Why did I fall for her?

Maybe it were her eyes,
Brown like a pool of chocolate
I ought to drown in;
With an eyebrow sleek
Like the blade of a fern.
Or was it her skin?
Elegantly toned;
A shade of peach with a tinge of glow,
Which bestowed a natural pink blush
All over her.
Could've been her lips,
Shaped to perfection,
With a natural pout which made her
A kisser's heaven on earth.
Or was it her hair?
Like waves of the vast ocean,
Curls of a leaf tendril,
A hue of black pitcher than a starry night-
It'd turn Van Gogh green with envy.

I still remember
The maiden time she crossed my sight;
My eyes overwhelmed with beauty.
Since then, every little talk we had
Spawned me to paradise.
And every moment that we spent
Stirred in my already messed up memory
Like gems in a mine.

Oh, dare I forget-
The night we kissed;
When her soft and warm strawberry lips
Melt between mine.
Goosebumps,
As she brushed her butterfingers across my hair
Whilst my fingers ran along her glossy cheek
'Till I gently clasped her waist.

-Only to be struck by the lightning of realisation
In the form of a highly pitched wake-up alarm
That 'twas all a dream.
Obvious as it was-
For kissing her was too glorious of a privilege
For me to deserve.

Though her precious heart was already won and conquered by another man,
A bond of love too strong to break,
A mere friendship was all I was craving for.

The crush- sweet as nectar as it was,
I nourished it's flavour every night;
Dreaming, thinking, fantasising.
But nectar in time turns to poison;
Which by all means, it did.


Vulnerable to trust so am I,
The beans soon spilled out of the bag
Until she got to know 'bout her secret admirer.
Loyalty and insecurity made her stay away,
But my love for her never faded away.
Furthermore it bloomed
Like a cactus inside my head
'Till it started prickling my brain.

Everyday I used to gaze at her from the corner of my eye,
Intimidated by her awe,
Like a crow to a swan;
Though deep inside my endless bedlam of inner-voices,
I knew I was too inferior to deserve her.

Optimism was even worse,
It turned fantasies into expectations;
Like a mole expecting itself to carve a mountain, a trait which I couldn't control.

Every night I cried, I cribbed,
Believing that I don't deserve her;
I pleaded for the crush to fade away.
But as addicted as my brain was to her beauty,
It never did, as it'd turned to a parasite
Feeding on my psyche.


As sand slipped down the time-glass,
The crush on her blurred to a daze,
Quite of a triumph, I must say.
However at times I do sit back and wonder-

"Loving can heal,
Loving can mend your soul"
So says Ed,
Which wasn't quite the case for me.
Though Chris Martin's words
"Life is a drink
And love's a drug"
seemed more relatable.
Contradictory as it seems- Love is ironic,
For I've seen broken souls being fixed through it.

But one thing's certain-
Love shows no mercy.
It could be a spell
Which could make a soul bloom;
For it can make you feel belonged.
Feel accepted. Feel appreciated.
But love can also be an enchantment
Which could exile you into a never-ending
limbo of hopelessness.

So what is true love?
Love from a mother.
Love from a father.
Love from a friend.
And though pretty rare,
Love from a soulmate
Who truly cares.

In conclusion, what is love exactly-
Boon or bane?
Blessing or curse?
Bud or bullet?
The answer to this question,
Is yours to fathom.

                                              -effkay🖋