**Explicit Language**

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- Carly
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*Present Day*

The sun set pretty quickly and we all gathered around the fire. "What did you feel like when you woke up?" Someone asked and I leaned my head on Shane's shoulder. He leaned his head on mine and I watched Rick stroke Carls hair. "Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear. Confusion. But Disoriented... that comes closest."

Dale put his cup down. "Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short." "I felt like Id been ripped from my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something that I might not wake up from ever." Rick said and I sighed. "Mom and Aunt Nattie said you died." Carl said and I looked up at Ricks eyes. They met mine and he smiled. "They had ever reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it." Rick said and I smiled. I played in the dirt with a stick, still leaning on Shane.

Lori explained how they were gonna medevac the patients to Atlanta when it got bad. I stopped listening and just moved the stick around in the dirt. I felt my shoulder vibrate and I figured Shane was talking. I started to fall asleep slightly but I kept my eyes open.

I heard shuffling up by the Peltier's camp and Ed threw a log in the fire. "Hey Ed, you wanna rethink that log?" Shane said to Ed and I leaned into him. "It's cold, man." He said and I knew this was gonna get bad. "That doesn't change the rules does it?" Shane said. "I said it's cold man. Why don't you mind your own damn business for once." Ed said and Shane carefully lifted me off and leaned me on T thinking I was asleep and stalked over to Ed. I shifted slightly and sat up straight. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I looked over and Carol took the log out of the fire at Ed's command and Shane stomped it out. I looked back to see Rick was staring at me and I smiled tiredly in his direction.

I looked down to see that Carl yawned and I smiled. Shane came back shortly after and I sighed as he pulled me back to his shoulder. "Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear that his brothers been left behind." Dale said and I looked over to him. "I'll tell 'em. I dropped the key. It's on me." T said and I didn't agree. "I cuffed him. That makes it mine." Rick said and I really didn't want him talking to Daryl when he was angry.

Glenn intervened. "Guys, It's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this but it might sound better coming from a white guy." He said and I sighed. "Or a white girl." I heard someone say and I looked over at Andrea. "Huh?" I asked and she looked she stared at me. "Sorry, but your the closest to him out of anyone here, including his brother. Who better to tell him than you?" She said and I considered it but I didn't really want to die this week. "He's mad at me right now. Besides, I really don't want his knife in my eye...." I said and they agreed. "We could lie?" Any suggested but Andrea shot her down.

I looked over at them. "Or tell the truth. Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he would have gotten us killed. Your husband did what was necessary. and if Merle got left behind, it is no ones fault but Merle's." Andrea said and Dale spoke up again. "And that's what we tell Daryl? I don't see a rational discussion coming from that, Do you? Word to the wise, we are gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

T shuffled around. "I was scared and I ran." "We were all scared. We all ran. What's your point?" Andrea said and T looked over at her. "I stopped long enough to chain that door. Staircase is narrow, maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at one time. It's not enough to break through that. Not that chain. Not that padlock. My point is, Dixon's alive. And he's still up there, handcuffed to that roof. That's on us." T said and he stood up and walked to his tent. Everyone started to walk to their tents and Shane picked me up bride-style and he started talking towards the RV. He put me down and climbed up the ladder and I climbed up behind him.

I was really tired but I guess I can keep Shane company. Rick smiled up at us as he walked into his tent and it was officially just us out here. I sat on the chair next to him. I was still slightly in shock from Rick coming back and I looked over at Shane.

A thought crossed my mind. Shane lied. Rick wasn't dead. I never got to see in to see him so I wouldn't know if he was dead or not. My jaw clenched and I looked back down at the ground. Shane knew. Shane knew Rick wasn't dead and he lied to me and Ricks family. He lied to me and took us away from him. Yea, I know we had to leave but Shane forced us. We could have barricaded the house or something. We could have found a building or something to fortify and live there with Rick.

I sighed angrily and Shane looked over. "What's the matter with you?" He asked and I glared over at him. I looked back at the ground and he stood up. He walked over in front of me and squatted down. "Nat? What's the matter?" He asked and I shook my head. I started to get up and walk away when Shane grabbed my arm.

I shoved him off and started to walk into the forest. I needed to be away from him. He would just go straight to my tent. He started following me but then called someone else to be on guard. It started raining and I could tell I was leaving a trail for him to follow but I didn't care. It was raining badly and I stopped, knowing he was right behind me. "Nat, come on. Tell me what's wrong." He said and I sighed.

I turned to face him and stomped over. I smacked my hand across his face and he was taken back slightly. He looked over at me and I stared him dead in the eye. "You knew. You knew Rick wasn't dead and you lied to me. You fucking knew." I said and I turned and started back to camp.

Shane grabbed my arm and started trying to reason with me. I pulled back and only one thought continued to cross my mind.

That asshole, he fucking knew.