Badface: Helloooooo listeners, and welcome to the first episode of 50 Ways To Take Over A Clan! I hope you enjoy this new show and stay tuned for more to come!

Badface is lurking in a shadowy corner of the camp, clearly planning something evil. He has various pieces of paper with writing on them around him, each describing a different Clan and it's weaknesses.

Fangpaw: *pads up to his mentor cautiously, glancing behind him to make sure no one is looking* Psst, Badface. How's it going with... the plans?

Badface: *rubs paws together eagerly* We're almost done here. The plan is to distract Lamefoot and kidnap Genericstar, ultimately making me leader as I threaten his life. Will you do the distracting?

Fangpaw: *strokes chin* Hmm... what's in it for me?

Badface: I'll make you deputy under me.

Fangpaw: Give me more.

Badface: I'll give you a really awesome warrior name.

Fangpaw: Still not enough...

Badface: *sighs* Fineeee, I'll let you murder Lamefoot and his family as a distraction.

Fangpaw: *smiles greedily* Well, what a wonderful distraction it shall be!

Badface: *shuffles through papers* Now we're almost all set. I just need to remember where I plan to hide away Genericstar for the rest of eternity... *holds up paper* Aha! Found it. I'll hide him in the-

Insanefur: *appears from out of nowhere* Hey, bro!

Badface: *has an are-you-freaking-serious-right-now expression* What do you want, Insanefur?

Insanefur: Just wanted to say hi. *snatches paper from Badface's paw*

Badface: Hey!

Insanefur: Whatcha lookin' at? *reads* Hide Genericstar in the basement of my mom's house which I didn't move out of until after I became a warrior. Side note, make sure to thank her for continuing to pay my rent for me after I got kicked out of college.

Fangpaw: Omg xD.

Badface: Insanefur! Give. That. Back.

Insanefur: *holds up a claw to shush him* Oh wait, there's more. Also, make sure to thank grandma for buying my groceries for me because mom is only paying my rent. Thank grandpa for paying for my weekly yoga classes and thank Fangpaw for letting me take $50 from him to buy a bunch of new pairs of rubber duckie underwear.

Fangpaw: I did not let you borrow money! Especially not for you to spend on duckie underpants!

Badface: *snatches paper back* Now look what you've done, Insanefur! You made my apprentice and sidekick hate me because of your lies!

Insanefur: But I didn't-

Badface: Shhh!

Insanefur: But I-

Badface: Quit talking!

Insanefur: But-

Badface: Go waste someone else's time!

Insanefur: *shrugs indifferently* Okay. *wanders off*

Badface: Okay... now where were we?

Fangpaw: *not amused* The duckies.

Badface: Right... uh... she was totally kidding about that. *crumples up paper* Heh heh.

Fangpaw: Right. What's next.

Badface: Next... we strike! *evil laughs like a maniac*

Fangpaw: Death! Blood! Gore! I can't wait!

Badface: *continues to evil laugh* *points claw* Onward!

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Fangpaw: Hi Lamefoot.

Lamefoot: Hi Fangpaw. If you've come to visit me in order to ask for fewer patrols, don't bother.

Fangpaw: Whhhhaaatt? Why would you ever assume I'd do that?

Lamefoot: Because you have only done that about 700,000 times. You're so lazy.

Fangpaw: Be quiet, I'm trying to figure out the most efficient way to kill you.

Lamefoot: What-

Fangpaw: Meh, I'll just go with the good ole' throat slash. *quickly swipes at the deputy, leaving him dead* Well that takes care of that.

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Badface: Quick, Genericstar! There's an army of angry fangirls coming because you said you hated Jayfeather! Go hide in my mom's cellar until they pass!

Genericstar: Okay. *walks calmly away*

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Badface: *stands on large boulder* Yo Clanmates! Could y'all gather, I got something to say.

Rainbowkit: Did you finally overthrow Genericstar? We've all been waiting to be rid of that horrible leader for so long.

Badface: Basically yes. Killed Lamefoot too.

Sparkleykit: Good! Lamefoot was so lame.

Badface: Yeah, well I'm Badstar now. Fangpaw is my deputy and he's now to be called Fangtooth.

Fangtooth: I thought you promised me a good name!

Badstar: Yeah, well, you get what you get. Worship me now!

Sparkleykit and Rainbowkit: *bow repeatedly* You got rid of Genericstar and Lamefoot! You are our heroooooooo!!!!

Badstar: *smiles at the camera and winks*

{Written by Feather! I hope you like this spoof, it was so much fun to plan.}