tw: arguing, trauma, swearing, death, blood, angst

part of this chapter is inspired by the song evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn,, it's v good pls check it out...BEWARE: this chapter is heavy, read with caution, please feel free to stop at any time.

weeks went by and the war only got harder, schlatts drinking began to worsen, and y/n only got more reserved. schlatt would come home, stumbling, and hold y/n while she cried, until she fell asleep. he didn't know what to do, it's not like he could take her somewhere- there's a war. he hated himself, he hated everything but her, he just wanted to be with her. he hated how he had began to rely on the booze, he used to be able to manage it- to rely on y/n- maybe he pushed her too hard, and now she was finally caving in. he would double check the locks on the doors, at her request, make sure all the windows were closed- it was repetitive, but he didn't protest.

"remember...before all this...?" y/n mumbled, gazing at the balcony doors. schlatt sighed, rolling over in the bed they laid upon, and hugging her. "we were so...bright..." she frowned. schlatt furrowed his brows, then burying his face into her hair. where did it go wrong?

"i love you" he mumbled, his drunken stupor preventing him from thinking harder. "i love you" he said, quieter. y/n kept her gaze upon the balcony, just to think. "say it back" he whispered, she looked away from the doors,

"are you drunk again?" y/n mumbled, schlatt huffed.

"why do you care..." he whispered. she sat up, hovering over him.

"i care..." she frowned, "i don't like it when you drink so much..." she mumbled, hugging her knees.

"well i don't like it when you act so fucking depressed" he said, muffled by the pillow. she got off the bed, he sat up in response "y/n-"

"you don't get it..." she whispered, hugging herself again.

"i'm only trying to do what is best for us!" he raised his tone, rubbing his eyes.

"i never asked for this, schlatt..." she whimpered,

"for what!?"

"this life! this- this constant fear! and stress!" she felt the lump in her throat grow... the pressure pushing tears out of her eyes.

"you think you're stressed!? i'm the one who's running this fucking thing!" he spat, standing up from the bed.

"i never wanted this! i wanted kids! and peace! and you ruined it all!" she sobbed, schlatt frowned, pausing and taking a step forward. he gently squeezed her shoulder, giving her a loving look,

"i'm trying to make things better..." he mumbled. she paused, almost shocked.

"you don't get it!" she whimpered,

"then help me!" he shouted,

"just- just stop touching me!" she sobbed, pushing his arm off her. "you're always acting like someone else!" y/n cried, hugging herself again. schlatt scoffed, rubbing his eyes again in distress.

"you're scared-" he grumbled "you're only scared of what we could be!" he shouted.

"you never cared for me!" she cried, "you never thought about what this would do to me!" she whimpered. he pushed his hair back, a prominent vein growing on his forehead.

"you're being crazy!" he shouted

"you never listen!" she turned around, stepping on to the balcony,

"you're being stupid!" he followed her outside, the wind picking her hair up.

"i just want you here with me!" she cried, holding on to the railing,

"you act like i don't love you!" he spat in response.

"you act like you don't!" y/n sobbed, hot tears staining her cheeks. schlatt stopped, he hated that she thought that...he wished so badly that he was wrong when those words came out of his mouth- but when she replied- it only broke his heart. he gulped, letting his clenched fists rest, and tears fall from under his eyelids. the watercolors of their words bleeding onto their skin and painting on the love in between the two. schlatt opened his mouth to say something- but nothing could come out. and a moment remained, where they just gazed at eachother. then- like a craving, a shared thought, they hugged eachother, tightly. y/n clinging to him and crying into his shirt, the tears felt icy in the cold wind- sending shivers up their spine. the only warmth coming from eachother. schlatt sighed,

"i'm sorry..." he whispered, "for everything...i love you so much-y/n-" he sobbed, falling to his knees to hug her waist- and in what felt like a split second, love came back, the numbness pushed away, and y/n felt good again, safe again. the both of them never feeling as much love as they did right now- tears and love, all that remained.

"i love you schlatt-" - a swift noise jolted above him, and y/n flinched in his arms, muscles tensing, then relaxing, unnaturally-- schlatt looked up, horror pooling inside of him. blood stained y/n's chest, the spot growing bigger- in the middle, an arrow pierced cleanly through her heart. a shaky gasp left her mouth, squeezing on to schlatt, then releasing. a small whimper fell as she swiftly fell into his arms, now standing, holding her up as blood stained the both of them. tears and blood, all that remained. he choked on his words, looking down at her, limp and frail. he looked down at the gardens, four blurry figures standing below. technoblade, lowering his bow, wilbur, tommy, and tubbo- looking ever so shocked. roses dances around them, the wind making them sway beautifully.

"tsk-... i missed..." technoblade mumbled, placing an arrow in his bow again, and pointing it back up at schlatt. for a moment, schlatt could hear himself begging technoblade to kill him inside, silently pleading to end this misery, he was ready to go now.

"techno-" wilbur placed a hand on technos shoulder, and shaking his head. no- please kill me, schlatt thought. "she wasn't supposed to be in this..." wilbur shivered, schlatt felt his grip around y/n tighten, holding her up closer to him. please, technoblade. let me go with her.

"you killed...y/n!" tubbo cried, "you weren't supposed to-!"

"i missed" techno hissed, "fuck- i- i missed..." his hands tightened around the bow, then dropping it to the floor.

"c'mon..." wilbur mumbled, "this wasn't supposed to happen..." wilbur pushed techno and tommy forward, swiftly jumping the gates of the garden and running off. tubbo, behind them, a look of shock still spread across his face, tears? why was he crying? tubbo? tubbo come back..., schlatt thought. he looked down at y/n, his bottom lip slightly shaking, and he fell, back to his knees with y/n limp in his arms. he choked out sobs, hugging her close. he didn't mean all those words he had said, those hateful things, he didn't mean it...his angel, his angel.