THE THRILL OF NEARLY DYING FADED QUICKLY. It always did. Asra felt alight as the fake Ferolind when they first set out, and the show with Oomen had only helped. The first night on the Ferolind had been bloodshed and bandaging and savouring the looks everyone had given her. The shootout had been wild and unexpected and everything she loved. The bullet had been stronger than any shot. Patching herself up on the deck had been the closest thing she knew to peaceful.

The only calamity had been Inej.

Asra had taken to high ground. She loved the thrill of seeing the world above, and a fight was no different. She'd raced along the crates stacked along the harbour, making the place almost labyrinthine. Asra ran along the tops, leaping over walkways, pistol in hand, wind in her hair, nerves alight. It was the best she'd felt in months.

Oomen's voice hit her like last call.

"Ghezen! I've got Brekker's Wraith!"

Fuck. She knew she should've kept heading for the ship. Inej could handle herself. And catching the Wraith was like catching shadow. Impossible.

Despite it all, Asra found herself leaping to the crate below. She grabbed the corner of the crate by her side and swung towards Oomen's voice. She ran and ran with a new urgency, one she hadn't known before and one she didn't want to again. Or at all. She was worried for Inej, a girl she'd hardly known and knew wouldn't like her. Yet that didn't stop her racing along the crates, quicker somehow when Oomen's scream cut through the foggy air. She knew that scream well. If Oomen had kids, he wasn't getting anymore.

Oomen had been on his knees. Asra had glided to the floor with the quick silence she'd been taught long ago and came up behind him. He didn't hear her, and jumped out of his skin when Asra spoke.

"Got the Wraith, eh? I don't see her."

He'd glared at her over his shoulder, then spat.

Asra had beat him for a long while. Longer than she should've. She hit him till his face was little more than blood and bruises. She only stopped when more Black Tips swarmed her. Asra had looked, and in that split second Oomen had shot through her arm. She'd turned and ran, climbing up onto the crate and following the trail of blood Inej had left.

She clambered to the next crate. Inej had lay there, dark tunic darker with blood, dagger pressed to her chest. It would slide between her ribs and straight to the heart. Inej really did know her knives.

Asra had gripped her wrist. "Let's not be dramatic now, Wraith."

Her eyes had fluttered open. "Asra?"

"The one and only." She'd looked at her body, trying to find the wound. It was too dark. There was too much blood. "We need to move. I'm gonna carry you, okay?"

"Did we win?" Inej asked as Asra scooped her into her arms. She was light as anything, slim. An acrobat's build, Asra had thought dimly. She could've sworn someone had mentioned Inej as an acrobat once.

"I don't lose, Inej." She'd stood, glanced down at the grunts clambering after them, took off at a run. "This is gonna hurt."

She leapt and landed on the next crate over. Inej had shudded in her arms. Asra had stumbled. She wasn't used to carrying someone else. She didn't let it stop her.

"I don't want to die." Inej had murmured.

"Don't worry, I won't let you." Asra said, grinning slightly despite it all. Fear was her lever, and death her friend. Death was the first thing she'd known, the only thing she'd really known. She'd been made in death's image, its soldier and servant. She'd served it well. It owed her this. "You there, Wraith?"

She'd shuddered again. Asra had held her closer and kept running.

That was days ago now. Almost four days since they'd set off and Inej had nearly died. She could remember the weight of her in her arms, lean and light. Asra didn't know what she cared so much. Of course, the plan likely wouldn't work without her, but Kaz would come up with another. She'd be fine. They'd all be fine. All but Inej. Maybe. Asra didn't know why she cared.

The ship didn't help her sleep. If anything, it made it worse somehow. Asra never particularly hated the sea. She never particularly loved land either. Sleep would just never come to her, and Asra had long since come to terms with it.

So it was no surprise when Asra was awake at midnight. Kaz was in a particularly foul mood since boarding the Ferolind. The sea didn't seem to agree with him. Did Dirtyhands get seasick? Asra laughed at the thought.

She'd decided against her quiet nights with Kaz. It wasn't the same on a ship somehow, and Asra didn't think she could survive a whole night of silence and stillness. She needed to move, think. The deck had become her night-time go-to. She was slowly grinding a pathway into the deck with her relentless pacing. Back and forth, back and forth, stuck going nowhere no matter how hard she pressed on, like a ghost never taught to haunt.

She barely noticed Nina till she spoke, stood in the doorway to below deck. "Inej is awake. She wants to see you."

Asra faltered. "Why?"

Nina shrugged. "You saved her life. To say thanks, I would guess."

She turned and headed back down. Asra followed. Saved her life. Asra didn't think she'd ever saved a life before. She was much better at ending them.

Inej was still pale, still sickening to look at. She still lay on the makeshift bed she'd inhabited for the last three days. Asra hadn't visited. She'd just left her in Nina's care and let the Heartrender do her work. Asra wasn't sure if she'd expected her to succeed.

Asra stood in the doorway, arms folded. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this awkward. "You wanted to see me?"

"I wanted to say thank you." Inej said. Her voice was hoarse.

Asra nodded. "If you die this whole plan falls apart, I suspect, so..."

Inej managed a smile. "Thank you, Asra. You saved my life."

Asra hummed, fidgeting.

"Why do you look terrified?" Nina asked, settled in the chair that had become her home on the Ferolind.

"I don't... I'm not used to doing.... this."

"Holding basic civil conversations?"

"Yeah. Most my conversations end with someone dead and/or bleeding."

Nina laughed. "You're right too."

Asra hummed again, hand drifting to her side. Nina had patched her up when that businessman stabbed her. Asra never thanked her. She didn't now. She turned back to Inej.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore, but I'll live."

"Good. I made quite a show of saving you."

Inej smiled again. Her eyes began to close. "Talk." She said to neither of them on particular.

"You're eyelids are drooping." Nina said. "You should sleep."

"Don't like boats. Bad memories." Inej said.

"Me too." Nina said softly. She looked to Asra expectantly.

She shrugged, still in the door. "I have bad memories of everything. I did once spend a rather fun week near the Ravkan coast with this Privateer, but I don't think that's the sort of story you'd like." And I was too drunk to remember most of it.

Nina rolled her eyes. She patted the desk beside her, as if sensing Asra's awkwardness. Maybe she had. Asra suddenly remembered why she never stuck around Heartrenders as she sat on the desk beside Nina.

"Sing something then." Inej said.

Nina laughed. "Remember what I said about wishing you were dead? You do not want me to sing."

"Asra?" Inej asked.

"Absolutely not."

"Please? Either of you."

"I only know Ravkan folk tunes and Kerch drinking songs." Nina said.

"Drinking songs. Something rowdy, please." Inej said.

Nina snorted. "Only for you, Wraith." She cleared her throat and began to sing. Badly.

"Oh Saints," Asra said, hands on her ears as Inej giggled and held her side.

"You're right. You couldn't carry a tune in a bucket."

"I told you that."

"Asra's turn." Inej said weakly.

"I don't sing."

"Please?" Inej said.

Nina elbowed her. "The girl nearly died. We owe her some entertainment."

"She nearly died until I saved her. I've paid my debt in recovery." Asra said.

"Uh, I'm the one who stitched her side back together. You don't see me complaining." Nina said.

Asra leaned back and brought her legs onto the desk. She crossed them beneath her and settled, arms folded in defiance. "I do not sing."

"Fine." Nina said. "I'll sing, and you can suffer."

So Nina sang. Asra plugged her ears and tried not to listen. Inej lay half awake and half aware.

"Teach me the chorus." She said suddenly.

"You should rest."

"Chorus."

So Nina taught them the chorus. They sang, very badly, into the night till the lanterns burnt out and they all finally drifted into sleep.

The next day, Inej managed to get out of bed. Jesper was there in an instant, offering up his arm and leading her round the deck. Asra watched, leaning against the railings, wind whipping her hair. Inej had Jesper lead her over and the three watched the sea together.

"The Wraith walks." Asra smiled.

"Easily without any help." Inej said, mostly to Jesper.

He grinned. "But I may keel over at any moment, so pay attention."

"Let him fall in the sea," Asra said. "It'll be some damn entertainment at least."

Jesper laughed. "Not a bad idea when you put it that way." He looked down at Inej. "Tell me something, what was the big falling out between Wylan and his father?"

Inej glanced around for eavesdroppers. "I'm not sure exactly. Three months ago Wylan turned up at a flophouse near the Slat. He was using a different surname, but Kaz keeps tabs on everyone new to the Barrel, so he had me do some snooping."

"And?" Jesper asked.

Inej shrugged. "The servants at the Van Eck house are paid well enough that they're hard to bribe. The information I got didn't add to much. There were rumours Wylan had been caught in a sweaty romp with one of his tutors."

Asra laughed. Jesper was shocked.

"Really?"

Inej shrugged again. "Just a rumour. And it's not as if Wylan left home to take up residence with a lover."

"So why did Papa Van Eck kick him out?" Jesper asked.

"I don't think he did. Van Eck writes to Wylan every week and Wylan doesn't even open the letters."

"What do they say?" Jesper asked.

Inej leaned against the railings. "You're assuming I read them."

"Of course you read them." Asra said. "Now cough it up. I'm curious myself."

"They just said the same thing again and again. If you're reading this, then you know I wish you were home. Or, I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

Their eyes all drifted to Wylan. He was talking to Nina across the deck. Asra certainly was curious about him. She'd barely met the boy before this job, but what she had seen instantly piqued her interest. A runaway merchant's son with a gift for drawings and demolitions. She had her own theories swimming about her head, based on her own minute observations and hunches. She didn't know if she was right. And for now, she didn't care.

"The mysterious merchling." Jesper mused. "I wonder what Van Eck did that was bad enough to send Wylan to slum with us."

Asra shrugged. "Parents can be cruel as anyone else. Moreso, even."

Jesper narrowed his eyes at her. "You'd know?"

"I know everything." She looked away, back to the sea. She scars stung suddenly, and Asra made herself shudder to rid herself of the sensation.

"Asra."

"Hmm?" She turned to Inej, who was staring at her. So was Jesper. How long had she lost herself to simple discomfort? Asra felt dread creep into her stomach. She couldn't vanish while on this job.

Inej bumped her shoulder against hers. "What about you? Why are you here, on this job?"

Asra shrugged. "Same as you lot. Money."

"Are you in debt?" Inej asked.

"No."

"Do you need it?"

"Not technically."

"Then why? What will you do with it, your share?"

Asra shrugged again. "Whatever I want. Hadn't really thought about it."

"What?" Jesper blurted.

Asra shrugged, starting to feel self-conscious. "I haven't. Kaz needs me for a job, I go on the job. It's simple as that."

"This isn't a regular job." Inej said. "He would've let us stay in Ketterdam if we wanted to."

Asra traced the crow and cup tattoo on her wrist faintly. "I hadn't thought of that." She said softly. She lifted her head and steadied her voice. "Doesn't make a difference. I'm not gonna turn down the chance to possibly blow up one of the most secure buildings in the world. It was on my bucket list anyway." 
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Author's note:

Asra Behandelar's biggest secret? She awkward as fuck

No Kaz - the horror - but we get Nina and Inej instead:)