Ryan broke eye contact after I looked at him questioningly. Then he took a deep breath before proceeding with his explanation.

"I cancelled."

He finally looked at me, hesitantly, fiddling with his napkin. I'd never seen him act that way before. I wasn't sure what it meant. Was he nervous? I waited for further explanation while holding my breath, without even knowing why.

"Okay, so," he stammered. "When I told Dan you'd agreed to this double blind date, it hit me that I might lose you to him. He's a really good guy, Nic. And I'm sure What's-Her-Face is great, too. But I can't ignore this," he motioned a hand between the two of us, "anymore. I've ignored it, or tried to ignore it, for years. Now time's running out and it's kind of now or never."

My heart started pounding. At this point it was obvious what he was talking about. But my brain was having trouble believing it. My mind was blank, yet I had a thousand thoughts going through it. Ryan was staring at me, trying to read those thoughts. All I could give him was a whispered, "Ry."

He looked down again, then held out his hand for mine. Mine automatically found his, and we stared at them for what seemed like forever but was merely a few seconds. Those few seconds were all I needed to be 100% positive that I wanted exactly what Ryan wanted. I always had.

"Nicole, if you don't, you know... "

I shook my head, probably too emphatically. "No, I do. I do. I just - I never expected this. Like, ever. Why have you never said something before?"

He shrugged. "Because I'm stupid. I don't have a good excuse. I just always took it for granted that you'd always be there if I got around to telling you. I don't know. I kept thinking about you and Dan together and I got jealous, like I always do when it comes to you dating. The thought of you being with someone else just really got to me hard this time. I know it's not fair to spring this on you now, when I'm getting ready to leave for boot camp and we'll only get to see each other periodically over the next few years - unless you maybe end up going with me, which I know is a long shot. But every time I tell you that I love you, Nicole, I mean I love you, ya know?"

At this point, of course I started crying. "Ryan, I love you, too." I dabbed at the tears trickling down my cheeks. "You could've told me this at home you know."

"I know. But I kept putting it off until, well, until I was forced to tell you just now. I'm sorry." He grinned and reached across the small table to help wipe my face with his napkin. He'd done this so many times in the past, but they had always been sad tears. I much preferred the happy kind.

"It's fine. I'm just glad you finally said something. But rather than continue making a blubbering fool of myself in public, I think we should leave."

Ryan looked confused.

Surprised by my own boldness, I clarified, "Maybe we can go back to my place, and watch The Wizard Of Oz. Or Dr. Oz. Or - "

Before I could come up with another way to fit "oz" into the conversation, Ryan had thrown a wad of cash down onto the table to cover our drinks and was pulling me out of my chair. I guess you could say it was the best blind date ever.