Luke didn't know how to feel sitting with Rolus alone. He was feeling the hatred, yes, but he managed to dull it to avoid it clouding his judgement. He was not going to let his emotions cloud the fact that his mate was sitting in front of him. That his mate was real and it didn't matter if it was Rolus. He could get past that. He knew now without a doubt that Rolus was not lying. Everyone knew, except him.

He couldn't feel relief because the hatred was clouding it, but he knew that he was relieved. Relieved that Rolus chose to step up and declare him as his mate.

Rolus seemed nervous. He kept on running his hand through his hair, looking this way and that. He never looked at Luke.

Luke was not going to be the first to talk. Rolus had something to say, and Luke was just indulging him.

"I'm sorry," Rolus said, trying to keep eye contact with Luke.

Luke raised a brow, the anger brewing. "You're now sorry? You let a year pass by without saying anything. You rejected me, and now you're sorry?"

Rolus looked uncomfortable. His hair was now messy, a stark difference from before he sat down. "I was not referring to that. I was referring to how everyone bombarded you with our ceremony. I'm sorry."

Luke didn't understand how Rolus could be so infuriating. He didn't think this was worse? It would have been better if he was apologizing for rejecting him or keeping him in the dark about how everyone didn't say anything about them being mates.

"If you want to know everything. I will tell you. I won't hide anything, I promise." Rolus seemed so earnest, so innocent and so, so frustrating and detestable.

Luke gripped the table edge, trying to get ahold of his influx of hateful emotions towards Rolus. He didn't remembering hating Rolus this much. "The sight of you, the smell of you. Just your presence, Rolus. It disgusts and infuriates me. I've never hated a person more than I fucking hate you." His voice was calm, with an underlying aggression.

Rolus blanched, hand over his chest. He looked in pain, but Luke couldn't offer anything as consolation.

It should have brought him joy to see Rolus unravel, but he couldn't bring himself to feel that. He gave Rolus a moment to compose himself. That's the least he could do.

When Rolus put himself together, his eyes were a bit red. Luke ignored that. "The thing that made you lose your memory, it also made you feel deep hate for me."

Luke knew that there was a possibility that the feelings were not his to begin with, but still, it felt like a punch. He didn't know himself anymore. What else has changed about him?

"I understand if this is too much for you. You believe me, right? I wouldn't lie about something like this. You believe me, right?" Rolus looked like his whole life depended on Luke's answer.

Luke believed Rolus. He believed him, and that was the worst. How could he believe a man that rejected him? How could he believe a man who let him live a year without saying anything that they were mates. Yes, he probably wouldn't have believed him, but it was still worth a try. Maybe they would have worked something out, and then wouldn't have spent a whole year apart.

What was he thinking?

"Will you explain everything to me then?" Luke hated himself for asking, but he didn't regret it. He was not getting any younger. As much as he's been obsessing over taking over Rolus' Pack and exerting revenge, he was tirelessly searching for his mate in between. Now that his mate was here, he wanted to focus on ignoring the burning hatred he felt for Rolus. His curiosity also played a factor.

"Yes, of course. Yes." Rolus nodded, relief blatant in his eyes. "When?"

"In two day's time."

Rolus seemed disappointed. Luke wanted time to himself and to digest the information. He also needed to have a talk with his Council seeing as clearly, they liked to keep secrets from him. Worst of all, Tamera had some ceremony with Rolus.

Luke stood up, ready to leave. Rolus didn't stand, and he didn't look to be leaving anytime soon.

"We will talk." Luke didn't wait for Rolus to reply. He turned around and headed out the door. He found Peter and Charlotte having a heated conversation. When they saw him, they straightened up and separated. Peter came to him whilst Charlotte proceeded inside.

"What was that about?" Peter was about to respond, but Luke interrupted. "Don't even think of lying to me."

Peter nodded, then said, "We were talking about why I didn't stop you from attacking their Pack."

Luke frowned, then crossed his arms. "Why didn't you?"

Peter looked at Luke in disbelief. "Seriously? We told you to not attack the Pack, but you did that anyway!"

"When?" He growled. He didn't appreciate the tone Peter took on with him.

"Before you started attacking. Then two months into your spree."

Luke was about to deny that, but stopped himself. To be honest, he didn't remember that. He didn't even remember the time he started attacking. Come to think of it, he didn't remember most of the events that happened six months ago.

Peter must have seen his distress because he put a hand on his shoulder, assuring him that everything was alright.

Luke didn't even know who he was anymore. As time goes on, will he forget more things?

He let Peter guide him to the car. Luke was out of it. He kept on thinking about his non-existent memories.

_________

It's been two days since Luke holed himself up in his room. When they came back from the Annual Pack Meeting, Luke went straight to his room and never came out.

His mind has been all over the place, and he couldn't stomach his Pack after they all withheld the truth from him. He didn't have a right to be mad or feel betrayed, but he did. He knew they all thought it best to not say anything when one morning he woke up and decided that attacking the other Pack was a good idea.

It was hard to ignore the betrayal he felt. His mind was a mess. He was trying so damn hard to remember anything, but his mind was not cooperating.

He never cried, but he was close to doing that. His couch was broken, and TV was on the floor. He was sure everyone heard him when he went rampant.

He never went into his bedroom. He slept on the carpet next to the ruined couch. He could have went for a run, but he didn't want to see anyone from his Pack. They all lied to him. They all betrayed him.

Maybe he and his mate would have worked things out. Maybe they would have reached an understanding, and spent time with each other. Now it's a year too late. It's three years too late. It's ten years too late! All because his Pack deemed it alright to withhold the truth from him. All because his mate rejected him!

Why did Rolus reject him in the first place? Was it because he was a man, an Alpha, a Clonmel or because Rolus just didn't want him? Was he not enough for Rolus?

Who was Rolus to decided that Luke was not enough for him? The Moon Goddess chose him as a mate! He was perfect for Rolus! What did Rolus want in a mate that Luke didn't have?

Did he want an Omega? A woman? A mate who was not a Clonmel? Did he want a normal mate that could feel the mate bond?

How could Rolus give up his mate just because Luke couldn't feel the mate bond?

How could Rolus reject him? How dare he?

Luke didn't have the strength to turn the rooms upside down. He didn't have the strength to even get up from the floor. That may be due to the fact that he hasn't eaten in two days, but he didn't have an appetite. He was grieving. He was wallowing.

How could Rolus give up a mate? He was perfect for Rolus even when he couldn't feel the mate bond. There was a reason why they were mates.

What did Rolus want? A mate that could feel the bond?

The more Luke thought about how his condition influenced Rolus' decision to reject him was driving him insane. It made him want to shake Rolus to the bones and ask if he wasn't enough for him just because of his condition. He wanted to exert a different kind of revenge. He wanted Rolus to hurt, to question his worth, or see how much he's hurt Luke.

He didn't care that somehow they fixed things and were mated. It didn't matter. The bad would always outweigh the good. Now he's got Luke out here questioning his worth.

Luke knew his worth. He never ever had to question it. He was insecure about his condition, yes, but it never made him reduce his worth. He always knew somehow that his condition would discourage his mate, but to see it happening was heart breaking.

Peter was mostly the one knocking on his door and enquiring if he needed anything. Luke never replied.

He was no longer mad at his Pack because it was not really their responsibility to inform him of his mate. It was Rolus' responsibility.

So when Rolus' scent hit him, his anger and betrayal skyrocketed.

The knock found Luke already at the door, unlocking it. He needed answers. He needed them to stay sane. Maybe Rolus had a good explanation on why he rejected him in the first place. Maybe he knew what caused him to lose his memories.

Most of all, he wanted to see Rolus. The knowledge that he was his mate brought a flicker of comfort than he'd like to admit. And now that he knew that whatever made him lose his memories made him detest his mate's presence, Luke was able to fight through the hatred to at least stomach the presence of Rolus.

Imagine his surprise when he first opened the door, Rolus forcing a smile, and arms spread wide... for a hug.

Luke stood there, staring at Rolus, unimpressed.

Rolus came in when Luke turned around. Rolus lingered in the ruined sitting room when Luke went into his bedroom. He changed his clothes to be presentable. They were not having their conversation in his bedroom. The only privacy they will get is in his office.

When Luke got out of his room, he found Rolus looking around, a sombre expression on his face.

Luke stared at Rolus, trying to find anything about him that would stand out or make him attracted. Rolus was an attractive man, but Luke didn't see himself attracted to him. Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Was I in love with you?"

Rolus turned around with the saddest smile Luke has ever seen. "I don't know."

The raw honesty in Rolus' words had Luke stagger. "Excuse me?"

"I don't think you were in love with me. You were in love with the idea that you have found your mate," Rolus said, the smile no longer there.

"And why do you say that?" Luke was offended.

Rolus shrugged, looking away. "It's something I had to think about. A year is a long time to evaluate and question things, you know."

Something heavy lodged itself in Luke's chest. He didn't want to argue over something he didn't know. But Rolus' admission had him feeling strange.

______
(A/N) Soooo, I've been invited to the creators program and I accepted. I've started a new story for the program. Go check it out. It's on my profile and it's titled 'His Heart for Collection'.