Written : 23/01/29
Words : 1700
Ngl, this went a different direction I thought it would go so ig this was a test ? messy and weird
fem!reader

Oh you had the biggest crush on her. Across the school cafeteria, she sat with all her friends. The popular Yujin, the pretty Yujin, the flirty Yujin. Laughing with her friends, you felt jealous. She had friends, everyone liked her and she was beautiful. You envied every aspect of her. Meanwhile you.. Not only was it hard for you to keep your friendships, you couldn't talk with anyone unless they went to you first.

You sat at the corner table, staring at her as always, eating, daydreaming being together with her. You weren't exactly happy with the way you were living but that single person made you look forward to something you once hated. You bit into the spoon a little too hard without realising and as you winced in pain, you saw her looking at you. She winked at you, your heart skipped a beat and you smiled to yourself. She had always done this, but every time she did, you would feel that same warmth. Too bad she was known to do this to everyone. Sighing in sorrow you continued eating. Soon the day ended.

You went to bed, sad. Your breathing calming down after flopping onto the bed. You were staring at the roof.

"I know she does that to everyone but maybe, just maybe, it's different for me." You tried convincing yourself that she secretly had a crush on you even though she acted the same towards everyone.
You shifted your head around, looking for the plushy on your bed. Putting it on your chest, you hugged it tight and went on your phone.

Scrolling on social media, a video intrigued you. There was a video of a pretty girl, she made tutorials on makeup and self care related videos. What intrigued you the most is her pinned video. She was going to seriously confess to another girl she liked. It inspired you. And suddenly, you had great determination to become someone you could look up to.

The next weeks passed, you forgot about Yujin, the sadness and that feeling of inferiority. All you could think about is going home, working out, trying on new makeup and enjoying your time out.

You gained popularity. You didn't care. You had only thoughts about yourself and you sat in the same corner eating again. With the exception of people asking you to join them.

"Would i really be happy, eating lunch with them?"

"No."

This kept going on until Yujin herself asked to eat with you, but just herself and you, somewhere around the school. She looked at you with her pure eyes, holding her hand out, you couldn't miss this opportunity could you?

The temptation overtook you as you grabbed her hand firmly. You walked around the garden with Yujin. She was flirty as her usual personality was. Even though you didn't trust people, it felt genuine. It felt like she was a caring person and she wanted to be friends. You loved that you were alone with her, but you hated the reason why you were here. She wanted to be friends, but you loved her too much.

It dawned on you that there was always an empty feeling over you. You loved Yujin with all your heart but you knew you couldn't be with her. You felt lonely. You had things to talk about and someone there to listen but there was never a person close to you like that. You felt stupid as you didn't trust people to talk to them, yet you yearned for this simple thing.

The sunshine grew longer, a sign of winter leaving. As the days went by, your feelings towards Yujin became indescribable. You loved her and you couldn't be sure if she liked you back. You couldn't confess either, what if she became disgusted with you? Either way, Yujin couldn't leave your mind and it was depressing.
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On a warm April day, Yujin invited you to an evening picnic by the Han river. Following the descent of the sun, the skies grew orange. You were excited to say the least, you dressed up for it. You were too focused on looking your best, you forgot about checking the weather. The river breeze ran up your cardigan, it was april, how cold could it be right? Well, pretty damn cold as you shivered. You pulled the cardigan closer to yourself and hugged the bag you brang.

You couldn't believe the view though. The way the red reflected off the water and how clear it was. The grassy field contrasting with every colour. The trees and their branches regaining blooming flowers.

"This is beautiful."

The rocks crunched under your feet as you stepped. You kept walking through the path until you saw Yujin sitting on a checkered red and white blanket. Her body faced you while she stared at the river. Her face turned aside, showing off her jawline. She looked so damn cool in her sunglasses as she pulled her blonde hair back. Her gaze fell on you as she turned around. She smiled and waved at you, signalling you to come closer. You speed walked to her, your toes feeling the grass wrapping around your sandals. You sat down with an ungraceful thump causing you to frown. She giggled at you and grabbed a grap from a basket.

"Grape ?" She pointed at you with the grape. You nodded. You couldn't help but stare at her delicate hands as she reached for your mouth. Your lips opened on its own and Yujin fed you.

"It's good right? Best one I've tasted at the markets. Thought you would like them too."

"They're really good." You were surprised, the grapes she fed you were sweet but not overwhelming. They were definitely not sour.

"You picked a beautiful spot, Yujin. This is great, thank you for bringing me."

"Only the best for you." She was looking at the river before taking a peek at you.

"My mom showed me this spot years ago, apparently this is where my dad confessed to her."

"Oh, wow. Well I'm sure your mother couldn't have said no looking at this."

"I'm hoping for the exact same thing Y/n.." Yujin murmurred something you couldn't quite hear.

"Hmm? What did you say?"

"I said that we know how that went." She smiled, she kept smiling at you. There was something so bright about Yujin and her soft smile was at the center of it.

"I made sandwiches for us today. I tried really hard on these, hopefully you like them." She reached into the basket, grabbing a hefty sandwich. It was as colourful as the scenery. It was clear that Yujin had really put effort on today. Yujin was a popular girl, you knew this. She had featured in commercials you'd seen on tv. You always had an image of popular girls being a little much, but Yujin was far from that. You could tell her sincerity in every thing she did.

As you two enjoyed your food, the sun had fallen by then. You could really feel the cold coming. She stood up and went around you. She took off her jacket and put it on your shoulders.

"Looks good on you."

"T-Thanks." She smirked.

"I was going to offer you it earlier but you looked so good today."

"I'm glad it payed off then." You stared at her eyes as she stared back. You two didn't say a word after and continued enjoying each other presence. You two looked like a couple madly in love, well I guess it wasn't that far off.

The moonlight reflected on the dark river. Yujin packed everything into her basket getting ready to leave. She took one last thing, putting it behind her back.

"Y/n.." Her words trailed. "How would you feel if you were to be with me. Forever."

"I'd say we'd become good friends."

"No, not like that.."

"I don't think that could happen though. You would find yourself a boyfriend and live with him."

"No Y/n!" She screamed. You eyes widen in shock.

"Y/n-ah.. I have something to tell you." She called for your attention. "There's something so endearing about you that I couldn't put my hands on, I've pictured you with me so many times in my own bed. This feeling makes me want to be with you eternally. I've liked you for a while now, please go out with me !" She handed you a flower. She was always pressured by her parents to continue the company, she was always set up by her parents with other young and rich boys around her age. Not surprisingly, Yujin cried a lot in her room. She wanted a comfortable life, just with you.

"O-oh, I've liked you for a while too." Her face lit up.

"Really?" Her gummy teeth showing brightly as she smiled. She was overjoyed to say the least. "Great! So that means gi-"

"But, I'm sorry Yujin.."

"I've already decided to leave you soon." Yujin was a good person. Did you deserve someone like her? Maybe. You didn't feel like it though.

"W-what..? What are you saying.?" She stammered.

"It's not right for me to be with you. You're parents would hate you for this, the world would hate you for this. I couldn't bear living knowing that I couldn't be with you. I would regret it too much." You smiled bitterly.

"Are you dumb? You were going to die over me??" She screamed, tears fell down her cheeks. She stared at you, holding both of your shoulders firmly in her palms. She had the saddest expression you thought you could ever see on a face like Yujin's. She was concerned and cute. You giggled at her while she was finding her breath.

"I don't care about that y/n! I want to be with you! We can move somewhere else and,, and live together just the two of us. We don't have to care about these things. Please y/n-ah! Please.." She crumbled looking down, she was sobbing uncontrollably. Rolled up, she penguin stepped towards your legs and hugged them tightly.

"Y/n, I swear I'll make you the happiest girl in the world." You felt her airy voice, and guilt. You kneeled down to her.

"Fine, I guess I can't say no to that." You hugged her as she cried harder. You moved her bangs up and kissed her forehead lightly.

Originally a bad ending and I really didn't have a reason for this type of ending. I was in a bad spot when i wrote this so it might seem a little random. Anywho, thank you for reading and remember to stay healthy! <3