ミ☆ chapter thirty nine
right in front of you

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"I can't believe I'm doing this," Simone cursed herself aloud. "And I can't believe you guys aren't talking me out of this."

"I think Denise is right," Stella told the girl, a genuine look on her face. "We all remember that moment between you two during Qatar. It doesn't hurt to try."

"This does more harm than good," Simone continued, finding every reason possible to convince herself to turn around and just go to a mall. It would be easier than spending her last day in Germany comforting her ex-boyfriend.

"Just don't kiss him," Jorja joked, getting sent a glare in the process. "I'm serious."

Stella rolled her eyes at Jorja's jest, but a smile was still bright on her face. "Jude is under the impression that you're actively avoiding him because of Trent's big mouth. Seeing you would lift his spirits."

"You guys are like the devil on my shoulder," Simone grumbled as she pulled onto the side of the Bellingham residence. "Are you coming inside? Denise would appreciate the company."

"It's hot as hell. Of course we're coming inside."

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Denise looked ecstatic that Simone had decided to make an appearance. She was quick to tell Simone where Jude's room was, unable to hide the happiness she felt knowing her words had actually gotten through to her.

As Simone made her way upstairs, she began to panic internally, wondering what the hell she could possibly say to Jude to make him feel better. And what if Jude told her to go away and Denise was wrong? Harsh realities started to weigh heavily on her chest as she knocked on the door to his room.

It made her want to scream and leap out of the nearest window.

"I'm not hungry right now, mum," Jude said through the door. All Simone did was knock again, though she could've just told him that it wasn't his mom at the door. "Mum?"

She knocked a third time before getting in her own head again. Jude sounded tired, what if he was on the verge of falling asleep and she had just ruined that? Or what if he was on edge and was going to blow up at the next person he saw? Or maybe he genuinely wanted to be alone and he would see Simone as someone who was intruding.

Her inner turmoil drowned out the sound of the doorknob turning and the door swinging open, revealing a visibly exhausted Jude. "Simone?'"

Her mind finally grew quiet, upon meeting Jude's gaze. She felt calmer. "Hey. Did I wake you up?"

He shook his head. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk to you before we left Germany," Simone replied.

He couldn't hold back a scoff. "I thought you were avoiding me."

"I'm not that shitty of a person, Jude." Simone narrowed her eyes. "That game was a lot, and honestly, I'm surprised you're in the mood to talk to me right now."

He stayed silent for a bit. "Did you want to come in?"

"Yeah, sure," Simone accepted, walking past him and into his bedroom. She sat on the couch that was in the corner of his room, Jude doing the same thing seconds later.

"You don't always have to check up on me, you know," Jude told the girl, his tone gentle. "I'll be okay."

His words reminded her of the France game when she approached him to cheer him up. So, she said the same thing that she said then. "I know. But I also know how you always are with things like this, Jude. And I feel like you're trying to hide your emotions right now. I don't know why you think you can pretend with me, still."

Jude's silence prompted her to continue. "I know that you know that there's nothing you could've done, but I want to remind you of that. You've given everything this season, and yeah didn't work out, but Jude, you're nineteen. And with the talent you have, there's no way you're not gonna win a title. It's just a matter of time."

"I just think the worst part is I'm the fact that I'm leaving Dortmund this season," he confessed, making Simone's eyes switch from the ground to him within seconds.

"What? Are you even allowed to tell me that?"

"Probably not," he laughed slightly. "But I just wanted to give my last season here everything, and it was all for nothing in the end."

"You know that's not true," Simone nudged the boy. "Honestly, Jude. You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't let yourself leave Dortmund with bitter things like this. You've had an amazing season. I'm not going into detail about that, though. Your head is big enough as is."

Hearing Jude laugh just for a second made her smile.  She continued. "I feel like I've forgotten everything I was planning on saying. I swear my words were gonna be life-changing, but whatever. Just know I'm here for you, even if I've given you the impression otherwise. Your mom, too. I don't think you should be alone right now."

She rose from the couch, moving to stand in front of Jude. Simone held out a hand in front of Jude, inviting him to take it. He didn't, instead he stood up in front of her and enveloped her in a hug. It caught her off guard initially, but eventually she melted into it, hugging him back.

"Thank you," Jude sniffled from over her shoulder. It made Simone's eyes water. "I mean it."

"Anytime," she mumbled into his shirt. "And I'm sorry about Raji not being here. Your mom told me. Maybe she'll call you in a bit."

"It's alright, she's never here. But you always are. You've just...always been here," he said once he gathered himself.

Simone was the one to break off the hug, clearing her throat. She chose to act as if she didn't hear the last few words he said. "We should go downstairs. Your mom is probably wondering if you're alright now."

Jude nodded, making a beeline for the door. He held it open for Simone before following her downstairs.

When they did make it down, the three ladies who had been conversing began looking at the pair with a look that Simone wasn't sure she liked. She brushed it off, nonetheless.

"I've done it again," Simone started to joke, hoping to break the silence. "I deserve to be paid for my services."

Jude walked past her, mumbling as he did so. "We'll pay you in food."

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author's note!
THANK U GUYS FOR 100k WTF