Author's Note: You can say a lot of things about me, but you can't say that I'm not dedicated; it's literally 12 a.m. and I'm sitting in a McDonald's parking lot stealing their free Wi-Fi to post this lol @ how pathetic and sad my life is

Chapter 33 | Who'd Want To Read About Us Anyway?

"When you fall in love it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part." - Captain Corelli's Mandolin

"Do you wanna go shopping?" Aspen randomly asks me.

"No, I don't want to go shopping," I reject with a sigh.

"Why not?" She queries, raising her eyebrows in question. "It'll make you feel better."

"No, it won't because a.) I don't like shopping and b.) I don't need cheering up," I say.

"So, you're saying you're not still sad about Graham?"

"I'm not still sad about Graham - I am perfectly fine."

"Yeah, I'll believe that when you stop crying yourself to sleep at night," Aspen mumbles.

"I told you that I was crying because my ankle was hurting, not because I was thinking about Graham," I reiterate.

"Okay, Sawyer, whatever you say," She replies, but I can tell she doesn't believe me, which makes sense since I'm clearly lying.

Today is Saturday, March 8th, our last day in Cape Cod, which is kind of sad, but also a huge relief, because I am so ready to leave. Not even to go back home, but just to be away from this stupid little touristic town. This has been the Spring Break from Hell and even though it ending means that I have to go back to school, I couldn't be happier that it's just about over. Being back in school these next few months will give me a lot to focus my attention on and that's what I need at this point.

Currently, Aspen and I are in the backyard of the vacation home in the Jacuzzi. I'd planned on spending a lot more time in here over the course of the week, but everything went south and it just never happened. I refused to leave this house without getting in here at least once though, so here we are. It's kind awkward, because my ankle is throbbing (it has been pretty consistently since I stomped out of my room the day Graham and I had that argument a couple of days ago), but that's okay.

"So, are you guys actually broken up now?" Aspen wonders after a couple of seconds of silence.

"I think so," I confirm with a nod and a shrug. "I mean, he's not talking to me, so I guess so."

"Didn't you tell him not to talk to you though?" She asks with a chuckle.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think he'd actually literally stop speaking to me."

"No offense, but you're kind of not good with the relationship thing," She laughs.

"No offense, but you're kind of the worst friend ever and I don't like you," I say.

"You will forever love me though, so that's okay," She chirps.

"Yeah, whatever you need to believe to get through the day."

It's been three days since my argument with Graham and when I say that he's not said a single word to me, I mean he's not said a single word to me. Like, I'm not even exaggerating. I'm not quite sure if he's doing it just because I told him not to talk to me anymore or if it's just because he's pissed. The former is more likely, but the latter would also be understandable.

I realized after our argument that I am pretty much the most impulsive person I know and that when I'm angry, I do and say things that I probably shouldn't - like kicking a punching bag or calling the boy I love an egomaniacal jerk face jackass. I don't really remember the argument that clearly, for some odd reason, but I think that I also made some kind of remark about him getting everything he's always wanted in life (which, obviously, isn't true, considering the fact that he grew up with an alcoholic and abusive father and the fact that his mother kind of abandoned him).

And I think I also said something about how he gets around a lot or something, which I know isn't true, but that was one of the rumors I heard about him way back before I even knew him. I know it was stupid to say and I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet, so if Graham isn't talking to me because he's angry and not because I told him not to, then I completely understand why and I really can't be mad about it.

At the same time though, I'm still pretty mad at him, which, I think, is understandable. I mean, I think any rational teenage girl would be mad if she saw her boyfriend (who she happens to be madly in love with) kissing another girl (who happens to be his psychotic ex-girlfriend), right? Sure, he had an explanation, but it was crappy one and even though I want nothing more than to tell him that I forgive him and for him to hug me and kiss me and tell me that he loves me, it's not that simple.

Also, there's the fact that he knows I went through his phone and he said that I have trust issues and am "unbelievably insecure" which is true, but when you consider everything I've been through, how could I not have trust issues and be insecure?

"You're mean when you're sad," Aspen informs me, reaching over to the table that sits adjacent to the hot tub, picking up her phone and glancing down at it. "Oh, Beckett texted me. He wants to go to the Rail Trail," She tells me. "Wanna come?"

"No, I think I'll stay and cry for a while," I sigh, sinking down in the hot tub so that the water comes up past my shoulders.

"Oh my God, Sawyer, just talk to the boy," Aspen suggests, getting out of the hot tub and wrapping a towel around her body.

"What am I supposed to say though?" I ask, completely serious. "Should I just apologize or something?"

"You should do whatever is right for you," She tells me, pushing her designer sunglasses up to her hairline. "Before that though, what you need to do is figure out what you want. In the past three days, I've listened to you say about 1200 times that you love Graham and you miss him and you want everything to be okay between you guys again and another 1200 times I've heard you cry about how mean he is and say that you don't want to fix it. So, don't go to him without knowing what you want because all you're going to end up doing is confusing the poor idiot boy and making things even worse than they already are, if that's even possible. So, while I'm gone, you think about it. Think about whether or not you think you and Graham can move past this (personally, I know you can, but I'm pretty biased since Grawyer is my baby, but whatever). You say you don't want to move past it, but then you say that you do, so clearly you're confused. So just think about it. And after you've thought long and hard about it, go and tell Graham what you decide. And it's totally your choice, obviously, but if my ship sinks, I'm going to be really sad and depressed."

"Remember a few minutes ago when I said that you're the worst best friend ever and I don't like you?"

"Considering the fact that it happened just about two minutes ago, yes, I do remember," Aspen laughs.

"Okay, well, I take that back; you're a pretty okay friend and I like you maybe like 75% of the time."

"I think that might be the sweetest thing you've said to me in all the years we've been friends," She says, putting her hand over her heart with a smile. Obviously, that's not true - I'm the sweetest friend ever, Aspen is just unnecessarily dramatic. "Anyways, I'm gonna go and get dressed and then wait for Beckett to come and pick me up. Good luck with your love woes."

I tell her to have fun at the Rail Trail thing (which seems impossible because nothing about riding bicycles is fun) and then she leaves and I'm alone with my thoughts. I start to think then, all the way back to October when I first met Graham. I didn't really like him at all, but that's not surprising - I didn't (and still don't, for the most part) like any members of the male species, aside from a select few. I sit there in the Jacuzzi, letting everything we have been through replay in my mind.

His Halloween Party when I first realized that he wasn't a carbon copy of Flynn. Thanksgiving when I was in Worcester and he was in Andover and we stayed up really late on the phone talking about everything and nothing. Winter Formal when we danced to Kiss Me Slowly. Christmas when he got me the Sennelier l'Aquarelle French Artists' Watercolor Set and the Raphaël Kolinsky Brushes and the elephant necklace and when I had a breakdown in the bathroom and Graham told me he'd never let Flynn hurt me again when he showed up on my porch. When we had our first kiss when I was in the psych ward. Our first date when we went to Alessandra's. His New Year's Eve Party when I told him about my past. When he asked me to be his girlfriend. When we spent the night together after his birthday party. Our make-up Valentine's Day last month. Everything.

I decide then that I do want to work it out. I know I told Dr. Fontana and my mom and Aspen and Sienna and Graham himself that I don't want to work it out, but I do. Graham and I have been through way too much in the past few months for me to let some gross antelope come between us. That doesn't mean I just magically forgive him, but I'd like to be able to forgive him.

I want to be able to trust him again and I want him to trust me again (because I'm sure he doesn't anymore, now that he somehow knows that I went through his phone). I want us to go back to being the perfect couple again and I want him to love me again and that's what I'm going to tell him. I know this epiphany is three days late, but better late than never, right?

I stand up in the Jacuzzi then and get out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me before getting my phone off of the table and going inside of the house. I'm about to head to the room that Graham and I were sharing, but as I'm making my way out of the living room, there's a faint knock on the door. With a sigh, I turn on my heels and walk to it, pulling it open.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demand, crossing my arms across my chest when I see the Proboscis monkey herself standing there. And if you don't know what a Proboscis monkey is, it's pretty much the grossest, most disgusting animal ever.

"Where's Graham?" Carson asks and she looks kind of scared, like she thinks I'm going to hit her again, which, even though I really want to, I'm not going to. I'm lucky she didn't press charges the first time; I don't want to continue pushing my luck.

"And how is that any of your business?" I wonder, already annoyed. "Do you even know what the term ex-girlfriend means?"

"Stephanie, I don't have time for your foolishness right now; I just need to see Graham, so please just tell me where he is."

"Graham doesn't want to see you, Carson," I sigh, rolling my eyes. She knows that isn't my name and I know that she knows that that isn't my name. I also know though that she only did that to get me angry, which is why I ignore it. "How many times do you need to hear that he hates you before you start to believe it?" I realize then the irony of that statement. Just a couple of days ago, I told Dr. Fontana that I think Graham still has feelings for Carson, but here I am telling Carson to her face that Graham hates her, which I know for a fact is true. Man, I'm stupid when I'm mad.

"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have kissed me if he hates me, but okay," Carson laughs.

"You really are deranged, aren't you?" I ask, mocking her stupid high-pitched laugh. I don't know for how long she and Graham dated, but the idea that they were together more than a couple of days is crazy, because I don't know how he could deal with her for any longer than that. "Maybe it's time to stop bleaching your hair so much - I think it's starting to affect what few brain cells you still have left in the big head of yours."

"Okay, if you're going to act like a child, that's fine, but I'm not going to entertain it," Carson replies with a hefty sigh. "Literally, all I want to do is say goodbye to Graham. I'm about to make the drive back to Andover to get the rest of my stuff and then I'm going to the airport to-" She starts to say, but I cut her off, because I don't have time for her nonsense.

"I'm not interested in the details of your life, Carson," I assure her. "Graham doesn't want to see you, he doesn't want to say goodbye to you. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy if your plane crashed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. That being said, you being here is really unnecessary, so please just go. I have to repair what you messed up, so I don't have time for this pettiness, so get off of my property before I call the police."

Okay, yes, I know that that was mean, but this girl, she just infuriates me. Like, she kisses my boyfriend, knowing that we're together, and then she shows up a couple of days later, asking him to see her off. She's insane, that's what she is, and I don't have the patience to deal with her insanity. Obviously I'm not going to call the police, but I am completely okay with making empty threats if it gets Carson away from me any quicker.

"You are a real bitch, Sawyer, you do know that, don't you?" She retorts.

"This coming from the girl who kissed my boyfriend," I scoff. An aching pain starts in my ankle then and that's when I decide that I'm done with this. From what I can tell, Carson is a pretty stubborn girl and I myself am pretty stubborn too, so this little pow-wow could actually go on all day. I have more important things to do though, like make my boyfriend love me again.

"You are so-"

"Have fun in California, Carson; I hope that you find yourself there and do some growing up and realize that you are not the center of the world. You're an insufferable girl, but that's some guys like that kind of thing, you know. So, I really do hope that you find someone who can put up with you and you realize that you can't force someone to like you. That being said, it has been an absolute displeasure knowing you and I sincerely hope that this is the last time I have to see your face," I tell her in the sweetest tone I can muster before closing the door and locking it and walking away.

The whole way down the hallway, I try to think up exactly what to say to Graham. Should I just walk in and tell him that I'm sorry? Or should I just ask him if we can talk? And what if he actually is mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me? Then what am I going to do? He said that he'd do anything to fix us, but what if he's changed his mind in the past three days? I mean, I definitely don't need Graham or anything, but I love him a lot and I really want him.

When I get to the end of the hallway and I'm standing in front of the bedroom door, I realize that I'm just going to have to wing it. That's okay though - I wing pretty much everything in my life. I take a deep breath, push the door open, and walk in.

When I walk in though and see that Graham is nowhere to be found, I awkwardly blow the breath out through my mouth. Ever since our argument, he's hardly come out of this room, so I have no idea where he is. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him all day, which is strange, because even though we haven't been talking, I've still seen him the past few days.

The last time I saw him was last night - I was in the living room crying like the colossal baby I am and I saw him going into the kitchen to get some water. I saw him too late though and couldn't really hide, so he saw me and he came in the living room and asked me if I was alright and all I did was nod. He sat there next to me on the couch for a minute and I think that he expected me to say something else, but I didn't, and after about ten minutes, once I'd stopped crying, he walked out.

I look around the room then and realize what else is missing - all of his stuff. His suitcases, his duffel bags, everything. The only stuff in the room now is what I left in here when I moved across the hall into Aspen and Beckett's room. It's been incredibly awkward, staying with them, but it was either with them or Sienna and Vince and I don't really know Vince well enough to sleep in the same bed with him, so that was a no. But Aspen sleeps in the middle, so that makes it a little better.

I walk across the room and plop down on the bed, unlocking my phone and going to Graham's number. There's a good chance he won't take my call, but there's a small chance he will, so I press down on his name and put the phone to my ear, waiting.

"Hello?" He answers on the fifth ring, just when I was preparing to leave a voicemail.

"Um, hey Graham," I awkwardly reply.

"Hey," Graham greets and I notice that his tone doesn't sound angry, so that's good.

"Um, are you alright?" I ask curiously.

"I'm okay," He assures me. "Why? Did something happen? Are you okay?" He queries.

"Not really, no," I admit with a sigh. "I, um, I just wanted to talk, if that's alright."

"Yeah, of course that's alright," Graham tells me. "Did you mean right this second?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could talk in person," I explain. "Where are you at?"

"I'm at home," He informs me. "Tucker had to go on a business trip to D.C. and he didn't want Cass to be with just Jackson since he's all injured and she's all pregnant and whatnot. I mean, my mom's home, but he asked me to come," Graham explains.

"Well, how come you didn't at least tell me that you were leaving?" I ask. Granted, I didn't tell him where I was going when I disappeared and spent the night with his best friend, but that's different, I think.

"You told me not to talk to you," Graham reminds me with a small, humorless laugh.

"Yeah," I awkwardly murmur, echoing his laugh. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay," He assures me. "I mean, you have a right to be upset."

"Yeah, but so do you," I defend him.

"Ahh, no, not really," Graham denies.

"Well, is it okay if I just come over to your house when I get back to Andover?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay," I gulp. "Beckett's car is big enough for the four of them, so I'll just leave now."

"Okay, I'll be here."

"Right," I reply, coughing awkwardly. I wonder if I'm the only one who's uncomfortable right now. "Well, I'll see you soon then."

"Alright, see you then."

"Okay, um...I love you," I say after having a small debate with myself about whether or not I should say it.

"I love you too, Sawyer," He replies after a second and then hangs up and I let out a sigh of relief, falling back onto the bed.

I lie there for a few minutes and then it dawns on me that it's 2 o'clock right now. It takes about two hours to get back to Andover, so if I want to beat traffic (which I do), then I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Also, getting back before Aspen and Beckett come back from their Rail Trail thing would also be nice so I don't have to hear all of his nagging.

So I get up from the bed and walk out of the room, going across the hall to Aspen and Beckett's room. I go over to my suitcase and take out the first pair of clothes my fingers grab, sweatpants and a t-shirt, and some underwear. I get dressed and slip on a pair of Toms before grabbing my car keys and slipping them down in the pocket of the sweats. Then I start moving around the room, at what I would imagine has to be record breaking speed for me, packing my stuff up. I like to think that I travel lightly, so it only takes me about fifteen minutes to get my stuff together and packed into the back of my car.

After locking the vacation home, I get in my car and send a quick text to Aspen, telling her that I'm going back home to talk to Graham and that I'll see her back at the house. I send one to Sienna saying the same thing, only without the 'see you back at the house' part. She and Vince, by the way, are down at Provincetown Harbor to go on another whale watching excursion with Dolphin Fleet. This is her third time since we've been in Cape Cod that she's gone whale watching, which is kind of weird (and expensive), I think, but Sienna is weird and rich, so it's okay.

Speaking of Sienna, just a couple of seconds after I text her, I get a response that says: Oh yay! Have fun with your mind-blowing make-up sex (; (which you will tell me about when I see you tomorrow).

I laugh at that - leave it to Sienna to make me laugh when everything is so awful. I put my phone down and then take a deep breath. Then I buckle my seatbelt and start my car, pulling away from the beach house and speeding towards the highway.

✿✿✿✿✿✿

Nearly two hours later, it's just after 4 o'clock and I'm parking in front of Graham's house. I suddenly feel very nervous and I for a split second, I consider starting my car up and just going to my house. I mean, my mom's not there, so no one would know really. I talk myself out of that though and just take a few deep breaths and then I'm okay. Well, for the most part.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and grab the keys from the ignition before getting out of my car and heading up to the front door. When I reach it, I tentatively push down on the doorbell and then pull my hand back, waiting anxiously. Thankfully, Graham isn't the one who opens the door - like, I want to see him, but it'd make me even more nervous if he'd opened the door - but it's Cassidy, who is now sporting a small, but there nonetheless baby bump.

She's got to be midway through the second trimester now and I'd expect her to look like she's been hit by a truck at all hours of the day, but she still looks perfectly perfect and I'm kind of jealous.

"Sawyer!" She yelps, grabbing my arm and literally pulling me in the house and hugging me, like we're old friends or something.

"Hi Cassidy," I smile, returning her hug. "How are you?" I ask, just to be polite.

"I'm good! Actually, I'm wonderful. Tucker and I finally chose a name, so that's exciting. We decided on Natalie Grace. That's cute, isn't it? I think that it's pretty adorable," She tells me. Man, I thought not-pregnant Cassidy was a ball of sunshine, but she has absolutely nothing on pregnant Cassidy; she's just so peppy and happy.

"It's adorable," I tell her. "I thought that Tucker didn't like celestial names though."

"He doesn't, but I wasn't too crazy about 'Natalie' as a first name, but he was, so we decided to compromise - like, if I let us give her the first name 'Natalie', then he'd get over his thing about celestial names and her middle name could be 'Grace'."

"Well, that's good, that you guys came up with a name," I say, clearing my throat. "So, do you know the due date yet?" I ask.

"The OB says around like August 8th-ish, so that's really, really exciting, but also really, really frightening because it's kind of super close when I think about it and we don't have any yet. Like, we have so much stuff we have to do and get. We need to get a crib and a stroller and a car seat and bottles and diapers and blankies and pacifiers and little pink hair bows and a mobile for the crib and we need to paint the nursery pink and we need to decorate it and we need to buy clothes-"

"I think she gets it, Cassidy," I hear Graham's voice and then I turn around and see him entering the room from the stairs.

"I'm just saying," Cassidy replies, holding her hands up in surrender. "Like, I'm so ready to have a baby, but it's so stressful."

"I'm sure you and Tucker are just overthinking it, just like you overthink everything else," Graham says to his sister-in-law.

"Yeah, well, you're a teenager; you would think that," Cassidy states before plopping down on the couch and putting her feet up on the ottoman in front of her before grabbing a Vogue magazine and thumbing through it. "In a few years though, when you and Sawyer are having your first child, you'll understand all of my pain and sorrow and all of my happiness and everything."

"You literally have no boundaries at all, do you?" Graham asks Cassidy, to which she replies with a small shake of the head. "Anyway, Sawyer and I will be in my room - don't bother us," He adds before leading me out of the room, upstairs to his room.

It's kind of awkward on the way up there, because neither of us say anything. Also, it's awkward because climbing stairs with a bum ankle isn't easy or fun at all. It literally feels like my entire foot is about to fall off of my leg. I really should go and have it re-examine, because I'm about 98.9% I reinjured it when I was being dramatic and stomping around and stuff.

Thankfully though, I make it to the top of the stairs without my foot falling off, so that's nice. When we get to Graham's bedroom, he lets me go in first and then he shuts the door closed behind us. He always over to his bed then and sits down, patting a spot next to him for me to sit down in, which I hesitantly do.

"So, hey," Graham greets.

"Hi," I awkwardly respond.

"So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, um, I guess I kinda of had an epiphany a couple of hours ago," I say.

"Okay, that's good, I think. I wanted to talk too, but I guess I was just waiting for you to say I could talk to you again."

I chuckle at that because it's kind of funny - the fact that he actually wasn't going to talk to me until I told him that he could. He's just so cute and obedient - kind of like a puppy, but not really. Then I realize that I didn't even think about what I was going to say to him before I got here. God, I'm so dumb. I literally was driving on the highway for two hours - I could have drafted up an entire script for myself in that time. I am actually stupid.

"Okay, I'm just gonna wing it," I mumble, averting my glance from Graham and down at his carpeted floor. "So, I basically just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. When I walked in saw you kissing that naked mole rat, I just got really, really, really upset. Like, you know me - I'm a pessimist; I say all the time that I'm just a realist, but let's just be real, I'm a pessimist. So, when I saw you two, I kind of just jumped to conclusions and I realize now that that probably wasn't the greatest thing to do. So I'm sorry for doing that. And I'm sorry for running away like a child and worrying you and everyone else. And you asked where I'd been at and I guess since we're getting everything off of our chests, I should just tell you that I stayed with Halden-"

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, a look of confusion comes over Graham's face and I can tell that he's trying to make sense of what I just told him. "I don't think I understand. What do you mean you stayed with Halden?" Graham asks.

"Well, I ran into him and he's the one that took me to the hospital after I sprained my ankle and when it was time for me to leave, I knew that I wasn't ready to be back in the house, so I asked him if I could stay the night with him. He's staying with an uncle who owns a fitness center about like ten or so miles from where we were staying. Anyway, so he said that I could and so I did. But like, nothing happened. I slept in a room on the other side of the house and we hardly even saw each other because I just cried a lot."

I pause then, to gauge his reaction and I notice that he's still cool, calm, and collected. I mean, he does look confused still, but I don't know what he could be confused about when I just explained. He beckons for me to continue after a second, so I clear my throat and do just that.

"So, yeah, I'm sorry for that. I'm also sorry for being the biggest bitch in the world to you when I came back the next day. I guess I just had this like, preconceived idea of what happened in my head and because of that, I wasn't willing to listen to what you were telling me actually happened. And I'm sorry for being mean to you and yelling at you and calling you an egomaniacal, jerk face jackass. And I'm sorry for undermining your familial stuff and saying that you've gotten everything you've ever wanted. And I'm sorry for indirectly calling you a man whore and a directly calling you a bitch."

"You didn't call me a bitch though, I don't think," Graham responds with a small, goofy-looking grin.

"I did," I assure him. "A lot actually, but it was all in my head," I explain. He nods in understanding then and I continue on with my little pathetic apology. "And most of all, I'm really, really, really sorry for saying that our relationship was a mistake, because obviously it never was and never will be a mistake. Pretty much the top three things on my imaginary list of "Greatest Life Moments" have been with you and that sounds kind of weird, I know, but it's true. And I'm sorry for going through your phone and lying about Carson staying next door. And I'm really, really, really super sorry about it every dumb thing I've done."

"So, you're saying that you do want to fix us and you don't want to break up, right?" He asks, I guess, just for clarification.

"I do want to fix us and I don't want to break up. I don't even know if we actually even broken up, but if we did, that makes me really sad because I really like being your girlfriend. And I really like being your girlfriend not only because you're a good kisser, but also because you bring me food and tell me you love me and it's so nice and I don't want that to go away."

I wait for a second and then I look up at him, wondering why he hasn't said anything in response. He's knows I'm bad at this stuff and him creating awkward silences is only going to make this situation even more uncomfortable for the two of us.

"Stop laughing at me!" I exclaim, slapping his shoulder - obviously it doesn't hurt him though.

"I'm not laughing at you," Graham assures me, wiping away his grin. "You're just so cute."

"I'm sitting here trying to give you a heartfelt apology and you're laughing; you're so rude," I sigh, kidding for them most part.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry," He replies, reaching down and grabbing my hand, interlacing our fingers and putting our entwined hands down on his knee. "Okay, so it's my turn. I'm sorry about this entire thing. I know it's all my fault and I take full responsibility for it. At the time though, I really did think I was making a good decision, but now I see how dumb it actually was of me to kiss her just because she asked me to. And, you know, I feel really bad, because I told you that that's why Carson and I ended things - because she cheated on me and I realize that for me to do the same thing was incredibly hypocritical and I feel like a real dumbass. And so for that whole situation, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for getting mad at you when you wouldn't listen - because I know that if our roles were reversed, which they never would be, because you're a much better girlfriend than I am boyfriend, I'd be really pissed off and I wouldn't listen either. And I'm sorry for taking the whole thing so lightly and thinking that just telling you what all happened was going to make it okay. And I'm sorry for shouting at you and calling you insecure and saying you have trust issues and all that stuff," He tells me, still holding my hand loosely.

"That's the thing though, you know," I quietly reply, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I do have trust issues and I am insecure. And those are my fatal flaws, I guess. And you say the whole thing is your fault, but it wasn't really. Because if I hadn't let my emotions get the best of me, I wouldn't have even looked through your phone in the first place and if I hadn't seen all of those texts and stuff from Carson, I wouldn't have felt so threatened when I found out she was next door to us. And if I hadn't felt so threatened, I would have told you and this entire debacle could have been avoided," I explain, feeling all guilty.

And suddenly I get all teary-eyed and before I can stop the tears, they spill over and then I'm crying just like I always am.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, don't cry," Graham says once he realizes. "We both did stupid stuff, you know, so it's both of our faults, really. I did, like, 99% of the stupid stuff though and you only did like, 1% and even that's justifiable. We're gonna be okay. And, just for the record, I really like being your boyfriend too," He tells me, mimicking my words from earlier. "You're really good at kissing (and other stuff), and even though you never bring me food, you do tell me you love me and you do make me smile every single day and that's so nice and I don't want that to go away."

"So, you still love me?" I ask, blinking back tears. "Even though I was being a brat?"

"If you can still love me even though I kissed my psychotic ex, I can still love you for being a little bit of a brat," He laughs.

"So, that's a yes, right?" I sniffle.

"Yeah, babe, that's a yes. I still love you and it's going to take a lot more than a little fight to make me stop loving you."

"Okay, good and also, same," I reply, using my hand to wipe my tears. "So, can we go back to being the happy couple now?"

"I'd like nothing more than to go back to being the happy couple," Graham says, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "So, can I kiss you now? Because I haven't kissed you in like four days and I really want to right now."

"You can, but you have to do something else first," I say, getting out of his hold and standing up.

"Are we going somewhere?" He asks, glancing up at me with a confused look on his face.

"We are," I nod, pulling on his arm and urging for him to stand up too. "Come on, get up," I urge.

"Where are we going?" Graham wonders, standing up and following me out of his bedroom.

"You'll see," I say in a singsong voice, thankful that my tears decided to stop coming out.

I lead Graham to the bathroom upstairs and push the door open, walking in and pulling him in with me.

"I really confused right now," He informs me matter-of-factly.

"Which one of these toothbrushes are yours?" I wonder, seeing that there are four in the little holder.

"The blue one is, but I still don't understand what's going on."

"Stop being so question-y; you'll understand in a matter of minutes," I tell him, grabbing the toothbrush.

I take the cover off and grab the toothpaste, uncapping it and squeezing some out onto the brush. Then I hand it to Graham.

"Are you trying to say my breath stinks or something?" He wonders.

"No, I'm trying to say that until you brush my mouth and lips clean of all of those gross Carson germs, you can't kiss me."

"I've brushed my teeth since that happened; that was like four days ago, but okay, if this is what I have to do to kiss you."

"It is," I chirp. "I'll stand outside because watching other people brush their teeth is gross," I say before walking past him.

"You're a little bit weird, Sawyer Jameson, you know that, don't you?" He asks after I close the door between us.

"So I've been told," I giggle. "Seriously, get to brushing; you're not the only one who misses getting kissed," I state.

He chuckles and then I hear the faucet running, so I guess he's brushing his teeth. It goes on for two minutes and then the water turns off and a few seconds later, the door swings open and Graham is standing there, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Any other weird things you need me to do?" He asks as we head back towards his room.

"Nope," I reply, shaking my head. "Just so you know though, if you ever do what you did ever again, I'm literally going to burn your lips off of your face," I warn him as we walk back into his bedroom and I close the door behind us, since I'm last in.

"Well, I don't think we have to worry about that, because you're the only girl I want to kiss."

"Well, that's a relief, because you're the only boy I want to kiss," I say, plopping down on his bed. "You're not totally off the hook though," I tell him, just so that we can be clear on where we stand. "Obviously we both are going to have to work at getting the other's complete trust back; I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

"We are most definitely on the same page," Graham assures me with a nod.

"Good," I chirp.

"Good," He mocks with a grin. "You know, we're kind of like something out of a bad romance novel," Graham randomly says.

"Well, not a bad romance novel - more like a mediocre romance novel," I correct him. "Who'd want to read about us anyway?"

"A lot of people, I bet," He replies. "We're really interesting people."

"We're not interesting," I deny with a small laugh, shaking my head.

"We're pretty adorable though," Graham defends.

"This is very true," I giggle, before leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. "I love you so, so, so much, Graham."

"I love you so, so, so much too, Sawyer," Graham mumbles against my lips and then he doesn't say anything else and neither do I because I'm tired of talking - I just want to kiss (and maybe do other stuff too).

I think that it goes without saying what we both want to happen next and we waste no time working our way to that point. After just a few seconds, our cute little chaste kiss develops into a pretty hot and heavy one and the next thing I know, Graham is hovering over me and his shirt is gone and his pants are gone (he's still got on his boxers though, obviously), and my shirt and shoes are off.

"You know," Graham randomly says, breaking our incredible kiss. "My mom and Jackson are in her room watching Aladdin or Mulan or something because they're weird like that and Cass is probably in her and Tucker's room marveling over their baby registry or something crazy like that, but I can probably get them out of the house for a couple of hours," He says suggestively.

"Yeah, that's probably a really good idea," I tell him.

"Yeah?" He asks, as if he actually thought I was going to turn him down.

"Yeah," I confirm with a nod, unwrapping my arms from his neck. "If any of the three of them were to walk in on what's about to happen, I think I'd have a literal heart attack triggered by nothing more than embarrassment," I tell him. "So, go, get rid of them - hurry up." I mean, I love his family, but I'm not having sex with him if they're in the house. That's so weird.

"I'll be back in two seconds," Graham eagerly assures me, hopping up off of me and practically sprinting out of the bedroom.

Author's Note:

1. OMG is this real life? Am I actually posting a chapter after only NINE DAYS? WHAT? Really though, someone commented on the last chapter and was like, "it's gonna be like three months before the next update :/" and I was like, "okay no," and then I was on a mission to finish this chapter like ASAP and yeah.

2. So, thoughts? This chapter was actually meant to end in a totally different way - like Sawyer and Graham were going to talk and everything, but end up fighting even more and it was going to be really sad, but idk. I know a lot of you Team Sawyer people are gonna probably think she forgave him too quickly but that's okay because I think that it makes a lot of you Team Graham people happy.

3. Anyways, two chapters left! Predictions? I think that the next one will surprise a lot of you (but I'm sure I'll still get a lot of "called it!" comments lol). Hint: You're gonna (figuratively) see a bunch of familiar faces.

4. Song: Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

5. This chapter is dedicated to @unhealthily because she left a really amazing comment last chapter and it was just really sweet and I loved it a whole lot, so yeah

6. Totally off topic, but I, as some of you already know, am addicted to Grey's Anatomy and like tonight's episode shredded my heart to pieces? Like, who else watched it? Because my best friend and I watched it and literally after it went off, we sat there in silence and just cried because omg it was just so sad like holy crap. And I'm really sad right now, which is part of the reason I'm posting this rn lol because I'm hoping I'll get happy comments that'll cheer me up. If you are looking for a show though and you have Netflix, I'd definitely recommend watching Grey's - your life will be forever changed, this is a literal fact. Just in case you're in need of an amazing show to binge-watch (: