There were only two words in Feng Xin's head right now, 'This bitch'.

Fengxin and Mu Qing were currently in a meeting in the new palace of divine might. A meeting called by the heavenly emperor Pei Ming about the state of affairs in the south, a topic Feng Xin normally was proud of, but right now? Right now was the exception.

The south was a complex place, it was co-protected by Fengxin and Mu Qing, and its citizens bickered about their gods and who was better just as much as the gods themselves. As to not go utterly insane with the two gods, Jun Wu had made Mu Qing the protector of the southwest, and Feng Xin that of the southeast, a system that worked. But just because it worked that doesn't mean the set-up wasn't a tenuous one.

"So the city that was ravaged by ghosts is in the east?" Emperor Ming asked, turning to look directly at Feng Xin.

It was true, that the incident had occurred in the east, and it was entirely Feng Xin's fault. He had spent the day of the incident dealing with a 'crisis' of far less importance, a shrine with a certain, incorrect, name had been built that day. This 'crisis' had drawn all of Feng Xin's attention, and that of his subordinates as well, who he forced to all work on solving the 'crisis'.

"Yes, it was in the east," Mu Qing replied before Feng Xin got the chance, Feng Xin's rage levels boiled so high he didn't even hear the rest of Mu Qing's sentence.

"Sigh, You two are dismissed then, just do better nextime," Emperor Ming replied. The part of his new job as the emperor he hated most was policing the behaviour of these two, a job often falling into his lap when Xie Lian was off canoodling in Ghost City.

Feng Xin seethed with anger as he and Mu Qing calmly walked out of the Palace of Divine Might, the one location where Feng Xin held his tongue. As soon as the two were on the avenue, and the great big doors behind them had closed, Feng Xin screamed at Mu Qing.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? YOU- YOU- YOU BITCHY IMMATURE EXCUSE OF A GENERAL!!" Mu Qing was visibly taken aback at this, a surprising reaction considering how often he heard these comments from Feng Xin. But Mu Qing didn't retort, he just stayed silent as Feng Xin Continued, "I KNOW IT WAS IN MY TERRITORY, BUT I COULD'VE ANSWERED THAT, I DO NOT NEED YOU ANSWERING FOR ME LIKE IM SOME BABY TOO SCARED TO ORDER AT A RESTURANT!"

Mu Qing's eyes filled with rage, no, the rage wasn't right. He felt exasperated right now, he felt immensely annoyed, "Are you fucking KIDDING ME!?!? I COVERED for your ass in there, and you have the GAUL to yell at me!?! ME!?!? Oh wait, you probably stopped hearing what I said after your immature ass heard me speak and just flipped out by default."

Feng Xin was at a loss for words, he usually had plenty to use; fuck, bitch, or even shit. And if none of those worked he had the old reliable word ass and its many forms, asshat, asshole, asswipe, all of which were staples of his conversations with Mu Qing. But right now, none of those fit, so he was at a loss. "I- I- I... But you still- still should..."

"Are you serious?? I LIED to the emperor for you, I made up some bull shit about the ghosts coming from my territory so the fault was shared. I LIED to the fucking EMPEROR and you still scream at me?!!" Mu Qing was beyond irritated, beyond annoyed beyond exasperated, he was done. "I can't anymore, I can't, I've been trying and fucking trying since Tonglu and you just won't stop. I extend you an olive branch and you pull out a fucking axe."

Feng Xin didn't say anything, just stared at Mu Qing who was, for the first time, making a semblance of sense to Feng Xin. He understood why Mu Qing did what he just did. Feng Xin understood what he had just done to Mu Qing afterwards. Lastly, Feng Xin understood why Mu Qing was so, so mad.

"I'm done, I'm fucking done, I try and I try, but you just don't want to change, don't want us to change," and with that Mu Qing left, he just left. There was no physical altercation or long screaming match from which they needed to be separated. Mu Qing just left Feng Xin to stand alone on the avenue of divine might.

It was a few moments before Feng Xin spoke. To all of those watching, and to himself, it was a huge surprise when instead of yelling 'FUCK YOU' he called out "Wait, Mu Qing-", but the Mu Qing gave no reaction and just continued towards his palace.

Feng Xin laid pursuit of him and called out again, "General Xuan Zhen, Look at me!"

This time Mu Qing did react, but only by manner of hastening his walk, widening the gap between him and Feng Xin.

Feng Xin continued to call out as he broke into a light jog, "Mu Qing, just stop for a second," He then used a word towards Mu Qing that he rarely uttered, "Please, just stop walking away,"

This time Mu Qing actually did stop, but not before he broke out into a full-on sprint the rest of the way to The Palace of Xuan Zhen.

Feng Xin who by that point had almost caught up, broke out into a sprint as well, but he reached the door of the palace just as it was slammed shut.

Out of breath, he slammed both fists onto the door repeatedly, as his own way of knocking. It was a good few minutes of continuous knocking before someone opened the door.

"Mu Qing-" Feng Xin started before he noticed who opened the door,

"General Nan Yang, I am terribly sorry, the General is extremely busy with prayers."

'He sent a fucking subordinate to deal with me?!!' is what Feng Xin wanted to say, but after a sufficiently long sigh, he chose a more reasonable reply, "Can I leave a message for the General then?"

The subordinate paused, hand at his temple, "No, have a good day," was all he said before shutting the door in Feng Xin's face.

'Did that son of a bitch use his fucking communication array to have me sent away!?!' Feng Xin was beyond livid, not only did this man not see him face to face, Mu Qing had his subordinate dismiss him without even hearing him out. Well if Mu Qing wanted to play the telepathy game, then Feng Xin would too.

He muttered Mu Qing's password, something he remembered with surprising ease, what didn't come with surprising ease was access to Mu Qing's communication array. 'Did he change his password??! No, no, I used it just last week for- doesn't matter.' Then Feng Xin paused, and it dawned upon him that 'HE CHANGED IT JUST NOW DIDN'T HE!?!? FUCK!'

It was that simple change, a passphrase that he was embarrassed he even remembered, that pushed Feng Xin over the edge, around the bend, off his rocker. "FUCKER!!"

Feng Xin had now truly gone mad, he now began trying to break into the Palace of Xuan Zhen, but the door was locked and sturdy as an oak, all windows were placed far beyond shrubbery, and the walls were very high. 'But, not impossibly high', not for someone as skilled as Feng Xin.

So he began to climb, over the wall and into the courtyard of Mu Qing. Feng Xin had never been back here, only ever having been 'welcomed' into the foyer of Mu Qing's home. It was stunningly beautiful. The courtyard was a never-ending garden full of unique plants beautifully trimmed and colour-chemed. From the bushes of luscious greenery to the small pond with lotus, to the orchids, to the small cherry tree in full bloom, it was all so beautiful.

But Feng Xin didn't break into Mu Qing's palace to look at flowers, he came to find the man himself, so Feng Xin began inspecting the windows on the wall of the palace. It was high on the third floor that he could make out the silhouette of someone. They lay, with their head in their arms, at a desk next to the window. 'That has to be him!' smirked as he now crept along the courtyard wall, to that of the palace itself and began to climb up the wall.

He easily made it up to Mu Qing's room, surprisingly he remained unnoticed by the deputies of the Palace of Xuan Zhen, sure to enrage Mu Qing. Normally Feng Xin would be giddy at the chance to tell Mu Qing something like this, to intentionally aggravate the other, but right now, he wasn't here to do that.

But if not to aggravate, then why was he here? This question gave Feng Xin pause, but that pause was ruined as the window of Mu Qing's room swung open, narrowly missing Feng Xin's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Mu Qing yelled at Feng Xin, "Why the FUCK can't you take a fucking hint!!" His eyes were red and swollen, his hair was messy, and his tear-stained cheeks shone in the afternoon sun.

'has he been crying'?!' There was no mockery in Feng Xin's mind, no condescension, only a deep and unrelenting sense of regret. Regret for it all, for screaming at him, for coming to his home, for breaking in, for the last eight hundred years, and most especially for the last few months, the months since Mt. Tonglu.

Mu Qing, just stared at him, "Why are you here?" defeat in his voice,

"I came, I- Um," Truthfully he didn't know Mu Qing had interrupted him before he could figure that out for himself. Feng Xin's body took a nervous step back, forgetting where he was, and he soon plummeted.

Fear immediately swept across Mu Qing's face, he moved to reach his hand out to save the other but stopped himself halfway. It wasn't like he could've stopped Feng Xin's fall anyway, but it was the action of stopping before he really tried that ripped Feng Xin's heart to shreds.

Feng Xin fell and thudded on top of the cherry tree he had seen earlier, the force of his fall causing the tree to uproot itself and fall on its side.

Seeing this caused any and all of the fear on Mu Qing's face to warp itself into a teary rage, In a broken voice he yelled two words before slamming his windows shut, "GET, OUT!"

Feng Xin just lay on the ground as a flock of deputies surrounded him and threw him over the wall back out onto the avenue. Once on the avenue, he stayed still, ignoring the stares other gods from all levels of heaven gave him, and he realised why he had come, 'to apologise'.

* * *

It had been two days since his interaction with Mu Qing, and Feng Xin hadn't slept a period longer than a minute since. He would lay awake at night staring at the ceiling of his room, or he would pace his palace. Over the last two days, Feng Xin had repeatedly tried to use Mu Qing's spiritual password, but it was to no avail. 'Is he seriously going to go through the trouble of telling people a new password just so I don't know it?' Feng Xin thought to himself, but he already knew the answer.

Feng Xin had spent the time since their last meeting waiting, taking 'action' only with his utterances of Mu Qing's former verbal password, but that counted for nothing. He had spent these last two days neglecting prayers, neglecting to keep an eye on his territory, neglecting himself. His hair was a mess, his skin covered by a greasy sheen, and his face was dragged down by eye bags of immense proportion.

Two days of waiting for something to happen, but nothing would, and Fengxin knew it. So today he would make that thing happen, make something happen, make anything besides a deeper descent into madness happen.

"I'm heading to the Palace of Xianle," Feng Xin called out to one of his deputies as he was halfway out the door, it was the first time he had spoken to a deputy or left the palace in days. He had spent a few bitter moments in the garden, but the constant thoughts of Mu Qing's own meant those moments brought Feng Xin no peace.

"General, wait!" One of his deputies called out, fear plaguing their voice

Fengxin stopped, turned on his heel, and with a tone sharp enough to cut through steel he asked, "Wait for what?"

The deputy cleared their throat, "It's just that- um, you might want to freshen up, before visiting his Highness,"

He wanted to be annoyed, but the deputy was right. It was bad enough for his mind to be a mess, but his appearance as well was quite a few steps too far. 'What would His Highness think if he saw me like this, AND heard the advice I ask for? What would Mu Qing think if he saw me? Would he pity me, sympathise with me? Would he even care at all?'

So Feng Xin headed back inside, and after an intense session of cleaning and grooming himself, Feng Xin once again headed out the door, this time actually heading to the Palace of Xianle. As he walked along the avenue of divine might he noticed people move from his path, and he noticed the constant stares of other heavenly officials.

'I guess staying home for a few days drew some attention.' He thought to himself, paying no attention to those around him, eyes trained directly forward as he strode onwards, 'I wonder if he heard, he did this after all...' Normally Feng Xin would end a thought like that with a series of curses, but he hadn't the energy right now. And even if he had the energy, he lacked the desire.

When Feng Xin arrived at the Palace of Xianle he knocked, not even sure if Xie Lian would be home. When not on a mission, most of His Highness's time was spent down in Ghost City these days. He knocked three times and in a much more polite manner than when he knocked on Mu Qing's door.

There was no reply at first, and just as Feng Xin was about to turn around, the door swooped open from behind him,

"Sorry," Xie Lian panted, out of breath like he had just run a marathon, "I was- not near the- door"

"It's no worry," Feng Xin was always formal around His Highness, his speech patterns now were such a stark contrast to the incoherent mutterings of the last two days.

"So, why did you come visit? And without sending a note, you used to always send notes," Xie Lian seemed to have regained his breath for the most part,

"I am sorry for no notice, it's just a little bit of a- ehm time-sensitive situation," Feng Xin looked behind him as he said that, it was midday and the avenue of divine might was not far behind him, gods of both courts looking for the daily gossip would likely jump on any chance to snoop.

"Ahh, I see," Xia Lian said, "Well let me invite you in, I'm being such a terrible host,"

Feng Xin quickly moved inside, the Palace of Xianle was by no means a small building, and by no means not fancy. But when compared to that of other heavenly officials it was certainly less glamorous in appearance, fitting of Xie Lian and his outlook on life.

"Here, come have some tea while we talk," Xie Lian ushered Feng Xin into his kitchen before he lit a small fire on his stove. He certainly could use spiritual power to heat the water, but Xie Lian always claimed 'tea tastes better when made the mortal way'.

Fengxin took a seat at Xie Lian's table, staring intently at the grain of the wood as if he were planning to paint every detail of it. He regretted coming, he didn't want to do this, he didn't want to say why he came here, or ask what he would have to ask. But he didn't come here because he wanted to, he came because to get what he truly wanted, he needed to come here.

It was an incense time or so before Xie Lian came and sad next to him, setting two cups of tea on the table as he did, "So what brings you here?"

"It is an uhm, personal, issue," Feng Xin's eyes stayed trained on the table, "with Mu Qing,"

"Ahh, I should've guessed! It's only when he is involved you come to me. So what was your argument this time, did you two break something?"

'No, you've got it all wrong, I don't want to complain about him, I want to see h-' Feng Xin ended that trail of thought abruptly as he began to speak, "Well when we were in The Place of Diving Might two days ago, apparently he gave me cover infront of Emperor Ming, but I didn't even notice and just yelled at him as soon as we left the palace,"

"How did you not notice?" Xie Lian asked, Feng Xin's level of denseness often impressed him.

"I was too angry- It doesn't matter, the important part is after I yelled at him, he yelled at me telling me how he helped me, and how he had been trying, and just said he was done before running away. No, before I chased him away."

"Well while I'm sad you two aren't friends of course, but- this isn't anything new, what else happened?" Xie Lian asked, always the detective.

"I didn't let him run, I followed him back to the Palace of Xuan Zhen, and-" This part was something that he was horrified he had to admit in front of His Highness, "and I climbed the walls of his place to try and break in,"

Xie Lian's face didn't change very much at hearing this, it was depressing that he was so used to Feng Xin's antics that he wasn't even shocked at such a crazy action.

"I reached his window- but when he opened it, I- I did not know what to say, and I did not know why I was there," Feng Xin then took a sizeable swig of his tea before continuing, "And he just looked like he felt horrible, his eyes were red and- and his cheeks? And his hair, it was all a mess, and– and it was because of me, wasn't it?"

Xie Lian didn't reply only nodding softly as he listened to Feng Xin's story, "And then only when I was falling did I realise why I went there. I wanted to apologise, but-, but it is hard. I mean apologising, saying I was wrong, is hard for anyone, but for us? It is- it is just worse."

"So I fell down and just lay there while his guards threw me out, I just felt horrible, and not just because of the tree that stabbed my back,"

Surprisingly it was that last part that Xie Lian reacted to, "You fell on a tree? In Mu Qing's garden? Please tell me it wasn't cherry?"

Shit.

"It was, why? Was that tree important?" Feng Xin grew more and more worried with the second, not only did he affect Mu Qing mentally, but he broke a prized possession as well. It wasn't like Feng Xin hadn't done these things before, but something was different now. All the joy from it was gone, and all that was left was crushing regret.

"Well-" Xie Lian sighed as he continued, "That tree was grown from a small bowl of cherry pits I found in the Xianle royal tomb. I don't know how they got there, or how I missed them until recently, but I can only assume they came from the orchard at Mt. Taicing."

Shit, Shit, Shit, Fuck.

"So that tree was a final remnant of the Xianle kingdom?" Feng Xin was horrified, the effect of his mistakes was compounding with each detail he realised. "And it was one of the last connections he woud have to his mother?"

It looked like it physically pained Xie Lian to reply, but after a moment, he said one word that crushed Feng Xin even further "Yes."

Shit, shit, shit!

"So what can I do, how do it fix it?" Feng Xin replied, for some reason, he cared right now. He cared about Mu Qing, he cared about their relationship, and he cared enough to fix it, or at least try.

"Fully fix it, I'm not sure." Xie Lian replied, blunt as ever. "But make a start? You have to show you care, show you want to do better- You to want to do better right? To change the relationship you two have?"

"Yes," Feng Xin replied simply, he knew something needed to change, they needed to change.

"What do you want it to change into?"

This question wasn't so simple, what did Feng Xin want? Did he want them just to be colleagues who don't fight, did he want them to be friends, or did he want something else, something more, something deeper? Feng Xin paused to think, but he didn't know.

Sigh, Xie Lian's face full of dismay "You have to know what you want, to expect to get any semblance of it."

"It is not so simple," said Feng Xin, "I have never considered anything other than fighting with him... but since Mt. Tonglu, I guess he has thinking of the future, and maybe I should have been too,"

"Well, you have to start considering that now. Think about what you want out of your relationship with Mu Qing, and then think about how you can show that to him."

"I-" Feng Xin was full of pauses today, "I do not know if I can show him what I want, especially when I do not know what I want."

"Well he tried to show you when you were infront of Emperor Ming, but you didn't let him. It's your turn now, hard as it may be, you gotta suck it up and put the effort in."

Feng Xin didn't say anything after that, he just sat while he finished the tea Xie Lian gave him. As he stood up to leave, he saw a small decorative hairpiece on the table, 'Is that, Mu Qing's?

Xie Lian noticed Feng Xin's gaze, "Oh, that's Mu Qing's he was here yesterday, I guess he forgot it. You wouldn't mind returning that for me would you? I assume you'll be seeing him soon enough if all goes well."

"Of course your Highness, it is no trouble at all," Feng Xin picked up the hairpiece, gently turning it over in his hand, it looked gorgeous of course, but seeing it now, he couldn't help but think how much better it looked in Mu Qing's hair.

Feng Xin bowed to Xie Lian who walked him to the door.

Once Feng Xin was already a few steps out the front door, Xie Lian called out to him with a smile "I know you wan't more than this, make it happen!"

"Thank you." Was all Fengxin replied, and while he walked home he kept turning the hairpiece over in his hand. There was only one thought that lingered on his mind, 'Something more is the obvious part, but what?'

* * *

Xie Lian shut the door, and called out "You can come down now, he is well down the walk!"

Mu Qing carefully crept down the stairs, peeking around corners as he went, unsure if Feng Xin had really left the palace.

"I told you he left, I'm not going to lie to you like a child," Xie Lian replied with a small chuckle,

"I believe you, I am just- overly cautious around him." Mu Qing finally finished his way down the stairs and went to the same table and even the same seat where Feng Xin had just been. "What did he ask you about?"

"You, he seemed really distraught," Xie Lian replied, turning his kettle back on, all of this emotional support had tired him out!

Mu Qing huffed, "He is always angry about something I did, even when I try to be nice to him he won't see anything but a reason to be fucking furious."

Xie Lian sighed, he did that often around these two, "I said distraught, not frustrated. He seemed worried about you, he seemed concerned. He cared," Mu Qing still held his chin in its upturned position of displeasure, but his face softened.

"Wait, where did my hairpiece go?" Mu Qing had taken it out when he got to Xie Lian's home as it was stabbing the back of his head. No matter how hard he had tried that morning he just couldn't focus on what he was doing, just couldn't get it to sit in his hair correctly.

"Ahh, that," Xie Lian replied with a subtle smirk making its way across his face, "He took it with him,"

"WHAT!?" Mu Qing's face turned red, completely red, but not with rage, "Why would you do that!! Now I have to face him!"

Xie Lian brought the tea he just finished over to where Mu Qing sat, "Is that really so bad? You two need to talk to each other eventually,"

"No we do not, I said I was done with him, and I meant it." Mu Qing didn't even bother to turn his chin upwards in defiance, but rather just buried his face into his arms as he rested on the table.

"He isn't ready to be done with you, and I don't think you really want to be done with him." Xie Lian said, "You just want to be done with the relationship you two currently have,"

Mu Qing didn't reply, just groaned as he rolled his head in his arms, why did everything with Feng Xin have to be so confusing, so complicated?

"I know you don't want to be done with him Mu Qing, so think about it, what do you want." Xie Lian placed a gentle hand on Mu Qing's shoulder while he spoke, "You don't need to tell me, but you need to know for yourself. When I met San Lang, I knew he was special, and I always had a vague idea of what I wanted with him, so it was easy to make the final jump, but I know you two have a history, and that makes things, different. But don't make this harder on yourselves that it needs to be."

'Did he just compare us to him and San Lang? Are we- like them?' Mu Qing unsurprisingly was offended at the comparison, not because of what it insinuated, but because of Hua Cheng.

'Wait, not because of what it insinuated? What did it insinuate, and was that really what Mu Qing wanted? What Feng Xin wanted?' Mu Qing's head hurt and all he wanted was to go and sleep, 'Was this what I had wanted for the hundreds of years of history they shared? What Feng Xin wanted?' no, there was no way. They loathed each other, I mean they only ever fought, that's not how people who felt that way acted towards each other, was it?

At least it shouldn't be.