"In my dreams, you love me back."

— In my dreams, Red Velvet.

     Arriving back to the ship, Inej had approached Nina and Trixie, the two sat in silence staring out at the sea. She'd just missed the blonde yell at the heartrender for her stupid and reckless decision, cursing the girl for putting her life at risk. When she calmed down they'd hugged, the younger of the two resting her head on the elders shoulder as she tried to force her emotions to remain hidden, she wasn't about to start crying in the middle of the sea. Like her mother had always said, she was a Van Der Woodsen, they wouldn't cry over something small.

This silence was comforting as they watched the rise and fall of waves, nothing but the clear sea for them to see. Two friends enjoying each other's company as they thought of the possibility of losing one another. It was a horrible thought but in a world like this, they had to think of it at least once. Trixie had almost lost Nina back there and it made her saddened to think about, a life without one of the most important people to be by her side.

Sounds like torture.

"One hour, maybe two." Nina spoke without turning around as she acknowledged Inej's presence.

"You heard me approach?" Inej paused, her mouth agape as Trixie furrowed her brows, wondering how she'd done it. Nobody ever heard Inej, not even when they tried insanely hard.

"Don't worry. It wasn't those silent feet that gave you away. I can hear your pulse, your breathing." Nina responded and Trixie lifted up her head to allow Inej to take the seat beside her, all three girls staring out at the sea.

"And you knew it was me?" Inej quizzed, still unsure of the effects of the drug.

"Every heart sounds different. I never realised that before." Nina commented, taking a moment to appreciate it. "I wish you two could see what I do. I can hear every body on this ship, the blood rushing through their veins. I can hear the change in Kaz's breathing when he looks at Trixie."

"You..." Trixie mumbled, barely able to concentrate, "...you can?"

"It catches every time, like he's never seen you before." Nina continued, a small smile on her lips as she watched the blondes cheeks grow hot.

"Maybe hes coming down with something, he should go to a healer." Trixie commented as Inej pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head at the deflection.

"Trix..."

"And what about Matthias?" Trixie quipped, trying to change the subject before they made her talk about it more.

"Matthias is afraid for me, but his heart thumps a steady rhythm no matter what he's feeling. So Fjerdan, so orderly." Nina replied, her voice sounding disheartened slightly as she spoke about him.

"I didn't think you'd let those men live, back at the harbour." Inej spoke up, looking at the heartrender curiously.

"I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. I'll become one more Grisha horror story for them to tell their children." Nina ran her finger over the railing as she spoke.

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" Inej joked as Trixie let out a loud laugh that echoed around the empty air, flooding any unwanted silence with her melody.

"Well, I do like the sound of that." Nina smiled, looking at the girls as another round of laughter followed.

"Of course you do." Trixie mused, shaking her head as their laughter quietened down.

"You look radiant." Inej commented, receiving a nod from the blonde next to her as they looked over at their friend.

"It won't last." Nina responded as Trixie's smile fell, worry seeping into the momentary happiness she had felt.

"It never does. Are you afraid?" Trixie quizzed, if Nina wasn't, she sure as hell was, the thought of something bad happening to her friend made her feel dizzy.

"Terrified." Nina admitted, looking down at the sea once again as she thought about it once again.

"We'll all be here with you." Inej reassured the girl with a soft smile.

"Yeah, you're stuck with us now." Trixie added, nudging her shoulder as Nina took a quick breath before nodding.

"If I were a Suli seer," Inej began as she rested her head on Trixie's shoulder, "I could look into the future and tell you it will be all right."

"Or that I'm going to die in agony." Nina pressed her cheek against the top of Trixie's head. "Tell me something good anyway."

"It will be all right." Inej replied quietly, the trio melting into one another's embrace as they looked out at sea. "You'll survive this."

"And then you're going to be unbelievably rich." Trixie continued on from where Inej had left off. "You'll sing sea shanties and drinking songs nightly in an East Stave cabaret, and I'll be there to bribe everyone to give you standing ovations after every song, whether they like it or not. Maybe I'll slip in a threat of slipping something into their drinks."

Nina and Inej laughed softly at this little story they'd made up, whether it come true or not, they got to have a moment to sit and dream of a better life.

"Let's buy the Menagerie." Nina suddenly called out and Inej grinned widely.

"Let's buy it and burn it down." Inej fantasied, her gaze on the waves below them but her smile present.

"I better be invited, I love seeing things burn." Trixie sighed happily as the two girls laughed.

"Of course you do."

Pressing a kiss to both Inej's and Trixie's cheeks, Nina stood up and headed to go find Matthias. As she excused herself, Inej's gaze lingered elsewhere before she also excused herself. Furrowing her brows, Trixie looked to see where the Suli girl's gaze had been, noticing Kaz was approaching her. He'd just finished speaking to Nina and judging from the girl's expression it couldn't have been anything good.

     The girl moved to stand, leaning against the railing as she waited, heading his footsteps getting closer. As usual they were surrounded by their usual silence, stealing glances at one another when they thought the other wasn't looking. Wind whipped through their hair and Kaz thought she looked ethereal, as if the word was created purely for her.

     "We're alive." He voiced, barely able to get the words out as he looked at her.

      "It seems luck was on our side, Brekker." Trixie commented, shaking her head slightly amused as she ran her fingers along the railing. "How will we be meeting the Merchant Council?"

     "When we're a few miles out, Rotty and I will row to harbour in the longboat. We'll find a runner to get word to Van Eck and make the exchange on Vellgeluk." Kaz explained and she slowly nodded at their plan.

      They were once again silent for a while, both their minds whirling as topics came into mind but neither of them voiced them. It was an endless cycle between them, witting for the other to break it so they didn't have to in case they said the wrong thing and ruined everything.

      "I want to travel when we finish this, see the world." Trixie commented, interrupted the silence that had followed them.

     "Really? Why?" Kaz's brow was furrowed as he failed to hide his surprise at her words.

      "I've spent years living by my mother's expectations and I've always wanted to see something different. Remaining in the same place gets tiring after a while and I want to feel that excitement of something new." Trixie explained, her eyes practically glistening as she stared ahead, Kaz's lips upturning ever so slightly as he listened to her speak, he could listen to her all day.

     "Where would you go first?" Kaz asked after a few seconds of more silence.

     "Ravka." Trixie mumbled, the wind once again softly blowing against her hair as she smiled. "The way Nina speaks of it always intrigued me and I'd love to see it for myself one day."

     "Oh." Was all Kaz could respond with as he felt his heart quicken at the mere sight of her smile.

     "You're about to be rich, Kaz, welcome to the club." Trixie turned her head to send him a small grin. "What will you do when there's no more blood to shed or vengeance to take?"

     "There's always more." Kaz retorted and shrugged, his gloved fingers moving along the railing.

     "More money, more mayhem, more scores to settle." Trixie listed in amusement as she looked away, her gaze diverting back to the sea before her. "Has there never been another dream for you?"

    When silence followed her she found herself scoffing, unable to hide her irritation. She'd just opened up to him and as usual he'd shut her down with the deadliest weapon of all silence. Bored of the same loop, she turned to leave but halted at a grip on her hand, keeping her stood where she was.

     "Stay." Kaz spoke, his voice rough as he refused to look at her. "Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me."

      All the words died on her as she looked down at the gloved hand clutching hers, unable to form a coherent sentence. His words ran through her mind and at first she wanted to scream yes but she knew she couldn't, she deserved better than this.

     "What would be the point?" Trixie's own response shocked her but she knew she had to stand her ground, she wanted a certain response this time, she wouldn't settle for little.

      "I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you." Kaz stumbled on his words, cursing himself for being unable to get the words out. In his mind they were coherent and perfect but as soon as her voiced them, that's where the issues begun,

     "You want me yet you can never speak to me. I'm not foolish, despite how I may seem to you, I know you. How many times have I left hint after hint, begged and pleaded you to engage in it but you left me in silence." Trixie let it all out, what's the point in hiding it anymore. "Kaz, I trust you too much, you could lie and tell me anything and I would believe you, I'd believe you without any proof. I'd follow you to the end of the world because it was you who asked. But when I ask you to open a small part of yourself up to me you back down and build up those walls again."

      He released her hand, his shoulders bunching as he felt ashamed of what he'd done, moving his attention to the sea. Kaz couldn't face seeing her being angry at him, not even anger, it was disappointment, which was even worse.

     "I'm not expecting you to tell me every little thing about you, I'd never expect that of you, I just want a little more than you're giving." Trixie spoke much softer, as if it was paining her to say these words. "I just told you about my dreams to travel and you responded with something vague and probably sarcastic." A few seconds of tense silence followed as she turned her back to him. "Please, Kaz, let your walls down before you suffocate in there alone. "

     Speak, she begged him in her thoughts, give me a reason to stay here with you. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her countless times and gave her a purpose on this stupid earth. He'd found her at her loneliest and brought her into a new world. Trixie knew that if he told her to stay with him she would, all she needed was to hear those words leave his lips once again to prove he was serious about this. However, he remained silent and she felt a familiar feeling form in her throat as she looked down, barely able to keep herself calm.

      As silent as the night, she slipped out of his view and he turned to where she'd just been stood, surprised to see an empty space. Anger burned within him, anger directed at himself and his foolish behaviour. Why hadn't he just told her, all she was asking was for him to share a little information about him. Yet he couldn't do it. Something inside of him, a cruel and malicious voice, had called out to him, twisting his words and making him rethink it. How could he let his guard down without it all blowing back in his face?

Words~2114.
{edited:no}