___

I swim in and endless sea as the water gets more and more dark. I generate a glowing orb for a sense of light but it only drains my energy  more. By the time I see the familiar angel like face, I barely have the strength to drag him up. And by the time I do, I can barely breathe. I heave him onto shore and collapse myself, before everything goes black.

And when I wake up I can't breathe any better. I'm blinded by tears and my heart feels like it's being ripped apart. I hold his lifeless face in my shivering hands. His eyes that could once light up my whole world. They're gone.

I failed to save him.

I shouldn't have woken up.

__

I wake up feeling puzzled. The whole time I get my hair and makeup done I'm living in the world of my dreams.

I can't stop thinking about the brown haired boy.

Is it just a dream? Why do I keep seeing the same person?

In Sunwoo's room I stare at myself in the mirror. It's a short black dress this time, the neckline hugging my neck, and the end of the dress to the floor is just red detailed lace.

I look like I belong here now.

"You look nice, babe." Sunwoo comes out from the bathroom, putting his black blazer on.

"Thanks." I respond.

"Is everything okay? You look kinda out of it." He walks closer, placing a hand on my back. I feel the touch of his cold medal rings on my shoulder blade.

"Yeah. What is it we're doing tonight again?" I ask.

"Some kind of masquerade fundraiser." Sunwoo fixes his bangs and hands me the invitation.

House of Cards Masquerade it reads.

"Fancy." I say.

We drive with Changmin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae to someone's mansion where it's being held. They offer us eye masks with handles, various colors of red, black, and white. Decoratively detailed with gold and silver.

This is by far the fanciest place we've been to. There are red table clothes on every table, with a card pyramid in the middle of the circle of wine glasses.

And it's crowded. It seems like an entire branch of organizations are here and it's even more intimidating when I can't see their faces.

I follow Sunwoo around for a while as he greets people and shakes hands with them. I stand beside him and he rests his hand on my waist.

I look up and across the room to meet the eyes of someone staring at me.

It's as if the world around us melts away.

His familiar brown eyes lock with mine, and his even more familiar light brown hair sticks out from behind his mask. But I don't need to see his face to know who he is.

It's him.

As soon as I see him my memories come flashing back. I remember my whole life suddenly, and him in it. I remember how I got here.

I lower the eye mask in my hand, staring at the boy all the way across the room. I pull away from Sunwoo, muttering excuse me, and I leave my mask on the table. If Sunwoo calls my name I don't hear him, I only focus on the boy I seem to have known all my life.

I grab the ends of my dress, walking faster through the crowds of people. I weave through them even faster, panicking as the boy slowly backs away. He exits the room quickly, setting down the tray he was carrying on a nearby table and disappearing into a hallway.

I sprint after him, entering the long hallway as he fast walks away from me.

"Jacob." I call his name, and he stops in his tracks.

I run towards him and he slowly turns around. I know he wants to run away but something gravitates to him and he stays here.

"Y-you... you died." I say, out of breath and in disbelief.

"It's nice to see you too," Jacob's lips turn into a smile. He's lost his warm glow, and instead his skin has turn pale and lifeless. His eyes look tired, as if he's aged years since I last saw him.

"I-it was my fault." I breathe out, piecing together the memories from my dreams.

"Iseul." Jacob says, in a more firm voice than I've ever heard from him. "I didn't want you to see me solely so you wouldn't say that."

"How can you say that? After I failed to save you?" I ask.

I suddenly remember when they were dragging me away to be punished. I sat in a carriage as they drove me out of town. Passing by the people I used to call friends and family, their voices still ring in my ears.

How could she let her best friend die?

Weren't they more than friends?

She deserves to be punished.

She's a muderer.

"Iseul," Jacob calls softly. "have you been well?"

"... I have. And now I'm realizing that I don't deserve to live well." I say.

"Don't say that. It was too late. It wasn't your fault." Jacob says.

"...But it was." I say.

"What can I do to make you stop saying that?" He asks.

"Tell me how- no- why you're here." I say. "You don't deserve to be in hell. I do."

"You won't like my answer," Jacob breaks eye contact for the first time.

"there's nothing that surprises me anymore," I let out a dry laugh.

"Well you know... when you- when you die," Jacob says hesitantly. "they grant you a wish. And you can't wish to be alive again."

"So it's true?" I raise my eyebrows.

"B-but I waited until they had come to a decision on your punishment because...well just because." Jacob explains slowly.

"You..." I feel a pain in my chest as I begin to guess what he wished for.

"So when they told me they were going to chop off your wings and leave you in the dark world, there was nothing more that I could think of." He says.

"No..." I whisper. "Please no." I shake my head over and over.

"And I wished that I could be wherever you were. But they made it so that I couldn't reveal myself to you, since you're still alive technically." Jacob says, with tears filling his pretty eyes.

I drop to the floor, guilt stabbing my heart and I feel tears running down my face.

"Why would you do that to yourself??" I scream. "You could have had a perfect afterlife. You could have lived in the clouds with everything you wanted."

"It would mean nothing if I knew you were here all alone." Jacob says, kneeling next to me and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

But I'm not all alone.

"Please..." I beg him. "Stop saying these things." I cry endlessly, realizing what an awful person I've been. and how he doesn't deserve me.

My soulmate, after dying, came to hell and back to be with me and I didn't even remember him. "But you know what I did to you! You don't deserve this."

"You didn't do anything to me." Jacob repeats. "And I wouldn't take back my wish for anything."

I cry and hit my fist against the floor. I guess I did deserve to be in this world all along.

"But here's the thing." Jacob adds, with a sudden liveliness in his voice. "I know a way out of here. Since my wish was so obscure, they told me that if I ever regretted it I could redo it. But they would only do so by turning back time to the original wish day. Anyways, I could bring us both back to the light world. And even though I wouldn't be living with you... I'll still be there."

My breath hitches and I look up at him. "You're joking."

"Why would I joke about this?" He laughs.

"I-I-"

"Isa." A sharp voice echoes down the hallway.

We both turn around to see Sunwoo walking towards us with an unhappy expression. He pushes Jacob away and holds him by the collar.

"Who the hell are you?" Sunwoo asks.

"Stop, Sunwoo. I'm serious," I pull him away. Jacob does nothing to fight back. He's the same as he always was.

"Who is this??" Sunwoo asks.

"He's-he... He's from the light world. Like I am." I say, and Jacob widens his eyes.

"Does he know you're...?" Jacob asks.

"Sunwoo does." I say.

"Are you an angel too?" Sunwoo asks, loosening his grip on the boy.

"I am. er, I was." He says. "I'm dead."

"Oh." Sunwoo lets go. "Um. I'm sorry? that's rather unfortunate."

"It's okay." Jacob reassures him. "I'm not here to harm Iseul."

"He's here to-to bring me back." I say softly, immediately regretting it when I see Sunwoo's face sadden.

"W-why? How?" Sunwoo asks.

"He's-" I'm interrupted by a loud crashing sound.

Sunwoo's phone rings and he picks it up. "Hello?"

"Sunwoo!" Juyeon yells from the other end. "He took it- our- our hard drive."

"The hard drive? Why the hell would you bring that to this??" Sunwoo's jaw drops.

"It was The Baron." Juyeon says, and Sunwoo drops the phone.

"Shit." He swears. "Shit shit shit."

the door swings open and a person dressed in all red carrying two large red sticks stands in the doorway.

"Great. Just what we need." Sunwoo says.

"Who are these people??" Jacob asks. "Who's The Baron?"

"Someone we can't give our information to." Sunwoo says.

"I'll get help." Jacob stands up, running the other way down the hallway, opposite from the person in the doorway.

"What's that??" I yelp, as they walk towards us.

"A red guard. From The Baron's military." Sunwoo says, and he seems to be contemplating something. "Look. I need get that hard drive."

"The hard drive?? What about this??" I motion towards the red guard.

Sunwoo furrows his eyebrows, staring at the red guard ready to attack us.

"It's a matter of life and death." He says.

"Um. I would say this is too." I argue.

"I- we don't have time to-" Sunwoo is interrupted by the red guard throwing a stick our way like a spear. It misses Sunwoo and hits the side of my arm.

"Ah." I feel blood trickle down my arm.

"Isa," Sunwoo says, in an awkward kneeling standing position as if he doesn't know whether to stay or run.

"Sunwoo, wait." I grimace, holding my arm.

"Im so sorry." He says. "If the baron leaves with that hard drive we'll all be in danger. I have to go in there and get it. I'll come back for you."

"..." I know he has no other option, but it feels like he's deciding between his work and me. And he's made his clear choice.

Sunwoo takes one last look at me before running and turning the corner back into the ballroom.

Im suddenly all alone with the red guard who's slowly walking closer to me.

I hear foot steps behind me and Jacob is back kneeling next to me.

"Use your magic." He says. "Mine don't work here since I'm not alive."

"I-I don't know if I can. What if it doesn't work??" I panic.

"You have to fend for yourself." Jacob says.

He's right. No matter where I go, I'll be alone. I was idiotic for thinking I wasn't alone in this world.