°•Regret•°

A young girl looked out the window of her room, her eyes following the drops of water that made their way down the glass. She was 11, soon turning 12, and had just came back from the hospital.

Her mother stood at the doorway, a somber smile on her face as she approached her daughter.

"How're you feeling, sweetheart?" The woman caressed the bandage placed on the girl's forehead, careful not to inflict more pain than she was already in.

The girl rolled her eyes, scoffing. "Awful, thanks for asking I guess." She refused to meet her mother's eyes. If she saw the guilt that pored from her mothers irises the girl knew she would begging crying nonstop.

Though her mother knew that such disrespect wasn't tolerated in the household, she couldn't bring herself to reprimand her daughter after what had just happened.

They had lost their family and the feeling of safety.

Yasu picked at the bandages wrapped around her arms, her forlorn expression not missing the watchful eye of a mother. "M..mom..." Her crackly voice pierced the silent room. "Mom why did this happen to me? I didn't deserve this!" The desperation was evident. She was searching for an answer that nobody had.

Why was life unfair?

Why did bad things happen to good people?

The tears pooled at her eyes, spilling over onto her bed sheets.

"Yasu," her mother commanded her attention, lifting the girls chin to meet her eyes. "You didn't deserve this, but it happened. Things happen for a reason and I believe that because if this something great will happen. It's awful, and it's disgusting, but that doesn't mean you're any less valuable." She wrapped her arms around her broken child, who's body was wracked with sobs.

"Mother p-please.. please... is it— will it ever stop hurting?" She gagged at the severity of her despair, clutching onto her mothers clothes as if they would save her from drowning, ignoring the aching and stinging that was present on all of her limbs.

The woman pushed back her own salty tears knowing it would only cause more pain for her child, though the guilt and responsibility she felt for this situation was choking her. "No, honey. It will never stop hurting. Physically, the pain will go away but you will always feel the hurt of this, but you have to move past it, do you understand? You're better than this situation. It's okay to feel the pain, but don't let that define you, that's not who you are." She brushed away the moisture present on the child's face, smiling in hopes of raising her spirits.

The rain pattering outside reminded Yasu of blood dripping down from her body and into the cold stone floor. The cloudy sky reminded her of the grey eyes that bored into her skull, shining every time she screamed in agony.

"I'm... im gross now. Nobody... nobody is going to like me..." She pushed herself away from her mothers arms, grasping at the bandages violently. "I'm disgusting! I can never show my face again!" Her wails fell from her mouth between ragged breaths. "Nobody is going to want to look at me— I look like some sort of failed experiment now. I—" She looked at the bright scars and burns that littered the bottom half of her arm. "I'm ruined..."

She wounds that had yet to heal fully, such as deep gashes and still irritated skin stung as her tears fell onto them, the cream used to soothe and heal them only working for physical injuries and not mental ones.

Her mother sighed, heart cracking at the sight of her daughter. If it could have been her, she would've gladly taken the torture her child endured over ten times before she would let those people lay a hand on her child, but it was too late for that and the only feeling she could muster was regret. "Yasu, you're not gross. You're beautiful, beautiful to me and your father, even Caroline! She came by while you were still sleeping and she didn't think you were gross at all. She thinks you're incredibly strong, like we all do, and the thought of you being ruined has never crossed my mind." It had. She knew her daughters mental state would be in shambles, but sometimes parents lie for the sake of their children.

"Why don't we put the bandages back on so that everything heals properly and then you can come down for dinner. What do you think?"

Yasu didn't tell her mother that she thought her mom only wanted to cover her battered body up so she didn't have to lay eyes on the tainted skin. She didn't tell her mother that she despised both having to hide herself and knowing that she felt relief by wearing the bandages. She refused to tell her mother that she wished she would've been killed instead of left for dead, but that didn't mean that by hiding her true feelings they were any less true.

"I just want to stay here please. I don't feel like eating right now..." Her stomach was constricting painfully as it pleased for food, but she didn't think it would actually go down. She had yet to eat anything since she got home from the hospital two days ago. Nothing stayed down, it would always make its way back up in the dead of night or halfway through her meal, so why bother?

The woman nodded, a tight lipped smile forced into her face for the sake of her daughter while she rewrapped the bandages. "Yasu-"

"Mother please. Please mother I want to be alone."

She was left in a self induced silence that only created more questions instead of providing answers.

Family was supposed to be trustworthy, honest, supportive. Family was what was supposed to remain after everyone else left you– but who would she have if she couldn't even trust her own blood?

How could people be so cruel and take advantage of innocence? Did they get some sort of sick pleasure out of it? What drove people to mutilate others for the simple fact that they desired so.

"I am making you strong, dear Rigel. You do not understand but I am helping you. Shh, do not scream or you will wake the others. They cannot know yet, you're not ready."

"P-please. Aunt Miu stop-stop please it hurts I want to leave. I want to go home. STOP!"

The woman buried a scalpel into the girl's arm, a devilish smirk present on her face. Blood poured onto the cold floor, the straps around the girls body creating small burns as she struggled to get free.

The smell of burnt flesh filled the room as the knife which had been heated under a flame was pressed onto her leg.

"What did I say about being quiet?"

The cries of agony and betrayal filled the basement, muffled by the thick door that resided at the top of the stairs.

"Y-You said... I have to be quiet or everyone else will wake up..."

"Very good. Now, let's begin."

She shivered at the memory, sinking further into her mattress.

How could she have come so close to death yet manage to avoid being taken by it. Was it a sick joke, some sort of game? Was this some sort of sign that no matter the good things she would have in life she would always be near death?

Was she destined to be surrounded by suffering or was this a one time sort of deal?

How had a memory filled with laughter and joy turned into the worst experience of her life?

It wasn't fair. This wasn't fair.

She hated being alive.