Travis.

I raised a hand to block the sun from hitting my eyes as I stood in the grass and stared at Finn. My other hand was rubbing my sternum, trying to get rid of the itch that I knew wasn't a result of my cotton t-shirt irritating my skin.

It was the same itch that had started after the car accident and followed us the rest of the way home. We got a hotel that night and drove the rest of the way home in the morning. I didn't remember most of the drive. Lacey and Ben had talked a lot. I took some pictures.

The burning in my chest started as a small ember, coaxed to life from the anxiety that fell upon me as soon as I swerved right into a tree, almost taking out Lacey. It was raining and I hadn't been paying enough attention to the road.

The moments after the crash lived in my memory in splotches, not all clear, not all there. They said I was talking about how I was going to wind up killing them both. It was true. I was a hazard. I needed to be wrapped in caution tape while Lacey and Ben wrapped themselves in bubble wrap.

They also said I was talking about the stars. I hated the night. I hated looking up at the sky and feeling so insignificant. I hated the stars because the first time I really looked at them, I was on my back, bleeding from my first gunshot wound.

It could've been worse. That's what I kept telling myself.

It could have been worse.

No matter how many times I repeated the line, it didn't make me feel any better about the damage I could've caused her. It didn't make me any less upset at my wavering attention. I shouldn't have let that even happen. It wasn't that complicated driving down a straight road.

Her car wasn't really damaged. There were some scratches on it but that could be repainted. We were alive and safe. Alive. Safe. It could have been worse. Yet the desire to find pills burned like a flame in my chest because then I could forget, I could relax, I could be fine and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't care.

We arrived back home yesterday. Hannah had done a too up close and personal check up on all of us while Annabeth looked at Lacey's car. Annabeth hadn't said anything negative to me, but she gave me the stink eye when I came out to ask how bad the damage was. I couldn't tell if she was mad about me getting into a crash in the first place or the scratches on the car. I decided not to ask.

Now, Lacey was running along the edge of the farm for fun because that was the type of ludacris things she liked to do on a regular basis. She asked if I wanted to join and I just stared at her. My ankle still hurt, my arm still felt a little bit out of sorts, and there was an inferno in my chest. But I didn't tell her any of that because more importantly, I didn't want to run. It was tiring and stupid and I would rather walk blindfolded around Melkin than go running for leisure.

Instead of doing that bullshit, I was standing outside the dilapidated barn nearest to the house. Hannah and Annabeth were here with me, but the two of them were standing near the other corner of the barn a good distance away from where I was. It wasn't intentional. At least, I didn't think so.

Hannah looked nervous with her hands and arms folded around each other like a pretzel, held close to her chest. Annabeth looked unconcerned with her hands on her hips.

The barn was crumbling, with planks of wood missing and the paint on the wood that hadn't fallen off was peeling with great determination. One door was off the hinges and the other only sort of worked. The barn had a loft that was accessible through a rickety ladder. The loft led to a ledge that came out of the triangular peek of the roof. There may have been a door but it was long gone and when we looked earlier, we couldn't find it. I didn't exactly know why someone would steal the upper story door of a barn but that was their business. There was also no railing or balcony of any sort. The ledge came out two or three feet and then there was only wide open air.

Finn tiptoed to the edge of the ledge. "How much will you give me to jump off?" he asked no one in particular.

"Please, don't," Hannah pleaded.

Finn looked down at her and laughed. Then he turned and I thought he was going to do a backflip but instead, he started inspecting the parts of the barn's roof that he could see.

I tugged at the sleeve of my hoodie, slowly pushing it up on my arm without scratching it against my wrist. The tattoo I had gotten was still healing and tender.

Cameron appeared on the platform but didn't bother to walk out as far as Finn. He rested one of his shoulders on the doorless door frame and bit into what I thought was licorice but I didn't know where he would've gotten it from.

"What are you eating?" I yelled.

"Lollipop. You want one?" Finn answered, twirling the sucker in his hand around in the air a few times before popping it back in his mouth.

"I wasn't talking to you," I muttered, but I wasn't sure if they heard.

Finn took the sucker out of his mouth and turned back towards us. His voice carried probably over the entire farm when he yelled, "You can totally Titanic it up here."

"I thought you didn't see that movie," I said.

Finn shook his head. "I didn't."

In the distance, I could see Lacey rounding one of the corners of the farm. Her hair was pulled up and she had on athletic pants and a tank top that she'd gotten the other day from one of the stores around here. I wasn't sure which, as I still hadn't gone out to explore. I didn't understand how she could be in a tank top right now. It wasn't winter but it wasn't exactly warm, either. She said she warmed up during the run and that seemed like too much work for me. I preferred my walking pace and hoodie.

Finn grabbed my attention again as he flung his arms out wide and turned his head to look back at Cameron. "Titanic with me."

Annabeth groaned and palmed her forehead, "Stop using that as a verb, how many times have I told you?"

Finn looked down at Annabeth, "Are you upset?"

Annabeth didn't grace Finn with an answer and Finn didn't mind as he said, "If you're jealous, you can just say so. I'll Titanic with you."

"Shoot him," Annabeth said, glancing at me.

The words themselves were innocent but it caused me to stop breathing for a moment because I was back on the hill with Vik as he pointed out silhouettes and ordered me to shoot them. I clenched my jaw and rolled my shoulders so it wasn't obvious how still I went. I wasn't with Vik anymore. I was here. I was with my friends.

Finn used both of his middle fingers to flip Annabeth off before looking over his shoulder again at Cameron. "Bud?"

Cameron didn't move, didn't roll his eyes, didn't shake his head. All he did was say, "No."

"If you jump, I jump," Finn declared loudly. "If you say duck, I'll duck. Come on, huh? Huh?"

"I didn't get the lines from there," Cameron argued hoarsely.

Cameron closed the distance between himself and Finn, causing elation to come over Finn's face for about two seconds. Only, Cameron grabbed one of Finn's arms and shoved him toward the ledge he was already teetering on. Hannah made a noise of shock and disapproval.

One of Finn's legs swung out over the edge as his body angled itself to grab onto Cameron. The happiness was long gone from his face and his sucker fell into the grass below. Cameron, who still had a grip on Finn's arm, didn't let him fall but didn't exactly give him the space needed to get fully back on.

Finn laughed pointedly, forced, enunciating each of the three ha's that came out of his mouth. "Don't fucking do that," Finn sarcastically sang the words, aiming one finger gun at Cameron.

Finn grabbed onto Cameron's sleeve and was tugged back onto the ledge. The two started pushing and shoving each other lightly but they lost my attention when I heard a noise.

Behind me, a car crunched along the gravel driveway and I turned, expecting to see Ben or Carlos coming down the driveway. I did not expect to see a plain black sedan that I had never seen before. Hackles rose inside of me. Despite my panic at Annabeth's words earlier, I suddenly wished I had my gun on me. I wished I had any weapon on me.

Lacey's cop friend stepped out of the car slowly, with all the hesitation he should've had. He stood behind the open door, looking at the farm. I turned so that I was fully facing him, so if he wanted to arrest any of my friends, he would have to get by me.

"Whoop, whoop," Finn hollered behind me and his voice echoed through the trees around us.

Her friend shut the door which was a bad decision because it had been acting as a shield a moment ago. Then he walked closer to me which was poor judgement on his end. He stopped waking just out of my arms reach, a semi smart idea. Yet, he leaned forward with an extended hand in my direction.

"Hi. I don't think we've formally met, at least not under the best circumstances," he told me. "I'm Josh."

My own arms didn't budge. "I don't care."

Which was true. I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I really did not care about him. I didn't want to know his name. I didn't want to shake his hand. I didn't want him in my sights. He was too close.

Lacey vouched for him a little bit but that didn't matter to me because he still put her in harm's way multiple times. He was still a dumbass and the only reason he had helped us out was because he was getting something for himself in the end. I hadn't forgotten that the last time I'd seen this man, he told Lacey that he wanted to be the one to lock her up.

He frowned and withdrew his hand. "So, uh, is Cars- Is Lacey around?"

I narrowed my eyes. "No."

"Are you sure?" he asked, craning his neck to look at the expanse around us again but paused, eyes finding mine quickly. "Is she alright?"

I didn't respond to him.

He kept his composure as he said, "I was told she'd be here."

Keeping my arms by my sides, I rolled my wrists out, feeling them crack with the motion. "Are you here to arrest her?"

He reared back the slightest amount in surprise. "Me? No."

There was no amount of denial he could go through that would convince me he wasn't thinking about arresting Lacey even a little. Maybe if he wasn't here this time to arrest her, he was here to arrest one of my other friends. Though, I didn't even know how he'd found this place to begin with and how Ben hadn't known. He'd set up a few cameras already and sure it wasn't the full amount but it was enough for Ben to know a cop was coming.

"Then?" I asked him.

"She called me and told me to come out here," he said and then a small smile crossed his features, "And I owe her a thank you."

A moment passed with neither of us saying a word. I could hear chatter behind me from my friends but couldn't focus on them to pick out any words. Everything in me was zeroed in on the cop in front of me. I didn't want to get distracted and fail again.

The house was next to us and I knew someone opened it because it smacked against the wall of the house with ferocity. Someone clomped down the stairs and then there was a hand on my shoulder. I flinched away from it.

Ben stood next to me with his hand still in the air.

"Hey," he said with emphasis as he stared at me. I could tell what his eyes were saying without him speaking. Calm down.

I had no intention of calming down.

"Hey, sorry," Ben looked at the cop. "You got here early."

I craned my neck to Ben. "Early?"

"Yes," Ben said. "We talked about this. In the car." He paused after each sentence, waiting for me to register his words. "On the drive home. After our trip." Ben sighed. "We even called Cameron. Where were you?"

I frowned, trying to recall any of what he was saying. "I was in the backseat."

"That's not what I mean," Ben said and I knew that wasn't what he meant but I didn't care because I was still trying to figure out in what universe did I miss out on an entire conversation and phone call to Cameron to invite this self-centered idiot here. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know every single word that was said in that car ride that I missed. But I didn't want to give this guy the pleasure of seeing me ask about him like that and see how much he scared me.

"I remember now," I grinned and nodded and Ben's face said bullshit but I didn't care.

Ben tapped the back of my arm with his hand. "Go get Lacey."

I didn't move. I wasn't going to leave this guy alone with Ben of all people, even if they supposedly were expecting him for some fucked up reason. He could be shitting gold and I still wouldn't want him here.

"I'll go get Lacey," Ben said, still offering me no more insight into why this was happening.

Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe I was still on the ground outside Lacey's crashed car.

Ben gave me a disapproving look as he sauntered away and I knew that I was awake and this was real. I could never get Ben's anger right in my dreams. It had a way of eating through my chest in real life.

As soon as Ben was out of earshot, I took two steps closer to Lacey's friend. He wasn't much shorter than me but didn't stop me from ducking my head when I spoke. "I will only warn you once. If you try to handcuff or hurt her or any of my friends here, Lacey will sink a knife into your skin. And while you're running away, I'll put a bullet in your leg. And if you somehow get to safety, it doesn't matter where you go. Ben will track you down."

He stared at me and I resisted the urge to glance down at my newly inked wrist. There were three, tiny illustrations dotting it and my words were the exact reason and idea behind me picking the tattoo.

A small drop of blood, a tiny bullet, and a miniature GPS pin were permanently in my skin, on Lacey's wrist, and on Ben's leg. The items were less realistically shaded and more 2D illustrations to keep it simple and we were pressed for time. Lacey's drop of blood and Ben's GPS pin were similar in color, while my bullet in the middle of them was grey.

"You do not touch her," I repeated slowly, making sure he understood exactly what I was saying.

His coolness dropped away and he shook his head, resembling the scared little boy I'd seen in Melkin. "I won't. I won't."

He looked around nervously and cleared his throat.

"Hey, kid," Finn yelled right as an apple went flying by my head.

Lacey's friend ducked, barely avoiding the apple giving him a black eye. Finn's laughter filled the air.

"Can we go one day without someone being injured?" Hannah asked.

In front of me, he plucked at the ground to pick up the apple and stood slowly, hesitantly for just a moment before that coolness from early started to envelope him. He whispered, "Do you think he's still mad at me?"

I didn't know why Finn would be mad at Lacey's friend specifically, apart from the obvious reasons of being an absolute shitfuck. Finn didn't get angry often and when he did, ashes followed so the answer in my head was no but I still said, "Yeah."

Lacey came running toward us with Ben trailing her much slower. She ran right to my side, hugging me.

"Is everything okay?" she asked immediately, pushing me away from her friend.

What part of this situation was okay? The only thing I cared about was that she didn't seem surprised that he was here and that bothered me.

"You're sweaty," I told her, not answering because I refused to admit anything in front of him.

"Are you being mean?" she asked softly but I was sure her dumb friend could still hear.

A grin large enough to show my teeth coated my face. "I'm being as nice as I know how to." 

Are you happy/sad/angry/eh that Josh is back? Travis is definitely in the not happy category. 

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