Dear James Potter,

You asked Lily Evans out again today. Unsurprising obviously. The surprising part was that instead of rejecting you as usual, she said yes. That date went well (seemingly) because now you two are going steady together. While I'm happy for you both, I can't help but ache seeing you two together. I don't know how much longer I can handle this feeling. I think I've really come to hate myself. Sometimes I think I hate you. I know I don't, but occasionally I wish with everything in me that I did, or could. You just break my heart everyday James. It's just there is no way to fix it. I think I've started to accept that you will never love me like that, it's just painful still. I do genuinely hope you and Lily have an amazing future together. You two deserve it. But... I'm sorry James. I truely am. I lie to you lot as well, you know? Unlike you gits, I don't get the luxury of being ignorant of how I'll die. I know my fate, and I know that my fate is sealed. I know that I will die at the hands of the dark lord, not just because I'm muggleborn, but because I have something he wants. I can't live the same now that I have this as mental background noise 24/7. Just so you know, I still love you, even though I honestly always wish I didn't.

With love,
Your Anonymous Admirer