Ryan....

After the long safe journey we finally landed and reached our hotel. She was amazed to see the room we were staying in. The staff arranged our luggage in the corner of the room and congratulated us while we smiled back at him, "Have a Good day Mam, Sir", he said and left the room while I closed the door behind him.

I turned back noticing Lizz exploring the room and the balcony which had a beach view from it and her jaw dropped making a "Wow" look on her face. As soon as she saw me staring at her again, she rolled back her eyes at me.

God!
Her tantrums!

"Stop staring at me every time", she fired back at me removing her shoes and keeping it aside.

"Why? Falling for me?", I responded back passing her my signature smirk.

"In your dreams Ryan Woods....", she took her bag while taking out her clothes from it.

"Yeah Right. You are in my dreams too", I softly said taking a step towards her.

She took steps back in return and placed her bag on the couch, "Any new business deal for coming here....", I heard her asking maintaining a stern face.
I know what she is thinking but this is just for you Lizz. I just want to make you feel special and apologize for all my deeds. I know I have hurt you enough but I'm really sorry for whatever I did to you.

"Yes, personal deals, Mrs. Woods", I replied back to her trying to make the air light and breathable. It was getting tensed up.

She shifted back the locks of her hair behind her ear while my eyes were still focused on her. I kept taking my steps in her direction until her feet touched the edge of the bed and she immediately sat on the bed trying to make the most possible distance between us. I leaned forward and caressed her cheeks, "I'm here to make everything right, Lizz."

"You are late, Ryan", she pushed me back and moved passing by me when I gently held her hand. I could see those tears pooling in her eyes while she tried to ignore any eye contact with me. I moved in her direction to face her and pinned my index finger only to lift her chin up. A drop of tears fell down from her eyes while she tried to get rid off my hold.

She was holding on for too long. I know she has so many unanswered questions from me and I'm ready to answer each one of them. If that is what makes her feel better, I'm ready to do that.
She is just hurt and I'm the reason. I will try my best to let her speak her heart out.

I wiped off the tears from her cheeks and pulled her into a hug. Watching her like this only made my heart clenched in pain.
I could feel her taking small breathes in the crook of my neck. I ruffled her hair and kissed on the top of her head.

"Your Ryan is the reason of your pain, Lizz. This is what I was scared of..... Hurting you.... And look at you today, I ended up doing the same", I said, my voice getting cracked.

I heard her sobbing clutching my jacket tighter in her fist. I know she is so strong. And she is trying her best not to lose it. But today, I just want her to stop. I want her to be delicate. I want her to be soft which I know she is. I just want her let go off whatever is making her heart heavy. I just want her to be free from all the pain she is going through.

"Your Ryan? You were never mine.....", she chuckled sadly facing me while she was still in my arms.

"I'm yours. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow", I replied back confidently looking into her sad eyes.

"Yesterday? Oh....yes, you were my best friend. I do remember. Today? Oh..... We are on our honeymoon. I see. Tomorrow? You will confess me that it was a business deal", she smiled sadly.

"What if I change the 'Tomorrow' part? Will you let me?", I whispered back making my hold tighter on her.

Her eyes roamed everywhere in the room except looking at mine, "It's not about the 'Tomorrow' part.... Ryan. It's the 'Yesterday' part. This doesn't let you live your today and even tomorrow."

Her words echoed inside my head while my hands loosened the hold on her and she immediately get rid off my hold and took her clothes and went inside the washroom.

The room was filled with the silent truth which the walls heard right now. I called the room service and ordered the dinner for us. It was almost evening and I can surely say that Lizz is also as hungry as me.

After few minutes.....

I heard the door open and Lizzy came out of the washroom after taking her shower. I took out my clothes and went inside the washroom to freshen up not before telling her to receive the dinner which she nodded back in return.

I took a rapid shower and changed into a comfortable clothes. Today will be our rest day as it's almost going to be night so we will probably explore the place from tomorrow.

I came out of the washroom while she was already serving the food on our plates. I took a seat beside her and the whole dinner went in silence. We just talked to our parents and informed them about us reaching safely.

The whole journey was too hectic so I took the side of my bed to sleep, if that comes. My eyes fell on Lizz as she took the pillow from the bed and started making her bed on the couch.

"What are you trying to do?", I asked already knowing what she is doing.
"I will sleep on the couch", she said blankly without even looking at me. She tried taking her blanket when I grabbed the other side of it and pulled it back to me with a greater force. Causing her to almost fall on me.

"That will cause you sprain, sleep here", I replied back softly.

She frowned back at me pulling the blanket back to her side, "I won't...."

"You better not, Lizz. I won't mind sleeping with you on the same couch", I smirked back at her.

She left the blanket and turned her head around, "Don't do this, Ryan. I'm not asking you for anything.... I don't want this anymore. "

I stood up and turned her to face me, "Then, what do you want Lizz? I'm ready for everything......"

"Then, leave me Ryan.... Let me go. Just end this all.....", she shouted back at me with tears flowing down her cheeks.

As soon as those words left her mouth I felt my world has been lifted around and if someone is taking my life away from me.

I can't.... I can't leave her.....

I can't live without her!

I kept my eyes on her face which actually reflected her overwhelming feelings going inside her. Her pain, her tears.... That was so evident to me. The more she is trying to hide, the more it's visible to me.
Guilt was eating me from inside but I chose to keep it down to my throat. At least she is speaking her heart out now.

"Marrying you was never my choice, Ryan. Just like you I was also stuck in that. But I was left with no any other option. I have spent ten years of my life without love, without parents and then Mom and Dad came into my life.

They filled every inch of my loneliness with their love. Mom has always been my support system and Dad.... (sobbing)..... Dad, he is my life.... They have given me this whole life, Ryan. They took my misery away. They love me so much and I love them too. You knew that, right?"

I nodded and took a step ahead to hold her but she took her step back in return raising her hand in the air. She nodded back at me with a 'No look' on her face.

She wiped off the tears flowing down her cheeks with the back of her hand, "Neither I can betray them nor I can lose them.... You knew it. Still you hated me for something in which we were equally at fault. But see the fate, Ryan.... See the fate.... I'm betraying them from the last two months because I can't afford to lose them. And it's all because of you!!!!!

You are the reason, you..... Just you, Ryan! I failed to be the best daughter and you pushed me to the level where I failed to be a wife, Ryan. You broke my dream....
You broke my heart.... You broke our friendship. I have no one to talk about my helplessness and I'm done with this life now.....", she shouted back throwing her hands in the air.

I could sense both hurt and anger in her voice after all I deserved it.
"You treated me like your other whores. You left me in my misery, Ryan. You left me....", and with that she broke down in front of me.
Her knees touching the ground, she cried..... She cried miserably.

My Lizz broke down and I'm the reason. I immediately caught her up in my arms and made her sit on the bed. I bent down on both the knees and cupped her face in my hands.

"Trust me once.... Just once, Lizz", I wiped back her tears and took her in my arms.

"My forgiveness will be my selfishness but I still want it because I can't afford to lose you", I replied softly in her ears.

"I know I'm asking you for too much but please forgive me, Lizz! I will prove myself.... Please don't go!"

I brought her face closer to mine shifting the front locks of her hair behind her ear, "I'm not trying to hide my mistakes but I'm just pleading with you to forgive me. And give one chance. Lizz..... I can't imagine my life without you. My heart is dying to see you smiling again in front of me. My eyes start searching for you the moment you leave my sight. These days....your ignorance didn't let me sleep peacefully. That has literally made me feel worst. I realised this was the way you felt. And I deserve this.... I know I deserve this..... ", my voice broke until it reached the last sentence. I put my forehead on her lap. I wasn't able to face her. Guilt was eating me every second.

She made me look into her puffy eyes, "No.... stop saying that. You deserve the best, Ryan. You are my best friend and you have stood beside me whenever I needed anyone. You have even let me cry on your shoulder when I used to be on my cramp days.

She held my hand and made me sit on the bed beside her while our forehead touched each other. "You have listened to my stupid blabbering and that too about aliens" and I chuckled softly hearing her.

You took me for rides whenever I felt low. You cooked for me when my parents were not home and I needed something special to eat. You have done everything, Ryan. You have given meaning to my life. It's just that we are not meant to be together in this marriage..... I'm not your type.....Ryan..... I'm not your type. That's why I'm asking you to get free from me. Let's end this.....", she tried to make me understand.

I looked at her in shock, "How can you say that? If this is not meant to be, then why did you do everything like a wife does?", I asked her back.

"I was just.....", she tried to answer back when I put my finger on her lips.
"No 'I was just.' You are stuck with me now.... For this whole life. In fact, in all the lives after this, I would still choose you. And that's final", I said back confidently caressing her cheeks.

"I want to be with you, Lizz..... That's it. Lizz, just give me one chance and..... ", and she cut me off in between and the next thing she said froze my heart.

"Kiss me now, Ryan......"

***************************************

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Divya Shaily