I just realised how stupid I had been about my whole interaction with Jason.

As I went about my daily activities which included working out in the morning and spending the rest of the day practicing for the fashion show, I found that all I could think about was Jason.

I replayed that last conversation we had multiple times in my head wondering what I could have said or done wrong to actually get some answers.

Our conversation had been completely vague and left a lot to the imagination.

So alas, I had many more questions than answers. Like for example
I hadn't even asked him how long he'd be gone.

Or if we were actually still 'fake dating' so that I would know what to tell everyone else. Especially the other models.

Anyway, it's not like they were talking to me either way.

But most importantly, I needed to know what that shift that I felt in my emotions was and if he felt it too.

I kept pushing the thoughts back thinking that obsessing over what I thought I felt for Jason was just my way of dealing with Alex and Isabella.

I still didn't let myself think about the idea of the two people I once trusted so much... together.
I hadn't even gotten any calls from either of them lately which was a relief. Because I didn't know how I would react.

It had been four days since Jason left and I had never felt as lonely as I did now.

The only person I really got to talk to was Carl, when he would drive me to and from practice.
Anthony had been distant lately, only texting me once a day to check on me and asking me if I needed anything.

Whenever I would invite him over, he would say he was busy with something.

Maybe I was just being paranoid but I felt completely put of the loop.

Especially with Jason.

Maybe I was being too presumptuous about a sudden change in our relationship but I was so sure that he'd at least call or text me.

I guess I was wrong.

Many times I debated on whether I should text or call him but the thought frightened me. What if I was completely off about all this?

All the doubt drove me crazy.

I watched Tammy and Denise's show; 'Whispers'.

I wasn't mentioned at all.

But of course Jason was. He was spotted along with his mother, Diana, Miranda and Farah at a high end restaurant in Sydney.

The only other Callahan news was centered around Anthony, Mr Callahan and little Max paying a visit to an orphanage in Mexico. Everyone was gushing at how adorable Max looked interacting with everyone.

I crawled into bed that night. It was the night I finally ran out of things to occupy my mind with.

It was a night when I finally grasped how quiet it was and how alone I really was.

I thought about Alex and realized finally that I truly had lost him.

I had no one.
And that's when I finally let the tears escape.