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so insanely grateful for elvera and everyone at @Fusion 🖤 forever thankful to be able to express this beautiful new chapter in our own way

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Fusion!
ADIRA AND JUSTIN BIEBER: THE NEW CHAPTER
September 2019 Issue
by Elvera Rone

"I'm ready to pop," Adira says, settling into her mustard yellow couch. The 23-year-old singer sits relaxed with her husband Justin Bieber's arm slung across her shoulder. It's a sight I've grown familiar with in the time we've spent together, journeying through their life as a newlywed couple and expecting parents. Their months of seclusion as they await the arrival of their first child—who Bieber affectionately calls Pluto, named after his favourite planet—have been filled with laughter and smiles, all away from prying eyes on their Canadian ranch, the home they bought at the end of last year as the first permanent in their relationship.

Bieber laughs, then casts an admiring look at her belly. "They're going to make their entrance when they're ready," he says. The faraway look in his eyes takes me back to our first real talk. He was vulnerable and raw, revealing his fears about taking on his most important role: father. It's a role he's taken great pride in. He's decorated the nursery. He's sang lullabies every night. He's rubbed Adira's belly every chance he can get. And he says he's never been happier than with just the two of them, their dogs, and their best friends.

"I want to be there for everything, you know? I don't want to miss anything," he said to me as we walked through the couple's garden. The 25-year-old says it's been difficult to picture his road to fatherhood as he still deals with the remnants of his estranged relationship with his own father, Jeremy Bieber. "I'm scared because I know how it feels to want your father in your life and how damaging it is when they aren't. My dad isn't a deadbeat. I think that's a big misconception. He was immature, and I understand it now, but I don't think that erases how that felt for me. I don't want my child to feel that. I want to be present, so I'm learning from people I know who have their own kids."

Bieber, who became a teen pop sensation at the age of 16, is honest about his feelings, but it's not hard to see he can get stuck in his own head. It's impossible to know what's behind his eyes—the pressures of young fame, failed relationships, struggling connections with his parents—but his pain is heartfelt and potent. "I think it's hard to trust people," he tells me, eyes panning to the sky. "And that was definitely something I struggled especially hard with after my last relationship. You can put so much of yourself into someone and get nothing from it, but I think Adira's been so supportive—and we've both been through a lot of different things—so we can find our strength in each other and build each other up."

Justin and Adira have a long history, dating back to 2011, when she watched him perform his infamous Baby at a charity concert. Adira was riding the wave of her hit you and i, while Justin was relishing in his newfound teen idol status, and she admits he left her with a bad taste in her mouth. "I honestly didn't like him," she reflects now, laughing. "He had his little hair swoop going on, and he had the cockiest grin, and I was like, 'There's no way this guy is for real.' We didn't even speak, or anything like that. I just know there was a lot of screaming."

Justin remembers the concert, shaking his head with a chuckle. "I mean, I probably was cocky, I'll admit. I was on top of the world. That's a lot of power for a kid." And it was. Bieber's rise to become one of the world's biggest pop stars began upon his discovery by record executive Scooter Braun after his mother, Pattie Mallette, posted a homemade video of him singing to YouTube. Bieber signed a record deal at the age of 14, and his first album, My World, shot him to stardom. The fame didn't come without its sacrifices, he says. "I think for both of us, because we both started our careers when we were so young, you can get a type of attitude. You feel untouchable. It all gets to you after a while, though. You have tons of people hoping you fail, and that gets into your head, and you make a lot of mistakes."

Bieber enjoyed the fame at first, basking in the love and adoration he received from millions of teenage girls. By 2014, he had transformed from the perfectly packaged teen idol to self-destructive superstar. He urinated in a mop bucket. He egged a neighbour's house. He was caught sneaking out of a brothel in Brazil. He was charged for driving under the influence, driving with an expired license, and resisting arrest after drag-racing his Lamborghini in Miami Beach. His monkey was seized at customs in Germany. "Some of it's funny to me now," he tells me, appearing torn between finding amusement in his teenage antics or admonishing the person he used to be. "Like, who wouldn't want a monkey? But I definitely had a lot of ego. I was wrapped up in this life I had, to the point that sex and drugs were all my life was." He began struggling with Xanax and alcohol addiction as he attempted to escape the demands of fame. "I was doing things I was ashamed of and that let me get out of my own head. It got bad. I was in the darkest place I've ever been."

Adira's story doesn't stray much from Justin's. Shooting to fame at the age of 16, her own stardom took an abrupt turn. From her mother's diagnosis with lung cancer, to her brother and childhood best friend taking their own lives, to her relationship unravelling for the entire world to see, to her DUI charge, to her time in a rehabilitation centre, Adira finds it hard to wrap her mind around everything at times. "I know how hard it is to lose yourself. People say things without knowing you, and you don't even know who you are anymore. In a world like ours, they strip you away, so I reached out to him." The two dated briefly three years ago, but it ended abruptly. Adira acknowledges it was something she struggled with at the beginning of their relationship. "I mean, there's a level of trust that's broken. I loved him, and then, you know, you get kind of bombarded with the headlines. He was happy—a different kind of happiness to what we had—and it made me question a lot of things." The two reconnected as Adira took time away from the spotlight and filmed her mini-documentary near the beginning of 2018. "We started making music together, and he was a really good friend, kind of my shoulder to cry on. It was a really good time for the two of us just to get to know each other again."

In the time since they've reconnected, they've had to deal with a legion of struggles, from Adira's personal battles being plastered across headlines to Justin's own divorce. "A lot happened. It takes a toll on you. We talk about everything all the time, just because there are obviously things we're still working through. We've become closer than ever, though." Adira nods. "We communicate. We make time for each other. We let each other know how we're feeling. I'm an emotional person, and I think Adira balances everything out. She's my centre." He confesses they've spent a lot more time with each other throughout Adira's pregnancy. "It's been good for us to be in our own bubble to just enjoy this. We've both stepped back from a lot of things. I've got so much respect for pregnant women. Honestly." He laughs, and Adira rolls her eyes. "It's hard, but I've loved every second. I wouldn't trade my life now for the world."

With my camera in hand, I walked into a bridal suite filled with the bustling of shuffling feet, murmurs, and swirling dresses. Amala Flynn, Adira's sister, greeted me with a large smile on their face, like we'd been friends for years. "It's all a bit crazy right now," she said, looking around at the suite's chaos. Adira looked like a ball of nerves in her wedding dress as Mikey Creque, her best friend, laid her hands on her shoulders and tried to calm her down. Robbie Gray, her manager, stood behind her, straightening her veil. Taylor Swift was a blushing beauty as she fixed her gown. Mikey's nieces—Willow, Chi, and Leia—chased each other around the room, while her sisters—Nola, Nicola, and Noor—stood before the mirror, touching up their makeup.

It all moves quickly. One minute Adira turns, notices me, and rushes to give me a hug. She's nervous, she says, but excited. In the next minute, the music starts. A light melody embraces the small crowd as Justin's grandparents lead the way down the aisle. Everyone—the less than thirty people—beams at the wedding party. It's the third minute now. Justin shines with happiness as he makes his way to the altar, where he offers the priest a smooth nod. For the final minute, guests are enraptured with Adira. Her mother's favourite flower shines in her bouquet, she grips Robbie's arm, and Justin tears up watching his bride walk down the aisle.

In classic Bieber, Justin stumbles over his vows, and people break out into laughter. The laughter dies down as they watch on. It's a silent, endearing, tearful moment when he promises his soul to her. "Adira, I can still remember when I knew I was in love with you," he starts, holding her hands tightly, eyes boring into hers. He tells the story of the two enjoying a picnic and watching the roaring ocean below them. He remembers looking over and seeing the wind blow her hair behind her, completely mesmerising him. He prayed to stay right there with her forever. His emotions almost choke him as he speaks, leaving the audience—and myself—to aw, to smile, and to grow teary-eyed. "My heart is yours."

"This is all unreal. I never thought we'd make it to this," Amala says to me one day as we sit together on the couple's backyard swing. It's a fitting, ripe statement. No one could imagine that the two biggest pop stars in the world, with all their trials and their new beginnings, would find their way to each other. "Adira's always been my rock, my person. She's always been there for me. Even when we were younger, no matter what I needed, she was there for me." From holding her every time she had a nightmare, to flour fights in the kitchen, to dancing whenever they got the chance, the sisters have always been close—a closeness only amplified by the people they've lost over the years. "She's everything. She cares like no other person I've ever met. To see how happy she is with Justin and to witness how happy they make each other is a blessing."

The wedding was a spur of the moment celebration with family and friends, Adira says now. "I wanted it to be very low-key. Justin and I pretty much decided from the start that this was all going to be something for the two of us. We didn't want to share it with too many people until we were ready." It's a drastic shift for the artist, who's been notoriously close with her fans, reaching out to share snippets of new songs, sharing her feelings in witty tweets, and enjoying plenty of laughs. Many have noticed her shy away from Twitter, and she says it didn't come without some thought. "I love them. They're my people, and they know that, but I think it's one of those things that happens. You develop a new boundary. I'm able to have things for me and them, but then I can come home and have my things with Justin and my friends. They're both beautiful, but they're separate."

Justin's own relationship with his fans has shifted over the past decade, too. "I appreciate that I'm able to make music and share it with people who care about me and what I create. There's a lot I wouldn't be able to do without them." But it's all taken a backseat, he admits, as the strength of his marriage and becoming the man, husband, and father he wants to be have been his focus over the last few months. It's the second marriage for Bieber—a fact he says isn't lost on him. "A couple years ago I said I had a vision of the man I wanted to be. I was able to look at myself and see my flaws, and I put in the work to be a good husband, but sometimes that isn't enough for the relationship to survive on. Betrayal is a hard thing to acknowledge and try to work through, because it leaves you with a lot of scars you aren't even aware of until you're in the moment with someone else. With Adira, we don't beat around the bush. It's about getting those feelings out and trying to be better for each other every day. When you add the layer of having your first child, it's such an intimate thing. It's special, and we're just all about protecting our happiness and our peace right now."

A part of their time away from social media has been Bieber and Adira's steadfastness in protecting the privacy of their child. "It's something that's been important to us since the beginning," Adira says. "We're both people who didn't grow up in the spotlight. We were thrown into this, in a sense, and we know it's overwhelming when you feel like the choice isn't in your own hands." She says she's excited for her child to grow up on the ranch, away from the demands of the Hollywood lifestyle. "I think the greenery is so calming. There's so much to do. I'm all about giving your child the space to explore their interests, and we want to give them that sense of being grounded," she tells me earnestly. "The ranch is their big playground."

It was only last year when Adira graced the cover of Fusion! as she escaped into her haven. She talked excitedly about her then-unnamed third album, and while most would've taken a break from their career as they prepared to be a first-time mother, Adira says that was never her plan. "I definitely don't think I was going to. I knew there would probably be less I could do, but the music—and putting the music out into the world—is the most important thing to me. I want to be able to share the music I create with people without having to worry about that extra shit."

fifth of november, Adira's latest album, tells the story of her life in the past few years, from the volatile end of her last relationship to putting the past to rest and allowing herself to love again. "The fifth of November is the day I found out my mom had cancer. I used to hate that day. After my mom died, every year, on the fifth, I would do a lot of reckless things. I think it just put up a wall between me and everything else. I mean, I used to see the fifth as the reason everything I knew and loved and cherished was slowly being taken away from me, the reason the no longer in control of who I was and who I wanted to be." She rests her hands on her stomach—something, she's told me before, that comforts her. "I think it's symbolic now. My little survival date. Like, I did it. I'm here, and I did it."

When I ask Justin if he was ever opposed to the release of an album as the two prepared to welcome their first child, he thinks for a moment, then says, "I think I was pretty hesitant at first, just because I know first-hand how gruelling album cycles can be, and I didn't want her to be doing something she didn't have to do." He looks at her. "But I trust Adira, and I trust Robbie, and I knew they would always have the safety of 'Dira and our baby as the first priority. So, I wasn't opposed—maybe cautious—but it's worked out, and I'm proud of her. I've seen how hard she works, and that kind of drive—that motivation—she has inspires me. She's a powerful woman."

"Powerful is an understatement," says Mikey on the phone to me, her screaming nieces racing around in the background. "I've been there for all of 'Dira's lows and highs since the very beginning. She's one of the strongest women I know. The things she been through—I don't think a lot of people could do it and come out on the other end the way she has." Creque and Adira, who met on the set of Adira's you and i music video shoot in 2011, have long showcased their friendship—a friendship that only swelled as they got each other through their lowest points. "I've learned so much from her as a sister, as a person. I've never met someone with a heart so big and with so much to give. She's a gift."

In Adira's eyes, the real gift may be her mother's lasting spirit. "My mom is someone I carry with me  no matter what I'm doing. When I think of being a mother, and I think about everything she went through raising me, Amala, and Aden alone, I admire her. That's hard shit. I think it's transformed into a different admiration because I get to experience, in a way, what she did, and it's difficult. Especially after Juno"—she pauses as she mentions the sobriquet of the child she lost last year after she suffered brutal abuse at the hands of her former fiancé, Zayn Malik; Justin links his fingers with hers; and a pregnant silence falls on us—"I've been really anxious. I've felt guilty at times. There's a lot of worrying and crying and reaching out for support. It's a hard thing to realise how much you're going to have to be for this precious little human. It's beautiful, and exciting, and nerve-racking, and so many other things. You go through so many emotions, so I look at my mom and the type of woman she was, and I'm like, 'She's my person. I want to be what she was for me for them.' But I think I find a sort of peace in knowing she would want me to do things my way. I'm going to keep her there with me, but I'm going to forge my own path."

It's a sentiment not lost on Justin. "As much as we're going to try our best for them, and as much as we both look to other people for a sort of guidance, we've kind of accepted that it's going to be something that's special and unique to us. You have to make your own decisions and your own mistakes. There's a lot to learn, because you're not going to get it right all the time," he says, sounding sincere, headstrong, and in his element. "I know how rewarding it's going to be to be there for them and watch them grow into the best person they can be. This is our own journey to that, even with all its cracks and imperfections."

Adira grins. "It's been beautiful so far."

NOTES
the end

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