well.

"Why?" Black moaned. "Why did you all kick me in the boys?"

"Because you kidnapped our sister!" the Weasley's chorused. "We're here to rescue her!"

Ginny sniffed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I rescued myself, thanks. He's pretty rubbish at kidnappings for a Death Eater."

"Not trying to kidnap you," Black moaned. "Someone get that rat! He's a traitor!"

"Who, Scabbers?" Ron said, picking up the rat and petting him. "He's been hexed and stunned! Why'd you torture my rat?"

"Because that, Mr. Weasley, is no rat." Everyone turned to the tunnel, where Professor Lupin was exiting, his bright pink hair disheveled and damp from his sprint across the grounds.

"It looks like a rat to me," Ron protested. "We've had him for years. He's always been a rat."

"No, he hasn't," Black growled, trying to claw his way forward and grab onto Ron. Percy hit the poor man with a knockback jinx, sending him flying towards Fred and George, who slammed their beater bats into Black so hard he bounced off the floor.

"Stop that," Lupin growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Leave him alone. Ron, give me the rat."

"Don't do it!" Penelope warned. "He must be in league with Black! He's a werewolf, you know."

"What?!" everyone but Luna and Hermione shouted.

"Of course he is, didn't you notice he always gets sick during the full moon?" Luna said.

Hermione nodded, leveling her wand at Lupin. "Indeed. I had hoped those rumors about werewolves being vicious monsters were false, but it seems you're nothing but another Death Eater!"

Black wheezed and twitched, and Harry realized he was laughing. "Moony? A Death Eater? Fat chance of that. He's a werewolf and a bit of a git, but he's no more a servant of the Dark Lord than I am."

"Sirius, that is not helping my case at the moment," Lupin sighed, shaking his head. "Ron, please. Either set that rat down or let me see him. If he is what I think he is, then there has been a terrible miscarriage of justice."

"I'm not giving you anything!" Ron said, hugging his rat tightly. "You could eat him! You're a werewolf!"

"I'm not eating anyone!" Lupin snapped. Then he paused. "Well, I might would eat that rat, but only on a full moon. And there isn't another one for a month, so he's safe for now."

"Guys," Harry said, shivering slightly. "I think maybe we should start running."

"Harry, don't worry, we'll handle Black and Lupin," Percy said confidently.

Luna let out a moan and sank to her knees, clutching at her head. From the floor, Black whimpered as the cracked windows began to frost over.

"I'm not worried about them," Harry whispered. He pointed out of the window. "I'm worried about those."

A horde of dementors was descending on the shrieking shack, their black robes hanging unnaturally still on their forms as they flew towards the occupants of the shed.

"Oh bugger," Black groaned. "I was hoping I'd deal with the rat before they showed up."

"Expecto patronum!" Percy and Penelope shouted. After a moment, Lupin's wolf joined the lion and dolphin.

"Why are you helping us?" Ron demanded, leveling his wand at Lupin. "I thought you were a Death Eater!"

"Even if I was a Death Eater, do you really think I'd want to get Kissed by a dementor?" Lupin said. "Circle up! Hopefully our patroni will hold off the dementors long enough for help to come."

Everyone huddled at the center of the shack, Harry clutching Luna in the middle of the rough circle as she wept and shuddered uncontrollably. "I do have friends, I do have friends, I do have friends," Luna chanted.

Harry shut his eyes, trying to block out the screams of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as he heard them being murdered alongside the Potters by Voldemort. He focused not on his own fear and pain, but on Luna. "I'm here Luna. I'm your friend, I do love you," Harry whispered, trying to be brave and strong.

"Ah ha!" Black shouted, holding up Scabbers triumphantly along with Harry's wand. "Homorphus!"

With a squeak, Scabbers was flung back towards the dementors, turning into a shabby looking man with long dirty fingernails and yellowed buck teeth.

"What?!" all the Weasley's cried.

Black leveled Harry's wand at the trembling man as more dementors descended. "You're mine now Wormtail! If I'm going to die today, I want to at least commit the murder I was imprisoned for!"

"Stupefy!" Hermione shrieked, dropping Black to the floor. She pointed her wand at the man, who was shuddering uncontrollably as the dementors hurried towards him. "Stupify!" She grabbed Ron's hand, drawing him close to her. "Together Ron, we have to make a patronus!"

Ron nodded, raising his wand. "Expecto patronum!" they shouted together. A silvery otter and dog shot forward, driving the dementors away from the man.

"We did it!" Hermione shrieked, hugging Ron tightly. "We made a patronus!"

"Yeah, we did," Ron agreed, a goofy grin on his face as he hugged Hermione back. "Pretty cool eh?"

"But how do we get rid of the dementors?" Penelope asked, her voice shaking slightly. "I don't know how much longer I can last."

Percy reached out and took Penelope's hand. "We last as long as we can," he said, his own voice rough. "As long as we're together, we'll be alright." He turned to Penny and smiled at her. "I love you, you know."

Penelope smiled despite the cold. "I love you too, Percy."

Percy swallowed. "I don't have a ring or anything, but Penelope, if we survive this, would you marry me? Maybe not for a few years while I get established but-"

Penelope stopped Percy's rambling by kissing him, tears running down her face. "I would. I'd be honored to become a real Weasley, Percy. Even if I have to wait a few years."

Fred and George glanced at one another. "Think we could manage it as well?"

"Sure, but I'm not snogging you after."

"Well I wouldn't want to marry you anyway, you're ugly!"

"Ha! That means you're ugly too!"

"Expecto patronum!"

A red squirrel and an orangutan shot out of their wands, driving the encroaching dementors back slightly.

"Oh come on!"

"That's not bloody fair!"

"They're supposed to be identical!"

"Sirius, a bit of help," Lupin grunted. "Surely you can manage one as well."

"Pfff. As if I've got any happy thoughts from the last ten years," Sirius grumbled.

Lupin sighed. "Just remember that you not only managed to moon the entire school a few months back, but you've also managed to turn Severus' hair pink."

A giant silver dog ran forward, bowling into a group of dementors. Sirius let out a contented sigh. "Best. Prank. Ever."

"Which one?" George asked.

Sirius tapped his chin with Harry's wand thoughtfully. "Hard to say. I've dreamed of turning Snivellus' hair pink since I was a wee lad. But mooning the entire school is a lifelong goal of mine."

Fred laughed. "Hey, us too!"

"No fraternising with the enemy you two!" Percy shouted.

"Honestly Percy, I'm more worried about the dementors than Black," Ginny said, glaring at the faint silver mist she'd conjured. "Argh! Why can't I manage a proper patronus!"

"It's a very advanced spell Miss Weasley, you're doing quite well," Lupin assured her.

"And no enemies fraternizing with my sister!" Percy snarled.

Lupin shook his head. "I don't think either of us are your enemies. Are we, Sirius?"

"What? Oh, no, of course not. Unless Voldequirrel asks if I'm your enemy. The answer to that question is yes: definitely. Oh, and I'm supposed to give him a bit of your blood for a dark ritual of some sort but honestly I was planning on swapping it for ketchup."

"You're in contact with the Dark Lord?" Lupin demanded, turning to look at Sirius, his face a mask of horror. "Then you really are a traitor!"

"Honestly he just keeps running into me. And if there is anything I've learned, it's that when a Dark Lord asks you if you're a loyal follower of his and your unarmed and alone, you say yes."

"Hey, I think the dementors are leaving!" Hermione cried. "They're being driven off by something!"

A great silvery bird swept over the shrieking shack, driving back the dementors as it cried out with a melodic song. On the ground, a gleaming silver doe herded the dementors away from the shack as well.

The air warmed, and the huddled group let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that was fun, but I've got a rat to kill and then I really must be going," Black said, striding towards the prone form of Pettigrew and twirling Harry's wand.

"Sirius, stop!" Lupin ordered. "If you kill him, then we'll never prove you're innocent!"

"As if anyone would ever believe I was innocent," Black laughed, pointing his wand at Pettigrew.

"I couldn't agree more," Snape snarled, stepping through one of the broken windows. "Stupefy!"

Sirius dodged out of the way, firing back a spell of his own. "Nice hair, Snivellus!'

"You're mine now, Black," Snape growled, shielding against Black's spells and launching a salvo of his own.

"Severus! I believe Black is innocent!" Lupin said, trying to get between the two men.

"You would, you mangy cur," Snape said, firing a stunner at Lupin.

"Wow," Hermione said, looking back and forth between the three men who were furiously dueling. "Who do you think we should help? Should we help?"

Fred and George raised their wands. "Well 'Mione, in a situation like this, there is only one thing you can do."

"Stun them all and let Merlin sort them out!"

Hermione's stunner took Black from behind, while Fred and George got Snape and Lupin. Ron ran over to the man Scabbers had become, looking confused. "I don't get it, how did Black turn Scabbers into a person?"

"He used the homorphus charm," Hermione said, coming to stand beside him. "It must turn animals into people."

"That's not what it does," Penelope said, firing her own stunner into Pettigrew's prone form and making him twitch. "The homorphus charm forces an animagus back into their human form. You'll learn about it in sixth year charms."

Ron suddenly paled. "You mean...you mean Scabbers was a person this whole time?"

Penelope nodded. "Yes. He must have been that Pettigrew person that Lupin was talking about."

"But Pettigrew died in the war, Black murdered him," Percy said, coming over with Harry and Luna. "I remember mum and dad talking about it when it happened."

"Well obviously Black didn't successfully murder him," Hermione pointed out. "That must be why he was trying to get Pettigrew. He was trying to finish what he started."

"But that doesn't make any sense!" Harry said. "Why would he break out of prison just to kill someone he was in prison for killing?"

"That is a question I believe that I can answer," a new voice said. A hole opened in one of the walls of the shrieking shack, and Dumbledore himself stepped through, his bubblegum pink beard swaying as he walked. He glanced at the still forms of his two professors, the escaped convict, and the revealed animagus, and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Minerva was right. You Weasley's do cause all kinds of interesting and novel headaches."

"It's our speciality!" Fred and George chorused.

"Please sir, I don't understand. What is going on?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore waved his wand, levitating the for still bodies off the floor. "That is a long story best told back inside of the school, where no lingering dementors can attempt to disrupt our talk. Come with me, Weasleys. We have a mystery to solve."

"I do like mysteries," Luna admitted. "Especially ones as confusing as this."

Back inside the school, Dumbledore sealed the doors of the Great Hall to the myriad inquiring voices. He pointed his wand at Lupin and revived him. "Ah, Remus. Perhaps you can enlighten us as to just what has transpired?"

Lupin groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. "Erg. I think I can fill in some of the holes, Headmaster, but only Sirius knows the whole story."

"Let us begin with what you know," Dumbledore said.

"Well, as you know, Sirius Black was imprisoned for betraying James and Lily Potter and murdering 12 muggles and Peter Pettigrew," Lupin said, pointing to the sleeping form of the rat-like man. "But here we have Peter Pettigrew, alive and well, having spent who knows how long disguised as the Weasley's pet rat. How long exactly have you had that rat?"

"Twelve years," Percy answered, shaking his head slowly. "I found him in the garden one day and mum let me keep him as a pet."

"That is an extraordinary long life for a common rat," Dumbledore observed. "Did you not suspect anything?"

"Well, I just thought he was, you know, magic," Percy mumbled, looking down in embarrassment.

"You mean I've been letting that creep sleep in my bed for the past three years?" Ron demanded, looking rather green.

"I'm afraid so, Misters Weasley," Dumbledore said solemnly. He pointed his wand at Black, who jerked upright.

"Where's Harry? Is he safe? Where's the rat? I'll kill him!"

"I'm fine Mr. Black," Harry said.

Sirius looked pained. "Harry, please. Mr. Black is my father, the old bastard. Call me Sirius."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Perhaps, Mr. Black, you can enlighten us as to what truly transpired that fateful day when you were imprisoned in Azkaban."

Sirius nodded, not taking his eyes off Pettigrew. "Alright, but then I get to kill Peter, right?"

"We shall see," Dumbledore said.

"Hmph. Well, when I found out James and Lily were dead, I was devastated. Went a bit mad. Pettigrew had been the real secret keeper, I was just a decoy. I found Harry in the wreckage and gave him to Hagrid to keep him safe, then I set off after Wormtail. That is, Peter here. I tracked him down and was about to bring him in, when he shouted that I had betrayed James and Lily myself and blew himself up. Or at least I thought he had. I let the aurors take me away, I knew it was my fault James was dead. If only I had been the secret keeper." Black closed his eyes, a tear trickling down his cheek. "I'm sorry, Harry. It should have been me. I never would have told Voldemort where your parents are. Sure, I'll pretend to be a Death Eater and all that to save my own skin, but I would have died before I betrayed your parents."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lupin demanded, shifting towards Black. "If I had known you were innocent, I would have done something. If I had only known..."

"Well, to be honest, I had thought you were a spy," Black admitted. "It wasn't until I was already in Azkaban that I realized that with Peter being the spy, you had to be innocent yourself. Sorry, Moony."

"It is I who should apologize," Lupin said, pulling Black into a hug. "My friend, I thought you lost to me."

"That explains a great deal," Dumbledore mused. He walked over to Pettigrew and bared his left forearm. "Ah. The Dark Mark. Then it is true. Peter was the real spy. For here-" he turned and jerked aside Black's sleeve. "We find...Sirius? What is this?"

Black wilted under the headmaster's glare. "Oh. Um, that's my Dark Mark."

Dumbledore raised both pink eyebrows and held up Sirius' forearm so that everyone could see the crudely drawn skull and snake with the "Slytherin Sucks" banner. "That is not a true Dark Mark. It appears to have been done by someone with very little drawing ability. Also, it is in crayon I believe."

"Look, I'm left handed. It was pretty hard to draw, OK? And I needed to give myself a Dark Mark so Voldequirrel would trust me."

"Voldequirrel? You mean that Voldemort is still inhabiting Quirinius' body?"

"Yeah, about that." Black launched into a brief, colorful tale about his daring exploits the past year, running into the Dark Lord and his host, how they kept finding Black no matter where he hid in the Forbidden Forest, and how Black had somehow managed to find himself the Dark Lord's new favorite Death Eater.

"But why did he order you to get Hermione or bring him her blood?" Ron demanded.

Sirius shrugged. "Some Dark Ritual or other. Like I said, I was going to substitute ketchup."

Dumbledore stroked his pink beard, looking thoughtful. "This presents us with a most unique opportunity. You have managed to gain Voldemort's trust. You could lead me to him, and we could banish him for many years again."

"Oh, no, he left a week ago. Something about sensing another one of his followers he could recruit. I was just glad he left me alone."

Dumbledore glanced at Snape, his eyes twinkling. "I believe this concludes the portion of the conversation relating to the Weasley clan. Rest assured, your former pet will be dealt with, and young Miss Weasley is in no danger of losing any blood to the Dark Lord at this time."

Sensing a dismissal, the Weasley's retreated, after each pausing in turn to give Pettigrew a sound kick in the side.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Snape groaned and stirred. He glanced up at the smiling face of the Headmaster.

"My dear boy, would you like the good news or the bad news first?"

"Bad news," Snape said, closing his eyes.

"You owe me two galleons. It appears Mrs. Clearwater has finally accepted an offer of marriage from young Percival, and is now a real Weasley."

Snape opened one eye. "If that's the bad news, I cannot wait to hear the good news. Are Black and Lupin both dead?"

"Sod off you greasy git," Black called.

Snape grimaced and opened the other eye, slowly sitting up as his wand hand twitched. "Is the good news that I get to kill them both?"

"Nice to see you're back to normal then," Lupin grumbled. "You'd think you could let a grudge go after 20 odd years."

"The good news is, I found you a partner in your future endeavors as my spy, Severus," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Who?"

Black waved cheerily. "I told you, same team!"

Later, Snape went to McGonagall's quarters.

"What do you want?" the Head of Gryffindor snapped. "The Weasley's were the ones who stole that damn Hat, and now Penelope Clearwater has red hair and has moved into Gryffindor Tower. Or should I say Penelope Weasley. Apparently, she's accepted an offer of marriage from Percival. Honestly, I thought that boy had more sense, or at least enough ambition to wait until he had a successful career."

"To commiserate," Snape said, withdrawing a large bottle of firewhiskey. "You have a Weasley sized headache. I have an overgrown mutt sized one. And that idiot old man seems to find the entire situation amusing."

McGonagall conjured up two rather large tumblers and poured them both a drink. "To misery. May it always find company."