*NOTE TO LOVLIES (name as recommended by Mimi372004 ! this is NOT! Related to the last NJ fic I did. This is actually a fanfiction that I wrote for @namjoonfacts SUNBAENIM ON INSTA!! SENPAI NOTICED ME!!*
((Y/N POV)) You rolled over in your bed. In a half asleep state you ran your hand over the pillow next to you. You pulled the pillow closer to your face and took a deep breath. You didn't realize but you had started to cry. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to inhale what was left of his sent. Namjoon. A name that now reminded you of the best moments of your life, and the worst. The smell of his fresh soap had faded from the fabric, but you didn't want to change it. You force your body to stand up and out of your bed.
//flashback//
"Hey y/n! Happy birthday!"
"Oh Joon you remembered?! Thank you!"
"Guess what my bean?" He said with a slight smirk.
"What is it Joon?" He leaned his forehead against yours and pulled a small box out from behind his back.
"I got you a birthday present..." he looked down at the small cardboard box.
"Awww you didn't have to!" You opened the box to reveal 2 separate bracelets. One had black beads with one white bead and another held white beads with one back one. "Thank you oppa!" You hugged the boy.
"This way we'll always be together. Even when we're far apart."
"I love it Joon..." you leaned in kissing his soft lips smiling.
\\end of flashback\\
You rubbed the single back bead on your bracelet. Sighing you walked to the bathroom to wash the dried tears from your cheeks. On the side of the sink there was a full bottle of pills. You pick it up and open it. The white orbs fall into your hand and you groan. You take the empty bottle and throw it in the trash can and make your way to an open window, pills in hand. You stared at the pills for a last time before throwing them out the window. Each pill a temptation to join him. To feel loved again. They rained down as if to give the rest of the city hope.
//flashback//
"Y/n." He said as you sat i between his legs, his chin in your shoulder and your legs wrapped around his torso. "Tell me something you've never told anyone."
"I get scared staring into the sky."
"Why?"
"It's so long and unending. There is nothing, yet everything beyond the small planet we call home. And it's terrifying to me."
"well every time I look into your eyes that's all I see. I see a girl with so much potential. So much beauty. I see every star in your eye and everything you've ever felt in your pupils. And it doesn't scare me. In fact, I've fallen in love with it."
\\end of flashback\\
You grab your coat from the hook in your room and walk out of the apartment that you once used to share. You used to walk into it knowing the love of your life would be there waiting. Now it was a literal prison. You left the building and felt a soft wind blow through your hair. You followed the wind not knowing where you were going but knowing you needed to leave. You started with a slow walk but progressed to a fast run. It was the same street.
//flashback//
"NAMJOON!" You ran down the road to catch up with your boyfriend. His long legs carried his down the sidewalk faster than yours could and you ended up on the other side of the block when it happened. He crossed the street. A random truck had the red light that was meant to protect him. All you could hear were the beeps of trucks horn and your voice as you screamed.
||pause in flashback||
You pulled at your hair, screaming and shouting. "JOON! PLEASE NO!" the pain of the memories were too great as you ran to the crosswalk where he had fallen.
||resume flashback||
The truck threw his body out 15 feet or so. His body landed with a thud in the middle of the road and the driver spend off but you didn't care."NAMJOON!" A large crowd had already formed around the man. A few people were on their phones, clearly talking to the police and medics.
||pause in flashback||
You heard a long honk as you walked across the street to see a few lights zooming at you.
||resume flashback||
"Namjoon..." you knelt down by his body and pulled his head into your lap.
"Y/n, I should have listened when you told me to slow down.." you heard him a chuckle before he coughed up a bit of blood. His voice was hoarse and you cried. "Can you smile for me y/n? I don't want the last thing I see to be you crying."
"Don't talk like that pabo. It's all going to be okay, you'll see. It'll be ok Joon." You held his hand and ran over his knuckles with your thumb. "Just don't let go..."
"Y/n... I can't hold on for much longer...please... I love you y/n... please just smile..?" He slowly pulls your hand to his face and kisses it, leaving two lines of blood on your skin.
You lean your forehead on his and smile through your tears. You kiss his forehead, his nose, and his lips. Each time the bitter taste of iron grew stronger. You smile at him again, tears run down your face. "Thank you y/n..." he stares into your eyes. But slowly his head starts to roll off your lap. You pick it back up and and hold his cheeks.
||pause flashback||
You smile at the lights. A sudden wave of energy filled you for the first time in ages.
||resume flashback||
"Namjoon?" You feel the pool of blood swarm around you both. "Namjoon?" You can't feel his heart beat anymore. "Namjoon!" You can't feel your heartbeat anymore. You bury your face in his chest and cry like you've never cried before. People stared at you. One person rubbed your back as you cried into his corpse... no that's too morbid. His motionless body. You ran your fingers through his hair and leaned your forehead on his. He was gone. Twenty minutes after he died the ambulance came. Just to say that he was dead. They couldn't help him. He was gone. One lady drove you home and you cried the whole way.
\\end of flashback\\
You feel your body in the air. You feel as if you are flying. The wind sweeping through your hair. The tears no longer run down your face. Sure a few of your ribs feel broken and parts of your body are cut and scraped already but you feel beautiful. And beauty requires pain. "Namjoon..." you whisper into the night sky as you hear a car door slam closed and heavy footsteps run to your side. "Do you see me smiling?"

*yep, has nothing to do with broken pt 1. But my next fic will be part 2! Should I make it sad or happy... ist?? Also! FOLLOW @_artwizart_ AND @namjoonfacts ON INSTA!! <3 *