The sun lowered in the the evening sky with an explosion of warm colors emanating from it, fading from yellow to dark orange to pink to lilac and darkening blue. The smear of colors reflected upon the water; the line where sea and sky met became blurred. The two boys sat side by side, chewing on watermelon and grapes. This time, Lance looked out, but his gaze was hesitant. 

"You still haven't tell me what's going on." 

"What do you mean?" 

"What is it about being here that's making you act like this? You're usually not so...quiet? Is it...me?" 

Lance turned to give him a look of disbelief. "What? No." 

"Then...?" 

The sunny boy sighed, then hugged his knees to himself. 

"The last time that I was here, I almost died." 

"Lance, you're not being dramatic or something are you?" 

"No really, I literally almost died. I told you about this already!" 

"I really don't think you did--"

"Well, the last time I was here I was surfing and something happened...before I knew it everything was upside down, I was under the water and I couldn't get back up, even though I know  what do do when that happens, I just couldn't...move. It was...I just can't bring myself to get back out there." 

Lance let his vision raise to the waves meeting the shore. The smell of the ocean was just enough for him to remember the taste in his mouth and feel weightless and powerless once more. He shivered. 

"Allura saved me that day. If she hadn't, I don't know what would have happened. She keeps asking me to come out here again but I can't let her know that I can't--" 

"--Why not?" 

"Because, I don't know...it's embarrassing? I don't want her to see me scared like that." 

"What's wrong with being scared?" 

"Hey, I didn't ask you to psychoanalyze me." 

Keith threw his hands up in defeat. "That wasn't my intention." 

"Whatever." Lance shrugged, his gaze moving down again. 

Not like you'd understand. 

"It's not whatever." Keith said as he stood. "Let's go." 

"What??" Panic set into Lance. 

"Yeah, let's go, we don't have to fully get out there." 

"Keith, I--" 

"Are you coming or not?...Bud?" Keith cackled. 

"This isn't a joke!" 

"Sorry sorry, but how else are you gonna get over this?" 

"How about I don't!" Lance groaned, then took shaky steps towards Keith and the shore. "I'm gonna kill you Flower Crown." He said, his words coated with fear and poison. 

"Come on! Listen, I promise that I'll make sure that nothing happens to you." 

Lance scoffed towards the other boy's general direction then cuffed up his pants legs to just under his knees. He followed Keith who had taken a couple steps into the water to where it barely went higher than the middle of his shins. 

"It's not so bad!" Keith called over the sound of the wave arriving at the shore. He still stood a couple paces in front of Lance. A proud looking smile was painted over his face while Lance's head was focused down on each step that he took. 

The feeling of the water against his skin made him hyper-aware of everything that was around him: his feet sinking in the wet sand, disappearing as he went deeper, the color of the water becoming darker and the white noise of the waves swelling, becoming louder and louder. Lance's breaths became heavy and shallow while his heart felt as if it was beating in his throat. 

Oh God. Not again. 

"Keith wait! Don't go any further, I can't--" 

"Yes you can! Meet me right..." He took a few more steps backwards, now a little over his knees. "...here! Careful, it dips a bit." 

"This is as far as I want to go!" 

"Lance! It's just up to your knees, nothing is gonna happen! But if something does I'm right here." 

He gave Keith a nervous nod and scooted onward, eyes still down. 

"You're not helping yourself by looking down, just--look at me!" 

A wave swept past him forcefully, causing his anxiety to rise.

"Did you hear me?!" 

Lance's head rose to see Keith standing with the brilliance of the sunset behind him. The glow of the setting sun at the horizon made it appear as if he was shrouded with an ethereal glow. The outline of his body was framed in golden light. 

All of the air in Lance's lungs escaped. 

Wow. 

"Just a couple more steps!" 

Lance strode towards Keith with his feet moving freely without his mind to tell them to stop. He took another step stumbling as he went down the bank that dropped. 

"I said be careful." Keith said, reaching out to grab his arm to keep him from falling. 

His hand's warm. 

"Uh--thanks." 

He regained his composure and stood next to his companion with his eyes finally lifting to the sea. Keith's hand fell from where it had wrapped around his arm. The feeling of his grip lingered on Lance's arm. 

"Want to go any further?" 

"No. This is good for now." 

"Next time." Keith said as the corners of his mouth turned up. 

"Next time?"

"Let's go back to the shore and dry off." 

When they two of them reached the beach, Lance felt as if he could finally breathe again. He knelt down with his hands resting on his knees for a moment on the shore and let his toes wiggle reassuringly into the dry sand by their towels. Thankful breaths escaped past his lips. 

"I think we need to document this moment." Keith said as he swooped up the Polaroid camera. 

Lance flashed him an exasperated look. 

"Just the one!" 

"Fine." 

"Go stand by shore, by the water." 

Keith held up the camera as Lance did as he was told. The flash of the light stained his eyes for a couple seconds. 

"Give it to me, I'm going to take one of you too." 

"O-of me?" 

"What did I just say? Stand with your back to the water." 

Lance peered through the viewfinder to place Lance in the little square. The sunset didn't look the same as it had before, but it was close enough. Click. 

Keith grabbed it as it came out. 

"You didn't make me look stupid did you?" 

The sunny boy snatched it away. 

"I'm holding onto it--so you don't loose it."

Keith shrugged and flicked the Polaroid of Lance that was slowly appearing. 

"Then I'm holding on to this one...so you don't loose it." 

                                                                                                ~*~ 

For a couple more hours the two boys sat and talked while the watched as the sun finally disappear from the sky for the moon to take over full and white. The twinkling of stars emerged as well scattering the dark blue landscape in irregular patterns. The light from the downtown area softly wafted over to them until it was snuffed out by the sea. Keith couldn't see all too well but Lance had turned out his phone flashlight to light up their area a little. Lance had been playing his favorite songs for him, telling short stories behind them like where he had heard them for the first time, or if his dad had introduced him to the song. Each song was different and fascinating, as well as every story. 

With the strum of guitar, Lance gasped. 

"This song is one of my favorites! Listen..." He turned up the volume. 

The crooning of the singers mixed with the softening hush of the waves. 

"It's the Beatles. It's called Here, There and Everywhere. My dad's a big Beatles guy. He taught Veronica to play the guitar part a long time ago. Over the summers he would play this song and we would all sing along." he sighed. "It's about a girl, but I think that it can mean a few different things: they talk about how loving someone is wanting to be around them everywhere, that's what makes you complete and if you've got that, then you don't have to worry. It's kind of like a promise too, saying that you'll be there no matter what. I kind of feel like that with my family, I don't know who I would be if I didn't have them, everything I do is for them." 

They sat in silence listening as the song finished. Keith's head swam with thoughts and emotions that came crashing together without restraint. Somehow he felt tears sting in his eyes. 

It must be so nice to have all that. A family; to feel like that. 

He blinked them back. 

"Still, it is a love song. Best I've heard. I hope that one day I can feel that same way for someone." All traces of anxiety that Lance had held before melted away. Listening to his favorite song, he had never looked calmer. 

Keith reached into his backpack and took out the white box. He opened the lid revealing a single Hibiscus flower. Lance turned to watch him take it out and briefly twirl it. 

"This is uh...for you." 

With shaking fingers, he tucked the flower behind the other boy's ear then rubbed the petals as he positioned it. 

"Oh, thanks." Lance's eyes fluttered around, but didn't land upon the boy across from him. 

Even though he was only illuminated by the light coming from the flashlight, seeing him like this made Keith feel dizzy. 

"I bet I look super cute right?" Lance sat up then flashed is regular cocky smile. 

The dark haired boy breathed out his words, "It suits you." 

Keith took a deep breath as he felt his chest tighten up. His heart beat in his ears with a deafening rhythm. 

"Lance I like you." 

"You like me?" 

Keith nodded as his knees began to tremble. 

                                                                                                  ~*~ 

"We said that we be ourselves, and you told me that I should--" 

"--I didn't mean tell me." 

Lance's ear's felt red hot with anger or embarrassment, he couldn't tell. 

"Keith, what are you doing?!"

"What am I doing? Telling the truth is what I'm doing. I can't keep lying to you and myself, I know that we're friends but--" 

"The why are you telling me this?? Wha-what did you think you would get out of telling me this?" 

Lance's chest rose and fell with a confusion that felt like it was suffocating him. His head felt as if it was throbbing as he tried to make sense of Keith's expression which was looking more and more fearful. 

"I can't keep it in anymore!! I'm loosing my mind Lance and you aren't really making it any easier, I guess I thought if I said something maybe you would say something back." he quickly licked his lips. "Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden? Inviting me to things, hanging out when you have never looked my way and you just keep coming back! An-and don't get me started on her, can't you see how unhappy she makes you--" 

"So we're talking about my girlfriend now? Is that what this is? Are you jealous of the time that I spend with her and not with you? She's my girlfriend Keith what the hell do you expect? The world doesn't revolve around you you know!" 

"Stop fucking twisting my words!" 

Lance stood up and paced in the sand. He rubbed his temples with his index fingers to the tune of Keith's angry inhales below him. He whipped back around. 

"Did you think that by telling me that you like me that I would say that I like you back?" 

Keith stammered, "I-I don't know Lance, actually I don't know why I fucking said anything. This is exactly what I thought could happen--" 

"Then let's forget it!" 

"No." Keith stood up to face Lance. 

"My feelings for you aside, as your friend, I can tell that it's hard for you to be with her Lance, she can't see you for who you are; how I see you, I can tell that it's exhausting for you and you don't deserve that...you shouldn't have to be scared. It's okay to leave--" 

"No! Shit, it's not, I'm supposed to be with her, she-she likes me and no one has ever liked me like that." 

"Lance?" Keith took a couple steps closer. "That's not true. The value that others place upon you isn't what makes up your worth. Please listen." His expression softened as he took another step. He looked up slightly to the boy who was a couple inches taller than him. 

Lance's whole body trembled in disbelief as he heard Keith's words softly trying to calm him down. He wanted to revolt, to scream, but his muscles felt weak and he felt terribly heavy. He felt like collapsing. For a moment he took a breath in, deep and long, along with it he smelled something that he had before. 

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" 

Lance nodded. 

"Look, I don't care if you hate me for having a crush on you, you don't ever have to see me again if you don't want to. But please, stop doing this to yourself." 

"What?" 

"I know what I've done by saying what I did."

"No, Keith, that's-not it, stop--" 

The wind from the sea forcefully rushed past them and whipped through Keith's hair. It danced and sprawled all over his face but he didn't seem to care. While he looked like he was slowly shattering the smallest hopeful smile began to form on the corners of his mouth. 

"You'll think about what I said?" 

Before Lance could respond, Keith had turned around to begin packing up his things to leave. 

"Stop! What are you doing?" 

"I'm leaving." 

Lance reached out and grabbed Keith's arm with an iron grip. "I said. Stop." 

The other turned without Lance's arm letting go. Lane's head rang with millions of questions  all clambering together, cursing at him and yelling into his ears. He tightly shut his eyes as he silenced them. 

Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. 

"Keith wait, sometimes I get these thoughts, I don't know what they are, they don't make sense I shouldn't-I shouldn't..." 

He opened his eyes to see his hand still tightly holding on to the pale flesh of Keith's arm. He stared at it for a moment as he felt the warmth sink into his own skin. He then looked to the other boy standing across from him giving him that same look. That damn look. Lance felt himself slip away like he had fallen so deep into himself that his body had become a shell of what he once was. The only thing that mattered was that tiny bit warmth consuming him as the rest of his body fought the freezing cold. He took one last breath like it was his last before his head fell underwater. 

He grabbed Keith's shoulder and pulled him closer; hard. His hand moved upwards to find the back of Keith's neck where he pulled again colliding his lips with the other boy's in a way that felt desperate and terrified. His eyes quickly shut as he moved his mouth over and over the other's sloppily. His mind couldn't take notice of the fact that the other boy was kissing back with as much severity as he was. Upon the tip of his thumb he felt the wetness of tear; his or the other's he couldn't know. Both of them took in breaths hastily in and out of their noses with cool air. 

One buzzing thought emerged. Why did you do that? 

Lance's hand fell dead from Keith's arm and circled into a fist. 

He punched Keith with all his might. 

                                                                                           ~*~ 

Keith tasted blood in his mouth. He had landed in the sand backwards. It had all happened so fast he was still reeling from he sensation of having Lance on his lips. His cheek ached with pain and his vision had blurred making the boy standing above him seem blurry. The world spun around him erratically melting together. Lance's loud sobs echoed off the stone walls a few steps from them. Keith couldn't organize his thoughts into a way that made sense; anger and exhilaration became hard to tell apart. 

"What the fuck Lance." 

Keith wiped some blood that had began to leak onto his lips. The waves crashing into the shore now somehow sounded angrier. 

"I-I just, I don't know--" 

He rose again, stumbling to the babbling boy who was running his hands through his hair. Keith swallowed the furious bile that stung in his throat once he saw Lance spiraling. 

I know what that feels like. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 

"Are you done?" Keith plainly said, which earned a nod in response. 

Lance sheepishly dried his face with the palms of his hands and sniffled. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did...I'm sorry." 

"Don't ever do that again." 

Keith's heart ached to hold the boy close to him, but was fearful for what another touch might mean. 

"I won't, I promise."  

The two of them stood each caught up in their own cyclone of questions.

"Are we talking about the punch or...?" 

The dark haired boy sighed, greedily playing back the kiss in his mind. 

No, God, I want to kiss you so much more. 

"Just don't do anything stupid that you'll regret. Come on, lets just get out of here." 

Lance took in a shaky inhale before taking a step forward. "What I was trying to say before. I get these thoughts. Little things; I don't know why I do. They sometimes come and go in passing but..." he looked up to the wide web of stars across the sky. "I think about you Keith." 

"You think about me?" 

"And I think I've thought about doing...that...fuck, kissing you. Before. That day in your room. There's something about you that makes me think about you, like sometimes when you're not there."  

Anger seeped back into exhilaration and Keith's heartbeats quickened like they had around the sunny boy so many times before. Even though Lance didn't know how to say it, Keith knew exactly what he meant. 

"And I don't ever want to hurt you again, it's just...what I just did, it felt...different; good. But I-I don't know--" his tone became more and more hesitant. "I'm supposed to like her, I'm supposed to be with her--"  

"--Lance, I think about you too." 

Their eyes locked, with words unspoken and spoken filling the air and finally meeting in the middle 

Suddenly he had taken the steps between them to vanquish almost all the space that held them apart. Keith hadn't realized how close they had gotten to the water. He watched as his toes sunk deeper into the wet sand disappearing slowly, then all at once. He wondered what it would be like if the earth swallowed him up and took him in farther and farther away from where he stood. It didn't seem all that unrealistic. Softly the waves lapped against the shore, their white and foamy fingers lacing around his ankles.

"There's nothing to be scared of." he whispered to the other boy. 

This time slowly they came together, more sure of themselves when their lips touched, moving over each other with a carefulness as if both were trying to hold on to the other before they would be torn apart. Keith had grabbed onto one of Lance's shoulders with the other cupping his face then wove his fingers through that chocolate brown hair he had longed to feel. It was the softest thing that he had ever felt, and it slightly tickled the spaces between his fingers. Lance's fingers too found their way in and around the long locks of his own hair. He wantonly ran his lips over Lance's then moved them to his cheek and under his jaw finally lightly placing kisses on his neck in ways that he had only ever dreamed of before. He quickly went back to the other boy's lips pouring out every bit of longing and affection that he had stored away. 

"Don't go." Lance had breathed between kisses. 

On the lips of the other boy Keith smiled, "Don't you go either." 

                                                                                                ~~~

Before I get into the other stuff, a lot of you probably know about what is happening in North America right now and I think that this is something that really needs to be discussed. I personally believe that we all have a responsibility to not turn a blind eye to the terrible injustices of the world and use our privileges to lift up the voices of others, educate ourselves on racism and call it out wherever we encounter it. This link: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co has a bunch of resources and ways for you to help take action to support BIPOC folx right now and always.

Lemme tell you guys, Keith REALLY likes this boi, previously, Keith had wished that Lance would find love even if it wasn't him because he just wants him to be happy! He knew that telling him about his feelings he could jeopardize their whole relationship, b u t he also wanted to follow his heart and say something even if it meant Lance would say it back or it meant it was the first step towards moving on :')

Lol these chapters took me a loooooong time to write. Back when I started planning this fic I knew that I wanted the confession scene to look like so I tried to add in lots of blurbs from those original plans which ended up making this part really phat haha so that's why I made it a 2 part thing.

A few of the scenes in these chapters are inspired by fanart by the amazing Kiilea! Please check out their Tumblr! https://kiilea.tumblr.com/

Also Happy Pride Month! Writing about Keith and Lance is something that is really special to me and it makes me so so happy reading the stories that you guys write about them too! In a way, writing about them lets me tell my own story too since a lot of the things that they have felt I have too. I'm ~pan~ and this is my first time saying it on the internet <3 I'm sorta out sorta in but everyday I'm just trying to be myself :)

If you've read this far thank you so so much!

Next time: Lance and Keith figure out who they are to each other while Lance tries to find what to say to Allura.