Lena has another one of her mute days. They've become rarer as Lena grows more comfortable with Kara. Not that she doesn't have bad days anymore but usually she doesn't shut Kara out completely, at least acknowledging her presence.

Kara should, thus, have been prepared for the worst when Lena needs her to dress her and doesn't utter a single word or give any sign of noticing Kara's presence. Kara should have been ready for the worst but she didn't realise until it has already happened. Not the absolute worst, granted, Lena could have done a lot worse still. But it's bad nonetheless.

Kara knocks on Lena's doors with her next dose of meds ready and pushes them open a few moments later, knowing Lena won't answer today yet still giving her the time to prepare for Kara entering. She's met with such a sad sight, it almost feels like her heart tears in two.

Lena is slumped over the edge of the couch, hand clutching the broken neck of a liquor bottle. A thin stream of blood seeps through her fingers and drips on the floor, mixing with the dark liquid once contained by the broken glass. The puddle is small for the size of the bottle and the glassy look in Lena's eyes gives away where the rest went. It takes a moment for Lena's eyes to settle and focus on Kara and when they do, tears nearly come spilling out again, trying to join their brethren in the by now dried tracks on Lena's cheeks.

"I'm sorry," the ravenette mumbles, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She drops the broken bottle and tries to sit up, rubbing the bloody hand in her eye, leaving read smears on her face.

Kara hurries over to her, keeps her from tipping off the couch when Lena threatens to over-balance.

"Hey, it's okay," Kara tells her as she carefully pries Lena's fist open to look at the damage. An ugly cut runs across her palm, the edged jagged an gaping and Kara knows she needs stitches for it.

"I'm really sorry," Lena hiccups, burrowing her face in Kara's shoulder. "It just hurt so so much."

"I know, I know you're hurting." Kara lifts Lena's face away from her body and looks in the eye. "How about tomorrow we try and find a better solution together? One that helps when it hurts too much. One that doesn't hurt you even more."

"Yes," Lena says around her tears, holding onto Kara's arms with both hands, unbothered by the gash in hers. Too drunk to notice. Kara frees Lena's hand, wincing at the deep red stain left behind on her sleeve. It's a lot more blood than she thought.

"I think you need stitches for that," Kara says as she holds Lena's hand up for her to see.

Lena gasps, "that's my hand?! That's deep."

Kara has to keep her from prodding at the cut with her other curious hand. "Yes, it is. That's why you need stitches."

"I can almost see my bones." Lena is lost in staring at her hand for a while, not noticing Kara carefully cleaning some of the now drying blood off her face and pulling her to her feet and out the door. Kara presses a towel in her hand, winding it around the hurt one and telling Lena, "hold on tight for me," as she guides her out, keeping an eye out for Lillian or any of the staff.

"I don't want to go to the doctor," Lena protests when she realises they're walking to the cars. "I don't want to. Please don't take me there. Please don't make me go." Lena stops dead in her tracks and nearly collapses sobbing again.

"Lena, you need stitches."

"Please, please, please," Lena whimpers softly, her voice so small and broken Kara really can't tell her she has to. She really doesn't have the heart to make Lena face what at the moment seems like her biggest fear.

Lena does need stitches though. The wound might not be bad enough to make her bleed out but Kara is certain it will get infected and leave a very ugly scar if it's not checked out. She thinks for a moment, bringing Lena's good arm around her shoulder so she doesn't tip over.

"You don't have to go to the hospital," Kara says when she's thought of a solution.

Lena immediately stops sobbing, eyes going wide at Kara's words. "Really?" she asks hopefully.

"Really. But you're still getting stitches."

Kara puts Lena in the back of her car and buckles her seatbelt, telling her to sit still. She could've called for one of their drivers but she doesn't want to make someone an accomplice to their current adventure. An adventure Lillian Luthor would certainly not approve of. The drive probably won't be long, outside of rush hour the streets aren't busy mostly, but hopefully it gives Kara enough time to make a phone call.

"Alex? I need a favour."

Thankfully, Lena is a rather cooperative drunk, allowing Alex to clean and stitch up the wound fairly quickly without much fussing.

"You have really soft fingers," Lena says as Alex wraps a bandage around her hand.

"Err, thank you."

"You're welcome." Lena stares in awe as Alex wraps the bandage several times and sticks it close with a piece of tape.

When Sam walks up to them with a glass of water, Lena's eyes land on her knees first and slowly rake their way up. Her neck craned back as far as possible by the time her eyes reach Sam's face. "Woah," she utters, "are you a giant?"

"No," Sam chuckles, "I'm just tall."

"Okay." Lena turns to Alex again. "I know you're not a real doctor but that's okay."

Alex opens her mouth to throw a jab back, visibly offended even though Lena is far too drunk to be taken seriously.

"Do you know how I know?" Lena asks before Alex can form any words. "Because you're so nice. Real doctors aren't nice."

Alex raises an eyebrow at Kara, who shrugs in return. She knows Lena doesn't like therapy days but she's never actually mentioned anything bad about her doctor or any of the other ones who used to treat her.

"Kara," Lena whispers loud enough for everyone to hear, "are you sure you didn't take me to a fairy tale house?"

"I'm sure." Kara has to hold her breath to keep from laughing at Lena. She really does feel bad for her and doesn't want to make fun of her.

"Really? Because I've already seen a fairy, a princess, a giant and now there's a dwarf too."

When everyone realises Lena is looking at Ruby in the doorway, Alex huffs, "our daughter is not a dwarf!"

"She's short," Lena points out.

"She's a kid."

"Oh. That explains." Lena averts her eyes from Ruby, attention already lost to something else.

"I think that's our cue to leave," Kara steps in.

"Wait," Alex says, grabbing Kara's wrist. "Sam, can you make sure she doesn't hurt herself even more? Rubes, please wait in your room for a few minutes."

"I'm twelve. I'm basically a grownup. I want to stay."

"If you listen to your mama and go to your room we can go get ice cream later," Sam bribes her and with a huff and groan Ruby disappears to her room.

Alex pulls Kara to the side, turning to face her and speaking in a hushed voice, "what kind of meds is she on? A cut like that isn't supposed to bleed that much, even with the amount of alcohol she's probably had."

"Oh, I don't know," Kara says surprised. "I don't know anything about meds.

"Do you have a list or remember some names? It's probably nothing but maybe she needs something to help with clotting. She'll probably be fine," Alex rushes to reassure Kara at the scared look in her eyes.

"I don't know. Wait! Yes. I took a picture of her medication list in case I forgot or lost it. Let me look it up." Kara searches on her phone for the picture and pushes it in Alex's hands when she's found it. Her sister meticulously reads the list and looks up some of the unfamiliar names in and on her phone and even googles some.

"Are you sure these are her meds?" she eventually asks, her brow furrowed in bewilderment.

"One hundred percent. Why?"

"Kara, these aren't meds for someone with mental health issues."

"Huh. I'm sure Lena's doctor prescribed these to her. What are they then for? Maybe there was a mix-up?"

"Most of these are given to extremely difficult institutionalised patients who will never get out because they're really unstable. They're supposed to make them less aggressive and more compliant. And this one-" Alex points at one of the names on the list- "isn't even registered. I can't find it anywhere so I'd have to look in more obscure places but I don't think Lena should even be getting them. Or most of the others for that matter."

"Why would she get them if they're not making her better?"

"Beats me, Kara. Maybe because they make her more docile and easier to deal with."

"But why not try to make her better?"

"I don't know. Maybe ask the person who prescribed them."

Kara nods and walks back over to Lena, who is feeling up Sam's face, apparently to confirm she's not a giant.

"Lena, please leave my sister-in-law alone," Kara says, taking her hands and helping her up.

"Sister-in-law?" Lena looks between Sam and Alex with big eyes. "You're married?"

"Yes, they are. Now let's leave them alone so they can have dinner with their family."

"Does your mother know?" Lena whispers conspiratorially to Alex.

"She does. Speaking of, Kara, mom says hi and was hoping you'd come to Ruby's party so she can finally see you again."

"Sure! I won't miss my favourite niece's party. Send me her wish list, will you?" Kara requests as she gently leads Lena outside.

"She's your only niece."

"Still my favourite."

Kara puts Lena back in her car and fastens her seatbelt before quickly running back to the house to hug Alex, Sam and Ruby – who snuck out of her room – goodbye.

About halfway through their drive, Kara notices Lena is being oddly quiet for a drunk who couldn't sit still on the drive over. When she looks in her rear-view mirror to sneak a peek, she notices a heavy crinkle in Lena's brow and an extremely serious yet also adorable look on her face.

"What's wrong Lena?"

"Your sister is gay."

Kara suddenly remembers the Luthor's reputation of extreme homophobia and regrets taking Lena to Alex. She prepares for the worst as she replies, "yes."

"And your mother knows."

"Yes." Kara wonders where this conversation is going, the brooding look on Lena's face only intensifying.

"And she's okay with it?"

"She is."

"I bet she's nice." Lena averts her eyes and looks out the window, leaving Kara to stare at her in confusion. Kara shakes her head, clearing her mind and focusses on the road again.

"She is. She's very nice. The best. Took me in like I was her own daughter when my parents died," Kara tells her, feeling like if she doesn't fill the silence Lena's demons will.

"You're adopted."

The lack of judgement in Lena's voice and slight awe makes Kara share more than she would've any other time, "mhmm, when I was thirteen but I don't really talk about it a lot."

"Me too," Lena admits softly. Another one of those rotting corpses, Kara thinks. "When I was four and my birth mom died. But Lionel is my real dad. I found out a few years ago, right before he died. I don't think Lillian ever wanted me."

Kara is beginning to see Lena might not be such a beloved daughter to Lillian and only an inconvenience. If Lillian had her way, she would probably have traded Lena's freedom for Lex's a long time ago. Actually has, taking Lena's freedom because Lex couldn't have his by locking her away in the Luthor manor.

They pull up to the house and solemnly make their way inside. Kara leaves Lena in her room with the instructions to put on her pyjamas while she goes to the kitchen to get Lena something that resembles dinner.

When Lena's done eating and has taken her meds – because even though it feels wrong, Kara doesn't dare make her stop taking them without consent from an actual doctor – Kara takes her to the bathroom and cleans her up as well as possible. Lena will have to take thorough shower in the morning when she's sobered up but for now this will do.

Kara helps Lena to her bed and tucks her in. She moves to flick of the light switch when Lena's voice stops her, "will you read to me?"

"Oh. Err. Sure. What do you want me to read?"

Lena shrugs, rustling the blankets with her movement, so Kara grabs the first book within reach and starts reading.

Lena shifts a little, yawns and tells Kara, "I don't think my meds mix well with alcohol."

Kara chuckles a little. "No, I don't think they do. Just try to sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

Before Kara finishes reading the rest of the page to Lena, the ravenette is already fast asleep. Kara retreats to her own room after visiting the kitchen for some food of her own but it takes her a lot longer to fall asleep. She keeps mulling over what Alex said about Lena's meds and eventually shoots her a text to ask if she can find out what the unregistered drug is for. It doesn't sit right with her and Kara feels like this might be only the tip of the iceberg of yet another rotting corpse. The ugliest so far.

The next morning Kara and a slightly hungover Lena talk about what to do next time Lena feels that bad again. Lena is back to her mostly indifferent self and it takes some effort from Kara to really get through to her and make sure she understands their deal and is willing to uphold her end of telling Kara as soon as she starts feeling bad so they can figure it out in that moment, since Lena doesn't seem to feel anything for Kara's other possible solutions.

Later that night, Alex sends her an extensive email with everything she's found out, including some comments from a doctor-friend of hers, and it leaves Kara reeling. The known drugs Lena uses should have never been given to her in the first place, save for one or two that might be prescribed for an actual good reason. The unknown drug, however, makes Kara nearly lose her faith in humanity, and that says a lot because she always sees the best in people.

Alex writes it has taken her some deep digging and calling in a favour with an old friend to finally get a list of possible uses. All unofficial.

Kara reads through it and immediately casts the first few options aside but the fourth option takes her breath away. It fits perfectly with what she's learned so far, making some puzzle pieces fall into place that had been floating around before. It doesn't mean this is the reason, but it's a strong contender and even if it this isn't why Lena got the drugs, the other options don't give Kara much hope either. This requires a little more prying from her. Her first target: Lena's doctor.

After Lena's next appointment, instead of picking her up outside the little room on the other side of the manor, Kara enters it.

"Ah, Miss Danvers. Still here I see," the doctor says as if he'd long since expected her to have quit.

"Yes," Kara answers coldly. "Lena, could you wait outside for a moment? I have some questions for your doctor." Kara purposefully refrains from addressing him and giving him the option to decline her demand. Lena silently obeys and leaves Kara with her doctor, closing the door behind her with a click.

"Doctor Lord," Kara starts but immediately gets cut off.

"Miss Danvers, have a seat. I'm glad you have some time to discuss Miss Luthor's treatment and therapy. Seeing you're still working for her, you must have somehow gotten through to her. She's very uncooperative during therapy and I hope you can change that." He leans forward over the desk, fingers clasped together as he rests his elbows on the smooth surface. "otherwise I will have to discuss other options with Miss Luthor. I was thinking about having her admitted to my private institution to effectively treat her."

"What are you treating her for exactly?" Kara bluntly asks, already disliking the smug man.

"Miss Luthor has some unhealthy habits and preferences and is very sick."

"Unhealthy preferences?"

"Yes, she seems to believe she's a homosexual." The way he spits out the word as if it really is a disease makes something snap inside Kara.

"You're trying to make her be attracted to men when that's not something you change or Lena even seems to want to change when she needs real help?!" Kara angrily gets up and slams both her hands on his desk.

"Now now, Miss Danvers. I believe Miss Luthor will greatly benefit from changing these unhealthy thought processes."

"I disagree. If you can't see that I don't think you should be the one to treat her."

"That's not your decision to make, thankfully."

"I believe it is. I work for Miss Luthor and my job description clearly states to care for her and always put her health and wellbeing first. That includes finding her a doctor who is actually trying to make her better and not make her a different person by drugging her up." She turns around and ignores the doctor trying to call her back, slamming the door close behind her and pulling Lena with her with a little more force than strictly necessary.

"You're not seeing him again," she declares as she dumps Lena in a chair in the small dining room. She needs to let out her anger and not on Lena.

Ten minutes later, she joins Lena again at the now set dining table, having screamed some of her frustration away in her pillow. Lena doesn't say anything, though she looks slightly less crestfallen than normally after therapy. Kara's mind works a million miles an hour to piece everything together and figure out what steps to take now. How to approach this best. A little thought starts to itch in the back of her mind and doesn't seem willing to leave her alone.

"Jess wasn't just your best friend, was she?" she eventually asks when she can't push the thought away anymore.

Lena gets a deer-caught-in-headlights look in her face so Kara quickly apologises, "sorry. I didn't mean to make you tell me something so personal but I couldn't shake the thought. My sister is gay too and there's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to know to make sure, with what doctor Lord said. I got curious. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." She fumbles with her glasses a little and casts her eyes down, turning back to her when Lena doesn't respond. Way to go, Kara, she chastises herself.

"No." Lena's response startles Kara a little. "She was my girlfriend." Lena doesn't meet Kara's eyes when the blonde lifts her head, her eyes cast on her food and her face solemn.

"I'm sorry." It's all Kara can really offer and it's not enough. It's nowhere near enough and it never will be. She should've caught on earlier. She should've seen it and intervened sooner. Now, she has so much to make up to Lena, she doesn't think it's possible in a lifetime.

"Lena?" Kara asks after a long silence.

Lena looks up and waits for Kara to continue.

"Would you be okay with seeing another doctor? A friend of my sister who will really help to try and make you better," Kara quickly adds when she sees Lena freeze and is reminded of her reaction to having to see a doctor for getting stitches when she was drunk.

Lena's eyes stare straight into Kara's soul, prying away each layer with a piercing gaze until she's gotten to her true core. Then, she hesitantly nods. Kara has come a long way already from the woman who wouldn't even look at her, let alone agree to something so bold.

"Thank you. I will discuss it with Mrs. Luthor too."

Lena's face falls at the mention of her mother but she never objects or brings it up again. Kara files her reaction away for later, going to the Luthor matriarch anyway but preparing to disregard anything she says.

Lena's initial reaction at the mention of her mother proves to a just one. Lillian Luthor coldly dismisses Kara when she tries to bring up Lena's inappropriate therapy.

"Lena is a very sick girl," Lillian Luthor tells Kara with a stone face, "and thus she is being treated to change that. You may leave." Mrs. Luthor looks back at the paperwork on her sleek wooden desk and continues working only to look up several moments later, poorly hiding her surprise when Kara hasn't moved to oblige.

"Being gay is not a disease Mrs. Luthor."

"Good thing you're not her doctor, Miss Danvers, because you would be terrible at it. Lena has been diagnosed by and is under treatment of a licensed doctor and I don't see mention of a medical degree in your files."

"Err, uhm," Kara stutters, "Lena is no longer under treatment of doctor Lord."

"What do you mean, silly girl? Of course she is."

"No. I fired him." If looks could kill, Kara would surely have died one thousand times over right now but she swallows heavily and keeps talking.  "I was hired to protect Lena's health and she was not improving from his treatment. I'm taking her to another licensed doctor." Kara lifts her chin, clenches her jaw and walks away, leaving a ferocious Lillian behind.

Only when she's outside does she realise this little stunt might have just cost her her job and any chance of helping Lena get better. However, Lillian doesn't come after her nor does Kara hear anything of her – or any of the other staff – about it for the rest of the day. Or the day after. Somehow, Kara has seemed to be able to keep her job. Maybe because she's the only one willing to put up with Lena this long and the one Lena is willing to put up with.

One more favour of Alex, and the promise to watch Ruby for an entire week in summer, later, Kara has made an appointment with a potential new doctor for Lena. The doctor being Alex's old fling slash girlfriend only a minor bump in the road, hence the promise to watch Ruby. Alex and Sam are both rooting for Lena to get some real help, though. They've somehow gotten attached to the girl they've only met once when she clearly wasn't in the right mind.

It takes another while for the appointment to actually take place, even big favours and some money – from Lena's therapy account – can't clear a doctor's schedule overnight and Kara has to admit she sees it as a good sign. It shows doctor Sawyer really cares about her patients and won't just bail on them.

Every day until the appointment, Kara has to fight herself to give Lena her meds. She feels morally obliged to stop giving them but she also knows stopping medication cold-turkey without any doctor's advice is an even worse idea. Lena has taken them this long and it's only a few more days.

When the much awaited – at least by Kara – day finally arrives, Lena has another one of her mute days. Kara had expected it but somehow it's still a surprise. She'd been looking forward to Lena finally having an appointment with a doctor willing to help her get better instead of putting her down and calling her sick for something she can't change, nor should want to. The ravenette does not seem to agree with her, however. Barely eating and not moving unless Kara asks her to, reluctantly getting in the little car for the drive over.

Kara does understand her being overwhelmed. In all the time Kara has worked for her, Lena has only left the premise once. Drunk.

The drive over is a quiet one. With each mile they gain, Lena seems to retreat into herself more, silently staring out the window without focussing on anything.

Kara parks her car amongst a few sleek black ones. Ones that look a lot like the cars used to drive Lillian Luthor around if you ask her. She doesn't know a lot about cars but they're all black, extremely clean and look very expensive.

As usual, Lena doesn't make a move to get out and this time, neither does Kara.

"Lena," she says, turning her head to the woman in the passenger seat, "I know this must be difficult for you. You don't like doctors and after meeting doctor Lord I understand why but can you please give this a fair chance? Doctor Sawyer is not doctor Lord and I really want you to get better and I know she can help. Please don't write it off before trying."

Lena looks back at Kara for a moment, her eyes not giving away any of her thoughts or feelings but Kara swears she sees something akin to hope briefly flicker in them before Lena averts her gaze again. Kara hopes she got through to her, at least enough to not make this visit completely useless. She doesn't feel like there's anything else she can do and before her mind can take over with thoughts on how Lena probably feels or how powerless Lena is – so much more so than Kara and she already feels overwhelmingly powerless at times – she opens her door and locks the car when Lena's exited too.

After fifty nerve-wrecking minutes waiting next to the ugliest plant Kara has ever seen, she's finally called back into doctor Sawyer's office. She nervously sits down in the free chair next to an equally anxious looking Lena and briefly wonders whether that's a good or a bad sign.

The three of them briefly discuss Lena's new treatment regime, though it's mostly just dr. Sawyer telling Kara what she and Lena decided on and what Kara needs to do. Which boils down to taking Lena off over half her meds and driving Lena over for therapy sessions.

With a firm handshake and the request to call if anything changes that requires her immediate attention, any time, dr. Sawyer sees them out.

Kara's hopes for Lena are up again. It seems like she's given dr. Sawyer a fair chance and wants to try whatever it exactly is they have decided on – Kara hasn't been told the details and since it's a personal thing of Lena's, she hasn't asked either.

The next weeks, not a lot seems to change, as expected, but Kara had secretly hoped Lena would already start to improve the moment she got taken off those horrendous pills. But her body has to recover and it takes several weeks for Kara to see an actual change. In all fairness, it probably took her this long to notice because she was looking for something else and didn't want to admit Lena off the drugs would mean she would get worse.

First, it's small things Kara doesn't see. Lena isolating herself more and more, finding another room as soon as someone enters the one she is in. Then she eats less and less, forgets meals so Kara has to go looking for her to coax her to the dining room.

Because Lena's more talkative and approachable on her good days, it startles Kara all the more when she does her biweekly obligatory sweep of Lena's room.

She doesn't even do it thoroughly because there hadn't been a reason before and she feels very uncomfortable intruding Lena's space. She checks the bed and the nightstand, pulling open the drawer and skimming through the contents before moving to the bathroom where she checks out the cupboard, briefly running her hand along the inside. When she pulls it back she notices blood on her fingers. At first, she thinks it's Lena's blood, somehow recently gotten on the inside of the cupboard. Then, it slowly trickles down her hand to her wrist and somehow seems to become more with every passing second. It's not too bad and Kara is more shocked than hurt really, and not thinking very logically because of it.

She squats down to look inside the cupboard and finds several razor blades, sharp and shin. A small stash of Band-Aids and gauze behind them. Kara carefully moves them to the countertop with her good hand, keeping the hurt one elevated to stop the bleeding from getting worse. She takes a piece of gauze and tears the packaging away, pressing it firmly on her cut finger while studying the culprits.

After a few minutes, Kara carefully removes the dirty gauze and examines the damage. It seems she has stopped bleeding and the cut is rather shallow, though long. The edges are still together so she doesn't think she'll need anything other than a Band-Aid. She steals all of Lena's, along with the razors, and drops them in her own room before looking for some antiseptic, just to be sure.

When she's all cleaned up, her finger carefully wrapped up by another staff member, Kara retreats to her room, unsure of what to do. It's clear Lena had somehow gotten her hands on a razor and seemed to have every intent on cutting herself but Kara isn't sure she ever actually did it and doesn't want to cause Lena to do something even worse when she realises Kara knows and has prevented her from doing this.

Kara sags down on her bed and rests her head in her hands while she considers her options. She takes a few steadying breaths and ends up calling Alex because her sister is so much better at knowing what to do and she doesn't want to make the wrong move.

Her phone rings several times and Kara has almost lost hope of Alex answering when she suddenly hears a click and her sister's voice fills her ear.

"Kara? This better be important." Kara doesn't register any of those words as relief floods her system.

"Alex?" Kara notices her voice sounding oddly muffled and it croaks, almost breaking over the second syllable.

"Kara?" Alex voice suddenly is a lot softer, "are you okay?"

"Yes," Kara answers, almost making it sound like a question, like she's not entirely sure. "I'm okay."

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not." Kara's gaze falls down, it's surprisingly blurry but she might have taken her glasses off, she doesn't remember. Then, her eyes focus on a darker spot on her jeans. A tiny wet patch near her knee. She lifts her fingers to her face and, to her surprise, she feels hot tears on her cheeks. "Oh."

"Do you need me to come get you? If something happened I don't want you working there anymore."

"No, no, it's not that. It's Lena – she's not hurt!" Kara quickly reassures Alex, she had checked up on her hiding in a corner in the library before she went to check her bedroom. "She- Alex I think she wanted to though. I found razor blades and Band-Aids hidden in her room."

"Are you sure?"

Kara nods solemnly before realising her sister can't see her and answers her with a low, "yes."

"Did you talk to her already?"

"No."

"Call Ma- her doctor?"

"No." Alex should have this job, she's so much better at this stuff than Kara. Why didn't she think of these options?

"Maybe talk to Lena first, let her know you're there for her. Ask her what she needs but don't judge her or blame her for it."

"Okay." Kara bobs her head up and down as she rakes a hand through her hair. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Kara lets out a breathy laugh out of sheer relief. "Yeah, I'm okay now."

"Good. Well, good luck I guess. Hang in there."

"Thank you, I will. Bye!"

"Bye. See you Sunday."

Kara wipes away her spilt tears and takes a few deep breaths. She's fine. Lena doesn't seem to have done anything yet. Everything will eventually work out but first, she has a tough conversation to steel herself for.

With a soft knock on the wood of one of the bookcases, Kara announces her presence to Lena.

"Lena, can we talk?" Kara asks tentatively. Lena's face immediately falls and her movements look a lot more measured than usual as she puts a bookmark between the pages of her book and places it to the side. When Kara doesn't move to sit beside Lena, the ravenette lift herself off the floor and follows Kara to her room. Kara would much rather have a talk like this in a not so public room. One where she's sure no one will accidentally walk in on them. She's been a lot more careful about letting Lillian – and by extension other staff members because they still get paid by her and will probably blab the moment the Luthor matriarch asks – know anything of what's going on. Especially anything regarding Lena.

Kara gestures for Lena to sit with her and turns a little to better face the younger woman.

"Okay, I want to start off by saying I'm not angry or disappointed or anything. I just hope you know you can talk to me. Always. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble and I should probably cut to the chase." She gets up and takes the razors, carefully placed in a small box to prevent another accident, and the Band-Aids and sits back down, showing the items to Lena. "Please talk to me when you feel like hurting yourself. I might not be a doctor but I'm here to help you. I wantto help you."

Kara tries to catch Lena's gaze to convey how much she cares and is here to support Lena and not to judge her. Lena, however, does everything she can to avoid Kara's stare, curled in on herself, shoulders hunched and plucking at the sleeve of her blouse as she keeps staring at the box.

Kara knows this is not the moment but she can't help making a mental note to go shopping for some more comfortable clothes for Lena, now that she might actually care about that again.

"I'm sorry," Lena whispers after a long moment.

"You don't have to apologise, just please tell me how I can help."

"I didn't do it. I didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Lena looks completely lost. She looks like a small child receiving a scolding and Kara realises that might be what always happened before when Lena slipped up and made mistakes.

"I'm not asking that," Kara says, shaking her head slightly and hunching over a little more to make another attempt at catching Lena's gaze. "I'm only asking you to talk to me. To let me help."

"Please don't tell mother." Lena looks straight at Kara, green eyes scared and glassy.

"I won't, I promise. Is there anything else I can do right now?"

Lena seems to consider the offer for a moment before shaking her head.

"Nothing? I'll do anything if it helps."

"Anything?" Lena asks apprehensively.

"Almost anything. I'm not sure if I could eat kale again," Kara says with a lopsided smile, hoping to lighten the heavy mood. She's rewarded with the slightest smile on Lena's lips and counts it a victory. "Just tell me if you ever feel like hurting yourself again or if you want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay." Lena looks away again, eyes studying the desk on the opposite wall. She doesn't make a move to leave so Kara stays put too. There falls a silence between them but Kara knows better than to pry.

"I've never actually done it," Lena tells her after a while. "I've never been able to even if I've wanted it." Lena is plucking at her sleeve again and Kara has to supress the urge to reach out and still Lena's hands with her own. Lena's never been one for touching, so Kara tries to keep her distance whenever possible.

"You don't have to tell me," Kara quickly assures her. She doesn't want to make Lena feel like she's being forced to talk.

"I know." Lena shakes her head and shrugs. "I just wanted you to know. I don't think I ever will do it, I always get too scared for some reason, when it gets down to it. A voice or something keeping me from taking real action. And then it makes me feel weak because I can't even do this one thing I have the urge to do but later I'm glad I didn't. When it's passed, the next day or the one after."

Kara silently listens to Lena talk, feeling like they're really getting somewhere. It's probably good for Lena to get this off her chest and, though she still needs to talk to dr. Sawyer about it, Kara hopes it helps for Lena to know there's someone else for her to talk to. Someone else to help her, any time of day because Kara has nowhere else to go. Not as long as she's working here.

"Thank you for telling me, Lena. I don't think you're weak. I think you're one of the strongest people I know. I hope next time you know you can come to me. Even in the middle of the night. That's why I'm here. That's what friends are for."

Lena tilts her head and looks at Kara, a small crinkle in her brow.

"Do you want to do something before dinner?" Kara asks when Lena only studiously keeps staring at her. "Play a game? You still owe me a rematch at chess."

Kara is already halfway to the door when Lena's soft voice stops her. "Friends?"

This time Kara is the one who's eyebrows knit together. Should she not have said that? Maybe Lena doesn't see her as a friend. She isjust another employee.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just- to me you're a friend but if you don't want that it's okay," Kara assures her.

"I do. Want to be friends," Lena adds after a beat when Kara doesn't immediately catch on to what she means. Kara can't help the goofy grin appearing on her face when she does comprehend.

"Good. Now, chess?"

"You don't stand a chance. Are you sure?"

"One day I will beat you, you know. You're going to regret being so cocky then."

"Today is not that day."

Lena is right. Kara loses dramatically within several minutes but she doesn't care because Lena laughs as she takes her king and all might not be right yet and she's still being paid to spend time with her but it's better than last week, last month and heaps better than the day Kara started.