*POV Y/n:*

...

...?

...Huh ?

'Shit... shit... SHIT SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE !?'

Every breath I took caused a sharp stinging in my chest to be felt, my legs were practically worthless at this point, my arms were unresponsive and all I could do was just sit here on the ground, staring up at the sky, what normally would have been a beautiful sight was instead replaced by dark clouds, before I knew it rain was pouring down on me, mocking me...

Y/n: "H-Hah... maybe i-i-it's just... a d-dream !"

Y/n: "O-Or was one..."

I held myself back from breaking down and crying, it took everything I had in me to even raise my left hand up slightly, bit by bit it got higher and higher, there was something I needed to check, something I needed to confirm...

...Higher.

...

.....

'...Come on just... please... body don't give up now...'

Bit... by bit, I raised my hand...

Until eventually it was above me, the thing I had dread... became a reality.

Around my wrist was a dark red band, upon turning it around I could see a watch, a timer was set that ticked down slowly, written on it...

"85D 22:49:37"

The last number went down by one every second that passed by, at this point I couldn't help but let my arm fall over my eyes, a despair stricken laugh heard throughout the streets by yours truly.

Y/n: "Haha... HAHA I FUCKED UP !"

I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to say ANYTHING, but my body refused, it chose to defy any order given to it, perhaps this was retaliation to what I had done or maybe... it was just a cruel curse.

'There's a lot of things people don't want to learn about or know, for example knowing your partner is cheating could destroy your world, having to live with a disease or such you can never get rid of, there's so many examples I don't even know where to start, but if there's one thing that is worse than them all...'

'It's knowing when you'll die.'

'...'

'Get up...'

'You have nothing worthwhile either way, so why bother grieving about it.'

My mental state was a mess, it did what it wanted to at the moment, with little to no control given to me over it, while I wanted to be grieving, I wanted to cry and scream about it, I wanted to throw a tantrum, why should I bother ?

Wasting time like this won't do me any good, so instead I slowly stood up, a forced smile on my face as I extend my arm to the right, using anything I could find for support.

'...Isn't it ironic... only when you know how much time you have left with something you start to value it for what it's worth.'

'If everyone knew exactly when their time to pass had come, how would they live...?'

Questions I had never asked myself before kept coming, no matter how many I answered though, another would take its place immediately, it was a never ending cycle, answer, replace... answer, replace... answer... replace... answer, replace, answer, replace answer... replace.

???: "Excuse me sir !"

My eyes had practically been glued to the floor and I didn't intend to look anywhere either at the moment, while it could be seen as rude, why should I care, I think how I feel is justified right about now, that forced smile doesn't seem to help much either, instead I just felt worse moment after moment again and again.

???: "I get you may not want to talk, but you could have the common decency of at least looking at me sir !"

'The more you have of something, the more you forget to value it, if you get used to it existing you won't take it for granted... isn't that just... funny...'

???: "Siiiir !?"

'We all get so used to all these common things, the sunlight, oxygen, years of time being granted to us all for just existing and what do we do ?'

'Instead of being happy we have these things... we just try to get more of everything else, the things we desire...'

'Only when the resource runs scarce do we really care...'

???: "Sir !"

Finally my eyes dart over to the person talking to me, clearly they weren't taking the hint so I'd have to make it obvious to them.

The first thing I noticed was just... how strange they looked compared to the most people walking around, instead of modern clothing they chose to wear what seemed to be old timey detective clothing, on her head was a light brown detectives hat with a checked pattern on the left and right side, the color of it complimenting her blonde hair, another thing that stuck out like a sore thumb was the hairpin resembling a magnifying glass with some gears.

???: "Oh you finally chose to listen, splendid !"

Alongside this she wore a white blouse with a red tie on said red tie were a few white features, the most interesting being the handlebar moustache near the bottom, the coat she wore to keep herself warm... or perhaps to just make it clear what she is happened to also be light brown, matching the overall outfit quite well, in that moment I noticed she also had a stethoscope around the previously mentioned coat, the skirt she wore unsurprisingly too was a light brown color with a similar, if not even the same checked pattern she had on the hat, ironically a reminder as to what caused me so much grief was around what I assume to be near waist height... a golden pocket watch with a handlebar moustache.

???: "Oi I can feel you checking me out..."

Lastly, strapped around her left leg were what looked like syringes filled with a light blue liquid the socks or... stockings, I was unsure which it was, were a black color, contrasting the outfit quite a bit, while the shoes she wore were a dark brown, finally I met her eyes, which happened to be blue, just like what the sky should have been or perhaps like the endless ocean I desired to see right about now.

???: "Hm... maybe you're just not in the right state of mind... no matter !"

With a bright smile she held out her hand for me to presumably shake.

???: "The names Amelia, Amelia Waaaaaaatson !"

Amelia: "Yes the surname is the same Dr. Watson, famously known as uncle Sherlocks famous sidekick !"

'...Uncle Sherlock...?'

Amelia: "If I am his daughter or not doesn't matter now does it, moving on to why I bothered talking to you sir !"

Amelia: "I couldn't help but notice you looked under the weather, quite literally, so I thought why not offer some shelter and company in these trying times !"

'There has to be some kind of catch to this... but why should I bother thinking about that.'

My view of the world had been completely shattered, the place I once viewed as beautiful and interesting, at least while it kept me entertained was now dark and gloomy, with a half-assed chuckle I nod and shake her hand reluctantly, not bothering to put much effort into it.

Y/n: "Yeah... what... whatever..."

Amelia: "You could also tell me your name sir."

Y/n: "...Why ?"

Amelia: "Oh good grief... it wouldn't kill you to be a bit more kind you know."

Y/n: "...Y/n L/n..."

Amelia: "See Y/n, already we're getting somewhere !"

Y/n: "..."

She just continued smiling like she had been for the most of the interaction, suddenly she grabbed my hand, but unlike usually where I'd be embarrassed or even surprised, I... felt nothing, I just let her drag me away with no care in the world because...

It was hopeless after all.

I believe it was half a hour later when we finally stopped in front of some random building, before I knew it she unlocked the door to it and dragged me inside, not even then did I get any peace, instead I was pushed further and further until finally I found myself standing in front of a couch, not wanting to be pushed onto it, I sit down myself, the place I found myself resembled what I assume to be a office of sorts, it was neatly decorated to say the least, pictures where she had been on were hung up on the walls, in the most of them there were different people, but one stuck out to me... it was a picture of a group of 5 people and the one with pink hair... she stuck out to me like a sore thumb.

My heart started racing upon even seeing her again, my eyes widened and I could feel my body heating up, sweat rolled down my face, it took everything in me to not collapse right here and then, Amelia seemingly noticing this gives me a worried look.

Amelia: "Hey Y/n... you look like you've just seen a ghost or something."

Immediately my hands darted up to my face to cover it, I couldn't stand seeing her again it only made me feel worse and worse, the thoughts racing throughout my head were rapid, never-ending, if I spoke these out loud people would think I'm mad right about now.

'Breaking... breaking, breakingbreaking...'

'I'm breaking down, aren't I, no I'm... it's obviously, I lost control, control ?'

'Yes control I have to regain control, control... control ?'

'...Control...'

'I've lost any and all control of my life, even now I'm losing...'

'...Control.'

'Come on... come on... stop, stop...'

'Breaking.'

'Stop it, stop it, stop it...'

My hands were slowly lowered, but not by me, instead Amelia did so while crouched down in front of me, a concerned expression on her face, instead of saying anything for the time being she was quiet, perhaps attempting to think of a proper response.

'I... I need to calm down, I need to regain some sort of... no... I...'

Amelia: "It's getting worse isn't it...?"

Eventually she held both of my hands together, while I started to slowly calm down it seemed hopeless, like I'd be stuck in a loop of getting better ever so slightly, only to feel ten times worse than the last time.

Amelia: "It's okay... it's okay, we have all the time in the world."

Y/n: "No we... we don't..."

Y/n: "Don't you get it...?"

Y/n: "It's inevitable, no one can escape it, it comes for us all... time is so limited so how can you joke about that...?"

Amelia: "I know it might be hard to trust someone you just met, but please do try to understand that everything I have said up until now has been nothing except the truth."

Y/n: "...Yeah... right..."

She tightly clutches my hands while I take deep breath after deep breath, once I had been a bit more calm she slowly nodded and backed away, sitting down at the desk in front of me, it was then I couldn't help but notice she put down her hat next to me for some reason.

Amelia: "Well seeing as you're doing worse than ever, I could offer you a temporary... but quick solution !"

Y/n: "...?"

With a smile she took out one of those syringes with the unknown liquid from before, immediately causing me to lean back, not because I felt comfortable or because I trusted her, but because I wanted to get as far away from it as possible.

Art: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/104316769

Amelia: "There's some side effects of course, but we can always just talk about those after you feel better !"

Y/n: "No, no, nononono that's the last thing I'll put in my body..."

Amelia: "I was just kidding !"

Amelia: "This one is a work in progress anyways, for all I know it could make you go on a really bad trip..."

She quickly puts away the syringe while keeping up that smile, once it had been gone she clasped her hands together and stared at me while staying quiet for quite some time.

'Does... she want me to talk...?'

Amelia: "Okay now that you're more calm and collected, could you tell me a bit about why you're acting the way you are ?"

Y/n: "There's..."

Y/n: "Nothing wrong with me."

I do my best to force a calm expression, even managing to stop my body from trembling or such, my eyes were locked onto hers and yet it didn't fool her even a bit, instead she seemed a bit annoyed by it... and yet that smile remained.

Amelia: "Come on, after what just happened you can't pull that one on me."

Y/n: "Could have worked..."

Amelia: "Elementary, my dear L/n."

Y/n: "That... doesn't really fit in this context..."

Amelia: "It fits just fine, so please stop trying to change topic and get to talking about what's troubling you, if you will !"

Y/n: "Do I have to...?"

Amelia: "I can't help you until there's more information provided !"

Y/n: "..."

Amelia: "Well I'll try to start us off in that case, previously you seemed to be scared of death, am I correct ?"

Upon hearing her mention that word I couldn't help but jolt slightly up, my hands tightly clutching onto my legs.

Amelia: "Spot on I see, is there any particular reason as to why that may be ?"

Y/n: "...No."

Amelia: "Please do be honest, I know it can be hard to open up to strangers, but think about this way, worst case scenario you and I will never talk again and everything you said here today will be forgotten !"

Amelia: "Of course the best case would be I manage to help you overcome your fear or help lessen those thoughts of what is troubling you at the moment."

Y/n: "...I can't tell you..."

Amelia: "And why's that ?"

Y/n: "Because I... I literally CAN'T."

She had a sweet smile despite the fact I had gotten more annoyed, her eyes closed while she leaned back and nodded.

Amelia: "So there's a chance you don't know what your problem is or someone is silencing you, very peculiar..."

Y/n: "I know what it is, it's obvious... I'm scared of fucking dying okay !?"

Amelia: "And then he admitted to what his problem is, so it was the former."

Amelia: "So let me ask you, why's that ?"

Y/n: "I told you... I can't tell you exactly why."

Amelia: "Well that's quite alright !"

Amelia: "Please do me a small favor, try thinking about the main thing that is troubling you, if you can remember the smallest of details of course only if possible."

Y/n: "...Why would I do that...?"

Amelia: "I'm the doctor okaaaay ?"

Amelia: "So listen to me and stop questioning everything~!"

'...It's easy to remember...'

'Hah... after all it wasn't that long ago since it happened, it's been what... 2 hours at most...?'

Y/n: "...Fine..."

I lean back and take a deep breath, closing my eyes while I think back at what had gotten me into this mess into the first place, a memory I most likely wouldn't forget any time soon, one that... caused me more trouble than anything before.

*2 hours ago...?*

With the book on my lap I flip through page after page, thoroughly reading every single one of them, it was gut wrenching and yet I couldn't stop myself, the details they went into at times were absurd, you'd have full names of these people there, how they died, what they did to themselves, the aftermath and so on, not one of them was the same, even if similar they were always different, until I finally arrived at the last page... it was blank, at least for except a few words that said...

"And now, it's your turn."

I shook my head, thinking I'm just imagining things and I was, the last page in fact wasn't blank, but it went into detail on how to summon a devil if you felt bored enough to do so and... I just happened to be, so why wouldn't I go ahead and try it out to see if it's for real or not.

'Eh I mean it's fictional one way or another... so the worst that can happen is I create a mess and get disappointed.'

It took me a few minutes to get everything prepared for it, first I started off by drawing the shape presented to me in the book, upon confirming I did exactly as told I kneeled down and grabbed the same needle I previously had used on Civ, using it to cut a small portion of my palm open which I laid down on the circle, after this I then muttered the words that apparently would establish the connection.

'I probably look like such a idiot right about now-'

My thought was interrupted by the fact it seemed to have been real and even worked, quickly I stood up and backed off, covering my eyes with my arm, the circle was glowing a bright red that was almost blinding, honestly if anything it was bothersome.

Y/n: "Come on flashbanging a dude in the middle of the night isn't cool !"

When the light finally faded away once and for all, I was left with... well, something that didn't look all too devilish.

Y/n: "..."

???: "Eh ?"

???: "Wait this is... wrong, where am I ?"

The "devil" was wearing a hat with some kind of cat-like face on it, its eyes respectively were green on the left and a pink... purple on the right...?

That was the most I got to see before she just started pacing around curiously, inspecting my room, this alone gave me a better of her all around, as much as I didn't want to be staring I couldn't help but be curious what I just summoned, the only real aspect of her that made her seem... like a devil, was that tail of hers...

???: "Eto... did someone mess up again ?"

???: "Or maybe this is a new company provi- OH THAT'S A HUMAN-"

???: "Wait no this is the perfect time to study human behavior...!"

Y/n: "What the fuck...?"

Y/n: "Did... did I mess up one of the steps...?"

I walk over to the book and sheepishly scratch the back of my head, going over every step one after the other while double checking that I didn't mess up.

Y/n: "No but I..."

Out of no where a green painted fingernail pointed at step 3, something I had completely overlooked seemingly.

???: "Ah there's your problem !"

Y/n: "I don't see it-"

???: "It's alright it happens to the best of us !"

???: "See that symbol you drew looks more like a halo, what you should have drawn was a symbol provided on the examples here !"

She points out a section which showed a few symbols, all of which were more themed around the underworld causing me to facepalm and nod.

Y/n: "Ohhh... yep, yep that'd explain it."

Y/n: "Wait a second-"

???: "Hm ?"

I turn over at the devil, giving her a suspicious look as she just smiles and slightly tilts her head, the tail behind her slowly swaying from side to side.

Y/n: "If I didn't summon a devil then what did I summon !?"

Y/n: "And also why did you bother helping me correct it ??"

???: "...You drew a... a halo..."

???: "...I'M A DEVIL I PROMISE, D.E.V.I.L. NOT ANGEL-"

She fell to her knees, seemingly having a existential crisis, unsure of what to do I just slowly walked away and corrected my mistake, changing out the halo for a skull, after I was done I grab the needle that had a bit of blood stained on it, proceeding to then repeat the same steps from before, at first nothing happened, but eventually that same glow that I had seen just a few minutes before came back, when turning over to the devil she just looked at me with her mouth slightly open, her eyes almost lifeless like I betrayed her.

???: "Ah-"

And with those words spoken she was gone, instead there was now a girl in some kind of streetwear standing there, just like the devil from before she wore a hat as well, only this one didn't have eyes... or looked sentient.

???: "...Are you fuckin'..."

Despite what I would have thought is the norm for her she seemed annoyed, even if I was just judging that by the sound of her voice, after all I was just staring at the back of a head... that's what I assume it is at least, pink hair tied into a ponytail was hanging down while she just looked around, upon noticing me her eyes widened a bit.

???: "Guh-"

???: "Alright let's just... get this over with."

???: "I'll take it you know who you summoned and why, so just state your wish or whatever the fuck, I just really wanna go home right about now..."

As if my body had a mind of it's own I stepped forward with a smile, my eyes were staring directly into hers, although she didn't really seemed even slightly bothered by that.

Y/n: "Oh I have a simple request."

???: "Great, then spit it out."

Y/n: "I want..."

Y/n: "You to take my life."

???: "..."

She seemed almost surprised by my request, hell even I was, it's like I wasn't in control anymore, the words I had spoken weren't what I wanted to say, in fact they're the last thing I'd ever request of someone like this...

'What- no I... why would I say that !?'

???: "Yeah no can do."

Y/n: "Huh !?"

Y/n: "Why not ??"

???: "For one there's a long ass list of people who are waiting for their souls to be reaped, secondly I REAP souls, I don't kill people and lastly... if I did that it could really upset my boss."

Y/n: "Come on, you gotta have some kind of solution..."

'I'd rather you didn't ??'

???: "...Alright I don't usually do this, but you won't get off my fuckin' back until I do this I can just tell."

Sighing she snaps her fingers bringing out what seems to be a sheet of paper and pen, not wasting any time she holds the sheet of paper for me to read, her free hand pointing at where to sign.

???: "Technically we don't really do shit like this, but if you wait let's say... 86 days I'll ensure you meet your maker or whatever, then yours truly will come and reap your soul, not sure why you'd want that though."

???: "Do note, once you sign this there's no going back."

???: "Got it ?"

Y/n: "Yeah, just give me the pen already."

'I'd rather you DIDN'T.'

With a expression that read "is this dude for real?" she held out the pen, without a single moment of hesitation I grabbed it and signed where she had pointed out with the name "Y/n L/n", upon making sure it was all in order she nodded and rolled it up.

???: "I still got no clue why you'd want something like this Y/n... I think that was your name, but pleasure doing business or some shit... I don't know."

Y/n: "Oh no, it was my pleasure, really."

???: "...Well I'll be on my wa- shit almost forgot."

She quickly grabs my wrist and wraps something around it, it... was a watch with a timer slowly ticking down at first it had been set on "86D", but upon seemingly starting it the displayed time quickly changed into "85D 23:59:59", the band of said watch was a dark red... not the most flattering color to say the least.

???: "Don't bother trying to do anythin' to it, you can destroy it, pour water over it, whatever the fuck kinda things you think of, nothing will get rid of it, it'll always be on ya somewhere."

???: "...Alright now I can finally leave..."

???: "Guh damn..."

Without saying anything I just continue smiling, my hands behind my back while I wait for her to seemingly leave, even after she gave me a few weird glances and shook her head I just continued to stand there, like a statue... until finally my body worked with me, at that point of course it had already been too late, she left and all I could do was wonder what was happening...

Y/n: "...A dream, this h-has to be a dream haha-"

I fall to my knees, a forced laugh coming out as I quickly nod.

Y/n: "Yep, i-it's a dream, nothing else it could be !"

Y/n: "..."

Y/n: "I-I need to go outside... maybe f-fresh air will... h-help me wake up haha !"

'There... there has to be something really strange going on here, first I just happen to be given a book out of no where that depicts other peoples deaths, then I summon a devil... afterwards some other... thing from the underworld... the entire time it didn't feel like I was... myself either...?'

'And now I'm on a countdown of 86 days till I die...?'

'H-Haha no, of course that's... n-not real...'

'This is a-a dream after all...'

*Back in the present*

'...Come to think of it, I wasn't in control of this decision was I...?'

'I could barely even create my own thoughts and when I did all they were... were a cry for help, of course no one could hear them... but were they even a cry for help...?'

'Maybe I can use this against that girl I made a contract with... a-after all I wasn't in control...'

'There... there has to be some kind of loophole...'

I sigh and shake my head, proceeding to slowly open my eyes, my hands were slightly shaking, but I did my best to hide that fact from Amelia as I look up at her.

Y/n: "...Okay now what...?"

Amelia: "Oh- that was faster than expected !"

She smiled and walked up to me, stopping when she was right in front of me, her hands hidden behind her back while I couldn't do anything except wait.

Amelia: "I'm glad you learned to cooperate so easily, so I'll do the same, see it's a win win for us both !"

Amelia: "While I'm not sure what your "most troubling problem" could be, I do have my own assumption, so there's two solutions to this..."

First she held out her right hand, opening it up only for there to be nothing in it, leaving me slightly confused.

Amelia: "The first would be you live like you currently are, learning to accept your problem for what it is and instead you make the best out of what you have !"

Amelia: "At least with the limited time you have."

Y/n: "How did you-"

Amelia: "And secondly !"

She held out her left hand, opening it up just like she previously had with her right, in this one there was a syringe with blue liquid in it, upon looking at her expression that smile she always wore was still there, not even slightly faltering.

Amelia: "The easy solution... I stab you with this syringe that contains a definitely safe concoction made by me !"

Amelia: "Of course what this would do is help you forget about that problem entirely... the only side effect this would cause ?"

Amelia: "Well there'd be a gap in your memory of course !"

Amelia: "I don't have much to say other than the choice really is yours, if you choose to go the hard route where you learn to overcome your fear or if you choose to go the easy route, where you'd have to live with a potentially pretty large gap in your memory is up to you !"

Amelia: "But just like you said yourself..."

Amelia: "One way or another it's inevitable, isn't it ?"

Y/n: "..."

Amelia: "Please take your time to make up your mind !"

'Maybe... maybe if I forget about what had just happened I could live the rest of my days happily... plus it's only a few... hours worth of time at best...'

'I can always make new memories with those two right...?'

'...But forgetting when my end is to come might be a curse as well...'

'There'd be no way to find help for my problem, no way to find a workaround or such... and in the end I might end up in the same scenario just like I currently found myself...'

'...There's no winning here is there...?'

*End of chapter 3*