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Dark humor jokes
Warning! These jokes can be very dark and messed up. Some can considered inappropriate. If you're not into that kind of stuff, please don't read this. Note: I don't own all the jokes. Some I made up, others I read.
![My FanGirl [HUMOR]✔](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/103895694.jpg "My FanGirl [HUMOR]✔")
My FanGirl [HUMOR]✔
#1 in humor on 24.01.2018Picture this-You are a huge fan of a singer from your favourite band. Your day starts looking at his picture on the wall of the bedroom and ends with the same.One day you are standing near the window of your room and what you see next makes you freeze....You see your favourite singer ,your crush standing with a mug of coffee in his hand on the window of the room opposite to your bedroom.Dream come true, right?'Chashmish' is what he calls her. 'Rockstar' is what he prefers. What happens when two completely different worlds collide?Sparks?Explosion?ORLove with a solid taste of humor. Come fall in love with our crazy malhotra and his Fangirl❤--------*CONTAINS HINDI DIALOGUES*
A and D
Nerdy Dakota Evans makes the biggest mistake of her life by falling in love with her best friend, Aaron Ford. Despite coming from entirely different cliques in school, will their relationship have a chance?***In a high school where everyone belongs to cliques, nerdy and boyish Dakota Evans' friendship with basketball jock, Aaron Ford, becomes a big issue. Aaron's highly protective of Dakota and doesn't realize that she's in love with him. With their friendship eventually going on the rocks, will Aaron finally realize his true feelings for Dakota before it's too late?[[word count: 90,000-100,000 words]]
Crazy best friends (Humor) ✔️
Highest ranking - #1 in Humor (24/12/2017) She is fire, he is an extinguisher. Both of them together personify craziness. Its a story of two best friends who are together since childhood and support each other in everything they do. What will happen when someone else comes to their life. Give it a shot. Cover credits - @The_shining_armor
Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed)
"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him."I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." **Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede?Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... **Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #BillionaireAmazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -ReaderFantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **
How to Fall in Love ✔
They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot)P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution.(cover by @glueeater)
Humor On High: Clean Jokes and Funny Stories
I have a soft spot for clean and funny jokes.Perhaps you do too.I have slowly been collecting things that I found particularly humorous. Most of these are not mine, although a few are.Some chapters are just images, and will have (images) in the chapter title.A new chapter every Monday. Enjoy. :)I kindly request that people refrain from swearing in my books. The English language is huge, and many other things can be used instead. I don't mind things like shit, blast it, or fuzzy bunny slippers, but I can't stand the f-bomb or when people insult female dogs. If people want to vent, why not do it more creatively? Nicky manages it quite well in The Virus Within.The lovely cover was made by @Ellie6880!
The Four Baristas of the Apocalypse (sample)
When aliens invade, four baristas are forced to become the saviours of the world. Grab your double-shot of java and strap in - it's going to be a bumpy ride! ***** In the Earth's darkest hour, unexpected heroes are stirring... their coffee, that is. Four baristas on a camping trip are under-qualified to save the world from an alien invasion. But thanks to a hologram with no fashion sense, newly developed superpowers and an alien with a guilty conscience, they've landed the job anyway! So grab your double-shot of java, your blueberry muffin and strap in - Hasta barista, baby.[[2018 Wattys winner and twice featured]][[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]Please note this is a sample of the book, which has been published and is available for purchase:Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WKFVKQJPaperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1644342154
Bad Boy Roommate ✔︎✔︎
after a prank gone terribly wrong, hayden jones is sent across country to caldwell academy, a school for the bitchy, the dangerous and the rebellious.and if that wasn't bad enough, it becomes much worse when hayden is accidentally put in the male dormitory, landing her in a room with the school's notorious heartbreaker, chase everett.[not edited...like at all]
𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗢𝗥 𝗠𝗘 | 𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗢 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗞𝗜𝗘 𝗞𝗜𝗗
𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, 𝐔𝐍𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐍.𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄, 𝐀 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄.Warning: SO FUCKING CRINGE ❤️ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━"𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗨𝗟?"ʜᴏᴡ?𝐇𝐎𝐖?𝙷𝙾𝚆? ̵̪͉̰̟̈́̋͑̃̌̿̅̈́̚̚H̵͓̻̳̗̟͗̿͂O̴̞̝͖̬͕͊̈́̊͑͒͋̒W̶̡̪̖̙͇̻̮̺̜̒̉̈̓̀̋̑͜?̷̰̟̬̙͓̏͆̎̃͌̊̆̎͠͠"𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗜 𝗦𝗔𝗬? 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗦." 𝐿𝑀𝒦 x op!𝐹𝐸𝑀!𝑅𝐸𝒜𝒟𝐸𝑅 ʜᴇxᴏʟᴏɢʜ
All Good Things
"Bridget Jones with a lot more wine! This story is hilarious, feel-good and relatable in all the best ways!" - Grace K @ HQ.She's just quit her high-flying job and her marriage is coasting on fumes. Can Alice find a sense of purpose in all the madness? ***** Alice's life isn't going to plan. She's tied to her phone, pointlessly managing PR for a sinking corporate megalith. She's become a bit player in her kids' lives and her marriage is coasting on fumes. Forcing herself into action with a rash resignation, Alice sets out to make a positive impact on the world around her. But how? Meditation leads to napping and her attempts to get closer to her teenage daughter result in the discovery of a secret that left her at loss of what to do! As the months tick by and a sense of purpose continues to elude her, Alice finds herself forming bonds with the most unlikely characters: the young woman who panhandles outside her old office; the homeless boy who sits cross-legged outside the liquor store with his ginger cat; her own dog walker who, it turns out, knows a thing or two about developing a good crema. Testing the limits of marriage, motherhood and the Toronto subway system--can Alice find her way into a purpose-driven life? Or will it all be one giant hangover? [*Wattpad Editor's Pick 2018*][[word count: 70,000-80,000 words]] Readers say:"This had me laughing so loud that my sister came to check up on me to see if I'm OK!!!""...the new Bridget Jones, a working woman's take on the digital age." About the Author:Working mother, annoying vegetarian and red wine enthusiast, Renee lives in Toronto with her flawed but wonderful family (seriously, who left socks on the kitchen counter?) in a flawed but wonderful house (what *is* that smell in the basement?).
Descendants Humor Book 1
Just some funny interactions between various Descendants characters. Includes Huma (Harry Hook x Uma), Bal (Ben x Mal), Jarlos (Jane x Carlos), Jaudrey (Jay x Audrey), Bevie (Ben x Evie), and Hevie (Harry Hook x Evie). NOW COMPLETED AND PART 2 IS RELEASED!
The Cell Phone Swap
Keeley accidentally swaps cell phones with a rivaling high school's star quarterback. Unable to switch back until a week later, she must interact with the arrogant boy, passing along texts and voicemails. As she gets to know him better, she realizes there's more to him than sexual innuendos and egotistical comments. But when identities are revealed and secrets are exposed, will Keeley's feelings remain?Available in bookstores now! Look for it under its new title, TEXTROVERT.
Sh*t! I'm Sorry!
Highest Rank: #1 in Romance, #2 in HumorWhat happens when you're walking down the street, with one of the best coffees in hand, turn around for one second... Then the next thing you know, the world is spinning and you've landed in the arms of one of the most gorgeous organisms of the male species. With the best coffee, you've ever had, spilt on his grey v-neck?Or maybe when you're drunk off your head, can't walk in a straight line with a heel that is broken and your makeup smudged with a bottle of beer in your hand...Then the next thing you know the world is spinning and that same gorgeous organism has you in his arms with the strong smell of your beer on his leather jacket?When it comes to Ryan Einstein, Alexis Harrington needs a little help. Especially when her only instinct is to say..."Shit! I'm sorry!"© All Rights Reserved 2018 Camerybear
The Contract Marriage (Complete)
#Book 1#3 in humor on 13.5.18#33 in romance on 03.04.17Started on : 5th december 2015Ended on: 14th february 2017Teresa Scarlet is witty, pretty and very very rich. Thanks to her dad she has lots of money but our protagonist wants love, not money. Unfortunately she's getting married to a rich boy who doesn't even look at her properly and before their engagement he announces their marriage as a contract?! What else? He's cold, rude, arrogant and a big jerk who on the very next day of their marriage throws her out of his car in the midnight in the middle of nowhere?!***Ryouma Carlton, young business man,rich, handsome and a totally perfect guy. His family moved to the States, when he was 12, and now they're back to their homeland. But as soon as they returned, his world came crashing down when his parents blackmailed him to get married with a girl he met just few days ago. WHAT?When he married her,he thought he's got a submissive wife but he is in for a surprise!Join on the ride filled with love, hatred and lots of humor!
You're A Doll (COMPLETE)
Jessie Cross is a typical bad boy with the title. He loves cars and racing and is basically an adrenaline addict. He loves tattoos, music, the women. His friends and him hung out at this one bar often but this particular brunette who appeared uncomfortable caught his eye. Sailor Kate was the pretty girl who drowned herself in books- romance addict- and she was too lonely to leave her awful friends.One night they dragged her to a car race and she sat alone by her car, bored out of her mind. When a man came up to her she became uncomfortable but didn't know how to wave him off until a boy did it for her. How do they proceed after?
Yours, Forever
"Feel that?" He asked, keeping her hand still. "That's what you do to me. Every time I see you. Every time I hear you laugh. Every time I think of you." ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎It started with an accidental run in, but blossomed into something more. Aurora never thought she could ever love herself again, let alone give her love to another. Yet after meeting him, her doubts slowly began to fade away. Xavier was never a man of many words. Known to be cold and closed off, he found himself opening up to her as he fell for her fast.Join Aurora and Xavier as they learn to love and trust each other, forming unbreakable bonds.❤︎ Extended description inside ❤︎#2 in romcom 07-20-2022#2 in sweet 04-23-2021#1 in loveatfirstsight 04-14-2021#1 in fiction 02-15-2021#2 in billionaire 11-14-2020#3 in chicklit 11-13-2020#4 in protective 10-18-2020#1 in boyfriend 10-15-2020#1 in drama 10-8-2020#4 in love 9-23-2020#2 in humor 9-20-2020#1 in sweetromance 9-14-2020#1 in asiansinlit 9-04-2020#1 in newadultromance 8-16-2020
Wicked (WICKED #1) | ✓
"What, you don't think I'm a bad boy?""We're in an camp for delinquents. They're all bad boys here."FIRST BOOK IN THE WICKED SERIES
HUMOR & MORAL STORIES!!!
Stories that will make you laugh (until you cry maybe). Stories that will make you think deeply. Most of all i hope they are stories that will make your day one way or another because everyone deserve to smile everyday even when the day is going badly. I hope you will find a reason to smile when reading these stories. :-)
![The Art Of Finding Balance [boyxboy]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/122253225.jpg "The Art Of Finding Balance [boyxboy]")
The Art Of Finding Balance [boyxboy]
[LGBT+, Teen Fiction, Humor, Romance]There are only three things that Mycah Rhodes and Arden Fuller agree on.1. Their mutual hatred for one another.2. Their dislike for the fact that their parents are friends.3. Their shared wish that they weren't stuck together for the summer.Cue a summer filled with friends, fighting and feelings.. what could possibly go wrong?[Part 1 published: 1st March 2018]
It All Started With A Lie
You've got one boy.One girl.One pretty little lie. A perfect relationship.The perfect boyfriend.The perfect girlfriend.The perfect dates.The perfect gifts.And the perfect surprises. That gives you our golden couple of Sunset Westwood High.But what happens when it's all a lie? One boy.One girl who needs desperate help.One pretty little lie. That sounds more like it. When Olivia's ex is bothering her and rubbing it in her face at a party that he moved on after dumping her, she sees her nemesis, Ethan walking by and she uses him as her ploy, but the move isn't so smart when you think about it. I mean, how easy can it be acting lovey-dovey with your enemy?.....ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Percy Jackson Humor
salve semideinon siate depressi è il momento di ridere,altrimenti Leo vi da fuoco :DBUONA LETTURA!
𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚
𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 8 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳... 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥_______________Wattpad deleted KBTM :'( But you guys messaged and supported me so much that I'm going to be reposting it here.Thank you for sticking with Severus and Adira for so long, I love you all.
Mr.OCD's Messy Assistant (Completed)
Jason is a perfectionist, a control freak, a neat freak. To top it all, he also has obsessive compulsive personality disorder. Sarah is a messy girl who hates control freaks.When Sarah becomes an assistant to the Ceo Jason, she intends to make his life interesting. Little does she know, he intends to do the same................................Highest rankings:#4 enemies to lovers of 56.2k #1 romcom of 24.4k#8 humor of 211k #1 shortstory of 315k#3 comedy of 183k#19 lovestory of 319k#43 romance of 301k
Attack On Titan Memes / AOT Memes
WARNING: SPOILERS!!What the title says. I'll react to them too I guess. There will be some swearing.Disclaimer: I do not own any pictures, nor do I own the book cover's background.First published: 4/8/17Completed: 5/11/17Last published: 6/5/18Highest Rank: #42 in Humor-Unimportant Stuff-#413 in Humor(26/8/17)#367 in Humor(27/8/17)#289 in Humor(28/8/17)#283 in Humor(29/8/17)#269 in Humor(30/8/17) #263 in Humor(31/8/17)#243 in Humor(1/9/17)#205 in Humor(3/9/17)#176 in Humor(9/9/17)#135 in Humor(11/9/17)#131 in Humor(13/9/17)#122 in Humor(15/9/17)#119 in Humor(16/9/17)#108 in Humor(22/9/17)#100 in Humor(24/9/17)#84 in Humor(27/9/17)#81 in Humor(28/8/17)#75 in Humor(29/9/17)#74 in Humor(1/10/17)#59 in Humor(3/10/17)#57 in Humor(11/12/17)#56 in Humor(16/12/17)#50 in Humor(9/1/18)#45 in Humor(22/1/17)#42 in Humor(12/2/17)12/May/2018# 2 memes out of 4.3K stories ranking Other Rankings# 3 attackontitan out of 5.1K stories # 5 armin out of 944 stories # 12 bored out of 2K stories # 16 shingekinokyojin out of 1.9K stories # 10 mikasa out of 962 stories # 25 eren out of 2.1K stories # 31 snk out of 2.5K stories # 5 connie out of 358 stories # 6 hanji out of 418 stories # 7 erwin out of 470 stories # 439 anime out of 28.7K stories # 12 marco out of 768 stories # 651 random out of 38.9K stories # 10 jean out of 532 stories # 9 sasha out of 439 stories # 4 reiner out of 191 stories # 1 bertolt out of 28 stories
The Mafia's Secret Daughter ( #1 in the Mafia Series )
Tori Miller has lived in New York for as long as she can remember and she's loved it but things get complicated and take a turn when her mother passes away from cancer. Going through her mothers things she realizes that there is more to her mothers story than what she was told. • For more description read the first chapter.•Please feel free to correct any errors there may be...and please vote and comment. Thank you! • I do NOT own any rights to these gifs or photos.