~

Clouds loomed over the castle as the day of the funeral arrived. All of my fathers closest friends and fellow rulers were invited. It was a bittersweet gathering of powerful people and their families. It was never to happen like this, this was not something the gods if any realm would wish upon a man such as my father. To leave a family so knit together in torn shreds was a horror many men in this role feared, but the chances of it happening in our calm kingdom was slim.

It was a slow morning for me, starting the moment Helena ripped open my curtains to reveal the outside world. I hadn't slept a wink all night, leaving my eyes bloodshot and puffy. The silk sheets were tear stained and wrinkled from my tossing. A part of me hoped if my feet never touched the ground and my body never left the bed, I could convince myself that this was just a poorly concocted dream. One could dream, I suppose, yet when my feet hit the cold floor, any hope for my theory to be true flew out the large doors to my balcony with the blowing curtains.

After cleaning my body with various lavender scented soaps and combing out the mess of bedhead that was my hair, the older woman wasted no time pulling me into shape. The heavy truck of my bedpost was cold as I held onto it, sucking in my breath as the corset mother insisted I wear was tightened around my body. Though we were in grieving, she could never let her children look sloppy in front of others. The effort was routine at this point in my life, but the binding material changed only a small part of my figure that had slimmed in the last two days. 

What can I say, emotional pain was quite the appetite killer. 

The tufted stool of my vanity shifted below the weight of my partially dressed body as the loud thud of a door caught our attention. "I see we take to dressing in a very lax manner" The chirpy voice of my sibling tuts. Aviana was quite the fifteen year old, stubborn and wilder than the wind with a mouth on her strong enough to make a sailor flinch. This was the exact way a princess should be, in my opinion. "You're quite lighthearted today, have you been picking a red or white type of poison?" I reply, rolling my eyes and turning back to the mirror. 

"Are you prepared for this? You know Charles will be here" She questions, a faint smile appearing on her lips. She enjoyed taunting me far too much for someone who "borrows" half of my wardrobe without asking. Taking a sharp breath in at the mention of my betrothed, I realize the marriage will be pushed now. France needed our ties and I was of age finally, there was no reason not to proceed. I guess it hadn't quite set in until these last moments that I wasn't that young girl who could run around the castle barefoot, and I could never go back to her again. 

Nodding, I raise my head to smile a the small girl, so young and innocent. She always thought better of the world, more positive. The dark locks us children all sported made her look more mature with the way they were twisted and rolled back to reveal her still childlike round face. She couldn't wait to marry, thinking we would all fall in love and live happily ever after. I could see myself in her, a version that existed somewhere deep down. "As ready as one can be when staring down their fate" I hum, watching the last of my hair be manipulated into an updo. 

~

~

The ride to the church was quiet, but that was to be expected. None of us knew how to grieve quite right in this situation, we have never had to do such a thing. We were blessed with sweet lives and solid family roots. Mother decided to ride with us in our carriage as well as James's betrothed, Alena. She was the overly sweet, blonde princess of the kingdom of the Netherlands. We had grown quite close in the time she spent in wait of a wedding in our court. Mothers hand softly rubs the head of the sleeping baby in her arms, rocking side to side keep him calm.  

Soon after we found out about the deaths, we were informed a group of Protestants held my father and brother hostage, and when their guards had reached the site, they discovered they had already killed my family. The leaders of this angry mob had disappeared into the night as fast as they appeared, leaving no trace behind. It was a ghost story that would haunt us all. 

There were marks all over the royals bodies showing they didn't go down without a fight, a sign they knew their fate but didn't want to seem weak. Having your people see you as weak was a fate worse than death to my father, but none of that mattered to us in the end. They were gone, and they were never coming back no matter how strong they were in the end. 

A sigh escapes my mouth as we arrive at the church, a crowd of royals clad in black fill the pristinely white cathedral. I had been to a few funerals before in my life, but none of those made me feel the way I felt now. "Reluctance won't change this, Steri" Aviana hums, nudging me towards the door softly. Stepping out into the light, Anders lets out a small whine as the cold wind hits us, catching the attention of Catherine De Medici.

"Alegra, I'm so sorry. A man knows no pain like a mother burying her child" Catherine coos. It never crossed my mind when I sent out word that this would hurt her as much as us, she had just buried her son Francis a few months prior. I hope to never know the pain my mother was living in my lifetime, I'd imagine it'd kill me. It was foolish at my age to think that I would marry for love, but I had hope for my life.  "Thank you, Catherine. I'm sorry to hear about Francis. He was loved by us all" My mother replies, holding her hand with her own free one. The connection between the two mourning mothers was evident. 

"Asteria, look at you. You've grown into a breathtaking future queen. I remember when you and Charles were just children, chasing Francis and Mary around the castle" The queen hums, turning and smiling sweetly at me. It was a sweet gesture that distracted me from what my life had entailed recently, even just for a moment. Trumpeters interrupt our conversation, meaning it was time to begin. Claud links her arms in mine, my hand clutching hers and pulls me when my legs refuse to move. We have always been close, and today I'm more thankful than ever for her friendship. It was a lighthouse to a lost ship in the dark, frigid cold arctic. 

Charles kept his distance, but his eyes stayed on us as we approach. He too had grown into something of beauty, with his deep brown eyes and weak smile. I don't doubt he knows just as well as I that this changed everything for us, but how he would take it was up to him. Shooting the Aviana a sided gaze with a nod, we prepare to say goodbye to our past lives.