MC: "Hey Beel, I have a question for you."

Beel: "Hmm? What is it MC?"

MC: "Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?"

Beel confused: "Wha-?"

MC: "Cause you lookin' like a snacc."

Beel now visibly worried: "....MC, have you eaten today? Would you like to go out for food???"

MC muttering to themselves in disbelief: "Holy shit, the pick up line worked!"

--------

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* 

Lucifer: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. 

Everyone: 

MC: ... I did. I broke it. 

Lucifer: No, no you didn't. Beel? 

Beelzebub: Don't look at me. Look at Levi. 

Leviathan: What?! I didn't break it. 

Beelzebub: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? 

Leviathan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken! 

Beelzebub: Suspicious. 

Leviathan: No, it's not! 

Belphegor: If it matters, probably not, but Asmo was the last one to use it. 

Asmodeus: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! 

Belphegor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? 

Asmodeus: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, BELPHIE! 

MC: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it. 

Lucifer: No! Who broke it!? 

Everyone: 

Leviathan: Hey... Mammon's been awfully quiet. 

Mammon: REALLY?!*Everyone starts arguing* 

Lucifer: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.

--------

Lucifer: Satan is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.

Asmo: Okay, did you talk before he got upset?

Lucifer: ...yes?

Asmo: That's probably it.

---------

Barbatos: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group.

MC: Well, you always have a smile on your face.

Barbatos: Thank you.

MC:

MC: What drugs do you take?

--------

Lucifer: It's time for your punishment

Lucifer: *smirks*

[Minutes later]

Lucifer: Why are you struggling and using your fingers?

MC, sobbing as they desperately use their fingers for their math homework: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO