Pictures, pictures, pictures. So many fucking pictures. Like I get that it's Christmas tomorrow but damn. I'm not even in an ugly sweater.

This club just snaps pictures and posts them. Like why?? Beyoncé drug me to this club, for whatever reason. Her and Lauren have been talking about his party for way too long.

And i've been denying it for just as long.

Somehow I ended up here. I don't want to be here, but since I am, they not stopping shit. I'm about to get drunk off my ass.

This red wig is secured for a reason. About to throw my ass for whoever throwing stacks. My girlfriend of course.

"What you want to drink stink?"

"Casamigos."

Her eyes narrowed and she walked away. She probably thinks i'm being sarcastic, but i'm so serious.

I smelled the cup before I tasted it and she really got it for me. Aw. Thought I would have to bitch her a little bit.

"Stink...don't be mad alright? But I gotta go to the warehouse tonight. I'll be back in the morning but-"

"I don't give a fuck." I walked away.

That's so stupid yo. Im not gonna see her because she's going to the warehouse? The place that she said I could go to with her but never went.

Something ain't right I feel. Either it's something she doesn't want me to see, or she's not really going there.

There's no fucking way. She knows all my whereabouts no matter what. Because when she asks, I tell her. No need to lie when it's the truth.

But every time I ask her where she is, there's a whole fucking storyline of her beating around the bush.

Like yea sometimes she's really where she says, but it always takes her five minutes to just tell me that.

She could be going to the corner store, and she'll tell me whole story on why she has to go. Like that gets irritating. Makes me feel like you're being sneaky or some shit.

Maybe i'm overthinking but this isn't the time to bother me in this moment. I'm about to be drinking and I don't need to be mad when I drink.

I'll be crying and trying to fight. We don't need a drunk Nicki like that.

I saw Lauren in the corner and made my way to her. She wrapped her arms around my butt and pulled me closer. This bitch is drunk. So drunk.

Her eyes are red. I felt her raise my shirt up and kiss my belly, while rubbing my thighs.

"Get on my level babe. Drink up." She pushed my cup towards my mouth. I gulped it down and hissed at the burning. That shit....is nothing to play with.

I'm about to be so fucked up. Momma is gonna kick our ass when she comes over to us hungover. Usually everyone stays the night at her place because it's the biggest.

Everyone still is, but I don't think we'll make it. We were gonna pull up in the middle of the night because we know that they stay up, but not while drunk.

Mimi's gonna be there too and I don't need a speech while i'm not in my right mind. I'll probably laugh in her face.

"Does your arm still bother you?" She softly rubbed the spot.

I nodded my head because hell yes. Not as much, but it has its moments. Whatever Mimi uses only works for so long. It's like numbing stuff.

"Good thing Beyoncé not over here cause you finna throw this ass in my face." She squeezed my legs.

Oh my god.

We stayed like that for a while. Her sitting with her arms around me, and me standing between her legs.

I'm guessing she was waiting on a twerk song, because as soon as one came on, I was being bent over.

Maybe Lauren is gay because I have no ass and she loves it. I think that's her favorite thing on me besides our dimples.

And maybe my boobs because they sit pretty.

It was fun twerking on her, but at some point you have to stop. The dudes in the club will take advantage and think you're putting on a show for them.

Some dude tried to grab my butt, but Lauren punched his ass. I mean straight knocked the wind out his chest. For a second I thought we were gonna have to jump his ass, but he backed down.

Good.

Cause I keep a glock in my purse.

"Onika-"

"I don't wanna talk to you."

I walked off with Lauren and we went to the bar. She's trying to get so fucked up. But i'm gonna match her energy because she's my best friend and I love her.

Last time we went out, she was drunk alone. I'm not gonna be the one making chicken at 3am this time.

Well no one else can cook so either we're gonna eat gas station food, or starve. Whatever happens, happens.

At the bar I saw Beyoncé's friend Robyn. I met them the other day, and she's been having them so called watch me tonight.

I don't know why she thinks I need that, but if they keep popping up where I am, i'm gonna go off. I'm way too grown to be watched in a club.

Like what kind of shit?

"Bey said no more casamigos." She leaned over to me. I mugged her and turned away. Who does she think she is?

"Cup of casamigos and a cup of henny!" I shouted. Lauren was beside me but i'm sure she couldn't order herself, so I did it for her.

We started to sip from our cups, and Lo pulled me to the top where the strippers are. Oh she's trynna turn all the way up.

It was really empty, so we called some strippers and sat on the couch. These are some fine ass girls.

They're asses are humongous! And it better not stink because I will make a bitch move. But they're really pretty too.

Some of them look a little over done, but hey! Ain't got shit to do with me.

"Hey sexy." A tall skinny girl came to me. She's dark skin and look like she could glow in the dark.

The way her body was set up, it's obvious that it's all real. Her uniform was full of diamonds and jewels. Damn.

I grabbed my purse and pulled out three blue bills, sitting them in her titties.

Would this be considered cheating? I'm not even doing anything, just having fun. Of course i'm not gonna let her grope me or kiss on me and stuff.

I'm just gonna turn up and throw money at her. I don't want to lose my relationship now. Yea i'm mad at her, but I still love her.

This would count as the second time i've been mad at her, but for the same reason. Mmm. That says something.

"What you looking for tonight?" She grabbed my face. Omg she's so beautiful.

"Just show me some fun babe." I'm not sure what i'm saying, but hopefully it's not single.

She smirked and turned around as a fast twerk song came on. They all started to throw ass and I just did what I usually do with Lauren. Joined.

Probably not a good idea, but I did. And I made sure I was throwing money and touching them. Exactly what they wanted.

It's fun twerking with a lot of big asses. Makes you feel apart.

Someone came with a bottle of henny and was pouring it in our mouths. After some time, we weren't the only ones up there.

Everyone started coming to watch booty. So many guys were up here now. But I was ready to go because it was getting way too hot up there.

I don't have my fan and I will catch an attitude.

As I held Lauren's hand towards the stairs, my other one was pulled, and I was yanked away. Who in the fuck!

My eyes widened when I caught his eye and I tried to pull away.

"Let me go." I gritted. He yanked me forward and grabbed the same arm he damaged months ago, along with the other. A whimper came out and he pulled me closer to his face.

Nothing was coming out of his mouth, but i'm sure it would at some point. He was just licking his lips and staring at me.

"Meek let me go!" I tried to pull.

How is no one hearing this?

"Calm down mama....you knew I would be back."

We were so close, he could kiss me. I can't even pull back because he has a death grip on both of my arms. He's way too strong.

"What you thought I was playing? I love you... and I don't play about the ones I love....I need you. I've told you this. So stop being like this and come home baby....please."

The way he was whispering so close to me. I didn't want to hear him, but I did. I wanted to blank out his words but I couldn't.

I'm so scared that my focus is only on him. My heart is beating so fast. That's all I can hear. His voice and my heart.

"Please let me go. It hurts Meek."

All I could do was plead. Anything else would be pointless. Screaming wouldn't even be heard. I can't call Bey, she won't hear me. I can't reach my phone, he's holding me.

"I'm hurting...but you don't care. So why should I care?"

His voice was so calm, yet so loud. Maybe it's the drinks, but it felt like he was right in my ear.

"B-because...y-you love me. Remember?"

Please let this work. I feel like i'm about to pass out.

"You right...but do you love me?" He moved closer to me. If that's even possible.

My breath became stuck and I was now shaking. We held a stare off until his lips touched mine and I started to squirm.

After that, he let me go and walked off. Tears escaped my eyes and I wiped them off, going downstairs.

Beyoncé.

I need to find Beyoncé. I'm ready to go home now. She'll kill me if she finds out he kissed me.

Lauren ran to me and touched my face.

"What the fuck!? Where were you? Who pulled you?"

"M-Meek. He k-kissed me Lo. He grabbed m-me and kissed me. Beyoncé's gonna be mad at me." I sobbed.

Her face hardened and we went towards somewhere. Beyoncé was sitting on a couch with a stripper on her. Kissing her neck.

She looked at me and looked right away, pulling from her blunt. What? Lauren went and snatched it, pushing the girl off of her.

I'm sure my face is soaking wet from tears. My arms hurt and now my heart.

"The fuck are you doing!?"

"Man move! Wasn't nobody knocking ha fun when she was up there getting kissed on! The fuck?!"

She's drunk and doesn't mean it...

"You act like she wanted to kiss him! He fucking attacked her again bitch!"

Beyoncé looked at me and I walked- stumbled away. She thought I would cheat on her? So she went to get back at me.

Well maybe it's fair...I was letting girls dance on me. But not kiss on me. It's not that serious, she was getting payback.

The door seemed so far away until I felt a cool breeze. I looked around and realized that i'm drunk and can't drive my car.

Why would I do that?

I heard the door open and looked back to see Meek again. He looked happy to see me and kept his eyes on me.

No.

If I wanted to shoot him, I couldn't. I don't have my purse. It's somewhere inside there and I don't even want it back.

Fuck it.

"What you crying for baby?"

"It's always you....everything that's been happening is because of you...Why won't you leave me alone?" I cried.

He wiped my tears and pushed my head up by my chin. Tears were falling hard as I looked at him. He went to lean in again but I pushed him.

"Stop! Stop trying to kiss me! I don't want to kiss you!" I screamed. He jerked me and made me hit the wall, with an angered expression.

The way his nostrils flared and his chest heaved, I feel like i'm shit out of luck.

My back arched form the impact of the brick wall and my head started to pound.

I can't breathe.

"Ow!" A loud sob came out.

This feels worser than the first time. The brick knocked my back so hard, my wind just left. Before I knew it, he had my neck again.

My breath is already gone, him choking me is making everything move faster. Tears clouded my eyes so I can't see anything but a black figure.

His nails clawed into my neck and my hearing wasn't right. I could feel my eyes start to roll back slowly, and my body was giving out.

"M-Meek p-please." I whimpered. It hurt to even try and say that.

I could feel blood on my hands from scratching at his wrist.

"Nika!" I heard a scream before I hit the ground with Meek. He wouldn't let me go at all.

It's like i'm being slung around with him. My neck.

"Nika! Nini look at me please! Open your eyes baby." I could feel my cheek being hit.

But I couldn't open my eyes.

"No! Call Mimi! Now!"
                                       •𝓡𝓛•

"Nini come play wif me!" Lauren yelled. I jumped from my bed and ran down the hallway to the stairs.

Before I could go down, I was being called by Momma. I forgot i'm on punishment and can't go anywhere.

I can only play upstairs, but I can't go down with everyone else. It sucks because everyone is here today.

"You come down those stairs Onika and imma know something!"

Lauren and I looked at each other, and I walked back to my room.

"Sorry Nini. I thought you weren't in trouble anymore....I'll stay up here wif you..if you want."

I nodded happily and closed my room door. I've missed her so much because she had to stay at home for two days.

She was sick with the flu and couldn't be around us. But I didn't care, which is why i'm on punishment. I tried to sneak out and go across the street.

Daddy caught me and Momma whooped my butt. I won't ever try to sneak out again, i'm only 6.
                                      •𝓡𝓛•

"Lauren no. He's just gonna make you sad again and I don't want to see that." I brushed her hair back.

She's going through it with her first boyfriend and she's being dumb. We've always said that we wouldn't let each other be crazy over a guy, and here she is. Being crazy over a guy.

He's cheated on her twice and she keeps believing his lies.

"But I love him Nini."

"We're too young for love Lo. There's a lot more where that came from. Trust me. We're 14. Not even supposed to be talking about boys."  I flopped on her bed.

She's so stressful.
                                        •𝓡𝓛•

"Girl I don't give a damn. Meek ain't shit and I don't want to see you with him Onika."

"But maybe I should give him a chance? He seems really sweet and he likes me."

"He doesn't like you...he like what's on you."

"Well I don't have an ass so what is it Lo?"

"You're a beautiful and sweet girl Nic. He's gonna try and take advantage of you."

What does she know?

Ive been trying to step my game up, i'm 22. I haven't dated anyone on a serious note and I really want to see how it feels.

Maybe this is it? My love?

The person i've been waiting on, and I don't want to miss it just because of assumptions about him.

"I'm gonna go out with him and see how it goes. If I don't like it, I won't go out with him again. Deal?"

"Whatever Onika."
                                       •𝓡𝓛•

"What's going on!?" I heard screams. My eyes opened to bright lights and I whimpered from the pain that shot through my body.

"She's woke! Move! My sister is woke and doesn't need to be alone! Get out the way!"

Lauren came into view and she looked like shit. Like she'd been crying all day.

"Oh Nini. I'm so sorry! I was supposed to be there." She wrapped around me.

I groaned, and she sat up apologizing. Her eyes were darting around my body and I looked down. My arms are bruised and I could only see a portion of my chest.

He did it again.

Broke me.

My eyes watered and I broke down. All because of him, again.

If only I wouldn't have went on that date. Lauren warned me. She always does and I never listen.

That's my fault.

"It's okay babe. He'll be taken care of. You won't have to worry about him ever again. I promise you."

"I should've listened to you."

"Yea you should've...but that's just you. You never listen."

That made us chuckle. I never listen, ever.

Two doctors came in and checked my vitals and all that stuff. I hate that.

Lauren was in her pajamas, so that made me wonder....

"What day is it?"

"It's Christmas morning. That's why we're trying to get you out of here because everyone's waiting for you." She kissed my forehead and got into bed with me.

Christmas morning?

"Well good news...everything looks good. A woman by the name of Mimi came and checked her out. Said that she had it from here and even educated us in a few things. You're able to leave when you're ready."

Lauren smiled and got up, grabbing my shoes and things. I wasn't connected to anything, so I just sat up.

"No. I'll push you in a wheelchair."

I rolled my eyes and huffed. A doctor came in with a chair and I got inside. Lauren seemed so happy to do this.

When we were kids she used to love pushing me in our home wheelchair for when I got sick. We would get in trouble for running into the cabinets. And even broke the stove once.

We got an ass whooping out of this world. But it was worth it.

I was rolled out into the front and everyone was sitting there. The whole waiting room was full of my people.

"Oh my fucking gosh! Nika why didn't you tell me this was happening to you?" My brother came to me.

He had tears in his eyes and looked so torn. I barely talk to my siblings but I know that they love me. And I love them.

We just butt heads a lot.

"I love you so much."

I kissed his forehead and let Lauren roll out. They were behind me like some army. But I was only looking for one person.

Where is she? I miss her.

"She's not here Nini...sorry." Lauren whispered in my ear.

I kind of slumped down because of that. Is she mad at me?

She helped me into my car and we headed to Mommas house. I was quiet the whole time because I couldn't stop thinking about Beyoncé.

What if she's mad at me and doesn't want to be with me anymore?

It surprised me when her car was outside of Mommas house.

"Let me out."

"Wait Nika. Let me get the-"

I yanked on the door, but it was locked.

"Open it Lo. Please." Tears filled my eyes. I heard them click, and I flew out the door.

"Nika wait! Stop running!"

"Baby!" I knocked on the window.

She looked over and hopped out, pulling me into a hug.

"I missed you so much." I cried.

"I'm so sorry stink."

She picked me up and we walked into Mommas house. Mimi walked to us, and examined me. I could see the hurt in her eyes, and wanted to break down again.

"Take her upstairs."

I looked over because I don't want to. Even as a kid, I don't like being separated from everyone.

It's lonely and boring. Who wants to be sick and alone?

"Dont. Tanya. Just go, please." I mugged her and stuck my head in Beys neck. It's not fair.

She walked upstairs and went straight to my old room. How does she even know where this is?

"You almost cheated on me.......but I understand."

I got down and laid in the bed, huffing loudly. This is about to be so boring. Their gonna make me stay here until THEY feel like I should leave.

"I'm sorry...I thought-"

"I don't care...it's fine. He kissed me."  I shouldn't have brought it up.

"What I did was wrong and I was drunk... i'm really sorry. I've been fucking up and I-I don't want you to think that I would do anything to disrespect you or make you lose trust in me. I really love you and I-"

"Beyyy! Please don't. I said it's fine i'm not tripping. I just want to forget the night. My body is already fucked up, that's a constant reminder. I'm alive and i'm good.....Now can you come lay on me? I miss you so much." I stuck my lip out.

She pulled her shirt off and came towards me. If only we weren't at my parents house...

"Nic!!! Momma said-"

"Boy stop yelling in my damn house! If I wanted it to be yelled I could've did it my damn self! Getcho ass up there!"

Now he knew he shouldn't have tried that. Momma doesn't play about that. But now she's probably getting fussed at by Mimi.

"Mcht. Momma said come downstairs cause we finna open presents."

I straight faced Bey and pulled the gown off. Why did I have to come up here in the first place?

My body just looks so messed up. I'm still in the clothes that it happened in, so I can see it all.

They're gonna have to wait because I want to shower first. There's dried blood on me and shit.

"There's a bag of clothes downstairs for you. They had me pack it because they said you're staying here for a while."

I rolled my eyes and walked towards the bathroom. I'm guessing she's gonna get the clothes.

Why are they making me stay here? Should've known this would happen though. Daddy definitely made the biggest deal out of it.

With Momma and Mimi right behind him. Backing him up.

After a quick shower, I have Bey patching me up. This dude dug his nails into my neck, so that burns. My arm is even more messed up, plus the other one.

But it isn't as bad. There's bruises on my legs and stomach. That's probably from falling. Insecurities just sky rocketed.

"I want the footy pajamas." I mumbled. At least it'll all be covered.

My eyes stayed on her hands as they worked around me. I just want to cry, but it's like I can't. I've done it enough.

"Ok. Let me moisturize your body first. I know you don't play about that, so I packed all of your face stuff and...lotions and shit like that." She was picking through the bag.

I love her so much.

"Mama called to check up on you earlier, but you was still sleep in the hospital. We gotta call her in a little bit before she throw a hissy fit." She rubbed the lotion into me.

I just sat and listened to her talk about all the thoughtful things she did. She may think it's normal, but to me, it's really a big deal.

In so many ways, she shows me that she cares and actually mean it. I'm so thankful for her.

This is the most respectful person i've ever met.

"Ok...Do you want me to wash your face? Or is that like...not good?"

I chuckled at her and hopped off the counter.

"I did that in the shower baby...I'm good. Thank you. I love you so much." I kissed her.

She smiled and grabbed my hand as we walked down the stairs. Everyone sat around the living room with frowns.

"Damn man. You ain't changed one bit. Still the last nigga to come down."

"Shut up. Punk. That's why yo hair nappy." I bucked at him. My brother is the toughest crybaby ever. Iykyk.

"If you do it then it won't be nappy. But you wanna be all lavish...For real tho Nic do my hair."

"I'm not doing shit-"

"Hey! Shut the hell up. Don't nobody wanna hear all that arguing!" Mimi yelled.

"Sorry."