The security guards take Louis out of the house. Normani comes out of the room followed by Camila holding Amelia. I look down and walk down the stairs. "Wait, Lauren!" Normani shouts. I run to the back. I run out back and get to the barn. Tears fly down my face. I try to control it but I can't. I bend down and put my face into the palm of my hands.
"Mommy?" I put my hands down hearing Amelia's voice. I look up at the ceiling biting my lip. "Mommy?" I stand up and turn around. I meet Amelia's eyes. We stay our distance and look at one another.
"Amelia," I whisper. She runs towards me and jumps into my arms. I hold onto her tightly and squeeze her. Just hold her. I shut my eyes for a brief second then reopen. I pull away a bit and look my baby girl into her emerald eyes. "Amelia, you're going to go live with some of my friends for a little bit okay?"
"But i don't wanna weave you, mommy," Amelia says upset. She wraps her arms around me not wanting to go. Tears well up in my eyes as I don't want to send her away. I don't want her hurt. "Pwease, pwease mommy." I shut my eyes biting my lip. Trying to hold back from crying.
"Amelia, baby look at me," I whisper bending down setting her down on the ground. We meet each others eyes. "Kitten, i want to give you your best chance. And your best chance isn't with me or Camila or Ally or Dinah or Normani." She looks down at the ground. I here her soft sobs. I place my hand on her chin and lift it up. "Kitten I love you. I will never, ever stop loving you."
"I wove you too mommy," Amelia whispers and falls into me hugging me. I wrap my arms around her, my left hand on the back of her hand rubbing her soft blackish hair. We break apart and i stand up. She slides her hand into mine. I look up and meet Camila's eyes. Tears are filled in them. I bite my lip and shake my head. I walk past her not saying a thing. Halfway back to the house I turn around and see Camila standing in the barn. Turning back around I run into Ally.
"I'm going to go pack Amelia's bags. Can you let the other...other girls know?" I say, softly. Ally nods sympathetically. As we walk past she places a hand on my shoulder and rubs it. I give her a slight smile and walk into the house.
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Ally pulls up to the orphanage. I look at Amelia and get out of the car. Dinah brings Amelia around the car a minute later. I grab Amelia's hand and wait. Dinah and Ally grab Amelia's bags. We take her up to the front door and knock. A woman appears. "Lauren, what are you doing here dear?" Ms. Kenny asks. I've known her since I was 4. She used to be my baby sitter.
"Can we talk?" I ask, my voice cracks. Ms. Kenny nods with a worried expression across her face.
"Yes, yes of course. Come in, come in," Ms. Kenny says stepping out of the way so we could come in. I hand Amelia over to Dinah. Me and Ms. Kenny walk into a private room. I sit down in a chair and she sits down across from me in her office chair. "What's going on Laur?"
"That little girl, she's my daughter," I whisper.
"She looks just like you, Lo. But why are you bringing her here?"
"I need you to watch over her. We can't. I...I can't," I pause and take a moment to breathe. "I want her to have her best chance.....and that's not with me." Ms. Kenny leans forward and takes my hands in her's.
"Lauren, you are a strong young lady. A kid is a lot of responsibility. I understand but are you sure this is the best idea?" She pauses and looks me dead in the eye. "You know giving her up for adoption anyone can take her and i have no power over who does." I nod my head yes.
"I know, but you know what the parents look like before they come right?" Ms. Kenny nods her head yes. "Just before you make Amelia go and meet anyone please, please, please make sure they look like good people."
"I will Lauren. I'll take care of her as if she was my own." I nod blessed right now. "I think it's best if we go so you can say your last goodbyes." I nod and we stand up heading out where we left Amelia, Dinah, and Ally. Amelia runs towards me. I bend down and she runs into my arms. Everyone's watching.
"Amelia," I start. We pull apart. This is going to be the hardest part. "Amelia, this is where I have to go."
"Where mommy? Why can't I come?" Amelia says quickly. I hold her tiny hands in mine.
"It's....it's like a vacation for....big people," I pause trying to play it off so it won't be so hard. "Ms. Kenny is going to take real, real, real good care of you, okay? You'll have her and other kids here."
"Mommy, pwease." I shake my head no.
"Kitten im sorry-" tears well up. I shut my eyes and reopen them. Tears slide down Amelia's cheeks. I place my thumbs on her cheeks rubbing my thumbs back and forth. Mostly to get rid of the tears but also to keep her calm. "It's okay, kitten. Remember I love you. Mommy will always.....always love you and will never...never stop loving you." I lean forwards and kiss the top of her head. I lean back. "Bye kitten." I stand up and look at Ally and Dinah. They nod but they're in tears. Ms. Kenny bends down to Amelia's height as me, Ally, and Dinah head out. As we're about out the door I feel small arms wrap around my leg. I look down and see Amelia.
"Mommy pwease! Pwease stay with me!" Amelia cried and begged. Ally bends down and gets Amelia off my leg. Once Ally gets her off, Dinah wraps her arms around me escorting me out of the orphanage. Outside I heard Amelia's screams of cries. Dinah opens the car door and I get in. At that moment I couldn't bare it anymore. I let the tears unleash. I can't believe I did this. I gave up my baby girl............................... I gave up my kitten.