They were on Theo's balcony. Jerky, mugs with tea, and a candle in between them.

"So," Ava said and took the havcera cigarette Theo handed her.

"So," Theo repeated and took a bite from a piece of jerky.

Ava laughed and looked at Theo for a crumb of anything to start a conversation. They had been sitting in silence, smoking, and snacking for a few minutes. Theo had been the one to suggest talking. Theo had also been the one that ran away so it was only fair to expect her to start.

"You're a nox," Theo said, it was toeing the line between a question and a statement.

"I kissed you which means I think you are attractive so does that answer your question?"

"Not really. Just because you find me attractive doesn't mean you are a nox. You could be a pirious," Theo said.

Ava had heard the term referenced before. Cooker had explained to her that there was a broad range of words attributed to certain experiences. Pirious were indifferent to gender when picking a partner. There were nuances with each term and each person had a slightly different meaning to it. Cooker had explained that there was an inherent clash when it came to describing things and trying to universally apply it to people. Baethos was large and the cultures and systems present throughout it differed. A lot of times the definition of a word had been molded and changed to fit the current needs of the group.

Cooker gave a good example one night when Ava had brought up the question of a certain couple on the ship. Anjiri and Fal, a nox couple that had come onto the ship together. Anjiri was a woman and presented as such but Fal wasn't. Fal was what the pirates called omkei, genderless. Ava asked how a couple made up of a woman and an omkei could consider themselves a nox couple when nox meant a woman who is a lover of women. Cooker had explained that while that was the original meaning of the word, it had morphed and molded into something new. Noxes were united in their experiences and that experience was the lack of attraction to men, not necessarily solely the attraction to the conventional sense of womanhood.

Ava knew that regardless of the personal differences people had when assigning themselves labels, she was a nox. She was not attracted to men and in turn that did not make her indifferent to gender.

"I am a nox," Ava said and she surprisingly felt a weight lift off her chest.

It was the first time she had said it and not felt uncomfortable or unsure about it. For the entire cycle, since she had figured it out, she had been second-guessing herself. Telling herself the things she had heard her family say: it was wrong, it was unnatural, it was because she was going mad. She was just only pretending to be attracted to women to stand out and feel special. These thoughts were ones she had to actively fight against. It was hard, she couldn't just unlearn and untrain her mind to stop them from creeping in. It had been 16 long lengths of being indoctrinated with a false reality and she had to work to avoid letting it infect her life again.

"And you kissed me because?" Theo asked and took the havcera from Ava.

I like you. I cannot stop thinking about your lips. Your touch sends lightning bolts down my spine.

"Your face is kind of nice to look at. Can't complain much about it," Ava said and took a sip of her tea, hiding her face behind her mug. She kicked her leg out and nudged Theo's thigh with her foot, "you're not off the hook. Why'd you kiss me?"

"Your face is kind of nice to look at," Theo shot back with a smirk.

"Then why'd you run away?" Ava pressed, she wanted to know more than anything. Theo had kissed her back the first time and initiated the second. The attraction was clearly there so why did Theo run?

"I freaked out," Theo shrugged.

"Clearly. That's a nonanswer though."

"I don't know, I guess I convinced myself I was coming onto you and that I was taking advantage," Theo admitted.

"I kissed you," Ava restated for Theo's peace of mind. Ava didn't know what Theo had been thinking, it made her sad to think of Theo beating herself up over a rash move made by Ava.

"I know that now. I messed up by running off. I didn't trust that you knew what you wanted."

"I do know what I want," Ava said firmly.

"Aye? And what is that?" Theo asked.

You, Ava thought.

Ava didn't answer with that though. If Theo was flighty before over a kiss then she needed to tread carefully. Such a forward advance would have untold effects and Ava had no idea where Theo's head was at. The pull to each other was undeniable but any emotions Theo might have had were hidden. Ava was not only trying to avoid scaring Theo off she was also trying to protect herself. Theo was still unknown to Ava, there were so many things that she needed to have answers to before she could think of anything concrete.

There was that and the issue of Ava's nobility.

Ava took a bite of jerky and chewed while thinking of her answer. She swallowed and reached over for the havcera.

"I had never known happiness until I left home. I went 16 lengths without knowing who I was or where I belonged," Ava shrugged, "I just want to enjoy life. I want to be free. I want to kiss someone I'm attracted to just because I want to. I want to make up for all of the time I missed."

Ava had played it pretty safe, she felt. Theo didn't react badly either. Ava took a drag from the cigarette and held it in her lungs before exhaling a large puff of smoke.

"You've chosen the right profession if you want to make up on lost time then. Only way to fully live your life after a classification on lockdown is to do all the illegal things you missed out on," Theo said and Ava snatched the last bit of the cigarette away from the captain.

Ava chuckled and finished off the rest of the havcera before throwing it into the sea, "This goes both ways. What do you want?"

"I am up for anything. I am in your hands, Ava Ableworth," Theo chuckled a bit. "You know me, just living the pirate's life."

"Anything?" Ava asked and Theo nodded..

Ava blew out the candle and they were left under the moonlight. She pushed the snacks and mugs to the side and shifted onto her hands and knees. She began to slowly crawl towards Theo. The Captain got the hint and spread her legs so Ava could crawl in between. Theo's eyes followed Ava's movements closely and once the redhead was close enough, Theo pulled Ava into her lap. Ava bent down and closed the gap between them, kissing Theo for the second time that night. Theo put her hand on Ava's waist and Ava thought she would melt straight onto the wood.

This was definitely something Ava could get used to.

--------

Kissing was something Ava had gotten used to. Their routine remained largely unchanged, work, and job responsibilities throughout the day and then their quid pro quo training at night. However, stolen kisses in dark hallways, and the corner of empty rooms became the norm. Ava had gotten really good at it, at least she thought so. There would be no reason for Theo to keep coming back if it was awful.

Ava felt as if she was walking on a cloud for suns after their talk. The air had been cleared, there was no pressure on their situation, and she could get a taste of Theo's lips anytime she wanted. Or, anytime when they were alone. They hadn't discussed keeping it to themselves but neither of them had made a move to tell anyone. Ava wanted to run to Oceane to update her on what was going on but Oceane had a big mouth and she wasn't sure telling the entire lower deck was wise. It was new, they had only been at it for five suns and Ava didn't want the information to spread before she had understood the full scope of the arrangement.

Ava had assumed that when they spoke on the balcony, her intentions were clear. She had thought that her point had come across. Ava wanted more than just kissing. She wanted the whole package and when Theo said she was in Ava's hands, Ava thought it was an agreement on their arrangement.

She had assumed wrong.

Theo didn't want sex. Or, at least not with Ava.

Every night, Ava had tried to push their steamy make-out sessions into something more. She had subtly tried to move Theo's hand to riskier places but Theo's hand would not budge. It would stay firmly planted in safe and innocent places. Like one night, Theo was in her desk chair and she had started to get frustrated with the lesson. Ava sensed this as Theo had begun to drag her heels when it came to reading the words on the page.

"For every word you get correct, I will kiss you for a minute," Ava had leaned in close to whisper.

Theo perked up and it was the motivation needed to finish. Out of 30 new words Ava had written out for Theo to practice, she only messed up three times. Ava's solution was a win-win, Theo stayed engaged and Ava got to kiss the Captain for a long, long time. Theo enthusiastically pulled Ava onto her lap once the lesson was over. Ava straddled Theo as best she could in a chair too small for both of them.

"I was promised something," Theo stated, head resting against the chair as she looked up at the redhead.

"I can't seem to recall," Ava chuckled and then was pulled forward into a kiss.

As more and more time passed, the kiss was getting increasingly friskier. Ava's belly was burning and she wanted more. She remembered the night she had in Niveal and her brain was screaming at her to get a move on and start the action already. Ava tried to figure out a way to get it across that she was interested in more. She had never been in that position before, having to ask someone for sex and she wasn't quite sure how to do it. Ava thought subtlety would work.

She tried to get Theo's hand, which was situated on Ava's hip, down further. She shifted, shimmied, and swayed but Theo's hands were firmly planted. As if she belonged to the classifiers and touching Ava anywhere but her hips was a punishable offense. Ava stopped trying that night. Theo knew how to have sex, Ava had heard it firsthand, if Theo wanted Ava then it would have happened. Ava was not in the business of forcing Theo or making her uncomfortable.

If Ava could not muster up the courage to bring it up then she would have to deal with the consequences. The consequence being Ava being driven to a breaking point. She knew what she was missing and if she didn't get it soon, well, she wasn't sure what would happen. There were times, like these, where she realized just how little life experience she had. Her dilemmas were ones her peers were having four or five lengths before. Furthermore, she had no one to give her advice. Ava was going to have to pull up her bootstraps and speak to Theo about how she was feeling.

Gross.

--------

Ava was driving Theo to an absolute breaking point. She was all Theo thought about and it was getting to a point where it would have been less painful to climb on top of the crow's nest and dive belly first into the water. Their nights together were still productive. Ava was getting better at combat and handling weapons by the sun and Theo was making slow and steady progress with her reading. However, when responsibilities were out the window and Ava would get close, Theo would start to unravel. Theo had never been the type to exhibit restraint. She wasn't necessarily impulsive but when she wanted something she went for it.

And, fuck, she wanted Ava.

Theo wasn't the type to go city to city sleeping with any random woman that showed interest. But while it might not have been every city, Theo had been known to engage in courting and sleeping with women when she felt it was needed. Theo was no stranger to sex or how to approach women about it but when it came to Ava she would freeze. Theo hadn't been that nervous around someone since her first time. It was a mix of reasons and Theo knew that. It wasn't like before where Xyra had to smack sense into her head, Theo had a good idea of her problems.

First, there was the issue that Ava was unlaid. Theo had never been with someone unlaid, not even her first time. She didn't know how to approach the situation. Ava asked a lot of questions and Theo was afraid she would not be able to answer any of them. Theo did not want to be the reason that Ava had a bad experience and she was wary of that every time their lips met. Second, there was the issue that Ava was her crewmate. There was one thing about slightly fooling around with each other but sleeping together crossed major lines. Theo needed to fully understand how that would impact her crew and Ava. The last thing wanted to do was have Ava believe there was preferential treatment because they had a special connection. Or even worse, feel the need to advance with Theo just because she couldn't say no to the captain. Lastly, there was the issue of Theo liking Ava. Sleeping together would make it that much harder to step away from Ava. If Ava ever found out there was an emotion bubbling beneath the surface, she probably wouldn't have wanted to move forward either.

But from where Theo was standing, Ava wanted things to progress just as badly as Theo. There was a lot of squirming and repositioning during their exchanges and Theo had hooked up with enough people to know the 'let's move forward' clues. But Theo kept freezing. She kept winding it up in her head and worrying about all the what-ifs and moral implications of it all. She would get so lost in thought that the mood would be ruined sometimes. She would nonchalantly end their kissing and say something pressing was occurring and Theo needed to attend to it.

Theo knew she needed to let Ava make her own choices and she was. Not having sex with Ava was less about Ava's own good and more about Theo's. As much as Theo wanted it, there was no way she could initiate that conversation. She could only be expected to have one mature, civil, and difficult conversation about her personal life every cycle, and that credit had been used. So Theo let herself be tortured. She didn't push Ava away but she didn't let Ava get any closer.

When she awoke that morning, five nights after their candid conversation on the balcony, they had finally arrived in Alenroux. A trip that was supposed to take only 15 suns ended up taking closer to a cycle. Alenroux was small and not much could be done there except restocking on the bare necessities. There were no leads or information on the disappearances to collect there since the only connection they had in Alenroux had moved inland a few lengths before. There was not a lot of shopping to be done either as there was a limited selection of clothing, jewels, and trinkets. Their neighboring city was the one that specialized in those items, Alenroux was rich in resources and farming but not much else.

Since there was not much to do and Theo had not been on land with Ava in quite some time, she offered to show Ava around. Being near the border of Safriti, Alenroux regularly conducted business with Nefritians and Eloxians. There was less of an immediate danger to the citizens of these border cities because rules were laxer and the guards were less on edge. It was a phenomenon seen in many border cities in Safriti. The more power-hungry and ambitious army soldiers and guards were sent more south while those in the service deemed weak-willed or unwillingly to carry out harsh demands were seen stationed at busier, more diverse cities.

Even with the lessened policing, it was still dangerous to locals to be among them casually without any way of deterring the fact that Ava looked as if she came straight from the shores of Elox. Theo suggested Ava take Morgana's hooded coat to hide her hair and her eyes, they were going to be traveling into less business-y areas and Theo wanted no harm to come to anyone they saw. Unlike before, Ava neither complained nor asked questions. She had understood her role and her duty to keep herself hidden.

They woke up early, Theo sneaking into the lower decks to shake Ava awake. Once Ava was ready and dressed in the proper attire, they made their way into the city. It was still dark outside and there weren't many people on the street. Alenroux maintained the same rock and wood architecture as the rest of Safriti but the buildings were far and few between. In the distance, surrounding the port and the small town were massive quarries and a few grain mills. Theo had frequented this place many times so the stark contrast to the way the rest of Safriti looked was nothing new to her. Ava, though, was fascinated with the differences and kept pointing them out as they kept going forward.

"Oh, there aren't many shops here."

"Everything is so spread out."

"I've never seen a pit that big," that one was an off comment as they passed an abandoned quarry.

"Do you think it's hard to work swing a pickaxe all day?"

With all of the comments and the questions, Ava hadn't stopped to ask where they were going. Theo was waiting for it but the question never came, Ava just followed blindly. Theo wondered how Ava had made it to them in one piece, not a scratch on her. They passed the town and walked for miles passing farms and mines. There were times when a path disappeared on them and they were left to walk through gravel and rock. Finally, they made it to the base of a steep rock formation.

There was a small path edging up around the side of the mountain. It was only big enough for one person so Ava took the rear. Theo carefully led them up, making sure to keep a steady pace as to not slip and fall to their deaths. Ava was quiet the whole way up, focusing too much on not slipping. They got to the top before the sun had risen but the slightest bit of light was filtering into the night sky. There wasn't much on the top of the rock, two wooden houses, and a few benches scattered about. One of the houses was lit up inside and the other was dark.

"Where are we?" Ava finally asked.

"I'm bringing you to the best place to break a diet that consisted of stale biscuits and dried meats," Theo chuckled and led her to the front of the house that had a glow coming from inside.

Theo knocked three times on the door and it opened only a few moments later.

"Teo!," an elderly man opened the door with a large grin, "Pika, guess who is here!"

The man hollered and walked into the home, Theo and Ava following. The entire first floor of the house had been gutted and replaced with tables. It was Theo's favorite place to eat in the whole of Efriti. Her first captain would bring her, Xyra, and Cooker when they would pass by Alenroux. They had mostly dealt with merchant ships up and down the east coast of Efriti so they frequented the small home often. Pika and her husband Bari had been running the restaurant there for two classifications. They were old but still made the most delicious food she had ever eaten.

An elderly woman with glasses sitting atop her head emerged from the kitchen yelling, "Bari, you need to quiet down! I can hear just fine."

She hobbled out and wiped her hands on her apron. She squinted as she looked around then spotted Theo and threw her hands up in delight, "Oh sweetheart! Oh, Teo! Look how big you are."

"You say that every time you've seen me. I haven't grown a bit since I was 13," Theo chuckled and walked forward to envelop Pika in a hug.

"I still imagine you as that little girl, running around under my tables and causing trouble," Pika patted Theo on the back after their embrace broke, "Who is this?"

Pika nodded over to Ava and Theo motioned for Ava to take her hood off. Ava did and Pika tensed up a bit. Bari had already retreated into the kitchen to fetch something and didn't catch a glimpse. After a small second, Pika offered a tentative smile as Ava spoke up.

"I'm Ava, nice to meet you," Ava extended her hand and Theo shook her head. Ava put her hand away.

"Pleasure," Pika smiled tightly, "have a seat. Make yourself at home. Teo, I've got something to show you. Follow me."

She took Theo's hand and hobbled into the kitchen. As soon as they were out of earshot, Pika made a disapproving noise.

"You know I serve all types here and I won't send her away but you gotta be careful, my child," Pika said, "Eloxians are usually trouble and that one reeks of a last name."

Theo said nothing in response. Pika wasn't wrong. Out of the dozens of experiences she had with Eloxains, they were rarely ever good. Ava was the only Eloxian with a last name that she never felt like stabbing. Cooker would have made it on the list but Theo wanted to stab her at least three times a cycle. Pika herself had been pushed out of her home as a child by Eloxian guards who occupied it. Her parents were murdered in front of her for resisting. There was one thing to passively interact and make small talk with an Eloxian but to eat meals with one was rare in Efritian and Aelizan culture.

"I am being careful, Pika," Theo promised, "She's helping me learn stuff. She's not all bad."

Pika simply nodded and led Theo to her upstairs bedroom. She was slow but eventually made it. She pulled out a gold necklace from her drawer and placed it in Theo's palm. Theo held it up and inspected it. It was a thin gold chain with something dangling from it. A dagger with a snake wrapped around it. She rubbed her thumb over it with a smile. It was Aelizan, the dagger being the symbol of Aeliz and the snake being the symbol of Zaridios.

"Had a nice young man pass through here. He was from Aeliz, visited Zaridios, and went digging around the rubble and found this. Had it polished and everything. He had no place to stay and no money for food so I sheltered him and he gave me this," Pika said and placed a hand on Theo's chest, "I know you don't have much from home, I want you to have this."

Theo felt the tears threaten to break and it took all of her willpower to keep them at bay. She pulled Pika into a hug and whispered a thank you. It truly meant a lot. There were few things that she had from her home island and none as personal as that. Before she let herself get too emotional, she excused herself back to Ava but not before placing an order with Bari in the kitchen.

"Your small old lady friend doesn't like me much," Ava pointed out.

"It was that obvious huh?" Theo chuckled and walked over to the table Ava was at, "Pika just needs to get used to you, that is all. Once you get to know her, she'll love you."

Theo extended her hand towards Ava and Ava tilted her head confused but took it anyway. Theo pulled her up quickly. She walked them over to a large window and pulled the curtains back. She pulled a table and some chairs over.

"This is the only way to eat here, looking out into the ocean," Theo said.

"You spend your entire day looking at the ocean, aren't you tired of it?" Ava chuckled and took the seat that Theo provided for her.

"Never," Theo smiled, "I feel lost when I don't see her. I never quite feel at ease when I'm surrounded by land."

Ava didn't answer, she just looked back out at the ocean. Theo watched Ava watch the horizon and she understood well the fascination on Ava's face. This was the best view in all of Safriti and the sunrise from up there was marvelous. Most of her crew visited Pika's restaurant when they were in town but Theo liked to beat the rush. She got one on one service and got to witness nature painting a beautiful picture, the early wake-up time was always worth it. Theo finally turned from watching Ava to watching as the first rays of the sun broke through the horizon. Pink and orange filled the sky.

Theo was pulled from the mesmerizing view when both Bari and Pika came over and set down several different plates each. There were meats, vegetables, fruits, and starches. Bread and cheese, fish, chicken, beef, steamed vegetables, fresh ones too, bowls of brightly colored rice, and a large platter of fruit. There was nothing on the table that was usually eaten for breakfast except the fruit.

Ava gaped at the amount of food in front of them, "I figured they would bring out a few pastries, not a full course feast."

"Pika is the best cook in Efriti. Eating only her breakfast would be a disgrace to her skills. Trust me, as soon as you taste it you will regret you even questioned eating this for breakfast," Theo said as she began to pile different items onto her plate. She wasted no time in taking large forkfuls of food and shoveling it into her mouth. She loved the sea but hated that it meant shitty food and a general lack of everything. Rose did her best and the food wasn't always bad but after 25 suns at sea, even Rose couldn't save the state of the food.

Theo let the warm rice fill her senses with the fragrant aroma the spices in it created. She coupled it with the tender and juicy meat on her plate and she was revived from malnourishment in an instant. The fruit was ripe and sweet and the vegetables were just the right amount of steamed. She was too busy to speak and so was Ava. They scarfed down as much as they could until they could fit no more. Theo let out a series of burps that allowed her to take one more mouthful of rice before she tapped out.

"Fucking shit," Ava said with her mouth full, leaning back against the chair with a hand over her stomach, "I might have to marry her."

"I think she's a bit out of your league," Theo teased and then slowly pushed herself to her feet, "C'mon, I have more to show you.

"Theo, please. I cannot move, give me a second," Ava complained.

Theo threw ten gold on the table and started to walk out with a smirk on her face, "You can walk it off."

Ava clambered to her feet and jogged after Theo, it was fun to be the Captain. Theo shouted her thanks to Pika and Bari knowing that they would be too busy in the kitchen to come out and say goodbye. She let them know that she would come back and say goodbye later and leave some more gold for them; they were always undercharging her crew when they came and they needed to break even somehow. Theo walked them out and to one of the benches overlooking the water. The sun was higher in the sky but it had yet to illuminate everything in the morning sun.

"Thank you for thinking of me," Ava said softly after a while of staring off into the ocean.

"Hm?"

"When you decided to come up here. Thank you for thinking of me and bringing me," Ava elaborated.

"It's no issue, Red," Theo smiled and looked over at her companion.

Ava looked at Theo too and grinned. They stared at each other for a moment before Ava scooted closer to the bench. She leaned in slowly and Theo met her halfway with a soft and slow kiss. Theo pulled away after a short while and slowly opened her eyes to find Ava's green ones staring at her. They were silent, not breaking the gaze. They hadn't shared a kiss that intimate. There was no urgency or other motive behind it. Ava just wanted a short and sweet kiss and the thought of that gave Theo butterflies. Theo couldn't stop smiling, she had to bite her lip to stifle it.

"What else do you have planned for today?" Ava asked.

"I was going to take you down to this secret beach I know of if you want to do that," Theo offered.

"I don't know how to swim," Ava admitted.

"You signed onto a pirate ship and you don't know how to swim?" Theo raised an eyebrow.

"I've never been inside the ocean or a lake, there was no use to learn," Ava chuckled, "But I would still like to go."

"I'll make sure you don't fall into the water and drown," Theo jokingly promised and offered Ava an arm.